How to get an ex back after two years

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Essentially I try to take an outsiders view and look at Ex Boyfriend Recovery’s overall weaknesses.
More specifically, how to make an ex boyfriend answer the phone and what to do once you are talking to him. If you are an avid reader of this site then you know that I am not a huge fan of calling an ex boyfriend right off the bat.
Before I really dive in to the phone call stuff there is something I need to explain to you. I want you to stop for a moment and really think about how many decisions you made based on emotions today.
So, the seemingly innocent decision to get in my car and drive to school can be traced all the way back to an emotion that I want to feel.
While I realize a first grader could figure this out I would still like to take a moment to define what is considered a good feeling vs a bad one.
The thing that I find most interesting about good feelings is the fact that we all tend to gravitate towards them. The whole point I am trying to make here is that no matter what we will always be drawn to things that make us feel good.
Above I talked about how both men and women tend to gravitate to things that make them feel good. Anyways, the feeling I felt after the verbal lashing from those football players shaped my perception of the weight room in high school.
When you are dealing with an ex boyfriend the task can seem impossible but I assure you that it’s not. Remember above when I was talking about all that “good feeling, bad feeling” stuff?
As long as you can find a way to shape his perception and have more pros than cons then you have a really good shot at talking to him on the phone. That all depends on your ability to understand that calling an ex right off the bat is NOT a good idea. In fact, when I first started this site I used to believe that as long as you could think logically and push the right buttons you could make an ex boyfriend call you and eventually get him back. It was only through interacting with you and seeing different situations that I realized that I was wrong.
You see, you need to find a perfect balance between logical thinking and emotional output if you want an ex boyfriend to call you or to pick up the phone when you call. Not only does it have advantages for making an ex miss you but it allows you enough time to get in the logical mindset that you need to get an ex boyfriend to call you. A few sections ago I talked about a major concept that ties directly into making an ex boyfriend call you. Well, one of the main questions you were probably wondering was how you can get rid of some of the cons.
Now, before I talk to you about what you need to do specifically to get him to call I would like to take a look at the reasons why he WON’T call you. Anyways, after talking with me she was feeling pretty down about her chances and then she said something that I found fascinating. I remember when I was first trying to think of a word to describe how annoying it is to get text after text from someone you don’t want to hear from.
Seriously, I remember when I was a teenager walking with a group on a mountain trail and gnats started buzzing around everyone’s heads.
We have already established that an ex boyfriend is likely to run away from things that will give him bad feelings. In this (made up) scenario your ex boyfriend now views you calling him as a con on the pros vs cons list? Lets switch gears here and focus on those women who are trying to call their ex boyfriends. First off, there is a specific way that you have to call your ex boyfriend to ensure maximum success.
It’s funny, out of all these mistakes this is the one I think I feel I have the most insight into because in a way I live it every single day.
Your ex boyfriend may find it very annoying if you were to force him to do something that he doesn’t want to do. Right off the bat I will tell you that I sense the person who is saying it is extremely desperate.
Any time anyone ever texts this to me I start freaking out and wracking my brain with everything that could have possibly gone wrong to cause the emergency.
Well, when it comes to relationships men don’t negotiate with women who give them ultimatums.
Funnily enough, you would probably do what I wanted so you could get your phone back but you would always hold the fact that I gave you an ultimatum against me. This is the part where I am going to give you in-depth instructions on how you can make an ex boyfriend potentially call you or pick up your calls. I am assuming that getting an ex boyfriend to call you is just one little aspect of your overall goal which is probably to get him back. All of these concepts are going to tie into a deeper gameplan with one goal in mind, to make your ex want you so bad that he calls you. For one, it is really important for you to obtain that logical mindset that I keep talking about. What I would like to do now is go into the specifics of the gameplan so you have a really good idea of what to do to make your ex boyfriend call you. I love it when you meet someone new and you are literally on the edge of your seat anticipating their next text. There is something magical that happens when you actually build an emotional connection with the person you are texting. If you ever get to know me really well then you would know that I am the type of person that needs to get my beauty sleep. You see, at that time I was a senior in high school and I really wanted to see my girlfriend more than once a weekend. Seriously, if you were to walk into my room tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning and poured cold water on me I would still be sleeping. THAT is how you make him call you and you are going to do it through the least threatening way possible, through texting. A guide that is supposed to be about phone calls and we are going to spend a huge chunk talking about texting.
In other words, you are going to get your ex used to associating you with good feelings before you talk on the phone so that when you do things will go extremely well.
Below I have compiled a lot of text messages that you should use to get your ex to associate you to good feelings. If there is one thing I have learned about the women visiting my site throughout this past year it is that they want results fast.
If your ex does respond positively to the first texting example that will give you the ability to use another texting example on this page. Now, if your ex does NOT respond positively to the first texting example then you need to take a step back and realize that he isn’t ready to build an emotional connection yet. That means YOU have to have the willpower to cut the conversation off right when it is starting to get good. That will make him associate that good feeling with you since YOU were the one that gave it to him.
Another important thing that I would like to mention is that you shouldn’t continue the conversation too much longer after you send this initial text. Because your ex is likely going to fish for more compliments and you want to leave him wanting more.
I love receiving messages from a girl that I am interested in and I am going to guess that your ex is the same way. Another great message I received was a girl walking down a hotel hall just talking about what she did all day. One of the best video messages I received was a girl masterfully flirting by commenting on something I said. Do you remember when you read that get your ex boyfriend to call you guide on your phone or computer?
This text message is all about making your ex boyfriend remember a good time the two of you had together. Lets move on and talk about the two types of phone calls you really want to receive or make!
I would like to now turn our attention to the real reason this guide was created, phone calls. But really at the end of the day the main goal here is to get on the phone with your ex boyfriend so you can work on getting him back.
More specifically, have you ever gotten a phone call out of the blue from a guy you had feelings for? Of course, if this type of phone call is done correctly it can be a very powerful way to get your ex boyfriend on the phone. Leading Phone Call- A type of phone call where you lead him or warn him that you are going to call. Up until this point we have been talking strictly about how to get an ex to call you (or to pick up your calls) but one thing I haven’t gone into is what you are supposed to do once you get them on the phone.
This is going to be the final section of the guide and arguably the most important one so make sure that you are paying attention.
I have thought a lot about how to structure this category and I decided to start with two general ideas. I have talked on the phone with a lot of people in my life so this is really something that I consider myself to be an expert on.
Of course, in order to control someone you have to really get them hooked into your conversation first. I have never met any of these celebrities in real life and yet somehow I am fascinated by them. Of course, you don’t have to tell a Hugh Jackmanesque story to hook your ex into the conversation.
The Afterthought Effect- The emotional feeling your ex boyfriend is feeling towards you after he hangs up the phone from your phone call.
This would be considered to be a negative AE and something that you need to avoid at all costs. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. A week or so later he calls to congratulate me on my new job, we chatted he smiled and laughed, I smiled and laughed. Before I really get started I want to mention that while this guide is probably one of the most in-depth ones ever created about long distance relationships it pails in comparison to my systems, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and The Texting Bible. In other words, if you want even more personalized and in-depth information I recommend checking those out. Long Distance Relationships- A specific type of relationship where the couple is separated by a considerable amount of distance. Now, lets talk a little about the different kinds of long distance relationships that currently exist.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
This is another one of those stories I hear way too often when it comes to long distance relationships. We have already established that successful couples are always communicating with each other via a phone. Actually, the first time I heard about Skype was from a buddy of mine who was dating a girl that had left for college across the country.
While things like Skype and FaceTime are fantastic tools for maintaining a technological closeness with your significant other nothing can beat actually seeing them in person. This point kind of goes hand in hand with the one above, in order to see your significant other someone in the relationship has to be willing to shell out the $’s. This may be a little controversial but this is my firm belief, no relationship can survive without sex.
So, that leaves you in a really bad spot when you first embark on a long distance relationship.
My friend (who I have mentioned a couple of times already on this page already) is one of the few people I know who has made a long distance relationship work. I wanted to put this section on this page for one simple reason, I want YOU to know if you are cut out for a long distance relationship. What I am about to say is really important so I want to make sure that you are listening because I am about to give you the key to knowing if a LDR with your ex boyfriend could possibly work if you get back together. While you are figuring out that little nugget of knowledge I gave you in the section above lets talk about some of the things you have working against you in a long distance relationship. Make no mistake about it, being able to see someone you care about in person is a distinct advantage that regular relationships have over long distance ones. Another negative of LDR’s is that you cannot attend your significant others birthday in person. Lets fast forward for a minute and pretend that you and your ex boyfriend got back together. I saved this one for last for a reason, because it is the number one killer of long distance relationships.
Adding insult to injury, it is likely you won’t have any clue because the two of you are separated by so much distance.
You clearly want him back but are completely unsure on how to approach things because there is a great distance separating you. You can implement a no contact rule and work on evolving while the dust settles from the breakup fallout. The No Contact Rule– A set period of time where you will not text, call, email, facebook, google plus, snap chat, skype or talk to your ex in any way shape or form.
Since that person emailed me wanting to know more about the guys perspective during the NC rule I figured everyone would so I wanted to put this section in. Day 30: You send out your first text to him and he literally runs around like a little girl filled with excitement. Usually, with a normal relationship I recommend that women evolve during the 30 days into basically the hottest version of themselves that ever existed. The fact that it could be months before you see your ex in person just means that you have more time to prepare, more time to knock his socks off when he sees you. I recommend picking up my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO for ideas on how you can change both mentally and physically during the NC period. You are about to find out that the rules are just a little bit different when it comes to contacting an ex in a long distance relationship. IF you do succeed in reuniting you have to find ways around the headwind I talked about above. Before I dive in to the first contact text message I just want to make you aware that the example texts found below aren’t going to be enough for you.
The first contact you have with your ex should be done via a text message like I recommend throughout my site.
Remember, your first contact text message has to be so intriguing that he will have no choice BUT to respond. The key with sending a first contact text message to a LDR isn’t to try to get him back.
