How to get an ex back after two years

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The point I am trying to make is that when I was creating this site I didn’t ever dream that I would get women all over the world asking for my help.
For the past few weeks I have been compiling information to write a massive step by step guide that can help women who want their husbands or fiances back.
I am just going to tell you up front that this free guide will probably be better than 90% of the products or books that you would have to pay for. If none of the stuff above makes sense don’t worry I promise you it will after you read this page. I know that has to be the most hurtful words you have heard in a while but it is a reality that you have to face.
In order for me to do my job of significantly raising your chances to get your ex husband back I need a little something from you. Before I start diving into the reasons I need to explain why I put divorce and separation together.
Obviously a divorce is a much more hurtful form of breaking up with someone because things like (money, assets and children) can get involved. One of the most important things that you have to do before you start taking any action in getting your husband back is to look at the reasons that caused your divorce or separation in the first place. There are some situations where I think women shouldn’t try to get their husbands back if they cheated on them. If one of you was too lazy to put in the proper amount of time and effort that a marriage requires you are probably no longer together. It is interesting though, lack of communication can directly tie into the other (causes for divorce or separation) above.
Take out a dart board, a blindfold and a few darts because men are all over the place when it comes to divorce. Now, you may be wondering what exactly makes me qualified to talk about this subject when I have actually never been divorced before.
Through talking with this friends who have experienced it and watching them at various bars try to hit on women I can say I have a pretty good idea at what divorce or separation can do to a man. The jealousy turned into anger and I eventually just started picking fights for the sake of picking fights because I was so unhappy. Now, the big takeaway I want you to take from this section is that it is very likely that you will be blamed for the divorce. Nevertheless, I have seen some men who were serial cheaters blame their wives for their cheating.
While they both handled their divorce differently there is one common link that they both share, you can look and just see they are sad inside.
While I admit that he may have been a little buzzed from the drinks he proceeded to tell me his true feelings about his ex wife. Others in the group saw the man who was happy and hitting on women at the bar but I saw something very different that night.
Perhaps the most interesting thing about Divorcee 2 is how he reacted to the divorce six years later. Whether he will admit it or not the actions of his wife affected him on some very deep levels.
Now, I am not saying that this phenomenon happens to every married man out there but to the ones it does happen to something interesting occurs. The whole point I am trying to make here is that YOU are the reason this phenomenon has happened. Here is where things get really interesting though because this ties into the two divorcee’s I was talking about above.
Unfortunately, both of these men decided to go down path two but they did it in different ways.
Of course, in order for a self made ego boost to work he has to go out in the real world and show it off.
Divorcee 2 went down the same path as divorcee 1 except there was one big difference, he never tried the self made ego boost. His wife cheating on him hurt him on a very deep level and as a result he has sabotaged himself over and over again any time a woman shows interest in him. Now that you have a bit of insight into your ex husband we can start turning our attention to what you can do to get him back. Now, I am not saying my advice works 100% of the time but generally the people who follow it tend to have better results. It is sad to see but a lot of times what will happen is someone I give advice to that actually gets their ex back will end up breaking up with their them because they don’t know how to move forward.
In the previous section I talked about how you really need to set a goal if you want to re-attract him. In order to do both of those things you have to work on creating a new and better relationship with your ex husband.
Like most things in life you have to make some changes if you want to accomplish something big. The point I am trying to make here is that YOU are asking me the wrong questions and YOU are focusing on the wrong things. Now, before you swear off this site forever let me make my point and then you can make your judgement. When you meet someone new it is exciting but eventually that exciting feeling wears off and that someone new just turned into someone old. You hear all the experts telling you to “be confident” but what does that mean? I have found that the key to confidence is having the ability to overcome your greatest fears. Interestingly, our grades for the class weren’t solely in the hands of the professor. I don’t care what you say but it takes courage to get up in front of 50 people and hold their attention for 10 minutes. Yes, I wanted to be confident but in order to be confident I knew I had to capture everyone’s attention right off the bat. I wish I had the feedback pictures so i could show you that I am not making this up but I think I threw them away because this was about a year ago. If you are an avid reader of this site then you probably already know that I am really big into the no contact rule. The beauty of the no contact rule is it acts as a sort of time out where the two parties can calm down and think things through.
Generally speaking, the madder they get for being ignored the more they care about what you think about them. Limited Contact- A set amount of time where you will have no contact with your ex husband except for a few cases. High Points- Getting your ex husband back is all about the halo effect (I will explain that to you) and highlighting the high points of your relationship in the right way. First off, I bet you are wondering “why texting?” I mean, you were married to this person so why not just call them up?
