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As my father-in-law lay in his deathbed after a brief illness, people wanted to say goodbye.
Should I delete her, send her a message about how I feel, give her the cold shoulder, or just block all communication and keep her as a shadow friend? You used the term “opportunity cost” above, Haunted, for which I’m still trying to forgive you. It may be that some time down the line this woman will realize she made a mistake in breaking up with you. The views and opinions expressed in this piece are solely those of the writer and do not in any way reflect the views of WBUR management or its employees. Kids are in for Jurassic-sized laughs as they follow a boy in his quest to bring a pterodactyl to school. All I can do now is sit and dream, reminiscing on what might have been, wishing you would come back to me.
There’s nothing quite like not living to sap your confidence and your mental strength.
We’ve talked about negative people and how they can sap your confidence before, but it bears repeating because they can also affect your mental health just as much as your confidence.
Anyone or anything that causes you to doubt your dreams or your ability to achieve is a threat to both your mental health and your self-confidence. How we care for our bodies really does affect the health of our minds, so make sure you eat right, get regular exercise, and get enough sleep. Seriously though, both your confidence and your mental health suffer when you’re not happy.
You don’t know how much having a hobby or a passion that you love to spend time doing means to your confidence or your state of mind until it gets taken from you. Anyways, to make a long story short, the first thing I did when I got back on my feet again was buy a new piano.
Regardless of whether you’re working at a job, for yourself, or on a hobby that you love always put your heart and your best effort into it. If you put in a half-baked effort, you get half-baked feelings of fulfillment back from it because you know in your heart that you didn’t do your best. It’s got to be all or nothing, done with generous amounts of heart and soul for me to really get enjoyment out of it. Last, but certainly not least, surround yourself with a support network of people you love, and who love you back. Just having a friend who will listen to you when you’re feeling down or overwhelmed can do more for your mental health than all the psychiatrists in the world put together.
Having a strong, emotionally supportive network is your safety net for when the going gets tough.
I can tell you from my own experience of being isolated for years, that if I would have had a strong and supportive network of family and friends, things would have been a lot different. Happiness, your state of mind and your confidence are all connected, and having all three can lead to living life to your fullest potential.
You can choose to let your circumstances get you down or you can choose to be happy no matter what challenges life brings. You can choose to let your circumstances sap your confidence or you can choose to be self-confident and face whatever challenges life brings. Yes, there will always be troubles because no one is perfect, but you can choose your reaction to situations.
Every time you choose to react positively to a negative situation, you’re also building up your confidence. Depression is a real problem, and all too often, people allow themselves to go deeper and deeper into self-pity or depression because they think it has to be that way. Using a journal to record your thoughts and feelings can also help when you’re feeling down. As you start to choose happiness, you will find that your self-confidence and self-esteem also being to grow.
Posted by Ruth 4 Comments When you look at Charlie Brown and Snoopy doing their happy dance, it makes it hard to think about not living in joy.
If you hadn’t planned for those joyful happenings, and everything went according to plan, think of all the good things in life you would have missed out on!
Now, before you tell me I’m all sugar plum fairies and pie in the sky this morning, I know that there are things to be stressed about. It’s important to have an empowering morning routine that gets your day started on the right foot.
When you hit one of those unexpectedly negative events that have the potential to ruin your day, put your strengths to work for you.
Creating joy in your day comes as much from how you think about things just as much as what those things actually are.
If you can find one positive lesson in the frustrating situation you just walked away from, you can create joy in your day from that. When you are on the lookout for ways to create joy in your day, life becomes a grand adventure. When you shift your mindset from “This can’t be good” to “This could be really good” amazing things happen. However you decide to go about creating joy in your day, always remember that happiness is your choice! Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: Affirmations, Charlie Brown, creating joy, Happiness, happy dance, positive thinkingCome On, Get Your Happy On! Posted by Ruth 2 Comments When you practice living life to the fullest, one of the best things you can do is make your day your own.
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I wanted us to live closer, or even together, but she told me she wasn’t interested in marrying or having kids for the next five to 10 years.


