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Troy is a game veteran of a decade's standing, and a lover of women, literature, travel and freedom. But Ariana was much-loved at work for her madcap ways and the amusing stories that her frequent inebriation provided. More slides revealed her “yolo” exploits in the various five-star hotels in New York and Berlin the company had put her up in for business events.
Is this really what Emmeline Pankhurst and the early suffragettes had in mind when they fought for women’s rights? One of the problems with reading and writing for men’s websites is that time and again one observes real-life examples of what we caution against in this part of the internet. In a long-term relationship with a stable guy slightly older than her until a year or so ago, she dumped him because she was feeling “trapped” and wanted to “experience a little more of life” before “settling down.” “I still love him,” she confided to a colleague. There is a lesson here for those who believe that “locking down” a (relatively) inexperienced girl in her early twenties is still a workable strategy. My guess is that the thought of accepting her new relegated position as a has-been in London where many people know her is simply too frightening, too painful.
I believe that social mores are arrived at through a combination of diverse factors and that we shouldn’t be too quick to ascribe them to just one.
The tragedy for women like Ariana is that they’ve been lied to – both by a popular culture that tells them they can “have it all” for as long as they like, and by the modern world of work (the only structured organization with rules that Western girls recognize, what with the decline of religion and the discrediting of politicians).
Setting aside the fact that I have not read the Fifty Shades series due to what has been described to me as the books' rather lackluster prose, sometime misogyny and excessively silly romantic situations, I would like to explore the idea that mature, confident, independent women do sometimes face the catch-22 of wanting to be strong in the world while wanting to be 'taken care of' -- and not just sexually -- in romantic relationships.
This phenomenon may not seem fair to men who seek a relationship founded on equal support, care, understanding and check-covering, which, admittedly, seems like a fair request. Nevertheless, strong, confident women who advocate for themselves all day in the world often find that they want the men in their lives to be giving.
There are socio-political, socio-cultural and socio-emotional reasons that strong women seek caretaking behavior from men in relationships.
The most obvious socio-political argument points to the inequity built into the patriarchal political systems in our society.
Another key issue that unfortunately highlights the inherent inequality in our country and our world is personal safety.
It is logical for women to expect that thoughtful, considerate men will take these steps as a matter of course, enabling us to feel that much more assured of our own personal safety. To me, the clearest socio-cultural justification for seeking to be taken care of in a relationship is the pressure placed on women -- even in our so-called modern society -- to keep men interested over time and to consistently present ourselves for men in a sexy, flirtatious, enticing, slim-and-shapely and continually-youthful way.
Because we primp, preen, prep and prime ourselves in these ways for the benefit and attention of men, (let's face it, few of us endure hot wax for our own enjoyment), it is nice to feel that we are being taken care of or even courted once we are on the date that we have spent numerous hours, dollars and grimaces prepping for.
Connected to the idea of chivalry in the socio-cultural realm is the idea of not wanting each date to feel like a business negotiation, which can be stressful and cause awkward tension. As for socio-emotional rationale, which I think is paramount, in American society (and yes this is a broad generalization), women are socialized to be giving, caring, cooperative, communicative 'connectors.' We are taught to seek and preserve intimacy and to take care of and be responsible for others, while men are given very little of this socialization if at all.
First, as strong, confident women we have enough self-esteem to know our intrinsic worth and to expect someone who respects us, who will continually be there for us and who will remain interested and dedicated enough to want to care for and about us for years to come.
Following this (admittedly traditional) line of thought, women also seek caregiving ability in a man who will be father to their children. Therefore, it becomes crucial, even in the beginning stages of a relationship, for a woman who is interested in these life path choices to see that a man has "staying power," that is, the desire to give, to provide steadfast support and to go out of his way to show his caring, as these behaviors are signs that he possesses mature emotional development, understands what a serious relationship potentially entails and intends to show up for it. Of course, a woman in a relationship should be willing to plan and treat for various meals and outings, offer practical help when needed and make her feelings clear so that her partner feels safe and loved. The bottom line for mature, independent, confident women is this: We've lived happily on our own for many years, and we'd rather be on our own and not be taken care of than be with someone and not feel taken care of. Whether you want to excel in your career, have a voice in the boardroom, avoid office politics or go through a smooth career transition, the one factor that will help you achieve all these successfully is confidence. Unfortunately though, sometimes women who are confident can be misinterpreted as arrogant or cocky  as there is a fine line between the two and for many women this can prevent them from speaking up or showing initiative so as not to be viewed in a negative way. So below I’ve come up with my own personal tips on how to be the confident woman that you are (and proud of it) without looking arrogant or cocky. Be sure to walk with a straight spine, shoulders back and head held high, this simple tip will immediately convey to those around you that you are a confident successful woman who has it all held together. As superficial as it sounds this is an important one and may I stress it’s not about looks at all. Speak at an acceptable speed (not too fast, not too slow) and be sure to speak up, you want to be heard. By not meeting people’s eyes can make you come across as having something to hide or that you don’t really believe what you are saying.
