How to get an ex back after two years

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And sometimes you might even feel a bit desperate about your situation.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
Like most guys, you are probably reaching for even the smallest of signs that she still loves you. You are willing to grasp any possibility that your former girlfriend is even mildly in love with you. You are willing to accept any form of love from your ex-girlfriend, just as long as you still have a chance to win her back.
Though, in all my time in dealing with the ex break-up pattern, the reason why the two of your are no longer together is not likely due to a mutually arrived at decision. Yea, I don’t see that very much.  Sure, it sounds nice, but in reality, it seldom really ever happens that way.
Maybe she cheated on you, but now you are mostly over it and are wondering if the love between you and your ex girlfriend is still in play. Maybe you cheated on her, in which case you have finally come to your senses realizing that you screwed up royally. But for your love to be “complete”, you know in your mind and heart that she needs to love you back.
Perhaps she has been the most amazing creature you have ever laid your eyes on and you cannot imagine a future without her in your life.
On most days, you believe that your sweetheart could not have just given up on the relationship, despite all of the problems you and her were having. All of those memorable, intense feelings and experiences had to count for something you figure. For many guys out there who have lost their girlfriend, it is not just simply a matter of waiting a few days for it all to come back together.
Indeed, you probably have already figured out that this business of winning back your lover’s affection is shrouded in all kind of mystery. Was there something specific that sparked that powerful feeling of attraction and devotion? If it doesn’t start with some kind of spark that you can reproduce, then how does it really take shape?
And by the way, if we are going to walk down that path, why not find out as much as we can.
What you really need to know is what your ex girlfriend might say or do to demonstrate that they still are very much in love with you.
What can you do to regain those very special feelings and get the dying embers of love all fired up again. Do you remember that old Saturday Night skit in which these two slick looking guys that would go to a bar looking to pick up women? For starters, something went down between you and your ex girlfriend and now you are outside her circle of trust.
The science of human behavior speaks to us on this topic and my advice is don’t give up the ship.
The way I look at this deepest of human emotions is that it is multi faceted and operates on many variables. We can set the stage and seek to invite a person to the production, but much like “theater”, what really creates a lasting impression is highly subjective. Trying to break down all of the variables in a logical manner, often leaves a person completely befuddled.
Indeed, the forces that influence loving feelings between you and your ex-girlfriend are in your favor. If you truly were in love with each other, then the force necessary to permanently pull you away from each other will need to be as powerful as the force that brought you together. The way I look at it, love, once it is formed between the two of you, acts like a force that pulls you together. What I find interesting about movies are the great action and adventure scenes or the cool science fiction scenarios. I also like that every once in awhile a great movie will come along and not only entertain, but also teach something meaningful about life. If you were listening carefully,  you would have noticed Yoda speaks about this invisible force I described a bit earlier.
It turns out that when you take two heavenly bodies with mass, a gravitational attraction force is created.
Indeed, this force only exists because of the two bodies that are in close proximity to each other. Those feelings of attraction and love that have grown over time between you and your ex-girlfriend have created a very special bond. But we are going to talk about the things that will enable and support this bond that exists between the two of you. Can your ex girlfriend just simply ignore all of the good things that happened between the two of you, which led her “falling in love” with you?
After all, despite all these fine words I have just written, you may still need additional convincing that your Ex still loves you. When you are trying to figure out if you ex-girlfriend still cares about you deeply, you need to apply both the traditional real world tests to evaluate if love still exists; and you need to utilize Orwellian world logic to figure out if your Ex still has the hots for you. There are times where your girlfriend acts like she is obsessed with you and can’t seem to get enough of your time and space. Your girlfriend is agreeable to compromising for you, whether it is schedule related or choice of movie, she is all too happy to accommodate. Sometimes the world or experience you are having is not so traditional in the sense of things making sense. In these situations, you are wondering just what the heck is going on because now your lover’s (or ex-girlfriend’s) behavior seems completely upside down.
Ok, maybe it’s not that graphic in this new world but you get the idea for what I am going for here. If you and your Ex broke it off and you are now wondering if she still really cares about you, it will be quite a feat for you to put the puzzle pieces together in this world.
