How to get an ex back after two years

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About Zayna StyleI got the idea to create Zayna Style to share not only my love of fashion but to help people develop their own sense of style. For example, a boy who is 16 years old is going to have a different view of relationships as compared to a man who is 36 years old.
I can’t tell you how many times I have encountered a situation where the man is significantly older than the woman and the woman comes to Ex Boyfriend Recovery looking for a way to win her man back. Is the process of getting an ex boyfriend back the same if there is a pretty big age difference between the couple?
In the introduction to this guide I made a pretty interesting point about age difference.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
A boy who is 16 years old is going to have a different view of relationships as compared to a man who is 36 years old.
If you want incredible insight into your ex and the age difference between the two of you then it’s probably a good idea to first take a look at the stage of life that your ex is currently in. So, as a result I am going to be taking you through the different phases of life that men go through and how it correlates to their age.
You may have also noticed that I put the ages that correspond with the phases under the titles depicting the phases.
As usual I am going to take a moment (a long moment) to explain what men are thinking during these four different stages. The best analogy I can think of to describe this phenomenon would be like when you learn a new skill for the first time. Well, the very first time you try to dance you probably aren’t going to be very good right? Most people aren’t going to be the best they can be during their very first few relationships.
Because he probably has to experience more in order to learn how he should treat women properly. The good news is that men in this age range (16 – 19 years old) tend to be more open to a reconciliation.
In other words, you probably won’t have to try as hard if you want to get your man back.
Old School is about a group of older men (Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn) who go back to college, form fraternity, relive their glory days and essentially have some of the wildest parties ever.
Neighbors is about a young couple who have just had their first child and bought their first house.
This means that most young men in that college age range (20 – 24 years old) tend to gravitate towards wild things like parties.
Men who go out partying every night probably aren’t the best candidates for boyfriend of the year. I think it’s safe to say that I have a lot of experience in dealing with relationships. Sure, going to a party here and there is always good for spicing things up but for the most part the two people in the relationship are so dedicated to each other that they treat the relationship like its the most precious thing in the world. Now, I don’t know about you but a guy who goes out partying or clubbing all the time is putting himself in a position where he is going to be hit on by other women, where he may hit on other women, where he can get drunk and make a fool of himself and where he can cheat. I believe in doing things in the best manner that you possibly can and if you are going to attempt to get him back when he is in this phase you need to be aware of what you may be getting into with your ex if he is in this phase.
He is going to want to go to parties.  (If you do get him back make sure you accompany him to these parties. You see, after college most men start their careers (or attempt to start their careers.) Well, this is when they try to get more serious about the rest of their life which of course includes relationships.
Here’s the thing though, there will always be a certain segment of men who refuse to abide by societies rules of getting that 9 to 5 job, a white picket fence, getting married and having a couple of kids. They probably want to do well in their careers and have matured enough to take relationships more seriously.
Some men will take these issues head on and overcome them while others will hide with alcohol and more parties to make themselves feel better. My point is simple, the post party phase is really what matures boys into men and that is a really good thing because the majority of men do end up maturing into something special, someone who is ready for a lifelong commitment. Did you know that the average age for a man to get married in the United States is 29 years old?
So, why is it that during the “ready” phase that a man is looking for a serious commitment?
I think a lot of factors have to line up perfectly for a man in order for him to feel like he is ready for a lifelong commitment like marriage. What I am about to say is going to be a bit controversial and some of you may not like it but I feel like a lot of men think like this so its important that you know. Essentially you are making a promise to someone that you are going to remain committed to them for the rest of your life. In order for a man to feel like he is ready to get married he has to feel like he has lived his life because the second he says his vows to you in his mind his life is over in a way.
When I say his life is over I am not talking about him going into some marriage jail where you are the jailer. If he feels like he has lived his life and had some fun when he was younger he isn’t going to go into a marriage with any regrets. For those of you who are too lazy to click on the link I just provided (which I am betting is most of you) the grass is greener syndrome is basically something that men and women can get when they think they can do better than their significant other. This in essence is what the grass is greener syndrome is, it’s this feeling in the pit of a guys stomach that tells him that he could do just a little bit better than you. So, this begs an interesting question, for men who have the grass is greener syndrome does it ever go away? As men date around or gain more experience they begin to get an idea of what they want in a relationship.
Back in caveman days men were looked at as the hunters and women were looked at as the gatherers. While the human race has become a lot more civilized the principle that men are supposed to be hunters still holds true in a weird way. When you run a website about breakups you hear a lot of stories at how things went wrong in relationships.

