How to get an ex back after two years

Quotes on how to get over your ex reddit

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When it comes to breaking up, we're usually of the opinion that the person doing the dumping should at least have the decency to do it in person. But the breakup texts in the slides below are so funny, we may have to reconsider our stance.
Tell us which breakup text is the best (and by "best" we really mean most awful) in the comments, then click through the slideshow below for 15 hilarious autocorrect fails from Damn You Autocorrects. Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Don’t worry though, I saw this problem and spent two months creating that step by step plan people were clamoring for. You are going to discover that this page is really long, in-depth but more importantly, it is going to help you to not only get your boyfriend back but to rediscover yourself in the process. I thought the best way to go about the rest of this page would be to take an in-depth look at each step of the ex recovery process starting with your break up and what to do immediately after it. Ok, before we do any soul searching or serious strategizing you are going to have to implement the no contact rule. If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it. Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid. Your ex boyfriend is probably going to start wondering why you aren’t talking to him and possibly may even begin to miss you. Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future. However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs.
Another thing that you always hear guys saying is the fact that they are constantly nagged to death by their girlfriends. Nagged To Death = A man looks at this as if his woman no longer is satisfied with what he has to offer or bring to the table. Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. A lot of times what can happen is an ex can realize what they missed about you once they are settled in with their new person. A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. Everyone always thinks they could do better until they go out and realize that the relationship they had before wasn’t so bad. A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. One thing that needs to be made clear is that if you are going to seriously invest the time and effort to get your ex boyfriend back you are going to have to adopt a new mindset. The big goal that you should strive for is to create a relationship with your ex boyfriend that is not only new but better. To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever.
So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger. If you can’t already tell I truly do enjoy helping women strategize on how to get their ex boyfriends back. As a general rule it is good to have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your significant other. If you break your no contact period agreement (talking to him in any shape or form before the 30 days are up) then you have to start your 30 day no contact period over. Ok, so those are pretty much the most basic things of the big NO-NO’s of the no contact period. Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been.
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. You can change your hairstyle- I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts. Get in shape- There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea. Clean up your diet- Again, this is another great way to feel better about yourself and notice how it is the opposite of sitting around eating ice cream all day. Clean up any skin problems you have- If you have excessive acne or any unwanted moles you can get those taken care of. So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state.
Focus on work- It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Write in a journal- Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal. Have fun- If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them. It shows you are moving on- In a strange way you kind of want your ex to know that you are on a date with someone.
It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident. It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex. It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method.
I don’t know about you but if I got a letter out of the blue from an ex girlfriend I might be a little creeped out.
You should try to create a message that is so interesting it is impossible for your ex boyfriend not to respond. Since things went positively you can contact them again in a few days and talk for a little bit longer. Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section.
First things first, this is not the part where you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back. Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were. When you write your text message to him you are going to have to go into details instead of just writing something general.
Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. Choice 2: “Do you remember the night where I loaned you my jacket at the football game?
Sometimes asking your ex a question can work well to get them to remember a good experience. More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet. If you haven’t heard anything from them yet and it has been past a couple of days then this could mean a couple of things. Whatever the case is just simply take things down a notch and start a few more harmless text messages where you just make first contact. You have to be really careful because if this is done wrong then your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back drop drastically. Well, now you are going to implement a number of small heart to heart chats in various different ways that are going to change your fortune in a positive way. One of the little things I always love about relationships that are going well is how you are constantly helping each other remember things.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in.
Your best bet here is to take out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that you have ever appreciated about your ex so you have an inventory to dive in. Plan your phone call when you know that your ex boyfriend will have a moment to talk privately. I researched a lot on this section and discovered there are two types of very different methods to making this important phone call.
This one is risky and may not get you a yes to a meet up but it allows you the ability to try again later whereas the method below this one pretty much lays your cards on the table.
The Muslim Social Services Agencya€™s (MSSA) mission is to provide care, resources and services to those in need. It is estimated that there are 3,419 men, women, and children who are homeless in Baltimore on any given night. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career.
So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you.
That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook.
Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right?
I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that.
You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on. But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend.
So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that.
It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon.
Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule. So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will.
Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts.
The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front. If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally.
Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule. So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome.
And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. Before you entered into a relationship with your ex boyfriend you knew that deep down being clingy and needy was probably going to be a turn off to him but as you developed a deeper connection with him you couldn’t help yourself.
Now, I am not insinuating that you approached anything close to this when you broke up with your ex boyfriend I am just saying that I know what it’s like to be in love and I know that sometimes it can make you do some clingy or needy things.