This is a straightforward one but better yet as briefly mentioned before, video record yourself instead so that when you play it back you can observe your posture, body language etc and then if need be improve accordingly. Be sure to have all your points thought out and the correct information before you address anyone.
Just because you are and appear confident doesn’t mean that others will always agree with you and that’s ok.
I would love to know if you already use any of these tips or if you have others that work for you. Receive my Resource Guide "5 Must Know Websites You'll Want to Bookmark When Transitioning Careers!" (Hint: You'll be Completely Surprised by 2 of Them) when you sign up to my newsletter. And Neil, thanks for reminding the world that professional women still have tits that need occasional fondling. The author obviously is in desperate need of a homemaker woman who will doctor every wound his poor soul will create.
Surely an intelligent man would understand that it is significantly cheaper to hire a maid. And just so it’s on the record, any man that gets neurotic and insecure about a woman that makes more money than him is no measure of a man in my book. So should I click on over to the Forbes article and see what everyone is talking about OR laugh my ass off over Neil’s response? Neil – first of all I can’t believe I was out of pocket for Blogger Appreciation Day! What happened to your dream of having a woman meet you at the door in lingere every night when you came home from work?
It seems a bit insecure to assume that just because your partner works, (either male or female) that they are going to have an affair with someone at the office.
My husband is waiting for the day when my book comes out and he thinks he no longer has to work. Maybe these successful women are cheating because their husbands are a bunch of insensitive crybabies who are too insecure about themselves to realize how good they’ve got it. I have no problem not working again if some dumbass wants to support me in the style that I would like to become accustomed to someday.
That misogynist, ridiculous and irritating-as-all-HELL Forbes article made me want to throw things. Women's Web is partnering for the Women In Leadership Summit India 2016 to be held on 18th of May in Mumbai.
The role of women in India is seeing dramatic changes, accompanied by changes in what working women in India seek from the workplace. This generation of working women in India is probably the first where large numbers of women at work are seeking a ‘career’ and not just a job to add to the family income. In this article, we look at various researches from the Indian subcontinent to bring you some interesting facts about working women in India and what they want at the workplace. Add to this the role of women in India where women are still the primary care givers to their kids, parents, in-laws, husbands, and you have a perfect multi-tasking disaster that leaves women gasping for air. The Grant Thornton International Business Report, 2012, (PDF) a survey of 3000 senior executives in 40 countries around the world reveals that while penetration of women into senior management is increasing, many are dissatisfied with their work-life balance. This leads us to the conclusions drawn by a research conducted by AVTAR, an HR consulting firm, (conducted in India with around 450 women respondents) which states that Flexibility is the one thing, most working women in India want. Another career enabling factor for women is Mentoring, which has emerged clearly from most studies. Women want a mentor who will help them attain equal if not more growth than men at similar positions.
A compilation of data on women at work by Catalyst, a non-profit that acts as an enabler for working women points out some absolutely astounding facts with respect to gender bias in organizations.
Further, 26.2% women are held back in their current roles or not promoted owing to them lacking the ability  to be ‘role models’.


26.2% women are held back in their current roles or not promoted owing to them lacking the ability to be ‘role models’.
The ‘Global Gender Gap Report’ cites that women don’t leave their jobs only for lifestyle reasons; infact 18% of women in India leave work mainly due to the sexual harassment. The Gender Diversity Benchmark study however also states that cultural biases with regard to women travelling and guilt over not fulfulling one’s traditional role as a care-giver adequately were other barriers to women moving up at work. Even in the US, where diversity has been a buzzword for long, a study by consulting firm McKinsey revealed that few firms could qualify as really meeting all key gender diversity parameters such as women at the top or equal opportunities for promotion. To conclude, it is not about special treatment for women; rather, the traditional workplace has been designed keeping in mind a male worker who can focus exclusively on work while his wife takes care of the home. Women's Web is a vibrant community for Indian women, an authentic space for us to be ourselves and talk about all things that matter to us.