If you are familiar with my monster 10k word post on how to get your ex boyfriend back then you should be familiar with this text message. Now, I do feel it is important to point out that you can’t use any sexual memories or anything of that nature yet. Of course, you do have a small problem since you were in a long distance relationship with this person. As far as using jealousy directly with your ex via a text message the key here is to be subtle. I don’t care what she looks like, as long as I am getting compliments I am doing things right.
Part of the reason that I made you jump through all those texting hoops in the previous section (first contact, meme, etc) was to kind of butter your ex up for this type of a text message.
If you were in a long distance relationship then I am sure you are pretty aware of what Skype and FaceTime are. Alright, you are going to make a phone call to your ex and see if you can set up a date where you two can see each other. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago but we gave last week a chance but we just ended up yelling at each other.
Planning to do NC but honestly it would be hard for the both of us because we talk everyday….
He relocated to a new country 1 month ago and was struggling to cope with the new language and new job and he started to create distance between us and unknowingly I was trying to overcompensate that.
I reacted in a defensive manner and sometimes I would repeat my point so that there would be no further misunderstandings.
He broke up with me 4 days ago – 1) He admitted he was selfish but he had no room for a relationship at the moment. I texted him later that I realized there was no chance for reconciliation and I apologised and I wished he would be happy.
Well, if you step back and think about it getting another human being to actively pursue you romantically is not a simple feat. If you get your ex boyfriend to start chasing you does that mean you will eventually get him back?
For now, I want to invite you to check out what the E-Book covers before you continue reading this guide.
The first and most important lesson I can teach you about getting an ex boyfriend to chase you has to do with logical thinking. One thing I have come to learn about women is that they tend to be a little more relationship oriented than men. Now, I will admit that I can’t speak for every single guy out there but what I am about to say holds true for almost every male I have ever known in my live. Now, I do want to clarify and say that there was NO alcohol that this girl had drank so all of this was just a part of how she was acting. My feelings actually weren’t hurt when all this emotional craziness was happening from her. I turned to my buddy to see what he thought of the idea and the second I saw his face I knew… I knew I was going to have to endure more of this craziness at the mall.
When we arrived at the mall I did my best to distance myself from the overemotional blonde that I had spoken to at the dinner.
Of course, the brunette that I was talking to was grabbing a few scarfs (it was winter) and trying them on. As a joke she thought it would be fun to YELL at the top of her lungs “HE’S STEALING THIS SCARF!!! Mall security ended up coming to talk to us and I had to explain to them that she was joking. Now that you have a better idea of how being too emotional can work against you lets apply that knowledge to your ex. Probably THE biggest mistake that I see from women who have bough Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO is that when the time finally does come to initiate contact with their ex they are not thinking about things logically. Believe me I understand how hard it is to remove emotion from the equation when you are dealing with someone you care about beyond belief.
Removing emotion from the equation will be the single biggest challenge you will face when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend to chase you again.
However, if you are able to talk to an ex boyfriend without emotion then you are going to make great strides in your attempt to get him to chase you. Relationships are usually based on an emotional connection that you establish with another human being. So, when you turn off your emotions in order to think logically about a situation how can you possibly re-attract someone? After all, it is their emotional connection or feeling towards you that will cause them to chase you and in order to develop that connection with them you need to tap into your own emotions. You have decided that you want me back and you have worked really hard to remove emotion from the equation any time we communicate in text or in person.
I guess we should hit the rewind button and start at the beginning because in order to figure out how you can get him to chase you again you need to understand a few basic concepts. More often than not I have found that a lot of the women who come to this site screw things up by thinking with their hearts instead of their heads (again, are you seeing the connection to logical thinking?) After a break up please don’t fall into the trap of becoming a text gnat. Another thing that I want to point out is that in the example I provided above what set the text gnat off was not getting a response from the person that they were texting. A few hours into our first conversation I knew she was a text gnat but she was a new breed of text gnat. Ultimate Text Gnat- Someone who sends long emotional texts in bunches, has a high ratio of messages sent and a short response time. Let me give you a little background because the content within the message here is kind of an important deal.
Turns out, I was at a party hosted by my friend where we were going to watch the latest UFC fight at the time. All of the examples I provided from my real life experience technically cannot be applied to your situation. So, knowing this you are in a situation where at one point you had your boyfriend right where you wanted him, chasing you. I have alluded to this in a lot of the previous pages on this site but I have never really taken the time to go in-depth, until now.
So, when it comes to getting an ex to chase you again you can’t do what you did before for a couple of reasons.
Getting an ex boyfriend to chase you again will require patience, strategy and a bit of luck.
I know, I know it isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world to talk about but it is an important thing to grasp.
When you love someone so completely and that person leaves you it is like they take a part of you and you will do anything to get that part back.
The only problem is that being emotional is usually the OPPOSITE way to get that part back. One of the most interesting things about running a site that helps women is the fact that I meet a lot of people. Women who are older tend to be more patient because they grew up in a time where they had to be patient. So, I urge you to go against the grain and actually complete your NC period without any slip ups! The second form of patience we need to talk about today is the kind that you need to have when you are IN contact with your ex. Being in no contact, like I talked about above, means you are currently in the no contact period with your ex boyfriend.
Obviously, this section is going to focus on the block of time that you are IN contact with your ex.
I would like to focus specifically on the biggest problem I see from women who are currently in contact with their exes, trying to force things. Lets say that you actually completed a 30 day no contact period without any slip ups and you are now in contact with your ex.
Quality block texting is probably the single most important tactic you can use when you text ANYONE (not just your ex) to get them to chase you. Well, like anything this important it can be a little complicated to explain all at once so I have found that the very best way to make it understandable for you is to divide it up into two categories. The TV episode theory is the basis behind QBT (quality block texting) which is something I really preach in The Bible. End each episode on a cliffhanger with the intent of making the audience tune in again next week. You see, throughout this site, if you are an avid reader, you will notice that every once in a while I mention the importance of leaving your ex wanting more.
Now, imagine if you could use this type of feeling to get your ex chasing you, constantly wanting more.
In my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, I talk a lot about how you should text your ex boyfriend.
When you normally text someone (with the intent of having a conversation) you usually do so until one of you grows bored and stops talking to eachother.
What I mean by that is what if I told you to divide up that straight line into certain time blocks where you focus on only QUALITY conversation instead of quantity? Whenever I talk to someone that I am interested in I always cut my conversations with them prematurely. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 16 months (We celebrated every precious months!) At the beginning of our relationship, my friends warned me about his infamous dating history. Recently, I got in a big bank loans for my father sake, and had to work terribly hard to get the money.
Days later I asked him out for a proper answer (second mistake?), I was difficult because he didn’t want to face me, but he came.
I pampered he so well and we were very compatible in sex, so I thought I’m still somewhere in his mind. So all of that makes me keep my hope… Since recently I in a bad mood and usually make him tired and stress like me, what if that’s just his temporary feeling for that girl? Yesterday I found out that he is now officially dating the new girl, after the break up just 2 weeks!!! We were a good team, helped lots of people (yes, I am proud of us) and had some laugh together. I have seen women try everything there is to try (one woman actually did a love spell.) I have seen women do everything right and fail.
Knowing when to let go is a tough thing to decipher because often times you are so close to your own situation that you are blind to the truth.
Lately I have gotten a lot of women requesting a guide on how you should know when it is time to stop trying to get your ex boyfriend back.
The funny part about this is that this is the first guide in the history of this site that I have put together without research. Heck, I believe this so much I wrote a book trying to teach people the correct way to win an ex back. Then I see no reason for why you shouldn’t give it your all in trying to get him back. Sure, you may have tried to get your ex back but can you honestly say that you did the best you could? Look, I realize that it is weird to dedicate so much time on getting your ex back on a page about knowing when to give up BUT sometimes in order to know when to give up you have to try to get your ex boyfriend back. I am basically telling you that in order to know for sure if you have a shot at making this work again you have to try to get your ex boyfriend back. One thing that you are going to realize really fast is that things are never as simple as black and white when it comes to determining if you should give up on getting an ex back.
Most people believe that you should either try to get your ex back or you should just simply move on. A lot of what I talk about in this section of the guide is going to tie directly into the methods of getting an ex back.
Well, I am going to list (one by one) the signs that an ex boyfriend might exhibit that will give you an indication on if you should give up or not.
Obviously the text message should be really good and I give plenty examples on how to compose one throughout this website and even in my E-Book.
Sure, it can sometimes be normal for an ex boyfriend to miss a text or two from you but if he literally cuts you out of his life by not responding to anything you send..
Of course, the thing that you are probably wondering is what can you do to get him to contact you again?
Again, I want to reiterate it is not a good sign if he ignores you every time when you are reaching out.. This is another one of those situations where we are going to be focusing on what happens AFTER the no contact rule is successfully completed. However, what if an ex boyfriend of yours responded but only responded to you in a negative manner? Perhaps it could be that he is just taking his frustrations out on you because of his own inability to hold together your relationship. However, if I were a betting men I would say that it all comes down to the feeling he gets when he thinks back to your relationship. It shouldn’t exactly be a shock that a lot of the time the better your relationship with your ex was the better the shot you have of getting him back. However, I know that it is a normal part of the relationship process so you should come to expect them. In the last section we briefly discussed how men can sometimes have negative responses based on the bad feelings they had in their previous relationships. One thing that I see happen far too often is that when a no contact rule is completed a couple can sometimes pick up right where they left off with the fighting. As I said at the beginning of this section, fighting is a natural thing for relationships but what we are talking about here is an excess of fighting.
There is no doubt in my mind that YOU are capable of trying to create a better relationship but you are only one side of the equation. The thing you really have to keep in mind when you deal with a man who says something like this is that you have to figure out if he means it or not. The thing that you have to remember is that if these words are muttered to you by an ex you need to determine if he means them or not. I can’t tell you how many times I have muttered this phrase throughout my life and throughout this site. If you ever want to see what a person TRULY wants (their words aside) you need to look at their actions.
However, when it came down to crunch time and advancing the relationship forward she would always cancel on me. Now, when you read the two (obviously fake) simulations of the relationships what did you notice? Well, for starters the first example seemed a lot healthier and pleasant whereas the second example seemed really stressful and unhealthy.
