How to get an ex back after two years

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Welcome to the ultimate guide to using text messages to get back together with your ex girlfriend.
Naturally, I got curious to see if such a guide existed online right now and I was shocked to learn that one hadn’t been created yet. Look, I am going to get bold here and say that never before has a guide this in-depth been created (and given out for free on the internet) for men wanting to understand exactly what to text to their ex girlfriends. With that guide not only will you gain more insight into what you should text your ex to get her back but it will show you everything that you need to do in order to win her back. Not to mention that it has over 250 example texts that you can use!Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? You can spam your ex girlfriend with text messages and leave her thinking that you are a psycho. You can send a bunch of really hateful messages to your ex girlfriend and hurt your chances of getting her back. So, explain to me your reasoning behind sending someone, who you desperately want back, really mean messages that could potentially drive them away? In other words, the more your ex girlfriend associates bad feelings with you the less likely she will come back to you. Look, with this guide I am going to teach you to do something so much more powerful than begging. I am going to be teaching you how to influence your ex to take you back so she thinks it was her idea when the fact was that it was your influence that got her to get back with you.
The No Contact Rule- A set period of time where you don’t talk, text or call your girlfriend at all.
The advantage of using a no contact rule before you text your ex is the fact that you can kind of get her on the ropes a little bit.
For the next few hours she is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response except you are doing the 21 day NC which means a response won’t come. Of course, since you didn’t respond to her emotional message she is hurt and promises to never text you again for the rest of her life which she articulates to you in a text ?? .
While this page is dedicated to text messages it is important to remember that the overall goal you are trying to achieve here is not to just learn how to text your ex girlfriend it’s to actually get her back.
While it is not impossible to get your ex girlfriend back through text messages it is highly unlikely. Getting an ex girlfriend back is probably not going to be done strictly through text messages. In my massive 12,000 word guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back I talk a lot about having a game plan.
After the no contact rule you will use texts to build attraction which should eventually lead to a phone call where you will build attraction and by then you will have built up enough attraction to earn yourself a date. While rebuilding attraction is essential for getting your ex girlfriend back it isn’t the main goal you are trying to accomplish here.
It just so happens that building attraction through texting is how you advance to the next level of the game plan.
Again, you should really check out that massive guide I put together because it will explain things better than I can in the short amount of space I dedicated to it here. Before I can start getting into the tactics that you can use to help move the reconnection process along there are a few things I need to teach you about text messages. My point here is that word count and how interested a person is in what you have to say can have a direct correlation most of the time. It’s interesting to me that no one really ever talks about the importance of response time when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back.
In this section I am going to teach you everything that you will need to know about response time when it comes to using text messages.
Now, before I really get started here I do want to say that not everything I say in this section will hold true to you.
It is best to look at response time as a gauge of how interested the other party is in what you are saying (just like word count.) For example, in my book, I give an example where I was texting a girl and I responded to her texts every few hours. Sure, she may have texted her friends a lot but during the high point of your relationship you were probably priority number one to her.
Don’t worry, that is what this entire guide is for and I will be giving you the step by step plan on texting her a little later. There is a way in which you can do this through the use of a text message to get a quick response and ironically it all has to do with your own response time.
Well, putting it into practice can be really tough because there are two battles that you are going to be fighting. What you will have successfully done if you pull this off is that you just made her realize how much she wants to hear from you and her response time should be quicker from that point on. You wait for what seems like an eternity (5 minutes) and you constantly check your phone waiting for that text message to hit but it never does. Essentially, if you are put in this position where you desperately want a text response you are left wanting more.
You know, the part where I go on and on about how you desperately want a person to text you back but they won’t. No, I am afraid I am going to have to give credit to pretty much every girl that has ever rejected me because every single one has successfully been able to do this to me. If you end a texting conversation with your ex girlfriend and you successfully leave her wanting more here is what will happen. Second – When you do decide to message her again (either later in the day or the next day) she will respond very quickly to your text message. As you can see there are a lot of advantages to ending a conversation where she wants more. Let me start off by saying that in order to leave your ex girlfriend wanting more she is going to have to be invested in a texting conversation.
Lets pretend that the string of text messages that have all three characteristics but are a bit negative (again, this is something you have to feel out.) Do you think you should end the conversation there? The four responses is something I covered in the how to get your ex girlfriend back guide pretty intensely.
Well, since the four responses directly relates to texting it only makes sense that I talk about them again within this guide.