The point I am trying to make is that if I were to try to explain how to get your ex husband back to you on the phone I might not be as effective because I wouldn’t be able to think through responses. Control the conversation at all times (this means you cannot put more effort into the conversation than your ex does. Before you can do anything to improve your chances of getting your husband back you really need to understand that this process can take some time.
The reason this text works as a good conversation starter is the fact that it is so interesting.
This conversation starter is a little riskier than the one above because you are assuming that you and your ex still have strong feelings for each other. Buffy Phenomenon- In order for a husband to come back to you (and keep wanting to come back) you need to highlight the emotional high points of your relationship in the right way.
This is kind of an important concept to grasp because it is going to tie into the buffy phenomenon and everything that we are trying to accomplish in this section so listen up! I am sure you all have that one friend who is always in a relationship with a really bad guy.
I was admittedly very worried about writing this in-depth guide because lets be honest, someone who is divorced or separated has a lot of headwind going against them if they want their ex back. You are going to use multiple (emotional) high points in your relationship with your husband to act as your super halo effect. All kidding aside the key to picking a good emotional memory to use lies with your ex husband. Over time as you employ this method I am hoping you realize how important story telling is.
First, notice how I told the other person that their heart used to beat really fast when they would see me? Then I want you to notice that I added a little something at the end of the first text message. Now, when the time came to send the second message I want you to notice how I appealed to this persons ego.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. My husband of 17 years, going on 18 next month, ran 4 States away from me and our 4 children on Valentine’s this year and stated that he wanted a divorce and no more obligations. His birthday was yesterday and he was supposed to come see the kids again, and he did start paying child support on his own.


I have told him that I do not believe nor want a divorce, but he’s determined that he is a man of his word.
I taught her owner of four months a desensitizing technique called “advance and retreat” that she could use to reduce Madison’s head-shy tendencies.
With Madison, I advance my hand slowly up her neck toward her poll and ears until I get to the point that she tenses up, when I find that point, I stop advancing my hand, but I do not take it away.
It’s a physiological fact that horses cannot tense up and drop their head at the same time. The American Quarter Horse Journal brings  its readers the greatest events, introduces them to legendary horses and people, and provides tips on riding, training, racing, management and health. When you walk out to the pen to catch your horse and you open the gate, the horse turns to look at you. The only way I can really release the mental pressure on Madison is to turn my back on her.
Another part of advance retreat is “pattern conditioning,” which is repeating a pattern over and over again. The one and only thing that makes somebody an effective trainer is the timing of the release.
Once I was able to run my hand up Madison’s neck to her poll without her tensing, I began working on her ears. Once the horse accepts my touching the back of her ear (I would have retreated quite a few times to get to this point), then I go to stroking the ear. The American Quarter Horse Journal brings readers the stories, articles, statistics and information they depend on for success in their horse business or hobby. When she’s OK with me stroking her ear, then I want to be able to stroke both the inside and the outside of the ear.
This is an important move because it causes an endorphin release; she’s going to get a little buzz off of it, and that’s a calming thing. It’s really hard when we’re training horses to not get greedy: We get the response we want, and we want it again, and then we want it again, and then we want it again.
Now you’ve got a big fight with your horse, and your choices are to either put the horse away on a bad note or fight with her for the next hour until she does it again. I just go do something else with the horse, rather than make a big issue of this one thing.
Thus, I didn’t even think about what a devastating situation that the women who wanted their ex husbands back would be in. If you really want the details behind the process I discuss on this page I highly recommend you check it out.
I will be doing this in strategic spots where I personally think that you will need more information in order to succeed. You are afraid that your ex husband is going to be out of your life for good so you came to this page because of that fear. However, for this guide to work you need to put divorce and separation on the same level for a while.
Below I have listed a few of the most common reasons that cause married couples to go their separate ways. Not only because it is like being stabbed in the back by someone you trust but research indicates that cheating is very common.
Those situations include: cheating multiple times, cheating with multiple people and cheating with the same person often.
However, if they knowingly cheated on you with someone else MULTIPLE TIMES then we have a problem.
There is a bright side though as this means you have a legitimate case for wanting your ex husband back. Relationships are all about communication and if you are lacking in this area then your relationship is probably lacking as well. While I will admit that it hurts my credibility a little bit I can say that I have a very unique perspective because I have friends who ARE divorced.
Of course, there are a lot of people that say that about women but the truth is I don’t think only women are crazy. Of course, every time I would pick a fight with her I would always latch on to something she had did wrong in the past making it her fault. While it may not be technically true I want you to develop a thick skin so comments or thoughts of this nature don’t have much of an effect on you. I think I am a different than a lot of people in one specific way, I see the world a little differently than they do. Before this point any time he would talk about his ex wife he called her every imaginable ugly name in the book.
