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It may be not until breaking up that you realize how you and your ex were actually so good. A great relationship isn’t when a perfect couple comes together, but an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
After a breakup, it takes a couple weeks for the fog to settle, but it’s always a period of self-priority and growth. If you are seeking for an urgent help to make your ex want you back, here are the two powerful tips to trigger his emotions.
The more unaffected you appear to your ex, the more you will arouse his curiosity to know what makes you so indifferent. It really doesn’t help at all to know why he decided to leave at this stage of the relationship, what matters most is to let the dust settle down so you can see clearly what went wrong in the relationship.
There are many other powerful techniques you can choose from to get your man’s undivided attention. Find out why he's just not that into you anymore -- and what you can do to save your relationship!
Recently, I found myself sipping beer and carrying on conversation with some good Christian blokes around a table at a local restaurant.
The Spirit filled life of the believer on earth is one that is fraught with all kinds of tension and release. In my Song Selection Rubric, you’ll see how I work my way through a song canon as I plan singing in a particular church. We must ask ourselves, are our song choices nourishing us, our families, and our churches with a full and nutritious diet of melody and emotion?
We are fortunate to be able to introduce you to someone you may not yet know – Zach Loomis. In case you haven’t tuned into previous posts, In Post 1, I introduced our series by considering Paul’s exhortation in Colossians as to why and how he thinks we should sing as Christians. Years ago I attended a church that sang “I Give Myself Away” as the opening song in their worship. The heart here is to crave and thirst for good poetry and prose in our singing; using language that adorns God’s truths with beauty, and allows God’s people, in the best way possible, to comprehend God’s majesty.
We are fortunate to have great friends like Joe Brookhouse who take advantage of opportunities to do interviews on our behalf. I heard a Professor in college once say that most Christians are struggling deeply with their faith because they believe in a “canon within a Canon.” He made this statement while teaching the history behind how we received the 66 book Canon of The Bible. A great example of cherry picking Bible knowledge is the everyday bumper sticker that resounds Jeremiah 29:11’s promise to Israel, that God has plans for us and will give us hope and a future. The bottom line is that God gave to us a complete Canon—not portions—of Scripture that is about HIM, not US, and within its pages it tells the entirety of the Gospel.
This idea of churches forming a “canon within a Canon” has shown up in our singing unfortunately.
In the next 4 posts we will try to examine a way to ensure that we sing the story of Scritpure fully. To do this, my approach over the years has been to steal an outline from Mark Driscoll’s book Doctrine (His outline is reflected in the first portion of the Song Selection Rubric.
As I’m picking songs, for any reason, I categorize them by the truths they emphasize, in order to see if I’m being enriched with ALL of God’s truths. Are we singing songs that are deeply enriching us with all the truths that God wants us to know—mind, body and spirit?
Songs are important to us!  They not only have the power to equip us for a good car ride but they rise to even higher levels of influence.
The fact is the world is going to perpetually attempt to define the style, the songs and the artists that are appropriate for the training of the human mind, body and soul.
NOTE: Throughout this series, I’ll be examining particularly the church’s corporate singing and will include a document called the Song Selection Rubric. To introduce this series of posts, I’d like to briefly look at one of the most famous verses in the Bible when it comes to singing. Songs are for our Mind: Notice that this verse implores us to let the message of Christ dwell among us as we teach through song.
