How to get an ex back after two years

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However, if I have learned anything from my tenure here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery it is that what people say and what people do can sometimes be completely different things.
Through this page I am going to show you exactly what you need to do in order to leave your ex with feelings of regret. I know that what everyone on this site really wants is a step by step plan tailor made to help them get their ex boyfriends back. One of the biggest concerns from visitors to Ex Boyfriend Recovery has to be if their ex boyfriend would even consider a reconciliation.
Of course, what you say in public, or on the internet and what you know to be true can be completely different. So, when I started reading all of these forum comments of guys saying that they didn’t ever regret letting their exes go I got curious to see just how many of them were searching the internet for advice on how to get their girlfriends back. In the example I gave a few sections above I literally proved that there are actually more men regretting letting go of their exes than women. It all seemed so fun in your head yet after your breakup things aren’t going exactly how you thought they would go.
The Quick Way- Essentially regret will kick in 1-4 weeks after the breakup of a relationship. Well, when you date someone for close to a year you get used to talking with them every single day.
I want you to imagine that in every relationship you get into with a man you are going to be given a number between 1 and 10.
The only problem with that is the fact that sometimes men don’t realize how good they had it with you.
Now, I want you to imagine that he dated another girl and she doesn’t compare to the standard you set. Right now the goal you are shooting for is to become someone that your ex would regret letting go. It shouldn’t come as a shock that men are attracted to beautiful and intelligent women.
If I were to take these two women and line them up against a wall and ask random men to meet each one of them separately something tells me that most of the men would choose the intelligent woman over the non intelligent woman for a long term relationship. Throughout my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO you constantly hear me talking about the Ungettable Girl. Because if a girl is like this then that means she isn’t going to be overly available to a man. So, the first big thing I think you need to realize is to STOP making everything in your life about your ex boyfriend.
Every woman who I have advised to master the art of moving on to create an opportunity to get their ex back has been given an opportunity to get him back. Now that you have the basic principles down one pressing question remains, when do you put all this moving on to get an opportunity into effect? If you have never heard of the no contact rule then I am just going to let you know that it is an ESSENTIAL part of making an ex regret leaving. The no contact rule is a widely accepted philosophy that after a breakup you should enter into a period of no contact with your ex. However, if you have some weird circumstance where it’s not possible for you to complete the 30 day period then just run it by me in the comments section of this page and I will get back to you within a day and give you some help on what to do. I can tell you that as smart and clever as I am when it comes to dealing with people it drives me up the wall when I know for a fact that someone is ignoring me. When I started this section I talked about how the no contact rule can work on two fronts to incite regret. Getting an ex boyfriend back is hard work and most of the women who fail on here fail because they are lazy. Look, you can’t expect to just do the no contact rule and wake up one day to have him at your doorstep. In other words, you need to use that time of solitude to become someone that he will regret.
Remember, life starts at the end of your comfort zone so it is time to step outside the comfort zone and make yourself into the best version of you that has ever existed. So far, this whole guide has been about one thing, making an ex boyfriend regret his decision to leave your relationship.
Many of you probably think I am going to give this huge monologue on power and how you must always have the upper hand but I promise that this isn’t a mistake because of not having the power. Now, I know the two of you are broken up right now but if you think back to your relationship were you constantly talking his ear off? Now, lets fast forward to the present where you are bombarding him with text messages and calls.
With every text or call bombardment by you, you are further cementing his position that he is glad that the two of you don’t date anymore. However, every time you break no contact to selfishly feel better just to talk to him you could be damaging your chances at making him truly regret letting you go.
While it has opened up my life in many different ways it has also forced me to dissect every little thing that happens in my personal life.
But for me it is literally like torture because I know whats happening while its happening and I can’t do anything about it. Because you waited so long to respond I was constantly checking my phone for your response. Can you imagine what would happen if you got a guy used to a certain schedule when it comes to texting you and all of a sudden you interrupted that schedule? The second a guy feels that he has something to lose (which would be you in this case) is the second he realizes just how much he cares for that something or someone ;).
I guess the ultimate trend is that you have to have moments where you are very available to a guy and then suddenly become unavailable and then swing back to available and then back to unavailable and so on and so forth. I guess the question on the table right now is how do you implement this trend to re-attract your ex boyfriend? I would like you to take a moment and revisit the section I wrote about on the no contact rule and how it can help you.
You want this to happen because if he gets antsy about you contacting him it means he wants it to happen deep down.
Remember, the point of this is to spread your interactions out so you leave him wanting more. One of the biggest mistakes I see women make after the no contact rule is going from zero to sixty way too fast.
