How to get an ex back after two years

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Even if your boyfriend is completely over his ex-girlfriend (and we hope he is if he is with you) sometimes it’s tough for us to avoid comparing or even asking questions about HER, and if she is still in the picture ie., they are still friends, then getting over that relationship is even tougher. If you need to ask questions about his ex for some reason then keep them specific and brief. If you are feeling a little insecure about his ex then don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your boyfriend. I still believe he loved her more than me, he lost his virginity to her when he was 19 and she was 16, I found all these songs and poems he wrote about her, he’s never looked at me the way he looks at her, it was his first love, and all the things my bf is doing to me in our relationship is the same thing that happened in theres im really worried, should I be? I can understand how seeing all of the comments on Facebook would be unnerving to you – which is why we frequently address how to “handle Facebook in your relationship” in our blogs but maybe it’s something we should address more. Regardless, it sounds like this situation could use some good communication and I will do my best to help without knowing more specific information. The reason why I suggest this approach is because only we as individuals know truly what our motives are and whether they are innocent or not. This edition of Monday Man-Day is all about the baggage our guys have: Psycho Ex-Girlfriends. Option 4: Ignore it completely and be confident enough to know that your guy chose you and you have nothing to worry about. I am 36 attractive, professional, successful, educated and tons of fun (you know, the type of woman that seeks your advice) and I am in a bit of a relationship predicament.
Dream man turns out to have one maybe-fatal flaw, and his fate rests entirely in your hands.
The intense highs of blinding chemistry are like a drug, and we crave the drug – even when it brings out the worst in us. The Pedestal Principle: once you put someone up on a pedestal, he is immediately looking down at you. I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. It’s possible that you could be on to something, but I think your analysis is reliant on a fair amount of conjecture, and it is very Red Pill in its origin.
Not really because I was very attracted to my ex in high school I was with him for years, but the problem was that he was very insecure with himself { I should have seen this as a warning sign} which eventually made him become controlling and very clingy to me when we lived together. In my own personal preference, it has minimal to do with attraction and pretty much everything to do with Behavior. A few months back, we were having a wonderful Saturday together, it was the first beautiful spring weekend and we were taking full advantage, we went on adventures, he did romantic things, we made out in the shadow etc but at the end of the day his constant touch was beginning to be a bit much. I was reading this post and it occurred to me that perhaps Jessica thinks he is extremely clingy because she is not at the point where she likes him as much as he likes her.
Am I going to be the first to suggest that Jessica’s BF needs to seek professional help, whether it’s a doctor or a head shrinker, or both? And like it or not even if you haven’t had to deal with an ex-girlfriend in one of your relationships sooner or later you will have to and we are here to help you through it! Remember the reason for the question and if it doesn’t serve a real purpose to know then don’t ask. Let him know that you are feeling a little insecure and allow him to reassure you that you are the one he loves and not her.
That can be crazy-making for you and will come out in some way shape or form in your relationship.
You mentioned that he is your boyfriend rather than fiance; was that just because the engagement is new or are you actually formally engaged and have you set a date? My typically consistent feedback when it comes to relationships is to have open communication.