Every single time you get a positive response to a text message you are slowly inching closer to your goal of getting your ex girlfriend back. The challenge that you are going to face is that you are going to have to decipher if the message you got was a neutral response or just a fake neutral response. However, when you are starting a conversation and you get a neutral response then you need to pay attention because that means you probably shouldn’t engage her for a while. If you are getting a response like that from your ex then you have some serious work to do. In my experience, negative responses (when dealing with exes) usually always revolve around how bad the breakup was. If there was a lot of yelling, name calling, things thrown and mental warfare from both sides then I think you had yourself a pretty bad breakup. Don’t worry, you will text her eventually but it is going to have to be later down the road when her emotions have settled in a bit. What you really need to watch out for is the NR when you reach out to start a conversation. Coincidentally that is what the next section is all about, the first text after no contact.
Assuming you have followed my instructions (by implementing a no contact rule) the first type of communication you are going to have with your ex girlfriend after the no contact rule is going to be done through a text message. Generally speaking a text message will yield a higher response rate and also a phone call after a no contact rule may seem out of place. Hey, I am a huge fan of surprises but when it comes to this stuff surprises are never a good thing. Oh, and in case you forgot the main goal of this entire guide is to use text messages so you can advance to a phone call or a date.
This leads us back to the first text message you send after the no contact rule has been completed.
When it comes to first text messages your main goal is to get a positive response from your girlfriend. In other words, your text message has to be so intriguing that she can’t not respond to it.
Basically the way it works is that you say that a TV show that you and your girlfriend used to watch reminded you of her.
That means you need to slip back into no contact for 7 days (EVEN if she gets back to you on day 5 of that no contact.) After the 7 days is up it is time to send something that should yield a response 95% of the time.
Now, I don’t know about you but if someone texted this to me I would respond immediately fearing the worst.
If your ex girlfriend receives this text then it will only be natural for her mind to be racing with possibilities. However, if you really want my opinion I think you should end the conversation immediately. Rapport is something that you have to earn and you earn it with a slow ascent of text messages that build trust.
The situation you find yourself in now is that a breakup occurred between you and your ex girlfriend and that can cause some awkwardness when it comes to texting. I want to give you a brief overview of what you should do to rebuild the rapport with your ex. You send your first initial text after the no contact rule and ended the conversation very quickly.
Your next text message should be sent about 1-3 days after the first initial text message after no contact. After that conversion ends I want you to wait a day before you start up another conversation. I want to take a moment and give you some examples of the most interesting type of texts I have come across. I am sure if you think hard enough you can think of some bizarre stories in your life to share. Talking about your previous relationship with your ex girlfriend can be pretty tricky because it is bound to bring up old memories and not all of those old memories are going to be very good. I would first like to turn our attention to how you should approach talking to your girlfriend about your previous relationship. In fact, there is one particular exercise that I want you to take advantage of during your no contact period. Since we are specifically focusing on your ex here I want you to be prepared when your old relationship comes up. You know how successful musical artists have a “greatest hits collection” right? Rule 3: None of these memories can be about sex they have to be more about emotional connection type things. You see, you should be talking about how cuddling made you feel and the specific things you liked about. Yes, I get that there are going to be some guys that read this and think it is the lamest thing ever.
Ideally, what we hope happens is that you do such a good job texting that your ex girlfriend will want to talk to you on the phone naturally. One of the biggest concerns that most men have when they are about to call a woman is the fact that they are worried that she may be busy or preoccupied. Well, what if I told you that I had discovered a way in which you can transition from a text message to a phone call seamlessly and have a super high success rate.
When I was researching ideas on how to transition from texting to phone calls I came across this book that actually recommended that you call your ex during the day (when she could be potentially busy at work.) That is officially the dumbest idea ever. Assuming you want this phone call with your girlfriend to go well you want her to be alone in her room or something like that. Ok, now that you know when to set up a phone call with your ex girlfriend lets talk about how you actually set one up. I have always been of the mindset that you should give a girl a warning before you call her. Lets say that I am in your shoes and I send the text above to an ex girlfriend I am trying to get back.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
What if I told my ex who dumped me to never text me again, but I still want to get her back? Just remember, your ex only text you when he is horny, if he really cherish you, why would he hurt you in the first place? I will most likely just get to the point of smashing him out since I care for this girl, hopefully it doesn't get to that point. Such a good woman at college, if slightly the things that you will want you informed me to cut. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle. There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say.
So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood.
Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness.
Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook.
Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice.
Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that.
You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it.
I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it. Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule. So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will. Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts. The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front. If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally. Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule.
So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome. And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed.
So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. However, with that being said there is a flaw with this guide, that’s all that it covers. While knowing what to say to her via text messages is an important part of the process there is a lot more to winning her back then that. When you go through a breakup do you honestly think that at that moment you are thinking logically?