Yes, the ultimate goal we are trying to achieve here is to put you in a position where you and your ex can chat all day long without a hiccup. So, the smartest way is to slowly work your way to a point where you can talk for a long period of time throughout the day. I am a guy so I can tell you that most men daydream and usually when we really daydream about a girl we like it can be a powerful way of igniting our true feelings for that girl.
One of the most powerful ways you can re-ignite your exes feelings for you is through the power of daydreams. In other words, you are going to cast your daydream bait out there and hope he bites the line and starts daydreaming about a future with you and him in it. The daydream that someone would want their ex boyfriend to daydream about if they were to use this particular text should be a romantic getaway in Hawaii. If you don’t leave your ex boyfriend wanting more during an interaction with him (texting, calling or in person) then that interaction should be viewed as a failure. Well, the idea is to really get them hooked into what you are saying and then all of a sudden end the conversation…. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. So after a year of dating, my boyfriend and I slowly started getting distant because baseball started for him and track and work took up a majority of my schedule. Last Sunday, No Contact finished, so I decided to send an interesting text… no response.
So the next day, I send a heartfelt message saying how I apologize again for how things went down and that I wanted to start over and sent hopeful wishes that his semester is going well.
So later on that day or the next day (I forget), I respond say I’m doing well and ask how his work has been. So then I skip a day because it was the third day and respond the next day (Friday, saying how I really like the album and I ask how he’s been), no response. My boyfriend of six months dumped me a few days ago because he didn’t fall in love with me, but he said he loves me and cares about me. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle.
There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right?
I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example.
We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it.
I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point.
My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule. So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will. Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts. The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front.
If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally. Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule.
So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome.
And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive.
Imagine if you could be such an influence on your ex that you could make him choose to come back to you. I am sure that you have probably spent an hour searching for one and then you came across this site and saw that my guides were insightful and helpful. I called it Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and basically put all of my knowledge down for you to absorb. Many of these sources were forums full of women asking men if they ever regretted breaking up with their exes. Saying in public that you really regret letting go of your ex girlfriend can be perceived as a weakness but I know enough about the way relationships work to know that a lot of what men say publicly is meaningless. That means that every month about 9,900 women are typing that particular phrase into Google. In other words, statistics say that more men than women actually regret letting their exes go. I think the best way I can explain this to you is to explain the regretting process of men.
I remember after I broke up with a girlfriend I started regretting my decision a bit later I think it was predestined though. One of the biggest problems I think that women have when it comes to getting an ex back revolves around how much effort you put into getting him back. I love the effort I really do but the fact of the matter is that you are putting your effort in the wrong place.
Both of these women were considered to be the same level of attractiveness except there is a huge difference in personality between the two of them. In other words, the guy is always having to work to get her attention and while many guys whine about the chasing process deep down we all kind of like it. I know that is a weird thing to say for a site that specializes in reuniting women with their exes but it’s almost like you have to train yourself to NOT want your ex boyfriend.
You still want your ex boyfriend back but you have accepted the fact that even if you do everything right things might not fall in your favor. If you are faking moving on then it is really not happening and you are more likely to be insincere. However, experience has taught me that nothing should ever be set in stone and there are certain situations where 30 days isn’t practical.
If you are able to lull a men into a sense of false security where he is hopeful for the future and can see happiness with you and then you sweep the rug out from under him something amazing happens.
In other words, as long as you do the no contact rule with no breaks it should stir up some type of regret within your ex boyfriend. When I first started this site I was a little afraid to speak up and hurt your feelings so I let it slide but I am not like that anymore. There are things that you can do that can cause an ex boyfriend to NOT regret letting you go. While there is still a lot more to cover on that subject I think it can speak volumes to look at some of the most common mistakes people make.
It’s not like you are doing anything too crazy like throwing a rock through his house window.
I am not saying that this was the reason he broke up with you but it was an annoyance that factored into his decision. You may feel something inside of you that tells you to talk to him because he is your “best friend” right? In this section I am going to literally teach you what you need to do to make any man regret leaving you. Believe me, if it was easy then every broken hearted girl would have the ability to wrap a man around her finger.
However, if you are willing to put in the work then I assure you that you are going to put yourself in the best position to get an opportunity to win him back.
Yes, I am going to literally tell you how you need to interact with me in order to get me to fall for you. For example, if I really like someone I try to figure out exactly what they did to make me like them.
Now, I do feel it is important to hit the pause button here so I can explain exactly why I chose to use an example of us meeting for the first time. Lets say that the two of us found each other attractive, we talked for a few hours and exchanged numbers so we can stay in touch. This is a really good sign because any time that you can get a guy to check his phone for a response it means that you have value to him in someway. I know it is a messed up game to play but it’s worked on me every single time and its worked on billions of other men too. Actually, lets move on so we can see how we can apply this new found trend to your ex boyfriend.