The overall point here is simple, between the ages of (28 – 35+) men are starting to settle into their careers and become successful. In order for a man to be ready for a serious relationship or commitment like marriage he has to want it. Look, I can only draw upon my own experience here so I am just going to tell you how I feel about serious relationships and commitments like marriage.
Most men are afraid of families for the simple fact that it is going to be a shell shock going from their exciting single life to their boring family life.
I don’t know though, while I do like excitement and things of that nature I almost feel as if the boring family life is nicer in a strange way. Look, a lifelong commitment like marriage can be a scary prospect since it essentially means that your life is going to be committed to one person until you die (assuming no divorce happens.) Well, that thought can scare the hell out of a lot of men. He never wavers and won’t be afraid to end relationships with close friends who are women if they make his significant other uncomfortable.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. I have been on and off this site for the last 3 years (since my ex and I officially broke up).
The question is, is it okay with if he doesn’t spend much time physically and talking anymore? My boyfriend(30) and I (28)broke up recently, we moved in together quickly because I was in a hostile living environment where I was. He says we need to focus on ourselves, neither of us have the career that we want or need right now. I have a job where sometimes I have to work in the AM, he is a night owl and wants to play music until 4am in our bedroom, obviously this does not work. I’m wondering if maybe after I move out and we spend some time apart if he will mature enough so that we can get back together?
I just read your article and have realized my ex boyfriend is not ready for a serious relationship.
Hi Chris, Should I treat a “cooling off” like a break-up and employ the NC rule?
I wish he would come to his senses now rather than be like every other ex in my life- who all realized what they had but by then I was not interested. Do none of you realize that while you are out there discovering how wonderful I was, so am I? I’m 29 and my ex is 48, depressed, twice divorce, and has 2 kids (14 and 17, part-time custody).
Anyways, my ex and I were in the middle of one of our break ups when he decided he would move out of state– he had been thinking about taking a 2 year job and is moving back after. For a little over a month I have been so sad when I talk to him, but I don’t tell him because I know nothing is going to change in regards to him wanting to get back together right now. The other reason i am doing no contact is because I hate being in love with (what he calls himself now) a friend.
In addition to selling clothes and blogging about my finds, I offer personal shopping and personal styling services to women looking to take the plunge into a deeper aspect of themselves. Of course, it will also be the first time that he encounters feelings like lust, jealousy and love based anger. However, after some practice you are going to get better and better at it until eventually you grow so confident that you kind of consider yourself an expert.
However, after they gain some more experience through dating or watching others in similar situations they learn what it takes to succeed. The problem is that the house that they bought turns out to be right next to a college fraternity that is known for having the wildest parties on campus. Instead of jumping from girl to girl like they used to do in their party days they begin to take a quality approach as opposed to a quantity one. The older gentleman is drinking, hitting on much younger girls and doing everything he can to relive the glory days. Yes, YOU are making a conscious decision to tell the person you love more than anything that they will be their one and only until death.
No, lets take things a step further and say that you were the best girlfriend that I have ever had. Of course, with experience in dating comes knowledge and with knowledge comes the realization that no one is perfect.
They are starting to gain some independence financially and probably feel like they can provide for a family. I talked a little about this in the post party phase where men want to hold on to their old tendencies and refuse to mature. He doesn’t seem to think he can have a girlfriend and concentrate on finding stability at the same time. He said I was his soul mate and apparently he bought me a ring which I have never seen, he broke up with me a few weeks ago, I am moving out in a week.
He also likes to go out a lot whereas I’m more into staying at home, cuddling and watching a movie. Out of the blue he broke up with me claiming he fell out of love, he kept contacting me, and i did give in, however this last month has been a solid month of NC (3 months since initially breaking up). He said she is moving away to a different country, and finds her difficult to be with (clearly he’s not happy and has grass is greener syndrome). I don’t know how serious I can take his claims, considering when we broke up he was seemed certain he didnt love me.
Well I’m really angry based off of a last conversation we had 4 days ago (after 5 days NC and has my property and not by choice). We met when I was 21 and he was 39- our relationship in the beginning was not one based on love. So since no contact has worked in the past for me, I have initiated no contact again as of Monday (it is now Sunday).
I felt I have dramatically grown in respect to emotional maturity and how I go about communicating. So i am doing no contact because I would like to take time for myself and eventually start dating again if he does not come around.
However, when it comes to relationships age is a way in which you can gauge how experienced and mature a partner is.

