How to get an ex back after two years

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But when you boil it down, what my client really wanted to know is whether he should just throw in the towel.
The way he figured, if his girlfriend had called it quits with him due to some other guy, then the hell with her.
At least, that was his attitude in the early days following the revelation that she was wooed away. He really didn’t know because as soon as she mentioned that she was romantically involved with another guy, he just stopped listening. This kind of thinking and this sort of reaction to a failed relationship, particularly when it involves your girlfriend dumping you for another man, can just tear right through you. But then eventually the anger subsides and you find yourself thinking of the good times with your ex-girlfriend.
I call this type of emotional turmoil after being dumped by your ex girlfriend the “Dumping Grounds”.
I have had a lot of men come to me in this state of mind after being victimized by an Ex dumping.
A million things probably flood through your mind as you play out what happened over the course of the relationship.
So, this is what I mean when I said that it is natural for relationship success to ebb and flow. But whether you were “dumped” or “broke up” is really a matter of semantics and a circumstance of who initiated the act.
Usually, one of you will be sensing things are not working out or possibly both of you may realize things are going to pot. It happens, but in the normal course of how relationships are judged, getting dumped by your girlfriend because she is pursuing another guy is clearly a FOUL in my book.
Whatever the case, learning of her preference for another guy will usually come as a shock to you. As with most things involving relationships, there are no simple reasons why your ex-girlfriend ended up in another man’s arms. Once in awhile you might come across a girl who has a history of entering into relationships and then breaking them off. Sometimes you get situations in which the girl you were dating meets another guy somewhere else. And the truth is that you can never be sure exactly what is going on in your ex girlfriend’s mind. And believe you me, oftentimes your ex-girlfriend is pretty foggy upstairs about what is causing her to pursue her present relationship course of action. Don’t speculate about whether the “slimeball” has better physical attributes or is a better lover or has a better job or a better personality.
He took your ex-girlfriend away (at least for now) and if he was such a great guy, she would not have broken up with him in the first place (or he would not have dumped her). In fact, if you choose later to patch things up with your ex-girlfriend, the last thing you want to project is a demeanor of weakness.
I decided to compose a list to help you be aware of the things you should avoid doing or thinking about after being dumped. Do not, under any circumstance, contact your ex girlfriend in any way immediately following the “dumping”.
Do not try to intentionally sabotage her relationship (or whatever it is she has with this other guy) with this other suitor. If you “think” you may want your ex-girlfriend back in the near future, then don’t play the jealousy card in the early days.
If you eventually want your ex back, then just because she dumped you, does not excuse you to start dumping on her. In the time period immediately following the break up, you will likely not see much of anything objectively.
If you have faults that contributed to the break up, they are unlikely to hit your radar screen in the early days. Eventually, after you have traveled through some depressing times, you will arrive at some form of acceptance and objectivity. You also need to see things holistically before you make any key decisions as to what your really want to do. Seeing your relationship with your ex-girlfriend in a more holistic manner will be beneficial to you in seeing the bigger picture. You probably do not have a full grasp of why your ex-girlfriend dumped you for this other dude. When you see things holistically, the picture of what to do with your life comes into better focus.
After some period of time of recovery and reflection, you may arrive at a place where you realize it is not worth pursuing her again.
What I want you to do is put the spotlight on trying to become the best version of yourself.
As we discussed, being dumped by an ex is part of the natural course of how guys and gals figure things out. Yes, there are some exceptions to this rule, but by and large, most of these exceptions are pretty obvious, though sometimes it can get a bit complex given certain circumstances.
In fact, I am in the process of writing a comprehensive ebook, “The No Contact Rulebook”, that will get into great detail about how to optimize the No Contact Rule and deal with when and how to make exceptions. Oddly as it may sound, when you institute the No Contact Rule, you are actually doing something that will meaningfully enhance your chances of recovering your Ex.