One of the hidden aspects of the no contact rule is the fact that it allows you to ramp up the tension. Well, you can’t leave your ex boyfriend wanting more if he knows he can have you all the time. However, it is more powerful if you do it the way I am trying to show you as opposed to doing it right out of the gate. If I go on a date with a girl I like and I am so enthralled about my dating experience with that girl that I daydream about her when I am trying to fall asleep then that is a really good sign for her because it means that the next day I am going to wake up and the first thing I think of will be her. You get a fishing pole, put some bait on a line and then you cast that line into the water in the hopes that a fish will bite the bait and get hooked on your line.
Notice how it is not specified if it is you or your ex who will be taking this trip to Hawaii. Eventually we barely hung out and I understood he was genuinely busy because of colleges, baseball, and having guy time with his friends. In hindsight I should have lengthened the response a bit more to seem like I’m busier.


The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else.
I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.
You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date.
So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating.
You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up.
She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it. I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think.
It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having. Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from.
The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that.
And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him.
I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him. Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods. Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make.
When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what. In essence, I suppose it can be argued that this guide is all about improving your chances of making an ex want you back which is what almost everyone on this site wants.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Heck, a lot of people have already succeeded in trying to get their exes back through my guides.
Of course, as I predicted above most of the men that chimed in said that they didn’t. Now, obviously if a breakup occurs the number that you were given has fallen below a satisfactory level.
We are always obsessed with getting the newest things and sometimes that carries over into our relationships. One thing that I constantly notice about these type of women is the fact that have more in their life than men. So, while you have hope alive you don’t want to be caught in limbo land so you start doing things to kind of move on. The point of this exercise isn’t to tell you that you have no hope or anything morbid like that. Every single one who has done this successfully (that I have heard back from) has always said to me that their ex started chasing them again. I am still a fan of the 30 day no contact period so if it is within your power to complete one I would say to complete it. Instead of walking home depressed and with his tail between his legs, you sweeping the rug out from under his feet will create this sense that he lost something and this sense makes a man realize how much he really liked you in the first place. When the two of you were first dating he was probably on the edge of his seat for every text response. With this in mind you are going to have accept that fact that you may have to make some major changes and put in some major work.
I can’t promise that you will succeed but I can promise to raise your chances substantially. After a while I started to become hyper aware of these trends that women do during interactions that work almost every single time. The reason I did this as opposed to using one where the two of us are imaginary exes is that I want you to grasp the concept first. In other words, your ex boyfriend is almost expecting you to become annoying and beg him to take you back at some point. You want him to wake up the next day and be checking his phone every five seconds hoping that you will text him.
So, the day after your initial first communication (which wasn’t supposed to last all that long) I want you to enter into a full no contact mode for a day. Now, you have waited 30 days for this moment and now that it is finally here you just let loose and we talk all day long. Well, the fishing analogy holds true to what you are going to be trying to do with daydream bait.
But eventually it got to the point where the love he gave to me was vanishing and I became very needy and sad. Lately we’ve been fighting over everything and one day the fight was large and he told me the doesnt love me like before and he wants to break up. Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation.
You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it.
Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read.
Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for.
And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart.
Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method.
Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean.
So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you. Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation.
But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people. It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that.
I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode.
Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting. But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back.
It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away. So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things. I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it. However, as time went on I found that people wanted more and more of these step by step guides.
Now, maybe when you were planning the breakup of your relationship in your head you thought it would be a good idea. It is only until he goes out into the world and experiences the horror that is other women (who are not you) that he will finally realize what a mistake he made. It isn’t impossible that a long lasting relationship can become boring and sometimes if a guy feels like this he may want something new. Look, I totally have your back when it comes to getting him back or making him regret letting you go.
You see, more often than not these type of women really want to feel loved by a man but their whole life doesn’t revolve around that principle. The point of this is to put you in a position where you have an opportunity to reignite a connection and the best way to do that is to show your ex that your world doesn’t revolve around him. For example, if I were to be invited to a party and meet a very pretty girl I am sure that I would like her within minutes.
However, somewhere along the way it changed and he started getting annoyed with all the attention he was getting. While the texting between the two of us commences we are going to have a long conversation.
So, when he sees that the opposite is happening, you ignoring him, he begins to get antsy and may even want you to message him a little bit.
I would always mention how things were different and he apologized and said he would work on it better.
T was cousins with a guy I had an one night stand with so I thought it would be weird is I had a relationship with T and I didn’t try anything. The first 1 month, there was no contact between us but he felt that I want him back from my posts on facebook and told my friends that he doesnt want me back. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it.