The worse your relationship was with your ex boyfriend the more fallout you are going to have following you around after the breakup. For example, if your previous relationship was pretty good then you can expect a positive fallout to follow you around after the breakup.
Another thing that a lot of people tend to forget is the fact that your breakup can be a huge fallout indicator.
For a while at least the negative connotation of a bad breakup will always be in the back of an ex boyfriends mind. Again, this is another one of those sections that isn’t really resistance you are getting from your ex boyfriend.
What does this any of this have to do with knowing if you should give up on your ex boyfriend?
When you take a step back and look at your relationship with your ex boyfriend do you think any of the effort is worth it? Eventually when you do meet that someone who is twice as amazing as your ex was your world gets rocked all over again and you start to gain perspective.
How are you supposed to take a step back and determine if a relationship is worth fighting for with your ex boyfriend? If you just want him back to make the pain go away then you are being a coward and taking the easy way out.
Me and my boyfriend has been in a relationship for 2 years 2 months (First 1 year under same roof, 1 year 2 months LDR) until we broke up yesterday. I think it was unfair of him because whenever he told me not to go out with other men, I obliged.
I didn’t see my comment published but I saw comments from others get published, even when they were after me. Welcome to the ultimate guide to using text messages to get back together with your ex girlfriend. Naturally, I got curious to see if such a guide existed online right now and I was shocked to learn that one hadn’t been created yet. Look, I am going to get bold here and say that never before has a guide this in-depth been created (and given out for free on the internet) for men wanting to understand exactly what to text to their ex girlfriends.
With that guide not only will you gain more insight into what you should text your ex to get her back but it will show you everything that you need to do in order to win her back. Not to mention that it has over 250 example texts that you can use!Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
You can spam your ex girlfriend with text messages and leave her thinking that you are a psycho. You can send a bunch of really hateful messages to your ex girlfriend and hurt your chances of getting her back. So, explain to me your reasoning behind sending someone, who you desperately want back, really mean messages that could potentially drive them away?
In other words, the more your ex girlfriend associates bad feelings with you the less likely she will come back to you. Look, with this guide I am going to teach you to do something so much more powerful than begging. I am going to be teaching you how to influence your ex to take you back so she thinks it was her idea when the fact was that it was your influence that got her to get back with you.
The No Contact Rule- A set period of time where you don’t talk, text or call your girlfriend at all.
The advantage of using a no contact rule before you text your ex is the fact that you can kind of get her on the ropes a little bit.
For the next few hours she is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response except you are doing the 21 day NC which means a response won’t come. Of course, since you didn’t respond to her emotional message she is hurt and promises to never text you again for the rest of her life which she articulates to you in a text ?? . While this page is dedicated to text messages it is important to remember that the overall goal you are trying to achieve here is not to just learn how to text your ex girlfriend it’s to actually get her back. While it is not impossible to get your ex girlfriend back through text messages it is highly unlikely.
Getting an ex girlfriend back is probably not going to be done strictly through text messages. In my massive 12,000 word guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back I talk a lot about having a game plan. After the no contact rule you will use texts to build attraction which should eventually lead to a phone call where you will build attraction and by then you will have built up enough attraction to earn yourself a date.
While rebuilding attraction is essential for getting your ex girlfriend back it isn’t the main goal you are trying to accomplish here.
It just so happens that building attraction through texting is how you advance to the next level of the game plan. Again, you should really check out that massive guide I put together because it will explain things better than I can in the short amount of space I dedicated to it here. Before I can start getting into the tactics that you can use to help move the reconnection process along there are a few things I need to teach you about text messages. My point here is that word count and how interested a person is in what you have to say can have a direct correlation most of the time. It’s interesting to me that no one really ever talks about the importance of response time when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. In this section I am going to teach you everything that you will need to know about response time when it comes to using text messages. Now, before I really get started here I do want to say that not everything I say in this section will hold true to you. It is best to look at response time as a gauge of how interested the other party is in what you are saying (just like word count.) For example, in my book, I give an example where I was texting a girl and I responded to her texts every few hours. Sure, she may have texted her friends a lot but during the high point of your relationship you were probably priority number one to her. Don’t worry, that is what this entire guide is for and I will be giving you the step by step plan on texting her a little later.
There is a way in which you can do this through the use of a text message to get a quick response and ironically it all has to do with your own response time. Well, putting it into practice can be really tough because there are two battles that you are going to be fighting. What you will have successfully done if you pull this off is that you just made her realize how much she wants to hear from you and her response time should be quicker from that point on. You wait for what seems like an eternity (5 minutes) and you constantly check your phone waiting for that text message to hit but it never does. Essentially, if you are put in this position where you desperately want a text response you are left wanting more. You know, the part where I go on and on about how you desperately want a person to text you back but they won’t. No, I am afraid I am going to have to give credit to pretty much every girl that has ever rejected me because every single one has successfully been able to do this to me. If you end a texting conversation with your ex girlfriend and you successfully leave her wanting more here is what will happen. Second – When you do decide to message her again (either later in the day or the next day) she will respond very quickly to your text message.
As you can see there are a lot of advantages to ending a conversation where she wants more. Let me start off by saying that in order to leave your ex girlfriend wanting more she is going to have to be invested in a texting conversation.
Lets pretend that the string of text messages that have all three characteristics but are a bit negative (again, this is something you have to feel out.) Do you think you should end the conversation there? The four responses is something I covered in the how to get your ex girlfriend back guide pretty intensely. Well, since the four responses directly relates to texting it only makes sense that I talk about them again within this guide. Every single time you get a positive response to a text message you are slowly inching closer to your goal of getting your ex girlfriend back.
The challenge that you are going to face is that you are going to have to decipher if the message you got was a neutral response or just a fake neutral response. However, when you are starting a conversation and you get a neutral response then you need to pay attention because that means you probably shouldn’t engage her for a while.
If you are getting a response like that from your ex then you have some serious work to do. In my experience, negative responses (when dealing with exes) usually always revolve around how bad the breakup was. If there was a lot of yelling, name calling, things thrown and mental warfare from both sides then I think you had yourself a pretty bad breakup.
Don’t worry, you will text her eventually but it is going to have to be later down the road when her emotions have settled in a bit. What you really need to watch out for is the NR when you reach out to start a conversation.
Coincidentally that is what the next section is all about, the first text after no contact. Assuming you have followed my instructions (by implementing a no contact rule) the first type of communication you are going to have with your ex girlfriend after the no contact rule is going to be done through a text message. Generally speaking a text message will yield a higher response rate and also a phone call after a no contact rule may seem out of place. Hey, I am a huge fan of surprises but when it comes to this stuff surprises are never a good thing.
Oh, and in case you forgot the main goal of this entire guide is to use text messages so you can advance to a phone call or a date.
This leads us back to the first text message you send after the no contact rule has been completed. When it comes to first text messages your main goal is to get a positive response from your girlfriend.
In other words, your text message has to be so intriguing that she can’t not respond to it. Basically the way it works is that you say that a TV show that you and your girlfriend used to watch reminded you of her. That means you need to slip back into no contact for 7 days (EVEN if she gets back to you on day 5 of that no contact.) After the 7 days is up it is time to send something that should yield a response 95% of the time. Now, I don’t know about you but if someone texted this to me I would respond immediately fearing the worst. If your ex girlfriend receives this text then it will only be natural for her mind to be racing with possibilities.
However, if you really want my opinion I think you should end the conversation immediately. Rapport is something that you have to earn and you earn it with a slow ascent of text messages that build trust. The situation you find yourself in now is that a breakup occurred between you and your ex girlfriend and that can cause some awkwardness when it comes to texting. I want to give you a brief overview of what you should do to rebuild the rapport with your ex. You send your first initial text after the no contact rule and ended the conversation very quickly. Your next text message should be sent about 1-3 days after the first initial text message after no contact. After that conversion ends I want you to wait a day before you start up another conversation.
I want to take a moment and give you some examples of the most interesting type of texts I have come across. I am sure if you think hard enough you can think of some bizarre stories in your life to share.
Talking about your previous relationship with your ex girlfriend can be pretty tricky because it is bound to bring up old memories and not all of those old memories are going to be very good. I would first like to turn our attention to how you should approach talking to your girlfriend about your previous relationship. In fact, there is one particular exercise that I want you to take advantage of during your no contact period. Since we are specifically focusing on your ex here I want you to be prepared when your old relationship comes up. You know how successful musical artists have a “greatest hits collection” right? Rule 3: None of these memories can be about sex they have to be more about emotional connection type things.
You see, you should be talking about how cuddling made you feel and the specific things you liked about.
Yes, I get that there are going to be some guys that read this and think it is the lamest thing ever.
Ideally, what we hope happens is that you do such a good job texting that your ex girlfriend will want to talk to you on the phone naturally. One of the biggest concerns that most men have when they are about to call a woman is the fact that they are worried that she may be busy or preoccupied.
Well, what if I told you that I had discovered a way in which you can transition from a text message to a phone call seamlessly and have a super high success rate. When I was researching ideas on how to transition from texting to phone calls I came across this book that actually recommended that you call your ex during the day (when she could be potentially busy at work.) That is officially the dumbest idea ever. Assuming you want this phone call with your girlfriend to go well you want her to be alone in her room or something like that. Ok, now that you know when to set up a phone call with your ex girlfriend lets talk about how you actually set one up. I have always been of the mindset that you should give a girl a warning before you call her. Lets say that I am in your shoes and I send the text above to an ex girlfriend I am trying to get back.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
What if I told my ex who dumped me to never text me again, but I still want to get her back? We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career.
So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you.
That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this.
So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood.
Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice.
Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice.
So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you.
I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on. But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend.
So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you.
So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point.
My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that.
It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule.
So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will. Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts.
The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front.
If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally. Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule.
So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome.
And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament.
The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. I have often wondered if there was a method in which you can employ to regain your ex boyfriends trust. The majority of the women who visit this website have one goal, to get their ex boyfriend back. This particular guide is going to be focusing on one specific aspect of the entire boyfriend recovery process, trust. If you are looking for a more complete step by step method on how you can get your ex boyfriend back then you aren’t going to find it on this page. Check Out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? The real truth about men is that there will be some that will not trust you no matter what you say or do.