Because we are so accustomed to being with the one we love, the forces that drive us to reconnect can be so powerful, it can cause the well intentioned individual to crumble and give in to their needs and impulses. These addictive forces are fed by the chemistry of our brain, so understandably, it is difficult for many to tow the line and avoid communicating with their ex girlfriend. Remember, she dumped you, so you will need to be extra vigilant about keeping your commitment to not break the No Contact Rule. To help you keep your commitment, try doing something symbolic to forge your allegiance to staying true to yourself.
Try running a few more miles than you are accustomed to running or lift a few more pounds than you have ever done in the past.
Whatever feat you choose to do, at the end of the accomplishment, take out a sheet of paper and make a declaration of keeping your commitment to not violate the “No Contact Rule”. Your symbolic gesture can be anything, just make sure whatever you do, it resonates in your mind. If you want to work your way back into her heart, you need to understand the difference between things within your control and those things you cannot influence. I would argue that there are pretty decent odds that your ex-girlfriend will discover, in time, that the “grass is not greener” and this “new guy” is not at all what she expected. It is hard to put odds on the likelihood of this happening in your individual case because to estimate such a thing I would need to know a great deal more about your relationship (e.g. Well, as we discussed, instituting a no contact period so you have time to recover emotionally and work on being the best version of yourself is one thing you can do. Creating an environment in which your ex-girlfriend wonders why you have not contacted her is also within your control.
Avoiding any efforts to go on any dates or “playing the field” is yet another signal you can send to your ex-girlfriend that indicates you are still potentially available. You don’t spend a lot of quality time with a person without it having an emotional impact on you. Now, you don’t want to over do it and make it out like you have turned into a party animal.


I would also suggest, in the beginning stages of the No Contact period, avoid playing the jealousy card. But toward the last few weeks of the recovery period, I would advocate you utilize some common friends to informally convey information to her that you “might be seeing someone else”. I also recommend you purchase my e-books, “Exboyfriend Recovery Pro” and “The Texting Bible” because these comprehensive publications will walk you through the entire process of attempting to recovery your ex-girlfriend.
There is only so much I can cover here, though I have given you some really useful prime nuggets of information. And one area that you will really want to gain greater insight about is how to utilize text messages to re-ignite her interest. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. When i was single there was someone who really adore me, and she really wanted me, but i was in a diffrent state of mind and didnt want any serious relationship.. 2 months after i left the job, i decided i want a serious relation and started talk to her, and we start to date..
After that break we meet once and few days after that she wanted a break, aftrr her break she broke up with me, and probably than she startedbto date this dude again, i am not sure if they atarted date straight from when we broke up or a bit latter.
Went in to No Contact immediately after the break up, and I tried contacting her a month later To wish her a happy birthday , but she blocked me for some reason. Hi there, I wass in a LDR with a girl from previous 6 months, we dated each other and travelled so many cities together.
After a few text exchanges all initiated by me and somewhat positive replies I tried calling. In mid Feb, after NCing her again for a week and a bit, I text some good news, she replied instantly.
She sent me a very nice reply saying she had moved on didn’t want me to hold back from other people (I previously let it slip I was going on dates with various girls and hanging out with a female friend she never trusted me with). She might have thought me as the weird one but I was killing time, revising my cv and just relaxing pre and post interview.
Two weeks later I went through the area, so trying to avoid a random meet asked her coffee, she replied positively – not agreeing but having a physio session and then work after (work was likely true) but had a mild text catch up about her. Previously I’ve attempted to reconnect without really being ready and probably seemed very needy.
Now however, I feel somewhat more secure in myself and that I’m similar but different enough to be able to compete with him in emotional connections. My current role caused a few problems in the relationship – in fact things started to go downhill almost as soon as I took it. When contacting her, shall I treat her exactly as I would an old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in a while?
Might seem a bit random messaging her now, especially with little changing in my day to day life to tell her about. But now, a couple of weeks have passed and my client is starting to think about her all the time, wondering if what they had before can be salvaged.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
And the harder you try to turn off these thoughts of your girlfriend dumping you for some guy, the angrier you feel. Yes, getting dumped is a form of breaking up and every break-up is painful, particularly if the couple have a great deal of themselves invested in the relationship.