You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him. So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying.
Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast.
I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date.
The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words. About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps.
A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used. You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature.
There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back.
But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want? It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back. Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory. Maybe you thought that you would spend all of your time with your best friends hopping from bar to bar meeting new girl after new girl. It is a period of complete silence where you don’t talk or respond to your ex in any way shape or form. Now, that doesn’t mean I am going to date her because I am smart enough to know that there is more to a relationship than just sheer looks. Eventually I said we needed a break to breathe and figure things out which he disagreed and said we could work it out. But all of a sudden, one day he called to tell me he slept with someone and hence not sure of his feelings towards me. When I knew I stopped my posts on facebook and deleted our pictures and deleted his number from my whatsapp so I show him that I dont care. Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it.
But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it. Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy.
Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.


So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there. So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do. Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me.
It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day. The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back. So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of. So, every interaction I have with her after the initial meeting is going to shape my perception of her. I did this for 3 weeks after that he called me because he knew that my father is in hospital so I sounded cool. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back.
What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule.
Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again.
So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review.
Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship.
He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal. I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule. There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back. So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back.
So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days.
He added me on Facebook and we talked there a few times, we met again without arraging it though and we teased each other. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him.
So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much. Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule.
The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship. I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs. Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud.
They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new.
So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule.
In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen.
So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now. I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question.
So, maybe the next day I decide to send you a text to say hello hoping to have another amazing deep and insightful conversation. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery.
We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk.
You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you.
We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear.
I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you.
So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. And so we talked on the phone, got everything out and he genuinely seemed like we would be together again. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have.
And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one.
I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26. I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered. But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule. This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up. Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space. This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating.
One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. Suddenly prom tickets were going to be on sale and he said he didn’t know if he wanted to go with me because everything was confusing right now. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though.
And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule. So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013. But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on.
He told me I should go with my friends because he thinks I would have a better time with them and he said he wasn’t sure if he was going to go but if he did he would ask another girl. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you.
He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman.
So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well.
I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood. Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date.
Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. He said nothing about it besides why I didn’t tell him earlier and a few days later we were at a bar each one on his own and he texted me to say he liked me too but he was scared of the distance (because I was leaving) because he just got out of a long distance relationship at the start of the summer. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue.
I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home. He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature.
I got so upset because I would be there with my friends while he would be with his date and it made me so mad. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage?
And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far.
A senior boy then asked me to prom and i said yes because one it would make him jealous and two I would have sometime to take nice pics with and just have a good time with a friend.
Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories.
He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done? When my ex found out about the senior he deleted all our pictures except for one from prom last year and unfollowed me on Instagram and Twitter. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. It literally broke me because I feel like there is no way of getting back together because he unfollowed me. I texted him the other day (it’s been like 3 weeks since the breakup) just to ask how baseball was going and he responded within 30 seconds and sent long paragraphs about it and asked me how track was going. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. The convo lasted 30 minutes and I told him I had to go to bed and I’d see him the next day. I got back for Christmas and a friend that was his friend too told him he was about to make a move. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.
And I’ve been going out more than usual with my friends and having a great time with them but I have moments where I just get sad and miss him so much.
We texted all day long and we met once outside his house for a quick kiss because he just came from work. I told him to come with me and my friends for coffee but he was already out so we said to meet up later. He didn’t answer the next day when I called him to meet up and discuss this so I went to find him. I asked him to tell me why he did this and he said I didn’t deserve to know because I spoke to him badly.
When I asked him why he did kiss me if he wasn’t sure about it he said that he wanted to be sure and now he is. After one more time I accidently saw him we didn’t see each other or talked to each other for about a month and a half. About two weeks ago I went to the hospital and when he learned about it from a common friend he showed he cared about me for the first time, not to me though, to our friend. Now I’m in my home town for the holidays and I walked by his shop a couple of days ago with some friends.
We stopped a little further to take something to eat and we saw him crossinf the street twice looking our way. Later I found out from my best friend that happens to be sisters with his best friend that her sister asked her a lot all that time when I was going to go to my home town and that means he asked. Even though I am still in love with him I don’t want him back right now but eventually I will, I just want him to realise he did wrong and what he lost and come back begging. My bff told me to be friendly but not to much, distant but not mean and not to show my feelings to him.
She says that when I meet him I should said hi and even talk to him a little, just the basics.



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Category: Winning Back Your Ex



Comments to “How to make boyfriend regret cheating on you”

  1. ETISH:
    Broke up about somewhat content unfold.
  2. NATALIA_ORIERO:
    My spouse flat fell in love with my daughters.
  3. PassworD:
    And get again to being who you're here is that you do not must depth (both.