I guess the real question becomes what causes these men to not ever be able to forgive a woman and trust them again? Lets say that I was dating a girl and she cheated on me but she didn’t go as far as to sleep with another guy, she just ended up kissing him.


The fact that his girlfriend didn’t invite him to the party really upset him and made him mad. Luckily, she just wanted some time away from my buddy and her friend had invited her to the party.
Well, my buddy got so worked up over it that he crashed the party which in turn caused one of the greatest couple arguments of our time..
The main point here is that for the next few months my friend held this incident against her. Five years later and they are still together and this incident isn’t even mentioned anymore. So, while it may suck for a guy to hold something against you it is just a matter of expecting it to happen and enduring it, it won’t last forever.
It really is a sick practice but there will be some men that will react this way when they feel hurt. You see, whenever you do something that I don’t like I am going to bring your past mistakes up out of anger as a way to control you.
In this section we are going to be talking about all the ways in which a (now) ex boyfriend may have lost trust in you. I think the main point I want to make here is that there are literally thousands of different things that someone can do to make you lose trust in them. Now, before I start getting into the ways that you can butcher your exes trust there is a concept that I need to explain to you. It’s pretty much common sense that if you cheat on your boyfriend it is going to be a whole lot worse than telling a little lie to him. 2 = Regaining trust will be challenging but it can definitely happen if you put work into it.
If you reference the MPI scale above you would notice that this means that if you perform this type of trust mistake you are going to have a very hard time regaining your exes trust. It is going to make him uncomfortable and insecure every time you go out and are around other men.
I think that when you are dealing with an ex boyfriend anything from 2nd base or beyond is going to be considered a 5 on the MPI scale.
Just like with the section above an ex boyfriend is always going to have your cheating in the back of his mind so that is some headwind you are going to have to face here as well. Of course, I am the type of person that always tries to find the silver lining in tough situations.
While it is never good to cheat (that shatters everyone’s trust) if you cheated just by kissing another guy then you are going to be in a much better position. If you look at the human species purely from an evolutionary perspective you can learn some interesting things.
When you understand these principles it isn’t hard to figure out why men feel the need to cheat. We already know that one of the main reasons that men cheat is because they get horny but women often cheat for other reasons.
Hopefully that sheds some light on a subconscious level on why humans feel the need to cheat. Before I say anything about lying I just want to point out that I created an entire guide on lying here.
Every time you say something and want to be taken seriously you won’t be because your ex will doubt how honest you are being. So, I suppose the question becomes how can you make your ex boyfriend believe you when you talk to him about something serious? At the beginning of every new relationship I think that both the man and the woman are obsessed with eachother. Lately I have been wondering why we as humans feel the need to control people in relationships. The truth is that when it comes to relationships it is impossible to control your significant other.
The thing to remember about all of this is that it is very possible to gain your exes trust back. Of course, I do want to point out that there will be one difference in the things that I am going to be covering.
I wanted to start with this one because this is probably the hardest thing to come back from. Because in order to gain back his trust you are going to have to make sacrifices and these sacrifices are going to have to be made with no guarantees that you will succeed in making him trust you again.
Unfortunately, blind faith is something that very few people have but honestly it is the only way.
Now, if you had cheated on me (which caused a breakup) I can tell you that I would be checking up on you from time to time. Now, for someone trying to get their ex boyfriend back a little jealousy can be a good thing.
Don’t worry all this ignoring other men is going to pay off but you will have to wait a bit to see how. Some women believe that giving a man some space to work out his feelings is the best way to approach the situation. Well, I am a fan of apologizing if you did something wrong BUT I am a fan of doing it in the right way.
If you don’t know what the no contact rule is then I recommend you visit my guide on it. By cheating on your ex boyfriend you have shattered any fantasies that he has had of you thinking that you were the only one for him.
Everything I do has to be done with one goal in mind, to make him think that I am the only one for him. It would be a little weird if out of the blue you texted your ex boyfriend this big long apology about how you were wrong and how you feel horrible and blah blah blah. This is why I recommend doing a brief 15 day no contact rule so you can pre-prime your ex boyfriend.
Well, in order to get the best results with anything regarding trust you have to make sure your ex is in the right mindset to talk about it. I am going to give you an example of how I would compose this message but first there are a few things I want to note. Hopefully if you do this right it will get him thinking that you have turned over a new leaf and he can start taking the necessary steps to potentially start trusting you again.
If you lied to your ex boyfriend getting his trust back is going to be a lot easier than if you cheated on him. You see, women love it because they know when they look a man in the eye and he is telling the truth they can trust him and having that feeling of trust in someone is irreplaceable. This entire site is all about playing games to get your ex boyfriend back that’s just the way it is.
Lets say that you were to use a 30 day no contact rule after you break up with your ex boyfriend.
If you followed it like you were supposed to then you have had absolutely zero contact with your ex for 30 days straight.
In fact, one of the reasons I put so much time and effort into this site is that so someday I won’t be controlled by the 9 to 5 lifestyle that so many men my age seemed to get sucked into. Well, she was a bit of a flirt and after a certain amount of incidents occurred I had a lot of trouble trusting her with anything.
I am not like that anymore thankfully but the only reason why I am not is because I felt so ashamed of how I acted that I worked really hard to not be controlling anymore.
Controlling someone often leads to a fight and I am not talking about the type of fights where something gets accomplished. You can do all this work to change but if you can’t convince your ex boyfriend that you have, how is he going to trust you again?
I promise you that your ex boyfriend knows this so he is automatically expecting you to come back begging and be overemotional. Of course, the real question you are probably wondering is how do you let him know you are not controlling after the no contact period is up? This is a clever little text message that I talk about in my book that you can use to demonstrate two things. Basically what you are going to do is wait until you have established a conversation with your ex.
Trust is very important and it needs patience and courage on both sidesion building it up again.
Kidding aside, in building trust, you have to make up with your wrong doings and keep your word this time. I finally admitted all of that was a lie and then explained the truth but at that point my boyfriend was really mad.
My boyfriend of nearly 2 years and close friend for probably 5 years before dating, says he has been hurt very deeply by what I have done. I don’t know what to do besides pray about it, and keep working hard to show him I am not some God-awful liar.
It is through these weaknesses that I can learn more about how to improve the site as a whole for you. While I am sure this is an inappropriate example nothing can illustrate my point better than it.
Once that drug user uses that drug and gets the good feeling they don’t just stop there. This is especially true when it comes to relationships but before I go into that lets talk a little about bad feelings. The reason this is a major mistake is that right after a breakup there is no logical thinking.
However, there is one aspect of NC that I really haven’t ever gone into, the stabilization effect. Admittedly, after a breakup your cons are going to be a lot higher than your pros on your exes list. Doing that is essentially the same thing as poking a bear, eventually the bear is going to explode but if you wait until the bear calms down he is going to be much more receptive of you. Look, I am going to make this really simple for you, the key to getting any guy to call you is to give him a reason worth calling.
This particular woman really wanted to get her ex boyfriend back but there was just one problem, she made every mistake in the book. In fact, I have made so many mistakes in my own personal relationships that I sometimes wonder why my (now) ex significant others stayed with me as long as they did. Gosh that was so annoying because no matter how many times you swatted at the gnats they just kept coming back for more.
Unfortunately, the more you call or text when he doesn’t want you to the more likely it is that you are going to reinforce his decision of why you give him bad feelings. Every day I get women contacting me trying to force me to answer them and help them with their problem. That is essentially what an ex boyfriend would feel if the above statement was said to him. Before I get started I do just want to say that everything from this section on is going to be very important so make sure that you are paying attention. Also, the act of entering into a no contact period alone can sometimes cause an ex boyfriend to call you. However, at the same time you want an emotional mindset to bring out the good feelings that he associates with you.
In fact, there have been times where I anticipate a text message so much that I get angry when I don’t receive a message as fast as I want it to come. It’s almost like everyone starts out with a very logical brain but the more and more you build an emotional connection with someone your brain becomes more and more emotional and the most ironic part of it all is that we love it when it happens.
Instead, I want the phone call to be like old times, to help rebuild the emotional connection that you both used to cherish. If this is the situation you find yourself in DO NOT use the texting example in the same conversation you used the first example.
That is completely ok it just means that you need to go back into no contact period for a while and give him more time.
Yes, for the first time during this entire process you are going to talk about your feelings! Essentially, you are going to say something semi sweet, as I will demonstrate in the graphic below, but what you are really looking for here is to see if he says something sweet or semi sweet back.
It is through those text messages that you can tap into your ex boyfriends emotions and cause him to replace his bad feelings towards you with good ones.
But you also have to take into account the fact that most guys don’t call girls unless they like them in some shape or form. It’s important for you to realize that with this type of phone call we are flipping the script. However, if he makes up some excuse for why he can’t talk you then you need to hit the reset button and try again at a later date.
When I am interested in a girl there are two important things I do to keep them coming back for more.
That means that you are going to dictate where the conversation goes and how long it will last. I mean, you don’t really need to know what a LDR (long distance relationship) is right? In this type of relationship the two of you have never met on person, you have only ever met online.
If you are here it is most likely because you and your ex had a long distance relationship but you are now broken up. I mean, for god sakes there is an entire section of this website dedicated solely to texting. I remember him telling me that they skyped every single day and it had helped a lot to maintain the closeness that both of them were so vigorously craving. I have no statistics to back up the claim I am about to make but I think women can go without sex longer than men can. You see, in order to get your ex boyfriend back if there is a considerable amount of distance separating you right now it is important to discuss all of the things that you have to overcome.
Don’t get too down though because I am going to give you the tools to combat all of this headwind later in this article. Admittedly, it will be more effective if you and your ex were used to talking to each other every single day.
One of my visitors was reading through the site and found solace in a paragraph on one of the pages.