Jonathan Edwards in Religions Affections said this, “Since holiness is the main thing that excites, draws, and governs all gracious affections, it is no wonder that all such affections tend to holiness. Stay tuned to my future posts in this series where we will turn to some practical tools to help us sing better as Christ’s bride. If our previous posts 1-4—detailing Christ’s role as High Priest (Part 1), Christ’s duty as Worship Liturgist (Part 2), and his effect on the Cosmos (Part 3) and the Church (part 4)—are correct, then Christ indeed has something to say about culture.  To deal with this issue, the famous H. If you’re looking for an idea for a family service or a theme to tie your Christmas service, or kids Christmas services together, you might want to check out ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas Eve! Following the aforementioned, we have begun to discuss the ramifications of Christ’s leadership.  In Part 3 we considered his role in the cosmos, and in our post today we’ll consider his role in the church, and next time we’ll talk about his role in the culture. The Bible says the church is body, many but one, and connected to Christ as our ‘Head.’ Like a temple we are built up. As a parent is encouraged to “train up” a child in the way they should go (the Hebrew literally meaning to “give the child a palette and taste for beauty), our rhythms as a believing people should be giving us a palette and taste for the kingdom in the moment-by-moments of our lives. In most modern day churches we sing.  Whether your church is modern or traditional, liturgical or free, you probably have singing as some part of your service.  Now the question of “Why do we sing?” is another matter for another time, but do we ever pay attention to what we sing? Do we want God to lead us where our trust is without borders and go wherever He would call us? Do we want to be taken deeper than our feet would ever wander so that our faith would be strengthened? If we believed what we sung and believed the words were real, would our churches look different than they do today?  Would we be doing the same things are doing now?  Are we singing these songs because they have catchy melodies and cool hooks or are we singing them because we truly believe the words?  Just food for thought.  If you have any more thoughts on this subject, please comment below. And on this particular Sunday, the song was close enough but different enough where it became very difficult for this gentleman to accept. I think we all understand that change is difficult, and I’m sure each of us have dealt with change on some level or another. In this episode, we are privileged to get to hear from Jon Egan and hear him talk about their new album entitled, Soak. TRY TO GET HIM BACK OR FORGET HIM?”3 REASONS NOT TO STAY FRIENDS AFTER A BREAKUPMY BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE I’M UGLYHow To Make Him Regret Losing You – Happiness Is Your Best Revenge.How To Overcome The Feelings Of Rejection After a BreakupI Think My Boyfriend Is Going To Break Up With Me! When you show a guy that you are deeply affected by the breakup, you will only justify his decision to leave.


You see, when your man is pulling away, and you don’t want it, there is a clash of wills, stress, and tension.
Even worse, when you insist to know why he wants to leave, you will come across as a desperate and needy woman. If you keep on implementing these techniques, you will soon see your ex-boyfriend displaying signs he wants you back in his life once again. We were philosophizing over the state of singing in the church, and talking about how the church has grown too “happy.” On a typical Sunday morning, a Western church goer puts on a shine to their shoes and smile, and goes to a amped up church, singing about the peppiness of faith and practice.
Good song choices should acknowledge that we are human, and we need to be fully represented in all our depths of feeling.
I judge every song in relationship to all the others as to whether I am fully embracing the tonal ethic of the Psalms in the songs choices, as well as balancing what it means biblically to sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. In Post 2 I first explored how a good approach to singing would be to first ensure that we are singing the total scope of God’s story.
She looks at a lyric’s strength and weaknesses in allusion to story, Trinitarian language, references to God, corporate Ethos, sentence structure, diction, coherence, sound, melody, harmony, rhythm, compatibility with music and text, and singability.
What he meant in this statement is that most Christians are like flower pickers rather than Gardener’s (my designation) when it comes to the Bible.
Those who parade this verse often cling to its promise in hopes that God will one day reveal his plans for them, and give them the dream for which they hope. In the book, Driscoll outlines the core doctrines of Scripture very well in my opinion and his chapter titles have provided me over the years with good headings by which to consider the songs I’m introducing in my church. Consider what it would be like if someone wrote a crime mystery thriller and left out the ending?  I’m afraid the church and its people are guilty of shortchanging God’s story in leaving aspects of it out, as well as overemphasizing things inappropriately in like fashion!  Note, the Song Selection Rubric, does not teach a science, as many songs will definitely fall into multiple categories, and there are many songs that when strung together may highlight the story better as a unit, but the heart of this approach is what needs to be grappled with. We must realize however, that God created singing, and thus as its grand architect, he knows completely its purpose and appropriate use.
I give this tool to song planners everywhere, and I will refer to it often throughout my posts and give the reasoning behind each section. This implies centripetal (motion inward) and centrifugal (motion outward) motion to our songs. We are not to heavily rely on the music and lyrics simply indoctrinate and instruct us, but we are to bring robustly trained minds to our singing. This is why the Scriptures seem to prioritize the human voice in resonating with other voices as the main accompanied sound of heaven. How often does corporate singing in our churches cause people to feel as if they’re like a bunch of floating atoms flying around the room in their own independent little worlds? Richard Niebuhr developed five models for how Christ deals with culture: (1) Christ against culture, (2) the Christ of culture, (3) Christ above culture, (4) Christ and culture in paradox, and (5) Christ the transformer of culture.  The question for us to answer, is which one is most Biblical? Lastly, in Christ the transformer of culture model, he takes the old heap of metal in that car, he obliterates it, reshapes it, makes it new and completely redeems it.  This last model is what I believe to be most consistent with the Christ of the Bible. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. His memory of the hymn had been tainted by what he felt was a drastic change to a hymn that he dearly loved. But in that moment, I realized I had a role and a responsibility as a Worship Pastor to help navigate the path of change for this gentleman. How do we help those people who have a dear, beloved memory of a hymn and feel that any modern day equivalent will not do it justice… or that it will disgrace the namesake of the author somehow? I find this to be the most helpful thing when talking to people who have a hard time with change. But helping your church navigate through change could be one of the most important, and Pastoral things that you do.
