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Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. I ran head first into this parenting thing, and have gladly and gratefully let it redefine me as a person. She is trying to relate to you and be a part of your life – the life where all you do is talk about your kids. Unless you and your friend have some previous communication on this topic about how your little one is always welcome, assume the party is not kid friendly. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
Life Enthusiast.10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s March 20, 2014April 13, 201619 minute readby Mark Manson A couple weeks ago I turned 30. What were once close relationships can become sporadic meet-ups where you do your best to try to catch up with someone with whom you have very little in common anymore. Too often, we parents downplay non-parent's concerns by pulling ours out and tossing them on the table. If it were "kid friendly" they would have invited you AND your kids, and mentioned the awesome play room that they will have set up in the basement. For confidential support on suicide matters call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or visit a local Samaritans branch or click here.
Leading up to my birthday I wrote a post on what I learned in my 20s.But I did something else. By asking your non-kid having friends if their party is kid friendly you are putting them in the really awkward position of either MAKING their party kid friendly on the fly, or telling you that the party is NOT kid friendly which, then, no matter how low-key the party was intended to be in the first place, pretty much requires that they now provide a steady supply of hookers and blow.


So I promise to try and be more aware of how I say things, a better friend, and less of a fly. I sent an email out to my subscribers (subscribe here) and asked readers age 37 and older what advice they would give their 30-year-old selves. Sometimes, and this is what I've recently learned, it can alienate my non-kid having friends. So when "so and so" offhandedly, and perhaps awkwardly, tries to relate to your story about picking poo out of your bangs by comparing it to scraping dog shit out of the carpet, cut her some slack. Indicating to these people that having kids is the only way they will reach some higher level of understanding is both inconsiderate and rude. Your life may have a different purpose now, but your pre-kid life was an important part of your story, and your non-kid having friends are a part of that. And by less of a fly, I mean that I will not land on you, vomit on you, and then try to eat you. The idea was that I would crowdsource the life experience from my older readership and create another article based on their collective wisdom.
Don't dismiss that part of your life the way most people skip the foreward to a novel they really want to read. I am sorry that I was so consumed in my awesome parenting that I was neglectful and dismissive of our friendship. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life. The same 5-6 pieces of advice came up over and over and over again in different forms across literally 100s of emails.


It seems that there really are a few core pieces of advice that are particularly relevant to this decade of your life.Below are 10 of the most common themes appearing throughout all of the 600 emails. Start Saving for Retirement Now, Not Later“I spent my 20s recklessly, but your 30s should be when you make a big financial push.
Understanding boring things like insurance, 401ks & mortgages is important since its all on your shoulders now. I would have been more diligent about a retirement fund, because now mine looks pretty small.” Gee whiz! And then there were the readers who were just completely screwed by their inability to save in their 30s.
Her career took a turn for the worst and now she’s stuck at 57, still living paycheck to paycheck.
They later got divorced and she soon ran into health problems, draining all of the money she received in the divorce settlement. She, too, now lives paycheck to paycheck, slowly waiting for the day social security kicks in.
One woman emailed me saying that she had worked low-wage jobs with two kids in her 30s and still managed to sock away some money in a retirement fund each year. Because she started early and invested wisely, she is now in her 50s and financially stable for the first time in her life.



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