And staying in touch with her on Facebook is a perfect way to hit the refresh button on that hurt every time you go online — and thereby, in some perverse but perfectly natural way, to keep the relationship alive. You wrote that the “opportunity cost” of deleting her was that you would not know anything about how she was doing. And not just any pterodactyl: this one wards off bullies, loves to read stories, and makes an excellent science display. There’s nothing quite like an attack of the brain farts to make you wonder just how intelligent you really are.
What I found is that there is a direct relationship between happiness, mental health, and self-confidence.
Once I started playing again, I started to feel more like my old self — happier and more confident just because I was able to spend a part of each day doing something I love.
Look at the positive side of things and work hard to see the good in people and circumstances. Every time you do this, it gets easier and easier because you’ve done it before and you know you can do it now. You have natural gifts and talents to help you achieve your purpose, so use your gifts effectively! Seeing a list of all you have, and all you have accomplished will fuel your happiness and your confidence at the same time. Often you’ll find that just getting your feelings down on paper will allow you to work through them, helping you to feel better about yourself and your beautiful life!
When you feel a negative thought coming on, or your mind gravitates toward the negative, learn to recognize it, stop it in its tracks, and then start thinking happier thoughts. Lost jobs, bills to pay, groceries to buy, kids to outfit for summer camp, sports and whatever else their hearts desire… But we all know that happiness is a choice right? Only you get to decide what will ruin your day, and if this is something that doesn’t deserve to have power over you, stick up for yourself and don’t give in to it!
So think good thoughts, and good things are bound to show up throughout the rest of the day. It could be that just one little glitch is causing all your frustration, and I can tell you from experience when that happens, there is much joy in walking away even for five minutes.
You’ve learned something new, and you can file that away for the next time something like this comes up.
There’s always something going on, and each challenge or obstacle to your joyful day is a new opportunity for you to build your confidence, empower yourself, and just be happy! If you think of life as an adventure to navigate, then positivity and joy are the keys to opening up all the secret passageways. You get to decide whether you will let frustration and negative energy get you down, or if you’ll shake it off and do a happy dance. So many times we feel like our days are not in our own control but by taking the time to make a choice that leads to happiness for yourself or for someone else, you really do own your day.
I can tell you from experience that I absolutely love it when you email me or leave a comment on my blog and tell me you liked something I’ve written.
It’s also way too easy to take nature for granted, especially if you live in an area where there is an abundance of open space. What better way to show your appreciation for everything you have in your life by helping out someone who has less or is going through a tough time. Being grateful is a core part of the Law of Attraction — what you put out is what you get back.
Conceivably. But it’s not going to happen because you kept in touch with her on a social media network.
Hilarious illustrations capture the madcap imagination of the determined hero and his creative pleas to his teacher.
And believe me, feeling like you’re the most stupid being on the face of the earth can really do a number on your self-confidence.
And the more I think about it, the more I think you really can’t have an abundance of one without affecting the other.
So as much as you may love someone, if they are being negative toward you or your dreams, you really should try to limit your exposure to them. So why is it that, as we get older, we forget where to find happiness within ourselves and, instead, allow outside forces to determine our happiness? Because how could you not be happy and confident in yourself when you can see all you have done? And you can let all the stress and worry of everyday living and let it suck the joy out of you, OR you can make a choice to create a joyful day for yourself in spite of all the negative stuff. Use an affirmation such as “Today is a joyful day for me!” to set the mood before your feet even hit the floor.
And you know that secret passageways are where all the good stuff happens in an adventure, right? You can either let it sap all the joy of living out and confidence out of you, or you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps and find a way to get your happy on. Sometimes we take life for granted and just plod along throughout the day expecting that tomorrow will be there. Whether you toss a ball with your dog, get down on the floor and play with your kids, or just do something child-like such as catch a snowflake on your tongue, letting your inner child out to play is a great way to own your day.
Smiles are contagious, and by smiling at others and sharing your happiness you may lift their spirits too.
And so we may feel love, or happiness, or gratitude for someone and they won’t have a clue because we never get around to telling them.
You can’t see my smile online when that happens, but if you show or tell someone in your physical life that you appreciate them you will definitely see their smile. Taking a minute to send a card with a handwritten message is a great way to show gratitude. Too often we take them for granted, and forget to show them how much we appreciate and love that they are in our lives.
There is so much hardship in the world right now that we should, as human beings, be helping each other through them.
Sharing gratitude and appreciation with others also sends more gratitude and appreciation back to you.


Can you see, therefore, that there is no positive “opportunity” to remaining in touch with this woman? Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.
Taking baby steps towards a dream or goal will help you feel like you’re accomplishing something. You could still get kissed by a butterfly, run into an old friend, hit all the green lights on the way home, or any number of other things all designed to make you smile. Learning something new leads to new experiences and opportunities, and the happiness you seek might be just around the corner. When you give unexpectedly without anything in return it gives you a lift as much as the stranger that you are helping. We either assume they already know, or we assume they will reject our feelings and so we say nothing.
Giving a friend a hug is a great way to show your gratitude for their presence in your life. Show your gratitude for the environment by doing whatever you can to preserve it, and get out there and enjoy it whenever you can.
Giving even an hour of your time each week is a great way to share your gratitude for all the good things in your life. And when you feel appreciated you can’t help but also feel happier and more positive about your own life.
I hereby order you to go cold turkey and to begin the long, slow process of healing and putting yourself out there and (yes, eventually) finding someone who can offer you the love and devotion you deserve.
Even if I don’t have a helpful response, chances are someone in the comments section will.
As you start planning your adventure, you’ll find your happiness meter moving up again as you get caught up in the excitement.
And if you absolutely must send her a note (which, seriously, you do not have to do) keep it simple and direct.
Even if you just get out for coffee, it’s a step closer to feeling happier than sitting all by yourself at home. When you focus on the big picture, sometimes it allows you to see your challenges and unhappiness in a whole other light.
When you live with intention, everything you say and do is a step toward making your dreams and goals become reality. And you can’t do that if you’re still dissecting the minutia of her various Facebook squibs. When you know you’re on your way to achieving a lifelong goal, even a baby step can lighten the load and make your day a great one.
If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.2. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship.
And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. Holding the Relationship HostageWhat It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself.
But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing.
One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.4. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), you will develop codependent tendencies. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner.
If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses. But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example. Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship. Communicate!There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment. But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues.
Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good.
If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line.



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