How to get an ex back after two years

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After a breakup, it's the most popular question that everyone wants answered: when and how should you contact your ex? The further removed you can become from your past relationship, the more of a reaction your ex will have. Breaking all contact with your ex boyfriend is a fast, simple, and effective way to get him to notice you again. Remember: although he may have broken up with you abruptly, your boyfriend was looking for a gradual withdrawal.
It's not uncommon for your ex to actually call you in the early stages of the break up, under one guise or another. Believe it or not, a lack of communication on your part will be pretty disconcerting to your ex. Think about it this way: knowing that you're still pursuing him gives your ex that nice warm, cushy feeling that he's still desired. In learning how to get your boyfriend back, understand that friendship is never the answer.
For a lot more details on this scenario, check out why you should never be friends with your ex. Moving forward, let's talk about reinsertion techniques you can use to place yourself back into your ex boyfriend's life.
Literally, this can take all of 10 minutes to do, but can be one of the most helpful things in kicking off the No Contact rule. Play catch up with a friend or family member then next time you are tempted to dial your ex up. You can change your ringtone for your ex if you don’t have the courage to completely delete them from your cell phone. Most people struggle implementing the No CONTACT Rule after a break up because they don’t want to let go of their exes. About Nina ApplebyNina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .
Not that long ago, I was in the same position as you, suffering from the pain of a horrible breakup. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career.
So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say.
So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness.
Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back.
Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right?
I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back.
Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice.
So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you.
I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on. But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it.
I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point.
My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that.
It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now.
But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule. So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will. Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts. The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front. If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally. Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule. So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome. And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. Pretty soon after this happened enough times I felt like it was a hassle to tell people what I did for a living because they are too overcome by their preconceived notions.
Society has beaten the idea that it’s next to impossible to win an ex boyfriend back into your head and I will admit that when I started this journey several years ago this is what I thought too.
First, I think it would be smart of us to study these preconceived notions since they bog so many of you down.
I have a story to tell you that I think will perfectly sum up what the general world out there thinks of breakups and exes. I started Ex Boyfriend Recovery way back in 2012 but it really didn’t take off until 2013. Anyways, the point of me telling you that fun little story is to teach you that most people despise the idea of getting back with an ex. In fact, I think I touched on this in my post on how to handle disapproving friends or family. After hearing this every day for a week from your best friend, doubt starts to creep in to your mind. You never possibly thought that you would find yourself in a position where you would be wanting an ex back. Nevertheless, deep down in your heart you know that exes don’t get back together and this makes doubt creep into your mind. Preconceived notions are a hell of a thing to combat but that’s what I am going to do today with this article. I thought the smartest way to go about this was to first give you a list of all the preconceived notions that I will be breaking down in today’s guide.
Now, for someone who teaches people to get back with their exes for a living you could see why I was interested.
The poll is a little flawed in the fact that they only asked 100 people if they have gotten back with an ex before. Yes, I have gotten back with an ex before meant that they have gotten back with an ex every time they went through a breakup. I mean that I am giving you all the tools to succeed and all you have to do is to use those tools BUT a lot of you find it difficult to implement my advice. 100 people were asked if they had ever gotten back with an ex before and 41 of those people answered YES. We get that but how much do you want to bet that the 100 people that were asked weren’t trained in the art of getting an ex back? Something tells me that zero of them actually knew how to get an ex back and yet 41% of them were able to succeed.
Apparently when 100 people were asked whether or not it was worth it to stay friends with an ex after a breakup the answer was clear, NO! Probably because they have their own preconceived notion that remaining friends after a breakup will lead to a re connection and they think that’s a bad idea. Wait, Didn’t 60% of people think that it’s not a good idea to stay friends with an ex? If we were to go out and do our own poll of the general population most men and women would say that it’s not a good idea to get back with your ex. Actually, I am not quite sure I can take full credit for what I am about to say since someone else taught me this but for the life of me I can’t remember who.
In other words, a person who says that they shouldn’t stay friends with an ex and then after a breakup they, as you guessed, stay friends with their ex is a hypocrite. I want to give you an example of someone who has fallen victim to the hypocrisy phenomenon. You see, I am of the mind that if a tactic will work on me then it will work on other men out there. Anyways, when people ask a question via YouTube you most likely will be getting a response from her. The woman keeps trying to get her ex boyfriend back (who cheated on her) and the ex boyfriend seems like he’s willing to play along. Now, when you are staring this situation down the barrel it’s not a bad thing that you have broken up with this kind of a guy. You see, when two people in the relationship get into a fight it always has the potential to evolve due to past fights. Lets say that you get into a fight with your ex over his inability to clean around the house. You got into a fight over him not picking up some simple clothes on the ground and that lead to your demise. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. So me and my ex met in 2014, we were friends for a month or two before finally dating for a year.
Also, the reason we broke up initially was because of another girl my ex had become friends with. Just one last question for now (I promise!): My ex and I broke up last summer and when I first contacted him after 40 days no contact things were going well, a little too well.
Just wondering, if while using push-pull theory my ex unexpectedly asks the same question again, how should I respond? My boyfriend and I broke up end of january and since then we have been talking on and off. On 21 November 2015 we had a big fight but he actually stayed over at mine that night after we talked and it was late. Then, he lost his job in December and he was really upset and stressed over it and his family was really harsh on him over that. Everything was fine while I was away, we texted a lot and talked on the phone and when I came back, he came all the way to see me at the airport. But two days later, while we were talking on the phone, he wanted to break up again and he told me about how his family had a lot of financial problems and that things were really hard for them. He’s also been texting me and sending me pictures and a selfie, asking me how I am and my opinion on things.
I’m really sorry that this is such a long post but I feel so confused right now and I feel really frustrated and I can’t focus on my own work because I can’t figure out what to do. You are used to talking to your ex several times a day and then suddenly, you are expected to cut off all contact.
Nothing says out of sight, out of mind like changing your relationship status on Facebook to single. The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out.
I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again. I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it. I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think.
It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having. Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from. The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that.
And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him.