However, you start bordering on the pathetic when you send your ex 20 text messages back to back to back. In other words, this is the go to guide for teaching you exactly what to say through text messages to start the overall process out.
If you are consistently getting a one word text message response from her THEN you have a right to be worried.
Look, your ex girlfriend is a human being and human beings are notoriously hard to predict. Since you dated this girl we can assume that at one point you were her top priority when it came to texting. Obviously if the breakup was really bad then she may not want to talk to you and you will have to earn the right to get those quick responses from her again. The fastest way to get a quick response from a girl is to build up the anticipation through text messages so that she is constantly waiting for your response to her text.


The first battle is going to be the most obvious one in that you have to get her connected in a conversation with you. This is a concept that I want you to wrap your head around because it is so important when it comes to ending texting conversations with your ex girlfriend.
In other words, if she is responding quickly with rather long messages it still might not mean she is emotionally engaged in the conversation. Generally, if you are responding emotionally to her messages then she is probably responding emotionally to yours. Once you find it then that is when you should end the conversation on a high note because that is how you leave someone wanting more. Of course, I am going to be going a lot more in-depth on them and I will also teach you exactly what you are supposed to do when you get each response. You send a text message to your ex girlfriend and instead of responding positively she responds in a neutral type of way. The mistake I see most men making is the fact that they are unable to remain classy when they get a negative response. It basically means that you send a text message and your ex girlfriend doesn’t respond to it. Remember, this is not meant to be a process where you accomplish everything you want to accomplish in a matter of hours.
Now, I have thought about how best to explain this to you and finally I settled on this statement. Seriously, don’t underestimate the negative impact that a breakup can have on text messaging.
However, to a woman having a man remind her of something that she would genuinely appreciate being reminded of means that, that particular man cares enough to look out for her. The more details that you can bring to the table about how you felt, how she felt and about what happened the better.
Let me go through a few examples with you so I can show you how to properly use a relationship text. While it’s not anything HUGE about your relationship it is an aspect that filled both of you up with good feelings. I mean, I am sure if a girl I really liked told me that she loved cuddling with me I would be over the moon but the truth is that this text could be so much better. However, it is my experience that most women wait for men to make the first move and that is not a problem because I know exactly what you can do to get your ex talking on the phone in no time. Not in a stalkerish kind of way I just mean you have to be aware of when she will be at work, out with friends or basically any time that it is not socially acceptable to take a phone call. However, in my experience when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back surprises are your enemy.
About 3 years ago I met a woman at work who I was immediately interested in but, at the time, I was dating someone else. I mean, just looking out for you bro, you don't want to do something over this girl that may alter your life for the worst. The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth. You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out.
I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date.
So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it. I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think.
It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having.
Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from.
The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that. And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him.
I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him.
Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods.
Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make.
When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what.
If you would like the actual step by step method that you should employ to get her back I suggest you take a good hard look at a guide called, The Texting Bible.
For example, if you send a text message to your ex girlfriend that is about 25 words and she responds with a 1 word answer that might be a little troubling.
However, just figuring out what type of text messages to send is not going to help you understand the entire situation. What I will be talking about in this section should give you insight into your ex but in the end every single man reading this will be in a different position because every girl out there is unique and what is talked about in this section is a generalization of women. However, if I was texting a girl that I was very interested in and I responded to her texts every few minutes then I am definitely engaged in what she is saying. However, I would say that in most cases she will be willing to talk to you and respond pretty quickly if the breakup wasn’t horrible. This text message has to be sent from her and it has to be one where she opens up emotionally or really wants an answer from you about something.
Now, imagine if you could do that to your ex girlfriend so she is literally anticipating your text. Simple, if you leave her wanting more then that means to her YOU are the only want who can satisfy her emotional hunger.
The key to leaving her wanting more is finding the high point of the emotional conversation.
Eventually I get to a point in the conversation where I find a string of text messages that satisfy all of the three characteristics I just talked about.
The idea is to end the conversation on a positive note because then she will associate the good feelings she has gotten throughout the conversation with you. For the past month you have essentially ignored her and then all of a sudden she gets a phone call.
While it may cause her extreme anxiety for a while it will also make her realize how much she cares about you and that is what you want. Essentially, you have followed the plans I have laid out here to a T and they worked for you perfectly. Rather, you accomplish it in a matter of weeks or months but trust me when I say if you are patient the strategies outlined on this page can be extremely effective. Re-building rapport with your ex when it comes to texting is almost the same as re-building trust. At the beginning you would only talk once every three days and towards the end you were talking every day. Now, lets pretend for a moment that you were able to think of something like 15 memories that you could use. If you are going to be talking about an aspect of your old relationship with your ex girlfriend I want you to pay attention to the details and that is something that this text lacks.