Well, this guide is going to be focusing on the overall process of getting your boyfriend back and giving you some insight into how you should handle your age difference. Asking someone who is experiencing these very intense feelings for the first time to sustain a long and healthy relationship can be a very tricky task. Craziness ensues as the couple tries everything they can to get them banned from the neighborhood. You want to know the thing that I have learned about people who have successful relationships?
In fact, sometimes his need to hold on can become so bad that he will find that he has turned into the creepy old man at a bar hitting on college kids. Daily stresses like bills, workplace dramas and any other number of things can pile up and cause men to react in multiple different ways.
When he marries you he knows that, that part of his life is over as YOU essentially become his life. However, throughout the relationship I couldn’t shake this feeling that I could do a little better than you. While more women than ever are entering the workforce in order to lend a hand to finances a mans belief that he has to be the one to provide still holds strong. He still says that he loves me and he acts like we’re together -cuddling, kissing, etc.
How do I go about developing into his best friend and over time when he is ready maximize the opportunity?
If its because of financial then he could just be taking time to try to set up your life together. Had a big fight coz of his drinking problem and he walked out on me n didnt come back til 2 days later.
He contacted me, and since NC was over i replied, we talked for a bit, but he admitted he was seeing someone else, but was still in love with me.
Right now, his ex is not following the parenting plan, which has made my ex very depressed, as all his money goes to food and all his time is spent with his kids.
However, our relationship developed from a partying relationship to a committed relationship after about 2 years. I just don’t know if after the no contact period, if i should even speak at all to him. He has always hated me drinking and I have become way more settled now than I have ever in my life. In fact, he is so resistant to this maturing that he will do anything he can to hold on to the way things used to be with all the booze, girls and parties. Aside from us both finding stable careers, what other steps need to be taken in order to achieve this?
You can try the NC and see if that provokes him to change but remember most changes that are forced usually end up back to normal after a couple of months. He came back n we talked n he said sorry and things seem okay again til i found out he went to see his ex when he was drunk the day before he came back. Even after these two years though we were on again off again because I had some emotional trauma from childhood that I was dealing with in an unhealthy manner.
We went away about a month ago and I got drunk and when we came back he asked me to give up drinking for the rest of my life. I’m not even into the whole getting married and having kids things necessarily although I do like the idea of some sort of symbolic ceremony to represent our commitment to each other. I think he just got scared and dumped me, but he has since cut off all contact, defriended me and started going out a lot with other people. He said he wanted to break up because he wanted to party, go out clubbing, dating sites and have one night stands. They are really great kids with great heads on their shoulders ?? I can’t have kids, so J took them in as my own when we were together. Fortunately, I have been able to move beyond my bad habits but have little trust for men, and am not sure I ever will be able to fully trust a man (which sucks because I KNOW there are amazing men out there- it is just engrained in me). But, one of the issues that I am facing is that he tells me that a relationship isn’t his main priority, as he is trying to get his life sorted (career wise). Also, if you have it in your gut that he is a good fit and he has not seen this, does this mean it was never meant to be? But he said he feels bad about what he did coz he never thought he would ever cheat on me especially coz he always said im the woman he wants to marry.
But I have been so down because I ask him if he wants something more right now and he says no because he is in a different state and tells me he does not want me to feel like I am being controlled- because that was one of my ugly habits that I would think he was controlling me (due to my ptsd) and I told him I felt he was sometimes. He has said things to me like, i could always find a job or go to school in the state he is living in. He told me it was over because I couldn’t commit to that so I left, I waited for him to contact me after three days, he asked me how I was feeling and then I just said I’m sorry, I miss you and I will do as you wish, you win, I quit! I felt anxious because he left so many times so I would question him about comments he would make. He would come over often to see our son n i made a mistake by letting something happen between us a few times tho we’re not together. He wasn’t really reply back to me, then he messaged me saying he needs to focus on school and work, he just started a new job and is studying after work for school. I did the wrong things and tried to beg for another chance and make him understand that it was my behavior due to fear not my personality. During the time we were together he was very affectionate to me very attentive to me, whenever i needed him he was there. Something happened again 3 days ago n the next day i decided to start NC he’s texted me 3 times since then.
So I went to get my things and ended up staying the night asking him if we were ok he just said we need a break and I told him I loved him and he said I love you too.
He ended up breaking up with me by telling me that he was frustrated with the fighting, he needed to focus on his career and his future and he wasn’t sure where I fit in at this point. How do i keep doing the NC or should i keep doing the NC even if we have a child together n he’s going to have to come n see our baby anyways?

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Category: Getting Ex Girlfriend Back

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