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Divorce is stressful, from divvying up the assets to determining custody arrangements and untangling previously tangled lives. But sometimes the best way to live a stress-free life during and after divorce is to simply let go of things you can't control. Click through the slideshow below to see what they had to say, then head to the comments to share your favorite quote or saying about moving on. It's a huge honor to be a maid of honor or a bridesmaid, and you'll experience many fantastic moments as a member of the bride's VIP circle.
Dilemma #1: You're asked to pay for a bridesmaids dress you can't afford, and everyone else seems fine with the price, so you don't want to rock the boat. When the bride shows you a few dress "finalists" to choose from, ask if you can speak with her privately.
What to say: "These bridesmaid dresses are all very pretty, but they're more expensive than what I can afford.
Don't be afraid to speak up: You may regret it if you don't, especially if you find out afterwards that all of the other bridesmaids thought the price was outrageous, too, but no one was brave enough to say anything!
Dilemma #2: You're asked to help pay for the bridal shower, and the requested amount for your contribution is much higher than what you expected. What to say: "(Insert bride's name here) deserves an amazing bridal shower, but I can't afford to contribute (insert $X amount here) for (insert restaurant name here). Dilemma #3: The other bridesmaids have their heart set on a girls' getaway, but it's simply not within your means right now. If it's the bride's wish to plan a girls' getaway to Vegas, don't panic just yet: resorts have group packages that can be very affordable, and discount travel sites can turn up low-priced airfare.
Dilemma #4: You're being asked for your opinion way too often, and you don't know how to handle the endless barrage of text and email chains. Before you get upset, consider that the maid of honor is responsible for including everyone. What to say: "You're working really hard on the wedding and doing a great job of including us all.
Dilemma #5: The maid of honor or other bridesmaids never include you in the wedding-planning process.
Dilemma #6: You or another bridesmaid tries to run the show, so you end up stepping on the maid of honor or bride's toes. If you're the bride or maid of honor: "I know that you have good intentions, but I'm starting to get some complaints from the other bridesmaids, and having to tell them you're really a sweet person. If you're the bridesmaid: If you're the recipient of this "talk," don't fight back with excuses or complaints about how nothing would get done without you. Dilemma #7: You or another bridesmaid is an "outsider" who's having trouble fitting into the bride's social circle. Dilemma #8: The bride wants one thing for the shower, but her mom wants something completely different, so you're stuck in the middle. When moms are included in the bridal shower plans, they often help save the bridesmaids money--that's one perk to keep in mind if she's being a royal pain in the you-know-what. Your primary loyalty is to the bride, though, so when her mother pushes for something that's completely different from what the bride wants, take a deep breath, be calm and confident, and tell her the bride's wishes that were relayed to you. Don't complain to the bride about her mom's pushiness unless she truly acts out, like calling the caterer to change the menu that you and the other bridesmaids already set. Dilemma #9: The bride is so preoccupied with the wedding that she never asks you what's going on in your life. If the bride is obsessed about the wedding plans, or she's in the blissed-out early phase, that topic owns 99.9% of her brain right now.
This should make the bride realize that she's been too "all about me" not just with you, but probably with other people, too. Dilemma #10: The bride can never make up her mind about what she wants, and it's affecting the bridesmaids' plans. It sounds like the bride is overwhelmed by too many options and she doesn't want to make any mistakes that she'll regret. If she's still leaving things until the last minute: Gently remind her that the bridesmaids can't start on their tasks and fulfill them well if they're waiting and rushing around for her to make up her mind. When she finally decides on something, tell her to stop looking at Pinterest wedding images from that category!
No matter who your parents are, there are a few things that you can do to drastically increase the chance of having them say "YES" rather then "NO." Drastically!
Parents love to pretend they are cool and collected, but in reality, they are very predictable. So much so that I guarantee that if you read the tips below, you can improve your life in several ways! Nothing gets you a faster "No" from parents than giving them a feeling that they owe you or that you "deserve" things.