Remember, this isn’t a vacation and if you want him back you have to be willing to put int the work. That means, women in normal relationships have 30 days before they potentially could see their ex in person. If you are an avid reader of this site then you will find the next phrase I am about to say all too familiar. In this section I am going to give a pretty in-depth game plan that you should follow when talking to an ex who you were in a long distance relationship with.
With this text message you are really trying to get your ex boyfriend to remember some of the good memories you had together. Here is an unknown fact about this site, did you know that I actually get men contacting me? The key to pulling off a jealousy text isn’t to actually tell your ex that you are out with someone new, it is to plant the idea in their head and let their minds run wild with all kinds of assumptions. The reason this text is amazing at making an ex boyfriend jealous is that it is so subtle that your ex has to make all kinds of assumptions.
Personally speaking, I am one compliment from the opposite sex away from having a great day. Obviously, you are looking for another positive response from your long distance partner here.
If not, they are essentially video software you can download to your smartphone (or computer) that will let you talk to the person face to face electronically.
Since there is long distance involved one of you is going to have to agree to come see the other one.
A kind of condensed version of getting your ex boyfriend back if you are in a long distance relationship.
His ex girlfriend left him for another guy and was engaged, she just ended the engagement which I think is what is happening.
It is actually pretty common knowledge among a lot of the women (and even some men) who visit this site. Yet, if you type in a simple Google search and try to find something that actually can help you understand the process behind making a man chase you, you probably aren’t going to find anything that is worth your time to read. Granted, it is a very large part of the process but still, there is a lot more to recovering an ex than just getting him to chase you. So, if I talk to one of the women and find out that she can be a little too overemotional at times I would be less inclined to chase that woman.
I usually hate going on these type of deals but my buddy begged me so I threw caution to the wind and decided to go for his sake.
One of the blondes was constantly casting looks over in my direction and saying stuff that I think was supposed to impress me. Instead, I remember thinking that a girl that acts like this is going to be unstable to date so in my eyes she became very ugly. However, the Bro Code clearly states that you never leave a man behind so I sucked it up and decided to join the group excursion. Being able to talk to someone with logic instead of emotion gives you the ability to make smarter decisions and avoid common mistakes that I see every day here on the site. Using a logical mindset you should be able to identify certain factors or do certain things that can cause me to begin to re-develop an emotional connection. If you want someone to chase you that is how you have to view your interactions with that person. While there are times where a speedy response is required, in most cases I would say that a more measured response time is preferred. The text message example I used above is a vague account of what I remember from my conversation with the Facebook girl.
This girl was attractive (from her Facebook photos) if she hadn’t been a text gnat I may have very well taken her on a date without her even asking. After all, the main point of this article is to get your EX chasing you and not someone you just met. Too many times have I seen women make the mistake of immediately contacting their ex during a breakup only to fall in the text gnat trap I described above.
Not only does it give your ex a chance to miss you but it also gives you a chance to get your head together. It is the block of time after no contact where you are allowed to talk to your ex boyfriend. Following my advice in the E-Book or on the how to get your ex back page you have successfully opened up the conversation. The first thing I would do would obviously be the NC rule and everything else I talk about in the E-Book and in this site. Once I have done that I would build rapport with you and then end the conversation prematurely. It will end our conversation on a cliffhanger and open up a possibility of me contacting you later. So, when I don’t get a date with someone I like I end up thinking a lot about what I could have done better to improve my chances. Then, 2 of his ex-girl friends also shown up and told me about their terrible memories with him. We did everything together, we overcame hardship together (mostly his), we introduced each other to our families (as Asian, this somehow indicates a very serious and long term relationship). He used to ask me about our future, and if I wanted to marry him now or not (just 1 month before the break up, but back then I said not yet, and I extremely regret now).
I believe that girl may never take care of him as good as I do, and he is the type who loves being taken care of.
The time period between my texts and his texts (and vise versa) are at least 20 minutes, sometimes even 5 hours. The only way I can think of is by answering the next day, thus my time span would be pretty long. Around 3 weeks ago I found out he has been cheating on me when I was not around so I dumped him.
Do you just miss him but he didn’t change but even so you want to try if he will change? I usually spend a day or two looking online for other ideas to incorporate into my writing but I wasn’t able to find a guide covering this topic because it is one that very few people want to talk about. Stop what you are doing for a few moments and search through some of the other guides on this site and look at the comments. Then you should try everything you can (in the smartest way possible) to try to get them back if something happens that causes you to break up. Throughout the course of your attempt things aren’t going exactly as you planned so you give up.
You have to keep trying until you are absolutely sure that your attempt isn’t worth it anymore. You will notice that I talk about a lot of the signs that an ex boyfriend is no longer worth pursuing. What I would like to talk about is what happens after the no contact period and it is probably one of the most negative outcomes that can occure. After the initial 30 day period was up you decided to compose a text message to send to your ex boyfriend. Imagine for a moment that your relationship with your ex boyfriend was filled with nothing but negativity. The most successful couples are the ones that can navigate through the fights and take something positive from them. While their relationship was good in almost all the other areas they have one major problem, they fight a lot. Well, I don’t know about you but fighting can create some pretty bad feelings so not only can it lead to more negative responses (like we discussed above) but it can cause more fighting AFTER the breakup occurs.
Sometimes no matter how calm one party remains the chemisty and history between the couple will trump all logic and you will find yourself in an emotional fight.
It really doesn’t matter who broke up with who all that matters is the fact that we did indeed break up. Usually, if the words are muttered during a super emotional time you can disregard them because deep down he may not mean it. While those words may mean something what you really need to be looking at are his actions. One thing I have been noticing more and more is that I can almost predict which women have the best chances of getting an ex boyfriend back and it all has to do with the relationship they had with their ex. Just by knowing what you know about relationships which “fake couple” do you think has a better chance of getting back together? When I talk to women who get their exes back one common thread I see between the many successes is the fact that a lot of them had very good relationships with their ex boyfriend. In this case every time your ex boyfriend thinks back to your relationship instead of being filled with a bunch of bad feelings he is going to be filled with good feelings. Meaning that all we are interested in is finding out the latest information, the newest stuff if you will.
I actually have some experience with this phenomenon as I have been through a very bad breakup in my life.
In fact, out of everything that I have ever talked about on this website this concept in this section is the thing that many people fail to really see through.
Determining how to figure out if your relationship with your ex boyfriend is worth it is not a particularly easy process. We got back together 4 days later and he broke up with me another 3 years later, this time with reasons even he was unsure about until recently, after some soul searching I guess you could say. However, with that being said there is a flaw with this guide, that’s all that it covers. While knowing what to say to her via text messages is an important part of the process there is a lot more to winning her back then that. When you go through a breakup do you honestly think that at that moment you are thinking logically? However, you start bordering on the pathetic when you send your ex 20 text messages back to back to back. In other words, this is the go to guide for teaching you exactly what to say through text messages to start the overall process out. If you are consistently getting a one word text message response from her THEN you have a right to be worried.
Look, your ex girlfriend is a human being and human beings are notoriously hard to predict.
Since you dated this girl we can assume that at one point you were her top priority when it came to texting. Obviously if the breakup was really bad then she may not want to talk to you and you will have to earn the right to get those quick responses from her again.
The fastest way to get a quick response from a girl is to build up the anticipation through text messages so that she is constantly waiting for your response to her text. The first battle is going to be the most obvious one in that you have to get her connected in a conversation with you.
This is a concept that I want you to wrap your head around because it is so important when it comes to ending texting conversations with your ex girlfriend. In other words, if she is responding quickly with rather long messages it still might not mean she is emotionally engaged in the conversation. Generally, if you are responding emotionally to her messages then she is probably responding emotionally to yours. Once you find it then that is when you should end the conversation on a high note because that is how you leave someone wanting more.
Of course, I am going to be going a lot more in-depth on them and I will also teach you exactly what you are supposed to do when you get each response. You send a text message to your ex girlfriend and instead of responding positively she responds in a neutral type of way. The mistake I see most men making is the fact that they are unable to remain classy when they get a negative response. It basically means that you send a text message and your ex girlfriend doesn’t respond to it. Remember, this is not meant to be a process where you accomplish everything you want to accomplish in a matter of hours.
Now, I have thought about how best to explain this to you and finally I settled on this statement. Seriously, don’t underestimate the negative impact that a breakup can have on text messaging.
However, to a woman having a man remind her of something that she would genuinely appreciate being reminded of means that, that particular man cares enough to look out for her.
The more details that you can bring to the table about how you felt, how she felt and about what happened the better. Let me go through a few examples with you so I can show you how to properly use a relationship text. While it’s not anything HUGE about your relationship it is an aspect that filled both of you up with good feelings. I mean, I am sure if a girl I really liked told me that she loved cuddling with me I would be over the moon but the truth is that this text could be so much better. However, it is my experience that most women wait for men to make the first move and that is not a problem because I know exactly what you can do to get your ex talking on the phone in no time. Not in a stalkerish kind of way I just mean you have to be aware of when she will be at work, out with friends or basically any time that it is not socially acceptable to take a phone call. However, in my experience when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back surprises are your enemy. About 3 years ago I met a woman at work who I was immediately interested in but, at the time, I was dating someone else. The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today.
We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers.
You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else.
I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it.
I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book.
When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that. So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it. I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think. It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having. Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from. The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that. And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him.
Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods.
Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make. When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what. No matter what happens all you have to do is talk to a man and he will trust you with his heart and soul. For example, if a woman cheated on me multiple times with multiple different men I am not sure I could forgive her for that.
Remember, trust is really important to most guys (especially when it comes to good looking women who get hit on a lot.) I would say that you should expect a guy to hold whatever you did (to cause him to lose trust in you) against you for a while. He would always bring it up whenever they got into a fight and cited it as a reason for why he couldn’t trust her. These are the type of guys that will literally bring up your mistake for the rest of your relationship.
While both of these examples can cause a boyfriend to lose trust in you one is definitely worse than the other.
The main problem you are going to be facing is that for the rest of the time that you are with him he is going to constantly think back to that time that you cheated on him.
Well, in my opinion for you it’s all about showing your man that he is just that, your man!
