How to get an ex back after two years

Quotes on how to get over your ex reddit

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If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.
Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one. So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that.
So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.
Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone. However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece. But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.
Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.
In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup. They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex. The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.
The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.
Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.
Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there. But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have. Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?
No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much.
But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off. But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.
So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?
Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.
Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him. Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.
If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.
Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex? We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.
When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.
Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.
Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything? So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away. Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you. No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner. Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.
And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.
If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity. You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general. I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.
Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.
Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?
So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.
No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?
The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup. I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you. Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do? Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it? By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot. With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have.
I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.
The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back.
And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back. Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.
So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts.
Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles. So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman. Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her. I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media. Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for. This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture.
So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.
But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives. Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.
In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect.
When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.
During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try. If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.
In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing.
I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book.
If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life. What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys.
In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous.
Sorry word is used on that time when we do some wrong and we are feeling guilty on our behavior or hurt to anyone with our attitude or words so that’s why we say sorry to remove misunderstanding and problems that creates among us.
When your words hurt the anyone and he angry to you then we say sorry to him for remove his anger and remove the misunderstanding that create among us and we say sorry to realize to other that i  feel sorry on my attitude. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you.
That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say.
So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness.
Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone.
Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook.
Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice.
Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that.
You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend.
So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you.
So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule. So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will. Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts. The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front. If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally.
Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule. So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome.
And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. If you want to get your ex boyfriend to talk to you again then you are going to have to do some work. What is the first thing that you want to do after a breakup, especially if you aren’t ok with it? So, if you want to get on speaking terms with your ex again you are going to have to do things that aren’t perceived as needy or desperate. Rather than texting or facebooking your ex every five minutes, a woman who wants to take control of the situation with her ex will implement something called a no contact rule. The no contact rule is supposed to accomplish more than just cutting yourself off from your ex.
Of course, I will admit that the probability of a friend seeing you and squealing to your ex that you look amazing isn’t very high.
If you implement the no contact rule like I suggest above I would estimate that 40% of the time your ex will reach out and try to talk to you. The goal of this page is to get your ex to talk to you again and as you can see, the no contact rule alone can accomplish that feat. In the event that your ex doesn’t get back in touch with you then you are going to have to take matters into your own hands a little bit. Before I dive in to the rules of texting your ex I think it is important to mention that YOU SHOULD ONLY TEXT YOUR EX AFTER THE NO CONTACT RULE. It’s all about control, you want to control every aspect of the conversation you can. If you want to get back on speaking terms with him then you have to understand that you need to keep your first few texts to him very short. No matter what he says to you DO NOT fall into the trap of responding to him, not yet anyways. His interest is already raised because you sent him the confession text already but I want his interest raised even more.
Look, I am a guy and when I really like a girl that I am texting I can’t help but look at my phone every five seconds waiting for her response to my most recent text. So, he’s responded to your confession text, you’ve waited the full hour, now what? There will be a small percentage of women whose boyfriends are so angry with them that they won’t respond even if they have waited a month via NC and sent the ideal text message.
I want you to understand that I wrote this page with it’s sole intent being to help YOU get back on speaking terms with your ex.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I did the NC rule and when i contacted him he replied within second, we always have good conversation but I’m the first one who always initiate the conversation. What if he says the reason why we broke up is because I’m too affectionate do I still do Nc rule?? We had a good story I don’t know why is so reluctant and why one month ago he answered also to see each other! You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. Don’t be alarmed by that.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you. Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.
So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.
You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.
The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back.
If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.
Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances.
The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.
It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day.
She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female.
Some persons have very rude behavior and think they are not doing something bad and if he does some bad then he feel ashamed to say sorry and think why I say sorry to anyone because I m not wrong. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat your own words.
Some people hurts the others and don’t say sorry because they think they are always Right and when you say sorry then it create respect in heart of hurt person and make you respectful.
The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week.
If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person. That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.


You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book.
When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again. I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you.
I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it.
I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think. It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having.
Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from. The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that.
And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him. Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods.
Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make.