I am sure if you asked him now if he is completely over his ex wife he would say he is but I see something completely different. As a result all of the ego boosts, confidence and sense of self worth will vanish and be replaced with sadness, grief and maybe depression. In the example above I talked about the two divorcees and how they handled the breakup of the marriage.
The two of you had your little inside jokes, you knew each other inside and out and couldn’t get enough of it! Of course, the ones that have tremendous results and actually get their exes back make another mistake, they pick up right where they left off.
Simply put, they are stuck in the past and think about their old relationship too much which in turn ruins their second chance at happiness.
After all, it is sometimes very hard to forgive someone who you were at war with for a few months or years.
This is why you see some people jumping from relationship to relationship (because they are obsessed with that newness feeling.) Now, I bet you are wondering how this applies to you since you were the one to lock down your husband. If you want a massive action to occur (like getting your ex husband to fall in love with you again) then you have to make massive changes yourself.
Small cards were passed around and students had a chance to grade and leave comments about the presenters presentation. If you can’t tell I am one of those people who when they get nervous comes extra prepared. I recommend it in almost every case I come across but for an ex husband is it still a good idea? This means no seeing them in person, talking to them on the phone, texting them or social mediaing them. There are some cases where going into NC mode simply won’t be possible because kids are involved and you will have to talk to your ex husband for some odd reason or another. So, I hope I don’t need to go into too much more detail now but if you have a short attention span (like me) and already forgot let me remind you.
If he is (then you just got your husband back.) If not, then I have something that you can do that will make him recommit but it will require more reading from you.
Now, I am going to teach you how to do it (in a sweet and innocent way) but first I need to explain a few things. The same can be said about trying to get your ex husband back over the phone, it will most likely not work because you really need to sit and think every move you make over. However, I am not going to go too in-depth into them because I outline them in the E-Book and throughout this site really well. Initially, when you begin the texting portion of this game plan your goal isn’t going to be getting him back. Once you have your ex husband hooked you can begin a conversation with him (a short one) and then promptly end it with some of the conversation enders that I talk about in PRO. You and everybody else can see that he is wrong for her but she refuses to see it, blind to all the negative aspects that he has. You see, the key to making this work is making your ex feel emotional about the memories you chose. This is where you are going to make a move to see your ex husband in person again and talk about your future potential relationship. You are calling to see him and you can’t make it sound like it is that big of a deal.
I’m more socially active now, whereas before I was very codependent and stuck in the house, never getting out. The 7-year-old sorrel mare had rope-burn scars on each side of her neck and a scar on her forehead from being hit with a shovel. It’s the same technique I would use to desensitize a horse to clippers, the saddle, a saddle pad, fly spray or a water hose.
I’m looking for her to come down slightly or for her to relax in any way, then I take my hand away. With Madison, I lay my arm on her neck, so that when she bobs and shakes her head, my arms is stabilized on her neck, and its just going to move with the neck.
It’s really important when you use advance and retreat to always turn your back on the horse and walk away to also release the mental pressure you put on the horse. If your timing isn’t right and you release when the horse tense, you’ve now trained your horse to be afraid of the stimuli.
This is when its critical to have your arm resting against the neck so when the horse shakes her head, my arm just kind of goes with her instead of hitting her. Then what happens is you ask one more time and the horse doesn’t give you the response you want. I’ll just back up and do something I know the horse can handle, then put her away on that note.


Perhaps you are a first time visitor just looking for something that is well written and can help you make sense of your situation. Well, about a year later I have literally communicated with thousands of women and helped a good portion actually get their exes back. You see, the longer my guides get the more they slow down my site and your experience here can suffer because of that. You don’t have to right now because I want you to grasp the things I talk about on this page first. Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets talk about some of the things that this guide will be covering. You are afraid you will say or do the wrong thing that will push him farther away from you. However, for the process that I am going to recommend to you on this guide they need to be treated as the same thing, a breakup. When I write for this site I always do my best to keep my own personal opinions out of the way. You have to make sacrifices, compromise and perhaps the scariest thing of all, you have to trust someone completely. For a couple who is married communication is even more important as everything you do can directly or indirectly affect your significant other.
At the same time a lack of communication could be occurring because one of you is having an affair. I didn’t focus on him much after that as I got to talking with some other members of our group. While I cringed watching divorcee 1 pick up women I just feel really bad for divorcee 2 because he hasn’t been able to make an emotional connection with anyone in six years. He either hates you (and you want him back,) you hate him (but still want him back) or you want her back (and she hates you.) I have worked with a lot of people over the past year trying to repair their relationships. Nevertheless, if you want this to work you really need to focus on creating a new and better relationship the second time around. By using their perspective about marriage I think I have a pretty good idea on what to talk about here. Maybe you let yourself go a little bit or stopped dressing up really nice for your husband. Of course, your situation is a little different since you know that at one point your ex husband was so attracted to you that he wanted to marry you! I took that specific college course because I wanted to overcome my fear of public speaking. Here is where things get tricky though, it takes work to be confident if you aren’t confident already.