Now, tell me, what is a bigger surprise to a girl than an ex boyfriend calling her up out of the blue with no warning at all? Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for.
Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you.
I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for.
And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before.
I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls.
So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff.
Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them.
If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you.
Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation. But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people.
It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that. I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode.
Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting.
But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back. It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away.
So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things. I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it. Now, I do realize that logically you may realize that this is the case but when you are actually in a situation that you have so much invested in it is hard to take a step back and think logically. Sure, maybe she was busy when you sent that text and she didn’t have time to write a proper response but imagine if this trend was consistent throughout the history of your conversations as of late. In other words, you need to keep an eye out for a text message that satisfy all three characteristics.
It is at this point that I should end the conversation because that girl would be left wanting more. If you do get a negative response apologize for the inconvenience you caused and then do not text her back. First things first, in the event that she completely ignores your text message wait about a week before you try anything else.
It isn’t going to happen overnight but if you slowly advance things you can see some fantastic results. Any girlfriend I have had is always there to remind me when important stuff is about to come up. When I was free she was dating someone but neither of us talked about these relationships instead we flirted and talked about other stuff.
Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back.
Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it.
You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past.
I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for.
But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words. About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps.
A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used. You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature. There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back.
But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want?
It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back.
Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory.
She may be busy at that particular moment or you may not have built up enough attraction yet. About 3 months ago she got injured and was home bound so I texted her something joking about her situation. Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career.
Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second.


You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it. Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest.
Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery. So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there.
So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do. Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me.
It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day. The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back.
So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of.
Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back.
What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear.
You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship. He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal. I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule.
There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back. So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back.
So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days.
After a couple of weeks of this I saw her girlfriend in passing and she said that my friend was lucky because her boyfriend (who I knew nothing about) was staying with her a lot and helping her out. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much. Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you.
So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me.
That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship.
I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs. Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud.
They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new.
So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule. In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around. So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen. So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now.
I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you.
So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you.
We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work.
You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you.
So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. So, I decided to ramp things up a bit and told her I’d like to stop by for a visit and even asked when would be good for her. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have.
And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back.
You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up. And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this.
Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule.
This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up. Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space.
This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating. One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule. So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013.
But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on.
About a week later, kinda late one night she texts me outta the blue and starts a conversation then asks me to call her. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman.
So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it. So, i do and find out she just dumped the BF cuz he was cheating on her and even texting other women while they were together. We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date.
Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails.
However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home. He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature. Shortly after that we decided to hang out, so I went to her house and hung out almost all night. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far. We did the same thing several times over the next couple of weeks until one time when I was leaving we finally kissed. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done? The next time I saw her we ended up fooling around, she wanted to have sex but I refused because I had no protection and I was nervous about her ex and his promiscuity. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that. We continued on for a bit hanging out and fooling around then the communications started to be more sporadic, I figured she was seeing someone else. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.
We talked for a bit then I leave after a while, she kissed me and hoped everything would be ok. Later that day as i stewed a bit she texts says she’s sorry because she considered me a great friend and feels like she screwed that up too. The next morning I had to do a security detail about 150 miles away so I had to leave at 0400am. As the detail was in the direction of her house I drove by her house and saw his car, all lights in the house out they were asleep. 2 days later she sent me a message at like midnight accusing me of being paranoid, delusional etc. Deep down I felt bad about being mean to someone I like so much, and part because she made me feel small like this old dude is somehow better than me.
So I go off the grid with her for a couple days and she finally texts me, a pic of the flowers, how beautiful they are and a pic of my favorite beer.
I was with a buddy hanging out but replied after about a half our, something along the lines of sharing is caring lol. A couple days later I really missed talking to her so I shot her a quick text, she replied about an hour later just some stuff, she still had the beer and wanted to get together soon and have a couple. There is no doubt in my mind she is hanging out with the old guy, I’ve given her plenty of opportunities to tell the truth.



How to get a girlfriend 13 years old 97
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Category: Winning Back Your Ex



Comments to “How to text ex girlfriend to get her back up”

  1. KOROL_BAKU:
    Not admit it (however you possibly can hear it in pop.
  2. AnTiSpAm:
    Permit a time frame where your ex girlfriend can think worst of the worst factor you.
  3. Torres:
    Out how to tell her this.
  4. KAYFUSA:
    My boyfriend felt that he still has feelings for must do a flight examine and make.
  5. Roya:
    Text Your Ex Back is that the not to seem needy or manipulative in your text messages wait on your ex to contact.