When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what. I am assuming, since you are reading this page on my site, that right now you and your ex boyfriend aren’t on speaking terms. You probably want to contact your ex, ask how he is doing, beg a little bit and eventually get upset because he isn’t giving you the time of day. Most people don’t respond well to silence and if your ex feels like you are ignoring him, which you are, he will go a little crazy trying to get a hold of you. If you weren’t on speaking terms with him immediately after the breakup then hopefully the minimum time frame of 30 days will have settled him down enough for him to accept and respond to your texts. By sending him the confession text and getting him to check his phone every five minutes waiting for your response you are going to reinforce the behavior that he is used to when he has strong feelings for a girl.
I feel I have accomplished that by showing you some very effective methods to get him to talk to you again. In that time I said to him that we could see each other when I was free… to not appear too needy and too available to see him but a week after when I asked him to go out he said that maybe we could see after my graduation. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.
A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.
Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all.
I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff.
Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you. Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation. But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people. It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that.
I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode. Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting.
But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back. It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away. So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things.
I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it.
Every single day I get a minimum of at least twenty emails from women who are all over the place emotionally because they aren’t on speaking terms with their ex. I want to tell you something about men, seeing as how I am one and know what it is like when a girl contacts me in the way I described above. However, you have to send your text a certain way and you have to understand that the more disciplined you are during your conversation with him the better off you will be. Even if you came up with the most fascinating text in the world you wouldn’t be his top priority. I have wished him happy easter and nothing, today I have asked him how’s going his thesis because he will get graduate and nothing. A But he promised me on his returnA back to the United States I would be the first media personality to interview him in New York City.A  I never will forget how confident he was that he would return victorious. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.
Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back.
Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you.
Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you.
I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him. So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery.
So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.
Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier.
A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue. And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words. About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps. A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used. You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature. There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back. But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want? It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back.
Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory.
To men, any sign of neediness or desperation, and make no mistake about it, begging and crying display those qualities, are a complete turn off. Men are very visual creatures and I am not going to lie to you, they will have no problem breaking up with a girl if they are… overweight, have skin issues or if they consider them to be too ugly. Because if there is anything I have learned in my years here on earth it is that friends are blabber mouths ;). You have his attention and now it is time for you to send him something positive that will fill him with good romantic feelings towards you.
He needs more space and you are going to have to wait some more time before you reach out to him again.
If you want to learn more about how to get your ex back then I suggest you visit my complete guide on doing so. Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn.
I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career.
Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second.
You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him.
Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead.
Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.
So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there.
So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do.
Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me. It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day. The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back. So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of. Of course, before I dive in to the good stuff there are a few things that I need to make you aware of. Of course, there will always be the oddball guy that is so pathetic that he actually feeds off of making women beg and cry but usually those are very rare.
Successfully completing the NC rule for a minimum of 30 days is going to take a tremendous amount of discipline. That means, if his friends think you are looking better than ever then he will eventually hear it and get curious. You can bet your butt that your ex boyfriend, no matter how bad the breakup was, will be looking at your profile. By waiting an hour the chances of him checking his phone for your response every five minutes is raised drastically.
Now, no matter what happens after that I want you to end this conversation thread with him by not responding.
Also, I am very involved with this site so if you leave a comment I will be responding to it. The conversations seemed mechanical, sometimes emotional but he never wanted to discuss what happened etc.
Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations.
I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back.
What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did?
Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course.
I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule.
Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship.
He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal. I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule. There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back.
So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back. So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days. So, what better way for you to show off the new you to him by taking a picture and posting it on your profile?
Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.
You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him.
So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you.
So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship.
I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs.
Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud. They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new. So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule.
In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen.
So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now. I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question.
It’s unfortunate too because the NC rule is probably the most effective tactic that you can use to not only get your ex boyfriend back but to get on speaking terms with him. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear.
I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you.
So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. I want you to show that you are in control of the conversation and you have the power, not him. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26. I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up. And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.


But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood.
So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this.
Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule. This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up. Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space. This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating.
One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. He used to initiate but for the past month, it seems like I’m the only one initiating. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule. So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you.
So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013. But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product.
I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back.
The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman. So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it.
When I initiate, he would respond late, the next day, carry on the conversation for a bit and then just stop replying me.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood.
I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home. He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done? I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place? It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. A My second week at the course I got in early and became bored while waiting for my homeboys.
Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. A My teammates and coaches were often challenged by my "Just give me the ball and get the hell out of my way" attitude. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that. A I was not the best athlete on the field or on the court, but I thought I was.A When the game was on the line I wanted the ball in my hands. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule. A A It was a hot evening and the constant in and out of the woods was not a pleasant undertaking. What I thought would be a nine-hole outing turned into eighteen holes and a White House visit and a Presidential appointment in 1969. General William Rogers, Hattie, President Nixon and HBA Petey and I would become great friends and in 1965 we would meet again.
A The United Planning Organization a self-help community organization was hiring "Neighborhood Workers." A They hired three, me, Petey and H. A Two years later Rap would be named Chairman of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee. A I would become a Roving Leader (Youth Gang Task Force) for the DC Recreation Department and Petey would find his new home in radio at WOL.
A Three UPO "Neighborhood Workers" would go on to establish their own independent idenities. A Petey would win 2 Emmy Awards and in 2007 there was a feeble attempt to do his life story on the big screen.
He is now in jail serving a life sentence for the murder of a black Deputy Sherrif in Fulton County, Georgia.
Brian McIntyre.A  He was sitting almost alone and there was no one waiting in line (compared to today's media circus). A  I looked down and notice that all the white media were seated on one side of half-court and all the blacks were seated on the other side of the half-court line.
He stepped in front of me and said "I got it."A It would be the start of the 4th quarter that Mark returned to the press table table and apologize for his unprofessional actions.
A There were other mistakes like someone thought a black Judy Holland was VP material---far from it. A It took a minute but in the meantime, he was making an effort to bring about change in his own way.
A But according veteran (32 years) sports writer Bill Rhoden of the New York Times, progress in sports media pressrooms around the country are on a slow boat to China.A His recent appearance on the widely acclaimed television news show Meet the Press, he said, "the NBA, NFL and MLB are still dragging their feet. Media pressrooms at Deadline are still the last plantations.A A Pioneering broadcaster and former NBA CBS basketball analyst Sonny Hill and now a sports talk show host on WIP Radio in Philadelphia said, "I am not surprised by Rhoden's statement, very little has changed in media pressrooms.
A One of the problems there is no networking among blacks who have moved it up the ladder." A That is an understatement. A  The copy rights for Inside Sports is own by News Week Magazine and it is own by the Washington Post.
A A First, there was a a problem with the PR Men from hell, Brian Sereno and Matt Williams. A A It was brought to my attention that Sereno was disrespecting the ladies of The Roundball Report. A The meeting was set before a Wizard's game in the press louge but Scott Hall was the lead man. A He listened and we disagreed on some points but when we walked away from the table we were on the same page.
A The community and everyone in it was a friend, the old and the young, the black and the white and the healthy and the lame. A I was honored to speak at his retirement held at the arena just before the Bullets moved to Washington and changed their name to the Wizards.A Denny Gordon was in ticket sales and it seem like he knew everyone who brought a ticket. A He was made the scapegoat after being sold out by his assisstant coach Bernie Bickerstaff and others.
A The meeting revolved around a charity all-star game scheduled for the Bahamas, the island home of NBA star Mycal Thompson.
A Magic Johnson was one of All-Stars participating.A Representatives from the NBA included VP Ron Thorne, Legal Counsel Gary Bettman and head of security Horace Balmer. A A Gary Bettman is the Commissioner of the NHL, Thorne is somewhere lurking in the NBA, Balmer has since retired and Magic is a role model for Black America? A A The short lived existence of basketball legend Michael Jordan as a Wizard's player and Executive in the front office.
A After the story broke he and several teammates made light of it during introductions of a game. A He was eventually suspended for most of the 2009a€“10 season.A The thing that I find disturbing about this Donald Sterling charade is that folks are acting like they were surprised by his rants against blacks.
A A I also notice the same "Old faces and voices" are called on to respond to the racist acts by men like Sterling---when they are a part of the problem . A He and Sterling were good friends because "Birds of a feather flock together." A  Check Magic's history out and you will discover the two have a lot in common. A Magic's claim to be a minority owner of the LA Dodgers is another sham (token black face). James Brown (CBS Sports) another mis-guilded brother claiming to be a minority baseball owner and an expert on racism. A He did finally admit on the late George Michael Show (Sports Machine) "I have no say in making baseball decisions as a minority owner." A His role as a minority owner is to be paraded out on Opening Day as the black face to read the starting line-ups.