In this guide I am going to be talking about how you can recover from these clingy or needy things that occurred in your relationship with your ex.
I bet you weren’t expecting me to say that being clingy can have a positive aspect to it, huh? As it turns out there is a way in which being clingy and needy can be an attractive thing to men. So, if you have ever wondered what kinds of things a stage 5 clinger does to turn off a man then the section entitled, The Negatives Of Being Clingy, is going to be especially interesting to you.
Whenever you do research on women who are clingy or overly needy you often hear experts scolding them for that type of behavior.
To me if a girl gets a little clingy it means she really has strong feelings for me and I like that.
Whenever a girl exhibits clingy behavior like jealousy, constantly wanting to be around me and texting me a lot I kind of like it. I want to tell you about what a girl can do to all of a sudden make those cute little clingy behaviors into overly clingy to the point where it becomes a turn off.
One thing we have already established about me and most other men is that we like needy behavior but only to a certain extent.
Lets pretend that you and I are dating and at the beginning of the relationship you would exhibit the three clingy behaviors I mentioned above. Of course, as time went on I began to notice a gradual change in the intensity of these behaviors. For example, any time you would get jealous you would get jealous to the point where you would start a huge argument and you wouldn’t trust me about anything.
You also became so clingy to the point where any time I would go into a room you would have to follow me in there. Of course, as our relationship grew deeper the texting ratio changed completely to a 3:1 ratio. You see, when most women search the internet for advice on clingy behavior most experts list out all the needy behaviors that you need to avoid but almost none of them do a good job of explaining WHY you need to avoid them. Imagine for a moment that you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you hear this buzzing around your head. It is entirely possible that this is how your ex boyfriend viewed you in your relationship if you were too overbearing with how you texted him. One of the best ways to determine if you were a text gnat or not is to look at your last 100 text messages between you and your ex. If for example, the texting ratio ends up being something like 70:30 where you have sent him 70 text messages and he has only responded to 30 of those text messages then that probably means you are venturing into text gnat territory where you are becoming kind of overbearing. Someone who is a text gnat screams desperation and no guy wants a serious relationship with a woman who is desperate. In fact, I remember a long time ago there was one girl who had such a crush on me that she would text gnat the heck out of me.
She kept texting me to the point where it really started annoying me and I eventually had to say something to her. Because she seemed totally desperate and if I am going to be attracted to anyone it was going to be a woman who is smart, independent and NOT desperate. Now, a normal girlfriend should be excited about the prospect of going to a party with her boyfriend.
Instead of being excited about the party you get angry at me for texting another girl and accuse me of cheating. You become so threatened by Tina that you forbid me to ever text another girl for the rest of my life.
In my opinion, extreme jealousy has a direct correlation to a woman trying to control a man and nothing annoys a man more than a woman who tries to control him. I have only heard of one example of shadowing in my personal life but I have heard of multiple examples through this site which is why I know it exists.
Shadowing- Becoming so dependent on another human being that you have to be around them all the time. If you are still a little confused when it comes to this concept don’t feel bad, it is a little complicated to grasp. When I was in high school a very long time ago I knew a guy that would get angry at his girlfriend for the dumbest things. When I heard this I was baffled at why he would have to accompany her if she simply wanted to leave the room.
What we have here is a case of someone who is so insecure that he wouldn’t even let his girlfriend leave the room without him. Some of the more common forms of shadowing I have seen is the classic invasion of alone time. Look, sometimes men need their alone time where you aren’t constantly badgering them with questions or the latest drama that went on at work.
Think about it, if your ex wanted to have a guys night out with his friends but you insisted on tagging along you were harassing him with unwanted attention which is technically the same behavior a stalker engages in. If you were so insecure that you couldn’t even let him have an hour on his own to recharge his batteries then you are technically defined as a talker. That means that every day whenever I read your comments on this site I can kind of get bummed out because, to me, it sometimes feels as if all I see are failed relationships.
In other words, I am basically saying that the only time I would hang around other girls is if my girlfriend (you in this imaginary case) was there. So, lets pretend that you are really insecure about other girls around me, even though I have proven to you multiple times that I am the most trustworthy man on the planet. In fact, you have become so insecure about other women that you constantly try to control me and basically order me to never talk to any of them ever again. In fact, most of the time by you controlling a man you push him to do the behavior you don’t want him to in the first place. Now that you have a pretty good idea of what clingy behavior is and why it annoys men lets take a look at what you are going to have to do in order to overcome that clingy behavior to have a chance at getting your ex boyfriend back.