I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him. Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods. Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make.
When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that strangers aren’t the only one with preconceived about getting an ex boyfriend back. However, after helping people with their situations  on a daily basis I learned that, that isn’t exactly the case and I have the statistics to back me up.
But then again, you have never met anyone who had such a hold over your heart as your ex boyfriend did.
I am going to take all three of the preconceived notions I mentioned above and turn them on their head. Now, lets assume that they came to one of my two websites (Ex Boyfriend Recovery (for women) or Ex Girlfriend Recovery (for men)) and learned all the correct rules for getting an ex back. However, I feel that a lot of times what happens in the recovery process is that exes do remain friends and ultimately use that as a springboard to get back together. Sure, maybe he will have a preconceived notion that getting back with you is a bad idea but as I have clearly demonstrated with the statistics above. So, most likely she will respond to your comments if you ask a question here on the website. I followed your advice and gave my ex and our friend the same amount of attention (maybe a bit more to his friend). My ex and our friend invited me out with them again this week, but I declined because I felt like they were inviting me to be polite and also because I didn’t want to seem too eager to see my ex again.
She was pushy and rude (I felt disrespected by her and the way she acted toward my then boyfriend as she would make flirtatious comments, etc.).
We have broken up two or three times before but we resolved it almost immediately previously. But the next day he brought up the fact that he was unsure if he could see us being together the next 30 years and we broke up over the phone briefly but we ended up deciding to try again. In early December I went on holiday with my family and when I came back a couple of days before Christmas, he wanted to break up again because he felt that he can’t handle being in a relationship and his career right now.
We had a big fight, which I admit was mostly my fault but we ended up resolving it and just enjoying the day. He said he had to attend a friends birthday as his friend was going overseas the next day and his friend lives all the way in the west near my ex’s own house. Just a couple of days later on 19 January 2016, he wanted to break up again and he said that he really could not handle the stress of a relationship and looking for a job, he said he felt like he could not handle it and there were a lot of tears and we ended up patching things up again.
He texted me the night before at around 4am saying that he was sorry and that he didnt love me anymore and he did not see a future with me anymore. He felt that it was all up to him to solve them and he said that he really could not handle a relationship right now because he felt like he had a lot on his plate. My gut feeling is that he does really love me but everything that has happened in his life is really overwhelming and he can’t handle being in a relationship with anyone now.
About 2 weeks ago on February 2nd (2 week before Valentines Day) we got into a heated argument which resulted in him breaking up with me through a text message.
I get a text from him asking me if he left his sneakers in the trunk of my car and that he needed them to go play basketball. This will give you a chance to think about someone other than your ex and your friend will think you are thoughtful and return the favor when you need it the most. It may be painful at first, but in the long run, it will put you on the right path to moving on with your life. Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women.
I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read.
Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for.
And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before.
I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method.
Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them.
If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you. Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation.
But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people.
It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that. I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode. Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting.
But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back. It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away.
So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things.
I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am.
Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it.
Anyways, I remember being super proud of what I was doing and I remember it was just mind boggling to me at the time that thousands of women were coming to my website every single day for advice on their situations. Just because someone has a preconceived notion about something doesn’t necessarily mean that their actions are going to follow their preconceived notion. Of course, after bringing it up for the thousandth time he is tired of apologizing and starts calling you names.
I don’t think I was ready to see him as I was under a lot of stress and I kind of blurted out that I wanted to date again etc and it was really messy. I told my ex that I might eat dinner with my friends at the airport before heading home and he was fine.
I was distraught when I woke up to that and I was really upset and spent the day with a friend to feel better.
He promised me that he would not date anyone else and that he would talk to me when he has sorted his life out and he feels that he is ready. I was excited that he text but super nervous; he’s texting me about some darn shoes!! You are going to need all the distractions you can when you are implementing the No Contact Rule in your life. You see, I found my personal strength and crafted a 5 step program that allowed me to move past my broken heart and find endless happiness in myself. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back.
Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you.
Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you.
I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it.
You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date.
As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.
Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating.
It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for.
But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up.
So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words. About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps. A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used. You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature.
There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back. But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want? It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back. Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory.
The names make you so mad you fire back and the next thing you know you are in a full fledged knockout, drag out, fight that ultimately leads to your breakup.
He has contacted me a few times…once asking if we we could be friends yet (to which I said no) and a few other times with school related questions (I answered, but kept the conversations brief and impersonal).
Our relationship generally was good, we did argue a lot but we solved and worked through our issues.
You just need to stop talking to him, distance yourself in the mean time and only talk of really needed..
We met to talk about things and we ended up not even talking about it and we watched a movie. He was really happy to see me despite coming all the way to the airport just to see me for about 45 minutes. But later on that night I went over to his place to sort of talk and break up face to face. He felt that he would be a burden on me and he said he loved me a lot and he couldn’t lie to me.
But I don’t know if I should wait because I don’t know how long it would take and I don’t know if he would want to continue a relationship after he sorts everything out.
There are a lot of things that you can do instead of stalking your ex through modern technology.
Working out can be a darn good one because most times you will need full use of your hands and that means they can’t be clutched around your cell phone.
We live in the same city and atm even if I wanted to I would move town but due to work commitments I just cant.
I am more than happy to share how I did it and explore with you what it REALLY takes to heal your heartbreak now! Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it.
But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn.
I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.
So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there. So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do. Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me. It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day. The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back. So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of.
Later on when I asked him about it, he said that when he met me he thought I was really cute and he missed me and that he could not bear to do it because he loved me. We spent the next few days together and we had a wonderful time, but I ended up crying a couple of days later in the car because I was really stressed about my own future because I’m not sure what to do and what career to choose etc.