So if you only tell him how you are feeling, he (knowing that it means nothing to him) will just tell you not to worry. I respect that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that offering differing opinions can stimulate healthy discussion.
Please always feel free to let me know what you are thinking, but please do so in a kind and helpful manner. I am trying to casually date and not take anyone too seriously, and WHAM a super amazing guy lands in my lap just a bit too soon for me to fully appreciate him. He not only wanted to spend every waking moment with her, but when they were together, he constantly draped himself all over her, to the point where she would have to physically push him away while telling him flat-out to leave her alone. I had a boyfriend who I was initially attracted to as well, and he’s still a very attractive man.
If you are intensely jealous and freaking out over her with your boyfriend that will definitely be a turn-off.
It doesn’t make a significant difference technically but it can when it comes to setting boundaries with ex’s etc.
I find it a bit weird that a couple of my current boyfriend’s ex girlfriends have added me on Facebook though. Any comments that are deemed to be rude or hurtful with no opportunity for positive outcome will be removed. He is everything I have always wanted, kind, whip smart (mechanical engineer), cute, fun, silly, well-traveled, successful, minimal baggage (no ex-wife and no kids, but wants them) and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet when we are together. And it’s one of the interesting things about being the CEO of your love life; you’re in complete control, you make rational decisions, and it’s not nearly as exciting as being a lovesick puppy like your boyfriend. I think we’ve all been in such situations where we are so intoxicated by another human being that we give away all semblance of control and self-respect – because that’s what we’re really feeling. So the constant attention he gave me was wayyyyyyyyyy to much because I knew where it stemmed from. But he was immature, clingy and controlling with anger outbursts, which does not fly with me at all, considering i’ve already had those experiences in my past and it immediately turned me off.
My boyfriend is wonderful and treats me in a way that I only dreamed of before but he definitely adores me and needs my constant affection. Show him that he doesn’t need to be insecure around you and that you love him deeply.
He was so excited to see her and was so happy and only paying attention to her, and all the sudden boom they are best friends now. The easiest way I have found to get the other person to “really hear you” is to ask the other person to put themselves in our shoes. But if you take it one step further and have him imagine himself in the same situation, specifically, with another guy like your ex, then he will no longer just try to reassure you because that probably wouldn’t be good enough for him either, if he were in your shoes. I’m the type of person who could see one facebook message or text and take it to a whole other level (I think its because I watch so many soap operas haha!) so I just spare myself the anxiety. I enjoy his company and the physical relationship (behind closed doors) is GREAT (for me, anyway). I call it the Pedestal Principle: once you put someone up on a pedestal, he is immediately looking down at you.
Let him know that you love him, appreciate him, and have never been happier with a man – but that his nerves aren’t serving him well.
You’re not telling him to stop saying he loves you; you just want him to relax and enjoy the safe space you’ve created together. Most of the time this is not a problem but even the best things in life, like ice cream or affection, can get you a little sick after a while.

She likes and comments on EVERYTHING from statuses to pictures to recent activity on facebook.
In essence what I’m saying is that when you are officially engaged and have set a date it becomes a little easier to set boundaries regarding contact and visiting ex’s. The important part is that he feels SAFE; you’re not threatening to dump him or putting his head on the chopping block.
I have talked to him several times about it including that it makes me very uncomfortable he is talking to her, and that he is talking to her more than me (he tells me he’s busy but texts her non stop). Every picture he’s in, or anything that had something to do with him on his moms, brothers, or sisters page she’s commenting or liking! That said I think we both know that we can never really tell extended family members whom they can and can’t visit.
Tell him how you are feeling and that you’re not accusing him of cheating but that all of this “ex” contact is creating feelings of jealousy.
But all I feel is suffocated….what is my problem and how can I address it with him in a sensitive way? I couldn’t have any time to myself without him literally being right beside me the entire time. The less you know the more curious you may be but that doesn’t mean you need to go on a quest to find out more information about her or her relationship with your man.
I think that issue will pass in time, but it is making him increasingly insecure around me, and resulting in him acting even more clingy outside the bedroom. He should want to do so – and if he can’t, then you have a much tougher decision to make down the road.
Don’t beat yourself up for having the thoughts you have, they are just harmless thoughts that are perfectly normal. Point out that if he was with a woman who was similarly tethered to him, he might feel smothered, too. Allow yourself to have them but then let them pass without trying to figure out the answers. However, that doesn’t help make it go away so you need to continue explaining how you feel. This may seem tough at first but eventually you will stop thinking about her as you continue having a great relationship. Did I mention that she’s also married and had a child??.or that they only dated for 3 months?? Ask him to picture himself in your shoes and imagine that your ex was frequently tagging photos of you on friends and families pages, and that your ex was planning on visiting them, and that your ex was saying that he can’t wait to see them etc. It was a VERY exhausting relationship that eventually ended because it became increasingly worse.
He seems to be over her, although he did have a couple phone convos with her very early in our relationship, for his birthday she called. Chances are when he imagines that, especially since guys are so visual and their worst nightmare is another guy around their girl, he will probably get where you are coming from – he may even have a visceral reaction when it comes to imagining your ex involved in your life in any way.
I don’t actually think he will cheat, but just the thought of him talking to her burns me up!

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