Now, before I get started on explaining what I mean by these four pillars I feel it is very important to discuss the point of what we are trying to accomplish here. The point of this section is to show you what you have to do in order to achieve that goal. If the main goal that we are trying to accomplish here is overcoming your exes impression of you then it is probably a really good idea to figure out what that impression is. For example, if you and I dated each other and I was constantly telling you how I hated the fact that you were always trying to control me then you would know that the clingy behavior that you would really have to work on is to NOT be controlling. In other words, what we are trying to do here is to figure out what behaviors you exhibited that needs to change for you to even have a shot of getting him back. While I never actually was in a relationship with this person (I never even went a date with her actually) she exhibited some super clingy behavior from the get go that made me immediately want to not talk to her. Any time I wouldn’t respond to a text message she would send she would grow frustrated and berate me with insults. I immediately classified her behavior as clingy and controlling and I did not want a presence like that in my life.
They call, text or skype their ex so much that it can sometimes go beyond regular clingyness. If you need a refresher on how creepy this can be take a look at the very first picture I posted on this page of the woman who called her ex 77,000 times after her breakup with him.
A year or two ago one of my friends told me something really interesting about relationships. By being clingy and needy with phone calls or texts you are playing right into what they already believe is going to happen. If I am being completely honest with you it annoys me when I see women begging for their exes back because to me that means they don’t know their own value. So, rather than playing right into what he already believes is going to happen after a breakup (you getting all clingy with phone calls) I would recommend that you do the exact opposite of that.
By doing a no contact rule for either 21 or 30 days (depending on the situation) you are going to accomplish two things.
If you guessed the girl who tries to get her boyfriend back when he is not that angry then you guessed right. I am going to be talking about this a lot more in-depth in the next section but for now I can give you a little teaser of whats to come. While you are using the no contact rule to give your ex time to cool down you can also be using it as a way to get rid of your clingy habits and reshape your image so that your ex no longer views you as clingy. Self improvement is key if you don’t want to be looked at as clingy or needy anymore.
It’s funny, I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and noticed one of those overused motivational quotes that always seem to get shared. However, when you sit down and really peel back the layers you will find that, that quote has a flaw.
Well, I take offense to that because I personally believe that self improvement should be something every human being should strive for.
Now, I am not saying you should compromise your morals or do something your not comfortable with but I think it is completely ok to want to be a better version of yourself. Since this is a page dedicated to eliminating neediness lets focus on how you can improve yourself if your neediness is tied directly to your own insecurities. For example, we often get overly jealous because we are afraid our significant other might cheat on us. I mean, you can try to turn your feelings off as much as possible but in the end we are all human beings and not robots. So, what I would like to teach you is the method I try to employ when dealing with my own personal insecurities. I would have to say that without a doubt the biggest insecurity I have when it comes to relationships would be the fear of being cheated on.
The very next day I found out that she started dating another guy, someone who she had been pursuing since I started pursuing her. While she didn’t cheat on me it was my first experience with deception and I did not like how it felt. As I gained more experience in dealing with the opposite sex I learned more and more about how women could sometimes use deception to get away with things. Unfortunately, this site doesn’t help that insecurity at all when I come face to face with infidelity on a daily basis.
However, I figured out an excellent way to deal with this insecurity so it doesn’t make me exhibit clingy behavior. You see, the fear of infidelity can sometimes cause you to get jealous over unnecessary things. Whats even better is that I am using my insecurity to force me to set that type of high standard.
You see, as long as I keep that standard so far out of reach for other men I have nothing to worry about because my significant other would literally have to be an idiot to stray. However, as you fell deeper into the relationship you slowly but surely started losing your hobbies.
Thought 1- It’s sweet that you can fall so deeply in love with someone that their passions become yours. Thought 2- It’s dangerous to fall so deeply in love that you lose yourself in that person.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
Should I let him know I noticed that I had been doing less the last months we were together and that now I have plenty of activities again? After than we had lots of arguments and I felt so awful I kept on calling and texting to the point he would block me on and off. At the end we were meeting up after not seeing eachother for a few weeks, and then he cancelled last minute to go see his ex as the pet they got together was sick.. Since then I’ve been persistently trying to change his mind, over texted and phoned him etc. I decided to ask for more date time, since the idea of long term seemed ludicrous at this point.