Both the guy and the girl, no matter who did the dumping, will not come out the process completely whole. And no matter what, there will be some bumps along the way because we are all so uniquely different as individuals. It takes a while to resolve the compatibility issues and other problems that the relationship may encounter.
Seldom does a couple that look into each other’s eyes and calmly and lovingly agree that things are not working out and choose to part ways on friendly terms. And when things don’t work out to the satisfaction of one or both of the parties, somebody will dump the other.
I am quite certain that your girlfriend would be shattered if you had dumped her for another woman. You are going to roll it around your head trying to make sense of why she left you and took up with this other dude.
But my experience with these situations is that the truth will either been hidden from you or wrapped up in uncertainty. Even if you thought of the possibility, the reality of it actually happening to you can be jarring. There are some sleaze balls out there who will prey on women, even if they know they are taken.
But on occasion, a woman will be in a “committed” relationship with you, but will also be stringing another guy along on the side. Beware of trying to read the mind of a women, you will always fall short of the true reality of what is really going on. So don’t try to make these ridiculous and speculative comparisons between you and this other guy.
Don’t go out on dates or do and say things that would lead her to think you have completely forgotten her. The bigger picture of what you really want and what your ex-girlfriend may actually desire, tends to come into better focus with time. This means that you should do everything you can to avoid thinking about your ex girlfriend. If I was to venture an educated guess, I would say that about half of these situations turn out to be short lived….meaning that the two of you will be able to reconnect sometime in the future. But you want her to look at images of you or read postings you have authored, that reflect the best things about you. But if you are truly committed to giving yourself the best chance of reuniting with your Ex, then you need to get a lot smarter on the strategies and tactics. So many of my readers, who were on the wrong side of “being dumped”, were looking for details and examples of what they should say in all different types of situations. I had to call her from My moms phone, lets just say that she wasn’t happy taking my call. I had anxiety and depression and she would go out night clubbing all the time with her friends and do MDMA once in a while.
She had kissed a guy from work a few weeks before that and tried to keep the relationship going but it just wants working. One night I snapped and told her to stop, she said sorry but within a week couple of days started again. I then went way for 2 weeks leading up to Christmas and Non contacted her for 40 days into the new year.
She asked me to call within seconds – We talked for 45 mins, it was awful (and turned out she was deleting pictures of us on social media as we spoke!).
For someone that had moved on it seemed very odd to want to talk for a while and keep looking in.
If I am to meet a new girl or have a chance with my ex I need to be more settled, closer and have a bit more in the bank.
I have been contacting a few old friends from uni so as to practise this and expand my social circle. I am literally asked thousands of questions every day about how to recover one’s ex-girlfriend. If this is what is happening, then getting dumped is much more about your ex-girlfriend’s failings than your own.


Then as fate would have it (actually it’s NOT fate!) your steady girlfriend falls into the arms of this other man.
Your ex-girlfriend will immediately see through any efforts you make to try and break up the relationship she now has with this other guy.
Those actions will just cause her to strengthen her resolve that “dumping you” was the right decision. The problem with objectivity though is that it is sometimes shrouded in a cloud of uncertainty.
Maybe you arrive at the conclusion that the bond was not that strong in the first place due to the lack of compatibility. She tried opening me me up and asking getting me to trust her but it just wasn’t right for me, yet anyway. The days before we broke up I applied for a job away from she worked but wanted her to move with me (she’d previously worked in the area and would be a promotion), not called her back one evening to say good night after losing track of the time and been stressed at work so was ratty on the phone. As I sat waiting in the coffee place she kept walking around outside looking at her phone and then in the shop. I even gave her a couple of outs in the conversation but both times she lingered and then (as mentioned previously) I kept spotting her outside either typing on her phone or looking in – was that attraction or just shock and acting friendly? But rather, if your ex-girlfriend is broken up by what happened, it shows she still cares about you and just maybe, if things fall a certain way and you want her back, the two of you can make another go at it. But it is much more common and in fact, a natural process on the dating and relationship scene.