A lot of times, they’re right in front of your face and they’re really difficult, but we must make them. If He Does, What Do I Say To Him?Signs Your Boyfriend Is Going To Break Up With You10 simple ways to make your marriage strongerTips To Help You Cope With The Breakup. However, if you display an unaffected attitude toward his leaving, if you act as if it is the same for you, whether he leaves or stays, he will doubt his decision, and begin to question himself: “Is she seeing someone else?
So by using the power of this method, you are using the weight of your ex’s desire to your advantage, and to his disadvantage. Maybe because he is not sure of himself, or that he doesn’t want to say things that he may regret later.
The heart was to be able to give away this album FREE to the church to help those who are hurting, grieving, lost, and caught in despair, bitterness and even rage—whether their feelings be toward God or even injustice shown to them in their own life. He explains that the good life is “an implicit picture of what human flourishing looks like.” Through our singing, we try and pull a fake heaven down into earth and convince ourselves that life is all positive thinking and emotional joy, when in reality the Bible is very honest about the fact that “real life” in this present evil age, and heavy rich experience is just not like this. I included a document for Corporate Worship Singing called the Song Selection Rubric , that will continue to help us more thoughtfully think through our singing, and I want to explore in Post 3 the next part of this Selection Rubric in hopes of broadening our approach to corporate singing. These may seem like small things but in a day and age where we’ve lost profound poetry in worship music, we need to learn from those in the body of Christ that have gone before us who have enriched us in how to craft more illustrative prose.
Most people cherry pick verses from the Scriptures in whatever manner they like, and assemble the truths (apart from their context) into beautiful worldview bokehs that fit their taste. Sadly, what they never realize is that this verse has already been fulfilled in the person of Jesus. Some churches shout for God’s kingdom and yet fall silent when singing of sin and the cross. Classical compositions such as Gioachino Rossini’s Morning Song became powerfully attached to a sunrise through its use in cartoons. This is why I want to deeply consider singing!  If as Christians we’re to SING, I want to know what songs we’re to sing.  What is the purpose of our singing?  Who do we sing to?  Why do we sing?  Should we think at all about the songs we’re choosing to listen to? The more we know the Bible, and the more we know the person of Jesus, the more our singing is enriched. Hands are raised, eyes are closed, lights are off, and voices shout, but all in an effort to create an individual encounter with Christ.
Was there something significant about the change you implemented that is helping the church move forward or taking the church to a place it needs to be? Most of the time, it seems people have a very passionate view about change and want to express that view.
If your answer to any of the above questions is yes, then you have come to the right place. If you act in such away, as it was expected by your ex, it will confirm that his decision to break up with you was right.


After a breakup, it is of no use to try to get to the good feelings of your lover, as long as the clash of wills is going on, as long as you want something different from what he wants. In all cases and whatever the reason of his decision was, you need to hold yourself back from asking him why he took such a decision. Even Jesus, in his perfect, fully God, fully man state here on earth, experienced the full tones of human emotion. God sets us aflame with his training, and brings us to our knees in lament, only that we may feel the weight of our sin and dross fall off our shoulders, and thus stand up to rejoice. I found myself wondering, “how can I give myself away to nothing—what am I responding to?” The Bible clearly shows us that God observes a rhythmic pattern in worship whereas he always reveals himself FIRST, and in our encounter with his holiness, we are then motivated to give our sins up in repentance, and ourselves away in service.
This verse is a Messianic promise to the nation of Israel, and by cherry picking it out of its context, a person can absolutely obliterate its original meaning.