Me and my boyfriend were not together for that long, about 4 months ish, and I didn’t really realize but I was clingy.
I had to go away to Wales for my Gold D of E and I thought that just in case we were to full on, it would make him miss me.
You can try again, since he really has work that day, you really didn’t get rejected.
Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
This page, while amazingly detailed, won’t have every single step that you will need to successfully get him back.


I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned.
The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration. They love the newness of a relationship, want respect and like to see significant interest coming from females. I feel for you but don’t worry we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things.
This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did.
Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship. However, one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is that there are certain women (not you) that don’t have legitimate reasons for wanting to get back together with their boyfriends.
The fact of the matter is that you can be perfectly fine without this person if you are citing any of these. Remember how you are going to implement the no contact rule for a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman! I know it may be uncomfortable to talk about but in this case you need to suck it up and get the proper treatment if you don’t want them.
One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Ok, basically if there was anything fun that you used to do (tennis, golf, puzzles, collecting, hiking, photography, music) renew it. Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun. Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun? I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you. The last thing you want to be is perceived as creepy or stalkerish and writing a letter the wrong way can definitely hurt you. Well, it just so happens I have come up with the ultimate game plan for getting your ex back. Controlling the conversation is key that means that you should always be the one who brings the conversation to a close, YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL.
Typically you want your ex to only think about the most positive experiences during your relationship. Don’t expect him to be receptive of your messages right off the bat, it may take a while. DO NOT SPAM YOUR EX WITH TEXTS… if he doesn’t respond to your first one just wait a couple of days and try again. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. They are either extremely excited by the prospect of moving forward with things and they can sense that you are trying to move things along but this also makes them extremely nervous.
You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past.
I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date. This tactic is no different and can definitely earn you some huge brownie points if you remind him about something he forgot. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. We will promote self-sufficiency, social well-being and assistance programs to low income, disadvantaged individuals and families.
Four factors are primarily responsible for homelessness: lack of affordable housing, lack of affordable health care, low incomes, and the lack of comprehensive services. I promise you're gonna miss me being there, putting up with you, refusing to give up on you.
The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out.
I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book.
When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date.
So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again. I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up.
She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it.
I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think.
It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having. Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from. The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that.
And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him. Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods.
Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make. When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what.
This fact was evidenced when I opened up my Facebook Page one afternoon and saw this meme posted by one of my subscribers,Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Essentially, what I am shooting for here is a way to wipe your slate clean with your ex so that you can give yourself the best shot of getting him back. In this section I am going to talk a little about that but I will also be giving you the low down on all the negatives that go along with being clingy and needy. In fact, your jealousy got so bad that at one point you literally forbade me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex.
It is rare to find someone who will explain why men react badly to clingy behavior but I am going to because I am a man and I know how I would react if someone got overly needy. They want a serious relationship with a woman who is confident enough to know that she actively chose to be with a guy.
As our relationship wears on I begin to notice that you get jealous any time I mention another girl. In fact, if you ever catch me texting another girl throughout our relationship you threaten to break up with me.
In some cases it is so extreme that you can’t even let them leave a room without you going by their side. I remember he once told me that when he was over at her house she left the room without him.
We need time to recharge sometimes before we can consume everything you want us to consume.
If you feel the need to accompany him everywhere he goes then that is a form of shadowing and he isn’t going to appreciate it.
Lately, in an effort to change this I have been reading up a lot about the most successful relationships so I can get some positivity back in my life which in turn will help me give out better advice.
Whenever I am in a relationship with someone I don’t let anyone threaten that relationship. I feel this is an extremely rare quality in men now-a-days and it also says a lot about my character. Well, below you will find a graphic that i put together that will teach you how to overcome his reservations about taking you back because of your clingy nature. However, once the relationship has already commenced then the women take over from there and do everything in their power to keep the relationship going.
In other words, they grow lazy and spoiled and get used to women doing everything for them. Well, I am of the mind that giving your ex space (after you have been clingy) is the smartest thing you can do.
Of course, when you shower a man with constant attention that attention is going to lose some of its value over time because he is going to get used to it.
The no contact rule is perfect for giving your ex boyfriend time to cool down which in turn is going to increase your chances to seem less clingy and also get him back.
How about the fact that a lot of women don’t believe they are good enough for their boyfriends so they shower them with too much attention which can be viewed as clingy. In fact, I became so frightened of being deceived that I started plotting out worse case scenarios in my head and trying to figure out if I would be able to survive if it ever occurred to me.