While it is true that women can get horny they have a problem that trumps their horniness, pregnancy. Cavewomen on the other hand have to be more selective with who they sleep with because the consequence of being pregnant always looms.
So, if you really want an in-depth look at the male mind and lying you might want to check it out. When you feel so possessive of a person that you feel the need to tell them what to do, how to act and what to wear. Make no mistake about it there is always going to be someone, that deep down, we wish we could control. They like the thought that there is a woman out there that cares enough about them to control their actions.
If you look at the mistake section above you will notice that there are 4 major mistakes that I cover.
In other words, you are going to have blind faith that what you are doing is going to work. Well, actually YOU are the reason you are in this predicament if you cheated (in any form) but still, those other men are to blame too.
I would do this through mutual friends, Facebook or whatever other social networks you are a part of.
However, I think in the case where you cheated on him a little jealousy can quickly turn into anger and leave him with a bad taste in his mouth. It doesn’t have to be forever it just has to be long enough for you to try the method I am about to outline.
Others are stern on their decision to contact their ex immediately and go on an apologizing rampage. In my opinion the best way to handle the situation is to do no contact but knowing all I know now (as compared to when I started this website) I don’t think a full 30 days NC period is required. So, instead of apologizing immediately (when you know that your ex boyfriend is angry at you) you should apologize after the no contact period is up.
That fact alone is some serious headwind that you are going to have to overcome to get him to trust you again. You may have the urge to, right out of the gate, go into some long explanation for why you have changed and how all you care about is him.
I have actually gotten these before (after I have been wronged) and I can honestly say that it just annoys me. This means that you are going to have some work ahead of you because right now your ex boyfriend can’t trust anything you say.
So, instead of pretending to be something that they aren’t they just be who they are and aim to be brutally honest with women. How well do you think it would go if you immediately sent him this long message declaring everything you were feeling and being honest about it? Now, we are going to assume that the conversation is stimulating so both of us are engaged in it. So, that automatically makes your ex boyfriend think you are being honest with him (which you are.) Secondly, it also creates a good feeling vibe.
If you can’t get rid of it then there is no way you are going to be able to get your exes trust back. I would talk with the owners of the franchises and they would often tell me that the employees were the problem but after doing some homework it became clear that THE OWNERS were the problem and not the employees. I am talking about the type of fights where things get thrown and loud voices turn into screaming. Most of you already know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule but especially in this type of a situation where your ex boyfriend thinks that you were way too controlling. However, if you are smart and implement the no contact rule for 30 days it is going to start making him think that you have changed.
Maybe in your relationship with your ex boyfriend you weren’t ok with him hanging around a certain friend. We are in a long distance relationship and we were face-timing when my phone vibrated because I had a text message.
I had never lied to him before but now he questions everything I say, because I lied to his face.
I don’t think he will ever believe me again and it was all because I did stupid, stupid things… I don’t want to lose him please help!
Sometimes, you may have to not talk about things that may trigger the disbelief; even when you really want to share something with the other person. After all, the main point of this site is to prepare you so that you have the best chance to get your ex boyfriend back. I know at times I can get a little bit wordy but I really want to push the importance of you reading this entire guide and not skipping a section. While I certainly do it for entertainment purposes I also do it because I know that if a show or movie is written well enough it is going to make me feel good. Anyways, I had a bad experience while I was there when some of the fitter football players made fun of my appearance.
However, the main reason for that is the fact that emotions are heightened after something emotional happens (like a breakup.) Of course, with time that emotional headwind you are facing from him is going to lessen.
Of course, it wasn’t until she stumbled across Ex Boyfriend Recovery that she realized that her behavior was not ideal. So, as you read the list of mistakes I am going to compile below I don’t want you to freak out if you have made one or all of them. That feeling of nagging can sometimes burden a man and unfortunately that burdening can lead to pain. For now, I want to point out something incredibly annoying that women can sometimes do when they get desperate for an ex boyfriend to pick up their calls.
While I respond to every single person in the comments section of this site I no longer respond to emails (unless they have to do with the E-Book.) If I responded to every single person through email I would literally get nothing done. It is through your exes emotions that you will get him to call you or pick up your phone calls.
More specifically, consistently hooking him into conversations that reinforce your good feeling vibes.
The reason I like this text message so much is that it gets your ex used to comparing you to a good feeling.
So, I am going to recommend that you use this text message as a way to open the conversation. For example, you can pretend like you forgot something about the memory and are asking him to recount it for you. I do want you to tap into your emotions but I want you to be really conservative on how you display them. Instead of looking for a way to make HIM call you, you are going to take the reins and call him!
What if you and I were to talk on the phone and you did an amazing job of hooking me into a conversation. We recently just talked on the phone for the first time in a long time but instead of me being left with positive thoughts of you I was left with negative ones after we hung up. Today, I am going to tackle this very complex subject and give you a set of actionable steps you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your relationship back. In my mind, a true long distance relationship is one where you are separated by states, countries or even oceans. A couple is dating and due to a certain set of circumstances one of them has to relocate (very similarly to the marriage LDR above.) Of course, there is one BIG difference.
The thing is though, when you met online you were separated by a considerable amount of distance and even today you are separated by a considerable amount of distance. Nevertheless, you are here because you want your ex back and you are willing to do whatever it takes.
Of course, couples in long distance relationships take things a step further by actually doing things together on the phone.
Unsuccessful LDR’s usually have one couple member constantly freaking out over what the other one is doing. For a couple separated by distance it is imperative that you take advantage of such electronic inventions. I don’t care what you say, in my mind nothing beats seeing someone you care about in person.
He has been dating his girlfriend for about five years (two of which were long distance.) When I asked him how he did it, how he could bear being away from his girlfriend that long he muttered two simple words. I am not going to lie to you, most long distance relationships I have dealt with fall apart because they require an extreme amount of patience and dedication.
Essentially I gave you the qualities that you need to have in order to be willing to have a LDR.
They do their best to call each other every day but their schedules are so busy that they sometimes forget to. What it all boils down to is that when you are physical with someone it provides a sense of security and togetherness that you just can’t make up over long distance. While some guys will say they hate dating I think most of us enjoy them a lot more than we let on. Well, in order to keep your relationship alive you have agreed that you will commute to see each other more in person. However, even if that wasn’t the case I would still recommend doing the no contact rule. If you do slip up and talk to your ex then you are going to have to start over from day 1 again. Now, people in long distance relationships have a pretty good advantage over normal relationships when it comes to this section. While a lot can happen over the month I am not entirely sold on a life changing transformation happening in that amount of time.
I will never forget the time when I was a little boy and went with my dad to watch him negotiate for a car at a car dealership. Also, another little nugget of knowledge I can give you is to make sure you use a lot of details.
Yes, it is a risk and you could fall flat on your face but in the end fortune favors the brave so it is time to be brave.
So yesterday I didn’t see him today not sure because his sister is coming with him to town. As I was going through a hard time at work, I texted him more often and usually initiated contact first. He was sorry for me and told me he felt too stressed and insecure right now and said we can talk later as friends. Furthermore, when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back it is the logical and less emotional woman who tends to win out in the end. Now, I am not denying the fact that being emotional can be a good thing in certain cases but it can really work against you if you are tying to get someone to chase you.
Of course, if you are able to remove emotion from the equation you are presented with an interesting contradiction. Instead, she didn’t approach the situation un-emotionally and did nothing to make me WANT to chase her. Again, there may be certain cases where this is not true but I believe that in most cases it is. You ignore him if he contacts you and you aren’t allowed to reach out to him during the NC period. Of course, the reason most women who try NC and fail is because they simply don’t have any patience. If I am fortunate enough to find a good TV show that is worth watching I will binge watch all the seasons in about a week or two. What if I told you that there was a way you can text someone, be in control and keep things interesting. However, when the time comes for me to finally get in an actual conversation with you (and I want you to chase me) I am going to implement the QBT theory. Now, obviously a lot depends on the content of the messages I sent you but if I do a good job it can definitely work to my advantage.
You need to be logical in order to decide when you need to cut the conversation off and that can be really hard if you are establishing good rapport with your ex. They had a crush on him, he let them in, took care for them, slept with them a few times, then suddenly broke up and forgot everything. I still tried to come over his place at night to cook and clean things up, but his class ended really late so I couldn’t stay to see him (he is an 2D artist lecturer). Seemed like he tried to compensate me by buying me gifts, hold my hand, and ask me to hug him.
As I know, he still have my photo as his lock screen and our photo in the home screen of his phone.
I am aware that this is probably due to the fact that it is only a week after the NC and I have to be patient. But I didn’t know how to do it because he used to contact me all the time without me doing anything and now things have changed. There was a calm and relaxed atmosphere, he was on his laptop, I was reading, and we even said one or two words. Now, the one wrinkle in this philosophy is that sometimes what you want isn’t always the best thing for you in the long run. For example, sometimes the only way to tell if a situation is helpless is for you to actually try to get your boyfriend back. However, just because I do my best to lay things out for you doesn’t mean that its going to be easy.
In other words, these are signs of resistance that an ex boyfriend will give you when things aren’t going well. Now, most ex boyfriends are going to respond after the no contact period BUT lets say that your ex boyfriend doesn’t. This is why I usually recommend to the women reading this site to never get in a fight with your ex boyfriend no matter what.
Do you honestly think that you would be able to create that “new and better” relationship that I am always going on about? So, when you really take a step back and look at the situation objectively do you see him being able to put in the amount of effort you are when it comes to bettering the relationship?
It all ties into the bad feelings that your ex may associate with you when he thinks back to your relationship. Then he will think back to the time that you got jealous over something that wasn’t that big of a deal and associate that with a bad feeling.
All I can tell you is that still even to this day I think about how bad it was and it is one of the reasons that I would not consider getting back with that particular ex. I go into this mini depression thinking that the world had ended and that I will be alone for the rest of my life. He was truthful about it, even telling me that he was going out for a lunch with the other girl before they went out. That means they have a previous comment than the comment that you were named Summer so, when filtered tbe newest comments also appeared too, that’s why their latest got answered. If you would like the actual step by step method that you should employ to get her back I suggest you take a good hard look at a guide called, The Texting Bible. For example, if you send a text message to your ex girlfriend that is about 25 words and she responds with a 1 word answer that might be a little troubling.