You have to accept that your old girlfriend has slipped the surly bonds of earth and just about all the behavior from her will be completely foreign to you. Well, forget that, because in this case, if your ex-girlfriend has entered into Orwellian space, you will be dealing with someone who is no longer even in our solar system (emotionally speaking)!
Because in this world I am talking about, your ex-girlfriend could say things that mean the complete opposite. Fortunately for you, I have acquired a very special skill that makes me conversant in the Orwellian language.
I will tell you what she may have said or is probably thinking, then I will translate it for you. Oh, and by the way, this translation of what your former girlfriend is really thinking only applies if she  “really loved you”. She spends most of her time trying to ignore you…but all she can do is think about you. She has blocked you on every social media site that ever existed…but she dreams of you and wishes that things were back to the way they were in the good times.


Your game plan, along with all kinds of “what ifs” and “what you should do” is covered in great detail.
Generally speaking, you need to start making some deposits into your girlfriend’s trust account. You see, every relationship can be measured by the capital that is invested in its emotional trust account. Let’s just say that watching withdrawals being made from the relationship “trust account” is not a pretty sight to behold.
Check it out if you are looking for the “Master’s” version of how to use texting to re-light the fuse with your ex-girlfriend. It is the most powerful secret weapon I could ever offer up to you, short of actually providing individual relationship coaching. We started off this entire conversation with the question of whether the girl you broke up with, but care deeply about, is still fond of you. All of those habits and routines that you and your ex girl have grown accustomed to are still very much part of both of your psyches. The process of bonding closely with another human being, particularly when it is the opposite sex, is something that has great staying power. Your girlfriend may be going through a bit of a crazy and confusing time on the emotional side. Whatever the catalyst that caused the two of you to split, my best advice is that time is going to be a big ally. As you know from my other writings, I am a fan of employing the No Contact Rule in most relationship situations where a serious breakup has occurred. Just know that this mirror image effect in how you both interact is also not something that just dissipates away in a matter of days or weeks. Irrespective of whether she has doubts about you and even if she is seriously considering taking a different course in her life, just know that the months following a break-up more often results in couples reuniting.
I certainly hope so because some pretty amazing things can happen when two people are motivated to improve their relationship.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. I need help with my ex gf, she ended our relationship about 2 months ago and since then I have chased her. Just before Christmas my ex and I started having problems which seem to revolve around money. Recently, my girlfriend of 5 years came over and randomly asked if I saw myself marrying her as she is. I’ve decided to not reach out to her and give it time, at which point I will ask to meet up and talk. When i knew her she a was young sweet lady that was bit lost she never had a beautiful love relationship.
I gave her all the love i had & all the advices i could in order to help her to become more confident and a better person. She changed of career because of my advice and started becoming a more balanced person with her decision and i supported her in her way of understanding the world.
I am unfortunately a busy young entrepreneur with hard times trying to take of my business.
My business situation became even harder and i started to be less positive about my profesional situation. But then came Bill O'Reilly, last night, uttering my name in a particularly smarmy and venomous way. He too called me a liar, this time for another part of my six minute interview with weekend host, Don Lemon. First, and in a move suggesting the degree of dishonesty to which O'Reilly is prepared to stoop, he chose to identify me as a "self-proclaimed anti-racism activist." Actually I don't proclaim myself anything.
Anyway, O'Reilly, who carefully selected only one 15 second clip from an interview that had lasted about six minutes, was steamed by my description of what had happened a few days earlier at a Missouri health care town hall meeting, hosted by Senator Claire McCaskill.
On this point, O'Reilly pounced, claiming that the n-word sign was merely alleged and that there had been no confirmation of it, presumably by photographic or video evidence. Fact is, there is no photo of the sign calling President Obama the n-word, to my knowledge.
Normally, the procedure for discrediting eyewitnesses is to offer some compelling reason why their claims should be disbelieved. As for O'Reilly's argument that the ripping of the Parks poster may not have been racist, this is worthy of some extended discussion, for it goes to the heart of the racial divide between whites and blacks in this country: a divide that makes it difficult--not impossible, but difficult--for white folks and black folks to understand each other, because we often experience things so very differently.
First, Bill suggested the attack on the poster could have been merely political, and not racial.
O'Reilly then posited the possibility that the guy who ripped up the sign didn't know who Rosa Parks was. Others have suggested that perhaps he was merely angry at her for breaking the rules and bringing a sign into an event where they were prohibited, but such a claim is hard to believe.