I decided to agree to break up because I felt that he really had a lot going on in his life and I think he needed to figure things out. I was crushed and in disbelief but I stayed calm and replied telling him that I agreed to the break-up and immediately went NC. Next time you feel like grabbing your phone and texting your ex, go for a walk and leave your cell phone behind.
Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back.
What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule.
Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you.
Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again.
So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review.
Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship.
He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal.
I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule. There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back. So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back. So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days. In November 2015, I kinda messed up and said some pretty stupid stuff which hurt him and lead him to take a break.
There was a moment where we were bugging each other and I went to grab something from him and he held onto my hand for a good long moment.
He said that he still loved me but he felt that he was useless as a bf and that he could not be there for me and that he was not the same person anymore and that he felt that he was not good enough to be with me.
He also said that he could not even love himself right now and I felt really bad for him and I’m trying to give him space now to get a job and sort himself out. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much. Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule.
The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship. I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs. Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud. They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new. So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule.
In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once.
Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen.
So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now.
I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question. So we took a break for a month or so, and when that was done, he decided it would be best to stay friends. I don’t know if it meant anything special but it felt almost intimate in a way and it surprised me. He texted me at night saying that he feels really upset when he sees me cry and he hoped that I could accommodate him for these 2 months while he looked for a job and he could not spend so much time with me or look after me.
He said that it would be unfair for me to wait for him and he said that he wanted the best for me and said that I should move on. I told him his shoes were in my trunk and he could pick them up within the next hour or so because I wasn’t going to be home. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing.
To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you. So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have.
And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26. I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one.
For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule. This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up. Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space. This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating. One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. I do admit the few breaks he had was due to the fact I said and did stupid stuff which hurt him. But he does feel torn between us but would rather go with the flow than come back and jump from commitment to commitment. He told me a lot of really personal things about his feelings and he broke down too and I’ve never seen anyone look so defeated. He had previously applied for a job overseas and he was offered a position but he told me that he turned it down because of me. I played it cool, opened the door, greeted him with a smile and gave him the key so he could open the trunk himself to get his shoes. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though.
And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013. But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on. I texted him earlier today to say thank you for today and I need some time before trying to be friends. I was really upset and he said lets hug and when we hugged I couldn’t stop crying and we ended up deciding to patch things up again. I just kept thinking 2 years invested, down the drain and he breaks up with me by text with Valentines day approaching!!!!
With the look on his face I knew he thought I would invite him in but I didn’t and that gave me the confidence to control the situation.
I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response.
I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back.
The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman.
So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it. I stayed over that night and he said he was sorry while we were cuddling and that he would never let me go. We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple.
To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue.
I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home. He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature.
All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far.
Now, I’m not sure whether or not he will ever talk to me again or be friends with me. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done? I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place? It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys.
Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. When I opened it, he was holding a box of candy, a purple teddy bear (love purple!) and a dozen red roses. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that.
That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.



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Category: Getting Ex Girlfriend Back



Comments to “How to get your ex back with no contact rule”

  1. VAHID_BAKINEC:
    Work on fixing them then there is an excellent better probability that they your girlfriend to enjoy a second chance.
  2. KAMRAN_17:
    Try to make your ex really feel responsible, then you are going contact is just going to make them.