However, just figuring out what type of text messages to send is not going to help you understand the entire situation. What I will be talking about in this section should give you insight into your ex but in the end every single man reading this will be in a different position because every girl out there is unique and what is talked about in this section is a generalization of women.
However, if I was texting a girl that I was very interested in and I responded to her texts every few minutes then I am definitely engaged in what she is saying. However, I would say that in most cases she will be willing to talk to you and respond pretty quickly if the breakup wasn’t horrible. This text message has to be sent from her and it has to be one where she opens up emotionally or really wants an answer from you about something.
Now, imagine if you could do that to your ex girlfriend so she is literally anticipating your text. Simple, if you leave her wanting more then that means to her YOU are the only want who can satisfy her emotional hunger. The key to leaving her wanting more is finding the high point of the emotional conversation. Eventually I get to a point in the conversation where I find a string of text messages that satisfy all of the three characteristics I just talked about. The idea is to end the conversation on a positive note because then she will associate the good feelings she has gotten throughout the conversation with you. For the past month you have essentially ignored her and then all of a sudden she gets a phone call.
While it may cause her extreme anxiety for a while it will also make her realize how much she cares about you and that is what you want.
Essentially, you have followed the plans I have laid out here to a T and they worked for you perfectly.
Rather, you accomplish it in a matter of weeks or months but trust me when I say if you are patient the strategies outlined on this page can be extremely effective.
Re-building rapport with your ex when it comes to texting is almost the same as re-building trust. At the beginning you would only talk once every three days and towards the end you were talking every day.
Now, lets pretend for a moment that you were able to think of something like 15 memories that you could use.
If you are going to be talking about an aspect of your old relationship with your ex girlfriend I want you to pay attention to the details and that is something that this text lacks.


Now, tell me, what is a bigger surprise to a girl than an ex boyfriend calling her up out of the blue with no warning at all?
Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you.
I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart.
Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff.
Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that.
I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear.
So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you. Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation.
But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people. It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that.
I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode. Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting. But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back.
It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away. So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things.
I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it.
Everything that I write about on this site is something that I pour my heart and soul into.
I would like to introduce you to my complete guide on how to regain an ex boyfriends trust. My E-Book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO will pretty much teach you everything you need to do to get your boyfriend back.
I honestly think that if that happened to me I would be able to forgive a girlfriend for it BUT it would take some time and I would hold it against her for a long while… maybe forever. You may think that the mistake you made hurt them and maybe it did but I think there is more to the pain.
So, when a woman actually does something hurtful to them instead of forgiving her down the road they hold it against her to punish her. So, if you read through this and are unable to find a situation that lines up perfectly with what you are experiencing don’t freak out.
That number will dictate how hard it will be to get your ex boyfriends trust back if you committed that particular mistake. As you can see from the title of this section I assigned the cheating by sleeping with someone an MPI rating of 5. It is in a mans nature to find as many partners as possible and ensure the survival of the human race.
Even with the introduction of birth control this evolutionary feeling of being pregnant is in the back of the head of every woman.
Of course, the initial obsession that both the man and woman feel will eventually die down. It is up to you to show them that being with you is in their best interest and you know how you are supposed to do that? Trust is something that is earned over time so you are going to have to really put in the work to earn it.
Imagine if I checked up on you one day and learned that you were always hanging out around other guys.
Of course, if you are a no contact period for 30 full days your ex boyfriend is likely to get very angry at you if you keep ignoring his messages during that 30 days.
Well, this whole site is full of information on getting on good terms with your ex so do some digging.
So, the main goal in this section is going to be to find a way to make your ex boyfriend believe you when you talk to him about anything serious. Most of us are still under the impression that all women want is to hear what they want to hear. So, he is going to associate the honesty of the conversation you are having with good feelings and that is an excellent thing. When I would sit down with the owners and explain to them what needed to change they would generally try their best to change and maybe things did change.. What you need to realize is that being with someone who actually wants to be with you is a far greater reward than being with someone who you controlled to be with you..
You aren’t the person that he thought you were and this is good because the person he thought you were was controlling. Somewhere within this conversation you are going to ask him what he is doing tonight and then you are going to suggest an activity that you may not have been ok with during your relationship. If he was not looking good at a particular day you wouldn’t say he’s ugly straight to his face right? Basically, you have to be honest with almost everything you say and do and convey it in a loving and patient way. 1st time I lied about a stupid issue cz I didn’t want to upset him and he forgave me after.
I told the same lies to others to gain the same effect, acceptance via someone feeling sorry for me. He says he is failing at moving past what I have done, and wishes he could, but is not sure how.
You have to heal yourself from your guilt and the person you hurt will often not be able to see how the situation is hurting you too. I have been thinking a lot lately and have noticed one area where this site really lacks is when it comes to phone calls. The decision that I made to watch a TV show on my iPad is done with the end goal in mind, making me have a positive feeling.
Your goal with every interaction you have with your ex boyfriend is to leave him wanting more.
Doing this will give him a mental visual of the memory and hopefully bring up those good feelings from within. All I am saying is that you have to do a good job with the text messages in the section above for this to work. Add in the fact that I don’t like drama or confrontation and you have me sitting through one of the most boring dates of my life. Now, I do want to give you a word of warning that this page is probably going to end up being the second longest in the history of this site. However, after time one of the couple members are presented with an opportunity that causes them to move away for a considerable distance (or in some cases they are forced to.) If you and your ex are in a situation like this then this page can work for you. Instead of relocating indefinitely the person that relocated is only going to be gone for a few months.
Well, I suppose I should never say never but I am generally not a fan of them for one specific reason. I remember staying up so late at night and literally talking until a girl would fall asleep on the phone with me. In addition, I gave you the qualities that you can’t have if you are going to do a LDR. I want you to think really hard and figure out if you think HE has what it takes to make a LDR work.
The distance causes problems mostly because they haven’t seen each other in person in two months. No doubt about it this is some serious headwind that you are going to have to figure out a way to overcome.
These dry spells will make that man horny and he will be more likely to cheat because of that. Where you have the advantage is the fact that it could be months before you even get to see your ex. We want what we can’t have and since I am assuming that you want your ex boyfriend back really really badly right now he is sensing that he can have you. The thing about my dad is that he is always prepared when it comes to these types of things. I would like to recommend that you run it through what I like to call the first contact text.
Actually, I don’t want to dive in too deeply here because I already created a post that will help you pimp out your Facebook profile and I cover jealousy in there too! However, every once in a while there is a man that will reverse engineer the process and wind up on this site because he wants his ex girlfriend back. If you are going to compliment your ex boyfriend who you were in a long distance relationship with you have to be really careful. I just want you to discuss your relationship and any feelings that you may be having for each other still. That will require you to clear your schedule and have some extra spending cash which is why I want you to call him and let him know (to see if he digs the idea or not.) If he does then you are in! I still have feelings for him but I’m holding back of how I love him because trying to save myself first. For the next 30 minutes I talked to her trying to get a gauge on what she was like and then I noticed something….
Now, the thing to understand about text gnats is that it will be very difficult for you to get your ex boyfriend to chase you if he considers you to be one. That means that I have personally dealt with a lot of situations when it comes to exes and I can tell you that the no contact rule is the hardest thing for women to do. As I am sure you have already worked out younger women tend to end NC sooner than older ones. I WANT MORE!” It was a perfect cliffhanger because I had to wait an entire year to see the next installment and I never forgot that feeling. However, if you can get a good conversation going that line can usually keep growing for a long time.
I am dividing my texts up into these segmented blocks of quality time where I control everything.
In return, I also became everything he needed, supported him with everything I know and I can. But even before I used the NC (yes, I am one of those who still had contact with their ex and went NC after 3 months) I had to wait a long time before I got an answer. One of the others, who knows about how I feel, even asked me since when my ex and me are getting along so well again. I really miss him and want him back in my life could you please help me in how to get him back. So, being the smart woman that you are, you decide to wait a week and then text your ex again. The chances are very high that the two of you will talk again but it needs to be on his terms and not yours. I am talking about the type of fighting where they are both yelling at the top of their lungs and saying the most hurtful things they can think of to each other. She was saying all the right things and making me feel like I was the only one she cared about.
Eventually the stress of the relationship gets to be too much for both of us and we break up. The process will go on and on and it all ties into how bad your relationship with your ex was before the breakup. For instance, if you and I had amazing conversations for two weeks straight but had one fight the next week for some reason all that we would focus on is the pain that, that fight causes us and not the amazing conversations that we had prior to the fight.
The trick is to find a perfect balance between living in the now while thinking towards the future.
When we first met, he tried to convince me that the age gap was not a big deal, and now this happened. Now, I do realize that logically you may realize that this is the case but when you are actually in a situation that you have so much invested in it is hard to take a step back and think logically. Sure, maybe she was busy when you sent that text and she didn’t have time to write a proper response but imagine if this trend was consistent throughout the history of your conversations as of late.
In other words, you need to keep an eye out for a text message that satisfy all three characteristics. It is at this point that I should end the conversation because that girl would be left wanting more. If you do get a negative response apologize for the inconvenience you caused and then do not text her back. First things first, in the event that she completely ignores your text message wait about a week before you try anything else. It isn’t going to happen overnight but if you slowly advance things you can see some fantastic results. Any girlfriend I have had is always there to remind me when important stuff is about to come up.
When I was free she was dating someone but neither of us talked about these relationships instead we flirted and talked about other stuff. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you.
Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you.
I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying.
Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself.
So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past.
I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery.
So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.
Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up.
So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words.
About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps.
A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used.
You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature. There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back. But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want?
It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back. Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory.
I am dedicated into making Ex Boyfriend Recovery THE premier ex boyfriend site in the entire world. Probably the coolest thing about the E-Book is the fact that it will guide you through what to do STEP BY STEP! As a way to regain that control I am going to use your past mistakes as a bargaining chip to not only give you a massive guilt trip but as a way of making myself feel better, a way of gaining more control over you. Once we start getting into the actual ways in which you can work on regaining your exes trust you are going to learn that the tactics I teach can be applied in almost every situation.