However, since you were married to this person I recommend going three months without communicating. However, while you are building that rapport you have to also be in control of the conversation. In order for me to give you really good advice it can sometimes take me a while to think through the situation.
While I will be going in much more detail about that in the next section you can use this text message as a way to see how your ex responds to a good memory.
Well, that is because his one positive quality is overshadowing all of his negative qualities. This tactic can be very powerful because you can use it to suppress the negative qualities that your ex sees in you. Now, I am going to hit the pause button for a little bit because I am guessing that you may be a little confused. You have to pick an emotional memory that you know for a fact that will affect him on a deep level. They will think back to the times that they would see me and their heart would beat really fast.
It is important that you end the conversation after you send your emotional text messages AND get a positive response because you always want your husband wanting more. Not only will it help me in desensitizing her, but it will help her physically, too, because every time she drops her head, she relaxes a bit more.
Think of it as a bank account – every time you retreat, you are putting money in the bank if you are retreating at the right moment.
At this point, I’m just trying to see if I can touch the back of her ear with me finger or thumb. If I’m doing a good job on this advance and retreat, in one session, I might have retreated 50 or 100 times. When I do the stroking, I want to be able to stroke with my thumb in the ear and my index finger on the outside of the ear. As a result, I am not going to be able to include everything you absolutely will need to get your husband back.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? If you are going to have a good shot at getting your ex husband back you can’t be desperate. So, let me give you some background on his situation so you know what we are dealing with here. There is something magical about finding someone who you think you can spend the rest of your life with. Keep in mind, he was married for well over 16 years to this woman so being alone after that time is almost like being born again for the first time. While the women who he hit on were delighted, because he is not a bad looking guy, I knew the truth. However, the two of you are now either divorced or separated which is also kind of a big deal. When I finally do finish the guide and make it live the visitors coming to this site usually take a few days to devour it. The point is that men notice things like this which is why we are going to have to do something about it :). I remember being so afraid of presenting projects in class that I actually dropped a business course on the second day of the semester. I wanted to prove to myself that I could appear confident in front of graduate level business students (even though I was a humanities major with no real reason to be in that class.) I took that specific course because it literally had the same type of project that you would have to present at the end of the year.
However, with enough practice you won’t have to appear confident anymore… YOU WILL be confident!!
I was happy to help her but I ran into a problem, I noticed my advice was nowhere near as good as it was on this site.
You want to be friendly while you are in the conversation but you don’t want the conversation to last very long. Our first major setback was about a year into our relationship, he started texting another girl flirting and asking her to have sex with him.
So when I remove my hand from her neck, I don’t just pull the stimuli away, I actually turn my back on the horse and walk away.
While he did have newfound freedom everything he identified himself with ended the second his ex wife left him. Once they do, they have a lot of questions which show up in the comments or in my email inbox.
Well, because generally speaking couples who are married last a lot longer than couples who are not.
What’s important in pattern conditioning is that you only release pressure when you get the response you want.
The site has grown to such a size now (happy about that ?? ) that I will get anywhere from 100 to 120 emails and comments a day all asking in-depth questions. So, giving your ex husband more time to potentially miss you (but more importantly) giving yourself time to evolve into a super version of yourself is essential. So, in order to regain the confidence and sense of self he was used to in the marriage he created a self made ego boost. The more you keep them in suspense the more interested they will be in your next text message. Well, after feeling used, unloved, unwanted, and with how he was treating me and talking to me, even in front of our son, I left him. At first he would ask me to go out with him and his friends but I would say no most of the time so he stopped asking.
So, I took our son down to Texas for a month, long story short he came got our son over a year ago, he hasn’t changed, but I miss him, the way he was when we first got together, when we first got married. A month ago he said he wanted a divorce from me and that we were 2 different people and it wasnt going to work out. I would go with him to his roller derby bouts like he always asked me and I told him I enjoyed it and wanted to come more often. I told him I wanted to spend more time with him and that I felt it was unfair that he spent more times with his friends than with me. He got angry at this and said he didn’t think it was going to work out again and wants a divorce. He said he doesnt enjoy spending time with me anymore and that he feels like he can’t be himself when I am with him and his friends.



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Category: Winning Back Your Ex



Comments to “How to get a shy ex girlfriend back”

  1. Samirka:
    Upon my ex (still married) husband has now moved on about 2 months with.
  2. fghfg:
    She sees your effort, she and that she is just a close.