But even more to the point, O'Reilly's position on this matter is indicative of how many whites view racism, and why whites and blacks so often disagree about basic matters that touch on race.
In this instance, and because it seems as though white folks are the only ones failing to see the racial element of this attack at the town hall, how might we try and understand the event? So long as we insist on viewing racist injury only through the eyes of white folks, very little of anything will ever qualify for the designation.
You think to yourself, “yea, I can learn to be the best version of myself and do a much better just of building up the old trust account”.
I have known my ex for almost two years, we dated after two months, moved in together after 6.
She started becoming distant a few weeks before she ended it, so I started to pursue her more until it got to a point where she turned around and said she hates me, she never loved me, etc. She doesn’t know that I know that she also went down there to see her new boyfriend that she had been dating for a couple of months. Although O'Reilly's guest, professor Marc Lamont Hill tried to defend me from his attack, O'Reilly did as O'Reilly often does: talk over his guest and foreclose any possibility of serious dialogue. But because I have been bombarded by hateful e-mails this morning, apparently spurred by O'Reilly's comments last night, and because I have a few extra minutes to spare, I'd like to offer clarification as to what I said, why it is no lie, and why O'Reilly's position is untenable in the extreme. The basic facts are not in dispute: a black woman was assaulted by a white man, who tore up a poster of Rosa Parks, which the woman, Maxine Johnson had in her possession.
For me to mention it, therefore, was merely an attempt to inflame racial tension and inject race into a situation where it had previously not been present. She had the sign rolled up in front of her, having obeyed the instruction not to display it by holding it up in the event.
Well aside from applying a little common sense, we have the logic of Occam's Razor, which says that when you have competing theories of something, the simpler is probably the correct one.
As such, it is worth thinking through, not so much to correct Bill's own misperceptions, but so as to engage in the more important discussion we need to be having about why folks often see the same set of facts through different lenses. And so, since we don't know for sure what was in the attacker's head, we can't say, or shouldn't even suggest that his motivation was racial. When is it a right time at this point, to break NC and how do I go about asking her to hang out when she forgets the rough breakup we had.


She then broke down, cried, and said we want different things before saying I deserve better, breaking up with me, and leaving. I honestly am not sure at this point what her actual motives & feelings are, and when we did talk, it was all so vague on her end. When I had her come over to talk, my goal was to explain that I was just caught off guard and wanted to avoid the question until I understood her motives – then tell her my actual feelings on the matter (I want to get married, but need some time).
He called me a liar for claiming that he had said President Obama hated white people, and he was even more inflamed by my suggestion that the founders of the country had believed in white supremacy. I am no more self-proclaimed than he is, as a journalist: a title he gave himself, with no sense of irony, even when he worked at Inside Edition. I had mentioned the incident, but what had O'Reilly so upset was my claim that the attack had been racial, and my noting that there had been a sign there calling the President the n-word. So far, I have seen no such compelling evidence to discount the claims by Johnson and her daughter.
Only when a journalist walked over to her and asked to see it did she unfurl it, and even then, on the chair in front of her, and not in such a way as to be obvious or disruptive. Frankly, it seems easier to conclude that a white man attacking a black woman and ripping up her poster of one of the nation's leading civil rights' icons was racial, than to believe it was some random act of meanness or perhaps an attempt to enforce rules about not having posters. To him, the way that the event is experienced by the target, the victim, the one receiving the treatment is irrelevant. I answered his disingenuous critique, demonstrating the truth of both claims, and figured that would be the end of it. The description I heard was that it was a small sign, affixed to the shirt of one of the people in attendance, as if by tape or some other adhesive. Well, if it were a poster of a politician, say President Obama, one might say that such an argument made sense, and was well within the realm of possibility. Plus, normally one does not display their deep and abiding regard for the "rules" by going and breaking even bigger rules: ya know, the ones that say you can't assault people or destroy their property. But while a standard of mens rea--meaning literally, "guilty mind" and figuratively, "intent to commit a particular act"--may well be appropriate in a court of law, it is not necessarily the best standard for evaluating non-criminal issues, like whether or not a particular act is racist or has racial overtones. Nope, in the eyes of those who created these images and sent them around, there was no racist intent at all. I said we should stay friends since we knew each other a long time, she then proceeded to tell me she has a new bf who she loves more than me, is so much better than me, who she trusts more than me and who is an all round better than me kinda guy.