Now, if somewhere down the road you find out that I lied to you it is probably going to hurt your feelings and you may doubt if I am telling the truth from that point on. For arguments sake lets say that the mans feelings start to normalize but the woman still feels the initial obsession.
If you are too controlling to a man like this you will probably wind up with a 3 on the MPI scale. The reason for this is that I have combined the two types of cheating that I discuss above into one. He will call you names, say hurtful things and probably not want to talk to you again for a long time. To make matters worse any time I checked your Facebook account I would see you out with with other guys. He definitely won’t think that you only have eyes for him if he sees you eying other guys.
Keep working on you and how you can be a better partner (not just brutal honesty, but your appearance, your level of support for them, and your compassion for them). This brings about doubt, and it will bring everything back to the surface again … which takes you on an emotional roller coaster as you so desperately want to be forgiven and move forward. They believe they were hurt, and don’t know that your heart is aching for the hurt you caused them that you want to fix so badly. Instead, you will just be reinforcing the emotional mindset that you probably already have.
Seriously, if you have never seen this guy interviewed before stop what you are doing and go watch him. A lot of people have contacted me directly begging for a page like this so I took a lot of time to research and brainstorm a plan for getting an ex back in this specific circumstance. If handled incorrectly this negotiation (for the commuted) could cause a strain in your relationship. She would text and he never responded to her but I think now he wants her back, how can I get him back. Please do not be alarmed as I will just be mentioning it as a helpful reminder that the particular sections I will be talking about on this page will be covered, more in-depth, in the E-Book. You want results faster than they can come and your ex is slowly but surely being turned off by this.
I want to talk about the actual having a conversation with him because this is where you can really make strides in forcing him to chase you. When he ask me for official dating, I didn’t know that he was still somehow “unfinished” with the latest girl. He sad he loved me but the feeling stopped because I was so after the money and work, so busy that he didn’t see me as much, and I was always tired and doomed. Before be said goodbye, he admitted that he met a new girl (one of his students), and shift ALL of his feelings for her. Do you think you could fight in a way where something gets accomplished rather than in a way meant to hurt the other person?
She may be busy at that particular moment or you may not have built up enough attraction yet. About 3 months ago she got injured and was home bound so I texted her something joking about her situation.
Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second.
You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team.
Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much.
I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy.
Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him.
Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially.
Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.
So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there. So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do. Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me. It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day. The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back.
So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back.
A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of.
This can become dangerous because that obsessiveness can evolve into possessiveness and that is not a healthy place to be.
Remember, lying is what got you in trouble in the first place so you need to take the opposite approach here and just be honest with him. I know that it took my boyfriend finding out to stop this very bad behavior I had developed at some point (likely after my first marriage, in which I was involved with a much older man that was a petafile.).
However, a lot of people aren’t like me when it comes to long distance relationships. These are all very important bonding moments in a relationships life and you could be missing out on them.
So, when the time came to haggle over the price the car salesman and my dad went back and forth.
It is important that YOU end it because it puts you in a position of power and will hopefully leave him wanting more.
However, I decided to trust him and believed that I was his true love, that I was different. We talked about our difficulties several times, and he seemed to be fine, realized his lack of caring and promised to notice me more. At late night, he text me and said that “It was right to meet you today”, “I think I am making a mistake”, “I know I’m making a mistake but I can’t stop it”, “it’s torturing me now” and all I said was remind him to take care and wish him all the best. Let’s say you don’t do no contact, do you think his relationship with the new girl will not progress especially that they see each other always? But before that happens you have to be emotionally prepared so, you won’t end up being needy in the relationship.
We understand each other really good, so a big family plus for me ?? ), some others and me were together from 7pm till 4 am. However, every time I would try to take the next step and ask her on a date she would either say she couldn’t or she would accept the date and cancel it at the last minute. If you want to try again before moving on, you have to take it slow and instead of asking him, make him feel he would want you back by building rapport and attraction by being the ungettable girl But the tricky part is, ungettable girls always show their valuable and that they can walk away if the guy doesn’t present equal value. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else.
Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear.
You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship. He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal. I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule.
There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back. So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back. So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days. When we begin dating for the second time you are under the impression that I have forgiven you for all your mistakes but deep down I have not. I work very hard to gain that kind of trust from women so when they try to control me it really upsets me. Anyway, long story short I bought the car and he said he would help me pay the taxes when they were due totaling $1500.00. But, if the topic comes up again (which begins when something triggers his disbelief) it rips my heart out. Every time I check my phone for a text message from my best friend I am still thinking of you.
In a LDR that just isn’t possible and as a result you are missing out on important bonding time that could further cement your relationship.
They haggled and haggled and haggled until my dad determined that he wasn’t going to be getting the price he wanted.
I know we won’t jump from NC to best friends, but his behaviour made me a bit anxious.
We had this talk before he went to university because we were about to get together and his current university is 2 hours away (but in the end we still became a couple. These actions would suggest that he feels an attraction for you and may still want you back. After a couple of weeks of this I saw her girlfriend in passing and she said that my friend was lucky because her boyfriend (who I knew nothing about) was staying with her a lot and helping her out. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship. I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs.
Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud. They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new. So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule.
In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen. So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now.
I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question. In fact, I am holding your mistakes against you the entire time we are together in our new relationship.
I know I was wrong and I feel terrible about it, but I was honestly scared to tell him the truth (I did not cheat on him).
One of my best friends dated his girlfriend (long distance) for two years and they are still together today. Although he was with his buddies he told me that he didn’t want to be disrespectful of being always on the phone. After that I sent him a long message saying thank you, remind him to take care and asked a friend to deliver him his birthday present that I bought in advance (maybe first mistake).
Take the better choice of choosing yourself and healing and gaining emotional independence instead of begging for him back.
I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you.
So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you.
We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work.
You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you. So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. I am not only holding them against you because I am hurt I am also holding them against you as a way to control you. Well, he knew that was a lie because our phones vibrate once for a mail and twice for a text so he knew it was a text before he even asked. Yesterday was my birthday, I woke up early in the morning and text him to remind him about his birthday today (Yes, our birthday is consecutive, third mistake maybe, but it was our birthday so I was really confused).
He seems like he is okay with me just being there and does not really care about me anymore” Yes, I noticed him looking at me pretty often and once he obviously tried to make me jealous. I love him very much still but its been a day of no contact ( i had to speak with him because we needed to move his stuff out). So, I decided to ramp things up a bit and told her I’d like to stop by for a visit and even asked when would be good for her. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have.
And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26. I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered. But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood.
So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule. This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up.
Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space. This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating.
One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. We discussed in June that I did not have the money and he said he could help me with half of the money. I know it will take me a VERY long time to regain his trust and I am willing to work extremely hard on that to get him back.
I don’t want him to walk away because he cannot move past this, and I want to be patient, loving and honest to gain back his trust. Us as a couple I usually steal his clothes and I finally admitted that I took his soccer shorts and he just laughed about it.
He didn’t confirm the break up and ignored me the whole day, didn’t even care if I could have kill myself (he knew me very well).
The conversation was ok but not great, we seemed to still worry for each other, and he still has little feeling for me. He is very angry (understandably), and i really do love him, and i want to be there for him. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though.
And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready.
Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you.
So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013.
But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on.
In late August he began paying me 100.00 per week from his business because I took care of all billing, phone calls, post office errands etc. At the same time, I was thankful that it was out in the open and I could move past the behavior finally.
You can only hope the person has grace like God, in that, they can give you a chance to be a better person and love you with open arms. Try to initiate contact after 30 days but make sure that you focused on yourself in that 30 days before you try to contact him.
About a week later, kinda late one night she texts me outta the blue and starts a conversation then asks me to call her. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive.
Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman.
So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it. In fact, now I feel very close to him because I am so honest with him and have really let him into my life (like I should have from day one). Just know, if (and I mean if) you can gain their trust again, you cannot never ever, ever lie again. So, i do and find out she just dumped the BF cuz he was cheating on her and even texting other women while they were together.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well.
I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood. Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple.
To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing.
My tags expired on my car at the end of August and I would have been driving on expired fictitious tags had they not gotten paid. We fell asleep leaving the FaceTime on and he only hung up when it was already in the morning. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home.
He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature.
I can’t do NC for very long because i need to speak to him about the rest of his stuff.
Shortly after that we decided to hang out, so I went to her house and hung out almost all night. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far. We did the same thing several times over the next couple of weeks until one time when I was leaving we finally kissed.
Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories.
He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done? The next time I saw her we ended up fooling around, she wanted to have sex but I refused because I had no protection and I was nervous about her ex and his promiscuity. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place? It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. Just straight forward “please give me a time and day you can come by and grab your stuff. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that.
We continued on for a bit hanging out and fooling around then the communications started to be more sporadic, I figured she was seeing someone else.
That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule. We talked for a bit then I leave after a while, she kissed me and hoped everything would be ok.
Later that day as i stewed a bit she texts says she’s sorry because she considered me a great friend and feels like she screwed that up too. The next morning I had to do a security detail about 150 miles away so I had to leave at 0400am. As the detail was in the direction of her house I drove by her house and saw his car, all lights in the house out they were asleep. 2 days later she sent me a message at like midnight accusing me of being paranoid, delusional etc. Deep down I felt bad about being mean to someone I like so much, and part because she made me feel small like this old dude is somehow better than me. So I go off the grid with her for a couple days and she finally texts me, a pic of the flowers, how beautiful they are and a pic of my favorite beer. I was with a buddy hanging out but replied after about a half our, something along the lines of sharing is caring lol. A couple days later I really missed talking to her so I shot her a quick text, she replied about an hour later just some stuff, she still had the beer and wanted to get together soon and have a couple. There is no doubt in my mind she is hanging out with the old guy, I’ve given her plenty of opportunities to tell the truth.



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Category: Winning Back Your Ex



Comments to “Ex recovery text messages”

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  2. maulder:
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