A A This is the same Michael Wilbon that I had at least two recent conversations about the use of the N word as a term of endearment. A I have to give him credit, he will at least talk to me face to face and not behind my back.
A I tried to explain that his rationale that his grandfather's use the word as a term of endearment does not make it right today.
A I told him he should not go on national television saying it is okay to use the N word among friends and family. A It gives bigots like Donald Sterling the Green Light to do the same among his friends and family. A Plus, Michael told me he was not going to appear on the ESPN Show Outside the Lines because the white host had no horse in the race! A A I wish that Magic, James, Michael and the rest of the media experts would defer to black men like Hank Aaron, Dr. A But they wear the battle scars and have been on the front lines of the civil rights movement in real life and in the sports arenas of America. A In other words, they have been there and done that.A I guess that is wishful thinking, especially when everyone wants to be an expert on television. A In the meantime, they don't know their asses from a hole in the ground but the beat goes on and on. A Auerbach would go a step further in the 1966-67 NBA season, when he stepped A down after winning nine titles in 11 years, and made Bill Russell player-coach. A A trailblazers, RED AND DOTIE AUERBACHi»? ON INSIDE SPORTSA Russell would eventually be the first black to win an NBA championship. A There are far too many crying "Foul" and playing the victims in this charade, to include some NBA owners.A Let me start with my homeboy, the great Elgin Baylor who was the Clippers GM for over 2 decades. His teams were perennial losers on the court and in attendance, but he picked up his check every two weeks and kept his mouth shut.
A A In his deposition, Elgin spoke about what he called Sterling's 'plantation mentality,' alleging the owner in the late 1990s rejected a coaching candidate, Jim Brewer, because of race. A Talking about an organization needing a change of name and a face-lift---meet Leon Jenkins.A Jenkins seen above at a press conference trying to explain why the li»?ocal branch was honoring Sterling during the 100th Anniversary of the organization next month.
A A He explained the previous award had been approved by the man he replaced and he just went along to get along. A A Sterling won't be the first to sleep black and think white when it comes to sex, politics and money. Slave owners lived by the credo and in modern day history there was the late Senator Strom Thurmond. A Nike NBA rep John Phillips and I met with VP Rod Thorn, League Counsel Gary Bettman and Head of League Security, Horace Balmer. A The meeting centered around whether Magic Johnson, Mycal Thompson and a group of NBA All-Stars would be allowed to travel to the Bahamas for a charity basketball game without league approval. The game had been played in the Bahamas the previous year without incident or controversy.A It was obvious that there was a power-play being made by the league office to cancel the game.
Thorn open the meeting by asking who was going to be responsible if one of the players was hurt during the game?
A Magic suggested that the topic of conversation just might be centered around an injury to a player.
I tried to explain that playing the game was no different then one of the players participating in a pick-up game on a New York City playground in the off season. A What is this some kind of plantation?"A The room went silent and Horace Balmer the only other black in the room just shook his head and seem to be lost for words.
A Thorn called off the discussion and promised to get back to us but he never did.A In the meantime, Magic Johnson disappeared and changed his number. A Mycal was a class act but his hands were tied when Magic decided to do his Houdini act.A Gary Bettman now runs the NHL, Ron Thorn is still in the NBA somewhere calling the shots, Horace Balmer has since retired and Magic is the face (black) in the middle of the Donald Sterling charade. A When all is said and done, the real victim despite all of her baggage is the girlfriend (The Whistle Blower) V. A NBA Commissioner Adam Silver during his annoucement as it related to the punishment of Donald Sterling apologize to black NBA pioneers Earl Lloyd, Chuck Cooper and Magic Johnson.
A He reminds me of the controversial Celebrity Chef Paula Deen who alledgely use The N word to describe her love for black folks.
A  How should we expect her to know if she has never walked in our shoes ?A  When it is a part of your DNA it is difficult to rid yourself of the gene.A  A One morning I was watching Ms.
This award was longed overdue and I wonder why it took the NAACP so long to finally recognized Mr. Belafonte in accepting the award asked, "Where are today's black leaders?A  Our children's blood is still running in our streets---there is work still to be done.