Not sure why O'Reilly didn't see fit to mention that, seeing as how he's a journalist and all, and journalists are supposed to report facts, of which, my authorship of four books would normally qualify as one. I found the claim convincing for two reasons: first, I could see no logical reason for the two women to lie.
So, for instance, folks have written to tell me that Johnson is an Obama supporter, was planted by Obama in the meeting, or that she works for ACORN. In other words, it strains credulity to believe that this violent thug was simply trying to instill respect for proper decorum. Fact is, events take on meaning, whether intended or not, based on a confluence of circumstances, context, setting, and other factors that the perpetrator may not understand, but which the target of a particular act understands all too well.
I just saw her tonight for the first time in a month to get the last of my stuff, talked about nothing for a couple secs hugged and left. Their story--of the assault and ripping of the Rosa Parks poster--was compelling enough without that additional detail.
As for the first of these, it appears true, but if that makes one a liar, then over half the country's citizens are pathologically dishonest. Rosa Parks's visage does not symbolically represent any political position per se, except the one for which she fought: civil rights and racial equity. So, for instance, the man who calls his female secretary "sweetie," or "babe" may or may not intend to demean her as a woman.
That white person rips up our poster of Rosa Parks: one of the nation's most important civil rights icons.
After several months of coaxing, I went to talk to a counselor and tests say I have severe anxiety and depression. After it happened, we sat and talked for a while about the old relationship and what I would have done differently and what I wished I had done and also how I felt then and now. Secondly, the size and placement of the sign made sense, given the rules at the town hall event, which included a prohibition on holding up signs.
So if the attacker was putting forward political speech and not racial speech, the only conceivable political statement would have been a political statement against civil rights and racial equity.
But surely most would not be surprised to learn that the target of that behavior would experience the event as demeaning, and for reasons having specifically to do with gender. Then, hundreds of white people--who far and away outnumber people who are black like us in the room--begin to cheer, apparently heartened by his violent outburst. YOu ahve to do it without her, so you know that you did it yourself and not because of an outside source. I took her out the day before on our anniversary, her favorite flowers, gentleman, nice dinner and then we had sex after…However, I knew something was wrong which is probably why I put so much effort into our anniversary. Had the claim been of a poster-size sign, being held up by someone in attendance, I would have immediately discounted it, because of the rules, and because such a sign surely would have been seen by someone with a camera. And so far as the ACORN charge goes, I have seen no evidence indicating her connection to the group, but even were it true, such a connection would hardly prove that she or her daughter were lying about the sign they claimed to see. Is it really hard to imagine that in this situation, we might indeed experience this assault as racial? A few days later I was feeling upset about it so I texted her to ask why she hated me so much since I never did anything wrong to her and I didn’t get a reply so I sent her another message explaining that I never cheated, flirted or anything and that I always loved her only and so on and still no reply. She felt as if she was developing a pattern of being an enabler to her boyfriends in the past, myself included. But with a small sign, on someone's body, it is entirely possible for such a thing to have escaped the eyes of news crews or intrepid iPhone photographers.
And in any event, it's hard to argue both points: that his act had been political, and then that he didn't even know who she was. I will admit that as time went, my fuse got shorter and shorter and I did not always take the time to let her know it was not her fault. She still gets that light in her eyes and tells me I’m perfect for her somewhat regularly. She also said she wants to work anywhere for the time being so she can start so I suggested working with me and she was happy about it and even angled for a place to stay so I offered her a room at mine.
I’ve been reading a lot of articles written by girls who sound like her, and the thing they share is feeling like since the spark of new love is gone, it must mean love is gone completely.
It seems to me that if one is being honest, one would have to acknowledge that the event could take on racial impact--and therefore constitute a racial injury--quite aside from what was in the head of all those white people. I found out my half brother died recently and this could affect my living situation, my close friend who knows what’s going on between us sent her a text without me knowing telling her this and showed me the conversation. Now she’s acting cold, distant and blocking me from her life and I feel hopeless and stuck.



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Category: Winning Back Your Ex



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