You need to guard against getting pissed off and saying mean and awful things to your ex girlfriend. If you and your ex girlfriend have dated for any reasonable period of time, then you have already formed a bond together.
Maybe you have only been dating for a few months and you figure it is not worth the risk of more emotional pain. Be sure that your social media postings reflect that “you”, personally, are “getting along” quite well. Left me some voicemails and even while I was in Vegas for my bros bachelor party she txt me which hadn’t in over a month.
Then the next day, you are wondering if she will ever come to realize she made a huge mistake and what you might do to get her back. It is like, “you tell me about your past boyfriends and I will tell you about my former girlfriends”. I want you to think of every negative word you might say to your ex girlfriend who dumped you as a “withdrawal” to your “trust account” you have with your ex. We sometimes have an insatiable desire to understand everything about our lover, even their past romances.
Some girls struggle with making a decision or are afraid to let their other relationship partner go.
Sexual human chemistry can bring two people together, but that does not necessarily mean they are meant for each other.
She still probably has doubts about whether she made the right decision to let you go and pursue this relationship with another man. So they get stuck in this limbo land where they care for you, but also care for this other man. Your ex-girlfriend will need to eventually discover for herself that the “dream” relationship with this new guy is really partly cloudy and stormy. But if you spend your time withdrawing that trust in the form negative and ugly comments or text messages, then you are making a huge mistake. Clearly, if the dumping occurred because you ex-girlfriend fell into the arms of another man and they ended up having sex, the sting of this betrayal will hurt. In fact, in most cases, I usually recommend the guy in this situation implement the No Contact Rule in which the period is usually 30 days.
Later, I will offer you some tactics you can employ that can indirectly help her with getting to that place in her mind. Way back in your mind, you might have even thought about the prospect of her hitching up with this guy again. In some cases you get this awkward triangle where all three parties in the relationship are confused and uncertain as to what they really want or what it all means. You will want to take extensive time away from your ex in the form of a No Contact Period to deal with this. But in no way should you forcefully and visibly try to break up her “supposed” new found love. What you end up doing will be largely based on how you feel after you complete the recovery period.
So we ended up kinda seeing each other but in the process of all that I ended up seeing her and another girl. Then, after some time of battling her “longing feelings”, she goes back to the other guy to confront those feelings and their relationship starts all over again.
The breach of trust becomes a secondary issue in your ex-girlfriend’s mind as she gives in to the the two different forces pulling at her. If you play your cards right, that bubble will burst all by itself and when she looks your direction again and sees a former boyfriend that has all his sh#t together, you will have her back in the fold.
But in this scenario, where you are dumped for one of her old boyfriends, it can be really painful as all of those memories come rushing back. Your advantage is that you are here at my website gaining some valuable insight that will hopefully give you a leg up on this other guy. Maybe I could have done something to avoid this from happening?” Look, it is not unusual to do a lot of second guessing when your ex girlfriend dumps you for her old flame, but the truth is no one can know if such a thing will happen. You can’t live your life worrying about every possible outcome or planning for every possible contingency. So maybe bout year anda half ago she still really wanted to be with me but I was adamant on our friendship. I started NC , but den she called nd message me for some project help.I did a wats app chat and again appologies and said sorry fot the last abusive night.
In fact, if you just got dumped for her old boyfriend, you probably already feel like you are going insane.
So i started my serious NC from 2 days ago, but she sent me message again regarding project on wats app, i didnt reply. If this sort of thing is unfolding in your life, just know that women, just as men, have all kinds of motivations for not telling you certain things. One other thing I haveta mention is I currently live at her parents house which makes it even harder. It does not change the fact that she is presumably resuming her prior relationship with this old boyfriend. She will talk to me when she’s came down to visit but as soon as she leaves she goes completely cold. Your focus should be on matters of what is more likely to happen and what you can do to get her back…if you want her back.




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