So, when you ask for something, use an equal amount of gratitude and an equal amount of asking.
The point is not to trick your parents into thinking you care; the point is that appreciation spreads good will, which will certainly come back to you. One thing your parents care about, whether they admit it or not, is how they appear to others. This request sounds appreciative, responsible and like you're a kid that knows the value of money. The main thing you will need to prove to them is that you're mature enough to deserve that thing you want. If you show that you want to contribute to the family and don't resent your responsibilities, you will start to be seen in a whole different light -- a more grown-up light. This will give Dad (or Mom) time to consider what you want, and also make you look more mature by showing that you are patient enough to wait a day for the reply. Setting the stage for any question you want to pop is a key to increasing the odds for "Yes"! Your persistence will most likely not be annoying or be regarded as questioning your parent's authority; It will actually be seen as an adult way of taking responsibility and going after what you want.
For more tips, get three chapters of my upcoming book, How to Get Your Parents to Agree with You on Almost Everything, free!
No matter who your parents are, there are a few things that you can do to drastically increase the chance of having them say "YES" rather then "NO". Parents love to pretend they are cool and collected, but in reality they are very predictable.
So much so that I guarantee that if you read those tips you can improve your life in several ways!
Your parents will allow you to do more, trust you more, and be more willing to see life from your perspective.
Nothing gets you a faster a€?Noa€? from parents than giving them a feeling that they owe you, or that you a€?deservea€? things. The point is not to trick your parents to think you care, the point is that appreciation spreads good will, which will certainly come back to you. The main thing you will need to prove to them is that youa€™re mature enough to deserve that thing you want.
If you show that you want to contribute to the family and dona€™t resent your responsibilities, you will start to be seen in a whole different light. When theya€™re pressed into a corner, or when they feel rushed, parents are much more likely to say No rather than Yes. So, start any big requests with something like this: a€?Dad, dona€™t say yes or no right now. Setting the stage for any question you want to pop is a key to increasing the odds for a€?Yesa€?!
Your persistence will most likely not be annoying or be regarded as questioning your parenta€™s authority. As teachers, we get to know our students pretty quickly but we don't always get to know the parents right away. However, with so many different tasks to complete, purchases to make, and personalities to deal with, bridesmaids may have to solve some etiquette challenges before they can pop those champagne corks. Here, smart solutions to your toughest questions (that you've always secretly wished you could ask!).
I want to be sure I have enough funds to help throw a fantastic bridal shower for you as well. If you hear back from the bride that your new dress options are welcome, get it done right away so that the bride doesn't get anxious about this task taking too long. The bridesmaids may see it as a worthwhile deal, so they don't have to spend their weekends slaving over party plans and DIY projects.
Check out all of the details and do diligent research before saying "yay" or "nay." In addition to travel and lodging, you'll need to factor in bar tabs, celebratory dinners, and other expenses, which can add up. For example, a boutique bed-and-breakfast nearby would give you the same bonding time, and you'd be able to spend more on activities, like a fine dinner, winery tour, or shopping. Maybe she was previously a bridesmaid who had a steamroller MOH to answer to, and she vowed never to be that way.
If you keep getting nos, then you'll have to accept that the MOH isn't going to share the tasks.
Or, if you all live far apart, create a private Facebook group and have everyone share five fun facts about themselves. For example, if you're a relative of the groom's and you don't want to attend the bachelorette party because male dancers will be there, suggest that the group take the bride out for dinner first, so that you can attend that portion and then bow out later, with no pressure about "bailing" on the bridesmaids. Some moms latch on to the shower because they're not as involved in the wedding plans as they'd like to be, or maybe they're just very enthusiastic by nature.


While you want to spare the bride the embarrassment, her mom is more likely to take "no" for an answer if it's coming from her, not from someone she doesn't know that well. If you start to tell her about a problem you're having or a great thing that happened at work, she just starts talking about her day again.
The wedding is on her mind, and when someone is laser-focused on something, this is what happens. For example, if she's working on centerpieces, she can include that she hates greenery, bright pops of color, etc.
When she hears that her stall tactics are stressing everyone out, she may work harder to make decisions in a timely manner.
Your parents will allow you to do more, trust you more and be more willing to see life from your perspective.
Sure, they are responsible for your well-being and all that, but this is not an exercise in fairness.
Two things you can always offer are doing specific chores and getting better grades in specific topics.
Saying, "I'll get better grades," is one thing, but it's much better to say, "I'll get better grades in History." You also actually have to mean it and do your part. Adults often feel judged about their parenting skills, and any way you can help them to feel confident as parents is a good thing. Offer to take on small responsibilities and always do what you said you would do and a tiny bit more. Sure, they are responsible for your well being and all that, but this is not an exercise in fairness, ita€™s about getting what you want.
Two things you can always offer are: Doing specific chores and getting better grades specific in specific topics.
Saying, a€?Ia€™ll get better gradesa€? is one thing, but ita€™s much better to say, a€?Ia€™ll get better grades in History.a€? You also actually have to mean it, and do your part.
But for the bigger thingsa€” car, MacBook Air, Nikon DSLR, etc.a€”a more deliberate approach and sometimes patience is needed.
Offer to take on small responsibilities, and always do what you said you will, and a tiny bit more. They are all in text format since I am still working on it, but I want to hear your thoughts and maby give me some feedback. To help you move forward, we've gathered some of the best quotes on the art of letting go, from famous figures as varied as Lao Tzu and Bill Cosby. Or, can we possibly plan a brunch instead of dinner, to help cut down on costs?" Don't go into detail about all of your financial crutches, especially any upcoming vacations, because no one will sympathize with you when you have a big Aruba trip coming up. This makes you a valuable member of their team, rather than a complainer who doesn't want to pitch in. Remind yourself that you're lucky to get asked for your opinion when so many other bridesmaids are just told what to do. Would it be possible to plan an in-person meeting with the rest of the girls to go over everything?
No pouting, no refusing to share ideas if they're not going to be heard, and no causing drama--even if your feelings are hurt.
Discovering shared interests--watching the same TV shows, training for a half-marathon--can give them things to talk about with one another. This will give her a sense of accomplishment and help her get over that initial hurdle of where to start. Your parents care about one thing (having to do with you) almost more than anything: Your growing up into a responsible, happy adult. Your parents care about one thing (having to do with you) almost more than anything: You growing up! Adults often feel judged about their parenting, and any way you can help make this better for them, the more they will go in your direction. If you get a general, unhelpful response, dig further: a€?OK, you want me to be more mature.
If her messages are coming in way too frequently, or she expects an answer during inopportune times (e.g.
Any way you can show them that you are moving in the right direction will help your case endlessly. Believe me -- proud parents' hearts and wallets are much more likely to be open to your requests. Believe me - proud parentsa€™ hearts and wallets are much more likely to be open to your requests.



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