You see, it has the ability to make you a little paranoid and that can be extremely unhealthy. This means that for me I can sometimes get touchy when other men are introduced into the equation around my relationship. It’s not ok to just stop something that you love (your hobbies) to make room for all of your boyfriends or husbands hobbies. He told me he had decided to move away in a years time and something flipped in me and I kept demanding we sit and work out what we were going to do.
He’d been really aloof after that even though we carried on and tried to get past it. We had actually went out a few times and have known each other for about 9 months through a group we are both involved with.
We used to talk on the phone most days (he usually called me), we texted every day but only a little bit and i saw him about 3 times a week for a couple of hours. It seemed fine, i couldnt text very much or call at all and he kept telling me he loved and missed me when i did hear from him. The keyword there being SIGNIFICANTLY and before you get all argumentative I have seen the tactics outlined on this page work time and time again. It is such a complicated process that even the 10,000 words on this page can’t cover everything you need to know. Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you.
Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex gave you for the break up is really why they broke up with you. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you. The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. I would say think very carefully if this person is worth getting in a relationship with again. Make sure that you are very serious about wanting to get back with this person before you keep reading. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself! Honestly, I am getting excited here because this is where you start taking the first steps of getting your ex boyfriend back. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you.
This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally.
Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend.
Don’t worry though because I am going to go through every single step in a very-in depth manner. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined.
How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions.
If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold.
Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Some of you may not agree with this but everywhere I researched said that using your ex boyfriends jealousy to your advantage is one of the most powerful things you can do. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people.
One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile.
Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way.
The obvious advantage to this is that he has time to clear his schedule and make time for you ;). To provide resources, aid and comfort to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for.
Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation.
You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women.
I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it.
Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read.
Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for.
And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before.
I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls.
So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method.
Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean.
So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear.
So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you.
Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation. But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people. It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that. I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode. Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting. But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back. It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away. So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things. I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it.
You see, as a man I can tell you that, as weird as this is going to sound, I like a woman to be a little clingy or needy. On top of that you would literally get angry if I wouldn’t respond immediately to your texts.
However, if you have become so clingy or controlling that you literally have to go with them from room to room then that is a big issue. So, when you think back to you and your exes fights what was it about you that he was complaining about that could be classified as clingy. As a result, when a breakup occurs they almost expect that YOU are going to be the one that contacts them first begging for a second chance. So, rather than getting overly jealous I am always telling myself that I am setting such a high standard that no other man can compare.
We spent about a month to five weeks talking, seeing each other on a number of occasions for dates and just hanging out, and I felt there was really something there between us that could have potentially turned into something later down the line. We were on a long distance relationship since I moved to an other country to study there 2 years ago.
I got angry at that and ended up blocking him to stop myself responding and making it worse.
So, I have been talking to this guy and found myself in text gnat mode, which I think irritated him but since we are just talking how long to I follow NC? He seemed perfectly happy, and i was very happy too but sometimes people warned us that we would burn out if we talked too much. A couple days later I texted him again and he responded pretty a lot and we chatted pretty pleasantly… couple days later, I texted again and now he has gone cold again with no response.
The last 2 months he started to get distant from me, I confronted him about his distance to which he said “I have a lot going on. It isn’t necessarily a fast process but there is proof out there to back up the claims being made. I have been running this site for quite some time and get an incredible amount of emails and comments every single day. This may sound a bit mean but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
Personally, cheating to me is a big no no and I don’t think I could forgive that so easily. Careful though, don’t let them talk you into calling him before the no contact period is up. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative. This just means you misread the situation and you moved a little to fast to start bringing up your relationship. The obvious disadvantage is that you are laying a lot of your cards on the table and rejection will certainly hurt your feelings. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. The key is to just do something that the two of you will both enjoy where you can have fun and talk.
Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you.
I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him. So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast.
I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.


Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue. And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words.
About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps.
A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used. You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature.
There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back. But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want? It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back.
Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory. I liked that you wanted to be around me all the time and I also liked that you texted me a lot.
He started becoming more distant last week, and when I asked him about it, he said that I was too intense, he didn’t like it, I stressed him out, and he felt only a friendship was possible at that point. He didn’t give any reason why he stopped loving me but I noticed I had given up my hobbies and friends during the last year while he came to live 4 months with me.
And also continue to strive to be the ungettable girl by continuing your activities to improve yourself? However, on the day we were supposed to be meeting he changed his mind and didnt contact me all day.