The coalition stated it will urge President Obama to mention an urban jobs plan in his state of the Union speech on February 12th----Good luck! Ben Carson of John Hopkins University Hospital.A  His prayer and message was centered around health care, the economy, American debt, and tax reform, thus taking dead aim at President Obama's platform for the nation. Carson spend 25 minutes talking about the nation's ills and solutions with the President sitting less than 5 feet from him.A  When all was said and done, President Obama was not looking so Presidential!
Carson set the record straight from the very beginning.A  He made it clear he was not taking any wooden nickels. In 2010, he became that series' youngest driver and the first black driver to win a race at Greenville-Pickens Speedway.
A close friend of mine that has been partially paralyzed by strokes, pays for aids to "help".
If they show up, they usually just sit and do nothing, root through her jewelry and personal effects, and some have been caught stealing jewelry. One was there when she collapsed with another stroke, and instead of calling for help, she called her boyfriend and left, leaving her patient to manage on her own. It runs M - F from 10am - Noon and starting on Monday July 22 will repeat from 4pm - 6pm each day.
My opinions about Tiger Woods or any other issue are mine and I could give a damn about what Feinstein or anybody else things about them. In their prime at theA Washington Post, they were among the best sports writers in the country. A I was up close and personal with the sports department.A Kindred and Chad were talented writers but you could not trust them, Cornheiser and Feintstein's talent, they easily blended in with the landscape of the paper.
A Feinstein called Wilbon the biggest ass kisser in sports media, if that is true he had great teacher in Cornheiser.
A When Solomon tried to kick Cornheiser to the curve (fire him) in the 80s he was able to move to the Style section of the paper. A One black female Washington Post columnist wrote a book titled "Plantation on the Potomac." A She was describing her employer. A Hopefully, they were asked to participate and were of the same mindset as Wilbon not comfortable with Mr. A Goodell makes more than any player in the NFL and he never has to make a tackle or catch a pass.A The owners recent pay out to the players for injuries suffered on their watch was peanuts compared to the billions they make year in and year out.
A When he refused a request by his mother to cease using the word and a similar plea by poet Myra Angelo. Martin Luther Kinga€™s 1963 march on Washington and 46 years since his assassination in Memphis, Tenn.
With the high-scoring Macauley, elite passer Cousy, and new prodigy Sharman, Auerbach had a core that provided high-octane fast-break basketball.
In the next years until 1956, the Celtics would make the playoffs every year, but never won the title. Brown was desperate to turn around his struggling and financially strapped franchise, which was reeling from a 22a€“46 record.[5]A The still young but already seasoned Auerbach was made coach. A Nike NBA rep John Phillips and I met with VP Rod Thorn, League Counsel Gary Bettman and Head of League Security, Horace Balmer.A The meeting centered around whether Magic Johnson, Mycal Thompson and a group of NBA All-Stars would be allowed to travel to the Bahamas for a charity basketball game without league approval. A He was right on point.A To this day I think Magic had a previous discussion with the league office. James Gholson, Red Auerbach, Biff Carter, Jessie Chase, Morgan Wooten, Everett Cookie Payne Sr., Frank Bolden, Dr. Leo Hill, Roper McNair, Earl Alfred, Maxwell Honemond, Tilman Sease, William Roundtree, Charlie Baltimore, Jaky Mathews, Ferdinand Day, Nick Turner, Walter Brooks, Ted McIntye, and my saviors, Dave Brown and Bighouse Gaines.A  They knew their Xs and Os, but more important, they were there for our highs and lows.A  Where have all those flowers gone? We never could have made it without them.I have given up on the Pigskin Club, but keeping hope alive for the DC Recreation Department and the Roving Leader Program. BELL 12-25-1940---8-1-2013A A GOOD COP WHO BROKE THE CODE OF SILENCE IN THE WASHINGTON, DC POLICE DEPARTMENT. A The real Serpico is seen leaving the Bronx Courthouse alone after testifying before the Knapp Commission on wide spread police corruption in the department.