Some are infatuated with God’s reign, strength, and power and have overlooked his posture of a humble servant in the Incarnation. We will also continue to build on our look at singing by following a simple rhyme of words that can help us stay balanced:  total, text, tone, target. It reveals the things our church tends to love to sing about, and the things we naturally neglect.
Is a big conglomerate like EMI Records going to define what edifies the body of Christ, or is God? In Colossians however, it would seem singing is predominantly grounded in the context of being amongst “one another.” We are to benefit the BODY of Christ first and foremost in our singing!
Paul’s view of singing is far more corporate.  Enriching corporate singing is dispensed through the sound of the masses, not in the isolated sound of an ear bud headphone! We will speak more about how songs emotionally and “soul-ish-ly” form us in our Christian maturity in future posts, but consider for a moment how singing changes when married to thankfulness!
Those acts which men delight in, they necessarily incline to do.” Related to singing, this quote implies that singing shapes and forms and shapes our perception of beauty, delight, and desire.
In this episode we will be talking about how they have built a relationship and some things you may consider doing as you think about raising up youth worship leaders in your church. In part 2, Joe & Jon talk about some of the struggles they have had at New Life, and more importantly how God has shaped Jon and the church through them. I shared with the gentleman what we were doing with that song and how it fit into the service.
But as soon as you get them to step back and look at the big picture of who you are as a leader and someone who wants to follow God, their perspective quickly changes! You are about to discover two time-tested methods to make a man crave to come back to you and never want to leave.
This is exactly what will run through his mind, when he sees you emotionally hurt by the split. However, popping songs like worship pills of “happy,” seems to stink of unauthentic denial. This means that we must reconsider what our singing is saying about how we view “the good life.” Is our singing fully capturing, preparing, shaping, forming, and readying our people to express their heart in response to God through all of life’s valleys and mountain tops? Here, text and function become important because this church I speak of is not just making an illogical choice, but an unbiblical one. The misinterpretation of this verse and many others has set a slew of Christians up for placing hope in their self-conceived dreams, which leads them into making idols of their ambitions. We cannot just pick out the parts we like and ignore the ones that don’t “speak to us.” The whole of Scripture is there for our training, rebuking, and edification in righteousness (2 Tim. To begin, we will consider the whole or total story of Scripture, and briefly think through how to involve the whole story of God in our song and lyrics. Bach’s Joy of Man’s Desiring is iconic in religious settings as well as Handel’s Messiah.  Even into today on a more popular level, we have songs like Beyonce’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) that defines not only a mantra for a new generation, or a relationship, but promotes a dance craze, much like Chubby Checker’s The Twist.
Truth spins out of us in passion and zeal, and as it hits the air, others hear, are edified, and it creates a climate of spinning truth.
It’s not just the truths in the songs that matter, nor that we keep our eye on our neighbor as we’re singing. The mind, the Body, and the affections (soul) are deeply connected not only to our well-being, but to our mission. Well, in this episode of the WMC podcast, we get into some of the reasons why you should consider using Mainstage for playing keys in your worship band.
If you’ve ever struggled or gone through the valley at your church or in your ministry, you’ll want to listen and share this interview! He probably sang this song dozens of times for years and years and it was very special to him.
By asking this gentleman to pray for me as I work on songs and music and creating a service, I suddenly was able to show my humanity and that I can’t do it on my own. An overall happy approach denies what real life is really like and how deep affections are truly formed.
They are stressing the actions of man first before the actions of God—going against thousands of years of church liturgy and wisdom—and are truly shaping their church toward a man-centered-focus rather than a Godward gaze. We should see the whole thing as being enriched with nutrients, and seek to harvest every square inch of soil in the hopes that a healthy life will grow.
The concern in Paul’s mind is that we also bring our whiny, complaining, sin-bent soul to the altar of God, and lay down our entitlement crowns through our singing.
Singing shapes us in an effort that we may leave enflamed with love for our fellow Christian friends, and empowered for witness before a watching world! I’m not sure if he fully bought into my vision, but I brought him alongside me and I walked him through what I was doing.
As seen on the Song Selection Rubric , when I plan songs, I take a look at the number of total songs, and the text of the songs I’m using in order to best determine if I’m including songs of revelation (God’s actions) and our actions (response). Rather than embracing the attitude of the world, singing is supposed to form us in our mind, body and our attitudes and affections. Don’t just tell people to accept it, help them buy into it and invite them to walk through it with you.



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