How after so much time together do you just invite someone over that quickly while still leading someone on? Each person wants me to give them a detailed step by step plan that they can follow to get their ex back. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account.
A lot of times women make the mistake of picking up right where they left off whenever they do get their ex back.
The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. So, from this point on I am just going to be focusing on that method and the best practices using it.
So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys?
More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up.
Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.
So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it.
At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there. So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do. Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me. It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day.
The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back.
So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of. I know I displayed all of the signs in the article, but that didn’t become clear to me until it was too late. He gave me a lot of attention for two months but then couldn’t do it anymore because it was never enough and wanted to break up. The fact of the matter is that it is such a complex process that I really can’t give you everything you need in a post, email, comment or Facebook chat. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through.
The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.
Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations.
I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back.
You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again.
So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear.
You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship. He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal.
I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule.
There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back. So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back. So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days. Though he doesn’t text or call much, whenever he meets me he was very affectionate and caring. I tried calling and facebooking him but he didn’t answer so i got annoyed and acted stupidly clingy.
He said he felt really tense around me and wasn’t sure if we were compatible because I need more attention than he can give. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.
Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.
The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much. Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you.
So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship.
I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs. Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud. They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new. So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule.
In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen.
So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now.
I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question. When i did hear from him on the phone it lead to an argument and i wasnt very nice to him which i deeply regret. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing.
To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you.
We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work.
You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you. So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today.
My questions are, is there a possibility to redeem myself and get another shot with him now that I understand what I did wrong and how to fix it? He then started being not very nice back and told me that while i was away he decided that our relationship had burnt out, we had moved too fast, it was too much etc.
When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have.
And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule. This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up. Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space. This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating. One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer.
So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though.
And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis.
So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013.
But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on. I dint get upset or beg him i just left it like that, andi said we cant stay friends which upset him. Well two weeks ago, (after having been on good terms) I found out that he had a girl over to his house two weeks after we broke up and had created a bunch of online dating profiles. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back.
The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you.
He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman. So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like.
So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it. Our friends said that he hasnt thought this through, and without him knowing theyve talked to me they tried to change his mind. We also slept together two weeks after we broke up, and since we were best friends and still on good terms at that point we talked about our dating life. We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well.
I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about.
You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. He told me he wasn’t seeing anyone, looking for anyone, just needed to be alone, etc. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails.
However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home. He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature. However, my friends talked me into phoning him after only 2 days and he didnt pick up but i worried that i shouldnt have called in the first place coz now i look even clingier. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done?
So to find out two weeks ago that he had lied to my face, told me he was still in love me, and hidde that he had a woman over to his house after we had just broken up (we’d been together for 5 years!), i freaked out. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys.
Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose.
I called him and confronted him about the dating apps because while I know we aren’t together, I felt incredibly disrespected, especially after being together so long. So since I was back, I texted him a couple of times asking if we could meet and complained to him for ignoring me. I was just hurt because it seemed so soon and to have just told me within that week he was still in love with me and still wanted to try, I freaked out. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. He didn’t meet me and then after a month finally after a lot of complaints, he met me. It was later that evening I found out through a mutual friend about the woman coming to his house weeks prior to that and finding out he had lied to my face and basically lead me on. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that. I cried, and I asked how can he not talk or text me for days continuously and that I am not expecting him to talk to me or text me everyday. HE will be online in dating apps and fb and when I asked about that, he said that is just time pass. I basically told him he was a lying piece of crap, told him I knew everything that he had hid from me, and that he had lost me (in a nutshell). That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule. The next day I called him and he didn’t pick as usual, when I called him from an unknown number he picked. I knew we would probably date at some point but it seemed so soon, and to hide it while still trying to keep the door open with me, I snapped. I got so furious and I texted him saying I don’t feel good when he tries to run away. It’s been two weeks, and I have stuck to no contact now because it seems there is nothing left. I texted again saying this relation isn’t going anywhere and I am gonna end this if this is how he is planning to continue.
I honestly expected him to say that he would be fine in some time and we can work things out.
When I asked if he really meant it eh said, he cant do this as he has too many things to worry about. I tried to tal to him and he said he doesn’t wanna talk and that he is tired of all these drama and that he wants time to be alone and be with himself.
I called him multiple times texted him pleading not to leave me, which would have annoyed him even more seeing my multiple texts. Finally I sent him a sorry text saying how I realize I was needy and clingy and that I will give him his time to be with himself and things like that.



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Category: Getting Ex Girlfriend Back



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