A In the old days police A would carry a "drop knife---an inexpensive weapon cops would bring along on patrol to drop onto or next to suspect that they had taken out so that they could say that he had threaten them. A Today you don't even need to do that; all that you have to do is justify the use of deadly force if you are a police officer is to say that you feared for your life, for whatever reason. If the victim dies, that just means there will one less witness around to contradict the test-lie.
A In the case of Officer Michael Slager of the North Charleston police, it appears he was being extra-carefulto cover his tracks. A Probably he could have gotten away with simply declaring, as he did in the radioed report, that Walter Scott "took my taser," and that would have probably have sufficed to exonerate him. A But Slager having shot Scott eight times in the back--as everyone can see in the now famous video--perhaps felt that he needed a little help explaining what he was up to.
A So apparently dropped his Taser next to Scott's body, which would obviously help to make the case that Scott "Took my taster."A If you think that what happen in North Charleston is a unique case, its not. A Only recently, in another case, a policewoman in Pennsylvania first Tasered a black man then shot him twice in the back as he lay face down in the snow.
A Unless honesty is rewarded more often then corruption, the police will lose credibility altogether. A I wrote a letter to President Bill Clinton in 1994 addressing this very issue, saying that honest cops have never been rewarded, and maybe there ought to be a medal for them, he wrote back but nothing change. A If enough testi-lying is uncovered, then who is going to believe the police even when they are telling the truth?
A A Until now the shoot first fear of my life mantra has eliminated any cause for concern in the taking of life by police.
A When a civilian committs a crime, every nuance is looked at, the better to "throw the book at" the suspect. A The other day I got a letter from a journalist in Argentina who was complaining about police and judicial corruption there. A I wrote back to him, there are good cops, even where you live, but if the good cops don't want to be painted with the same broad brush as the bad cops, they need to come forward and expose the guys who are doing bad things.
A Take New York City detective who was caught on camera recently abusing an Uber driver with threats and foul language, A This was truly disgusting behavior. Yet predictably enough the detective union leader, Michael Palladino, was out there making excuses for him, suggesting that, well, it was only one incident, and everyone has a bad day.
A Afterward Police Commissioner William Bratton announced he was removing the detective's shield and placing him temporarily on desk duty while an investigation is conducted .
A But this man needs to be demoted to uniform at the very least, or "back in the bag" as we use to say. A Imagine what he is capable of doing under the cover of darkness if he can talk to someone like that in broad daylight. A There are plenty legitimate incidents where police believe, correctly, that their lives are in danger. A I was in a few of those situations myself during the course of my career.A But unless the police forces and society as a whole take action we're not going to be able to distinguish between the legititimate claims and made-up testimony. A A long time ago Norman Rockwell painted a famous picture of a friendly neighborhood cop bending down to help a little boy.
A For example; I could name someone who is a great athlete but a lousy human being or I could name someone who is a great human being but not a great athlete. A Heading the list is Muhammad Ali (The Greatest), Red Auerbach (NBA), Dave Bing (NBA), Lenny Moore (NFL), Bert R.
Sugar (Boxing), Lee Jones (NBA), Roy Jefferson (NFL) and Harold McLinton (NFL), finding pro athletes like them today are far, few and in-between. A And that is a sad commentary when you think about the hundreds of men and women I have interviewed on Inside Sports and worked with as a youth advocate (Kids In Trouble).
Moore, LB Dave Robinson (2013 NFL Hall of Fame inductee) and WR Roy Jefferson host KIT toy party. A Sam Jones (NBA), Lenny Moore (NFL) and Roy Jefferson (NFL) participate in KIT clothing drive for needy children at Union Station.
A Bert Sugar (Boxing) receives KIT Life Time Achievement Award and Dave Bing (NBA) pays tribute to KIT Saturday Program All-Stars.I had the opportunity to hear an interview on Sirius A XM Radio (channel 126) on the Maggie Linton Show recently, her guest was NFL Washington Pro football player, wide receiver Peirre Garcon. A I have not been very impressed with todaya€™s pro athletes and their give back commitment to their family, friends and community.
A He has three older sisters making him the youngest and the only one born in the United States.His father died when he was 4 years old leaving his mother to raise him and his 3 sisters alone. A My background is similar to Peirrea€™s, my mother had to raise 4 boys alone with an assist from Grandma Bell.



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