Flexi-work patterns are well and good but I also think women, and apparently this is an issue in the West also, need flexi-home patterns. Women’s Web is THE place for the Indian woman who wants to stay engaged with the world, who believes that she has a place in the world, and ideas to offer. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and last time it happened, I went off and checked the dictionary – just to make sure I wasn’t missing something. Monitor your energy and sense of time, and you start building a picture – one that can help you direct your research to careers that could tick your boxes, charge you up – and feel like fun!
Having fun at work is not the same thing as slacking off… I can honestly say that I’ve worked far harder – brought far more of myself, worked far longer hours and gone way above and beyond – in the jobs that I’ve enjoyed, than in the ones I’ve endured.
And happily, bringing your best, working hard and going above and beyond – what people typically do, when they enjoy their work – tends to lead to career success. Before I entered the session I was honestly a little scared but that soon washed away… Afterwards, I felt incredibly positive. Prior to the session, I was really confused and the stress of this was really affecting my ability to make a decision… I knew I needed to make a change but did not know what direction to take. Before the session I felt frustrated and at a loss… Afterwards, I felt like I had a plan of attack, and I was a lot clearer. I have to say thank you to you… had I not started to explore the options, I would not have reached this new perspective.
I found the session very helpful, particularly the emphasis on what my strengths are and how to not only use them, but combine the in a way that creates a picture of what a rewarding future could look like for me. In the two years we have worked together, I have observed a definite depreciation in her looks. Her talent for attracting beta orbiters was referenced; and the fact that she had been banged by a male colleague was revealed on a slide celebrating her “horndog” nature. But it seems incredible that we have reached a state of affairs where a female executive in a responsible position in an internationally-known company with offices in major cities in the UK and the US can be celebrated for spending most of her time drunk and wearing revealing clothes.
And other than looking good in a mini-skirt, what has Ariana really accomplished since completing her humanities degree?
Ariana is currently perpetuating what Rollo of the Rational Male calls her “party years” and is about to enter the “epiphany and transitory phase.” Her story is fairly typical. Having had few sexual partners prior to her boyfriend, as soon as they had broken up, Ariana slept with at least five new guys, one she met in a fast food joint after yet another drunken night out. With Western culture encouraging all of us to put off until tomorrow what could be done today, and telling women to delay building stable relationships and families in favor of sexual pleasure and career success until they are at least in their thirties, then your chances of holding onto your special snowflake for life are slim.
Better to move to another country thousands of miles away, to make new friends, find new lovers.
Because our sexual market value is less based on our physical appearance, and more on other factors like status and dominance, and as we remain fertile for longer (for those men who want kids), we are able to pursue our own inclinations for longer, if not indefinitely. And judging by Ariana’s farewell presentation, the feminized contemporary workplace seems only too happy to endorse their bad behavior.
We recommend you use it when communicating with fellow "thought criminals." You'll receive no more than one message a day concerning relevant news and articles. That is, some women want to be completely respected for their capabilities and strength of character while also wanting to be led, supported and cared for emotionally, socially and yes, sometimes even economically when they are with a man. They want the door held open for them, a shared umbrella, an invitation to a date planned and paid for by the man in their lives.
Women around the world hold only 20% of powerful political positions, and while our country claims to be post-feminist, we have yet to see a female President, the national female corporate board-membership rate is 12% and on average, women are paid about 80 cents to the working man's dollar. Seeing ourselves reflected in society as receiving less money, respect and opportunity than men might push women to be independent-minded in our professional lives, but these elements of inequality can cause even the feminists among us to feel that we deserve to be treated that much more nicely -- even specially -- by the men in our personal lives. Nationally, 95% of domestic violence victims chronicled by visits to the ER are women and globally, one out of three women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Some clear signs include feeling that we are being listened to, supported, cared about, emotionally given-to, nurtured, thought about with affection and gentleness and treated with forethought and consideration. American media and male expectation have seen to it that women attempt to live up to these pressures and standards and this burden can cause women to go to excessive lengths -- including spending time, money and in some cases, enduring emotional distress -- in order to 'prepare' ourselves for men (and to prepare ourselves to be seen by other women who are competing for the attention of men). And some of this good-natured ribbing is acceptable, or even in some cases graciously welcome, if appropriate elements of chivalry are employed in tandem with it. When a man plans a fun excursion or suggests a new restaurant and pays for the couple, the date becomes both simpler and more romantic; thus, even women who are fully capable of planning an outing or footing a bill often prefer this mode, at least at the beginning of a relationship. We often take on the responsibility of keeping calendars and schedules, whether they are for our families or our offices; we teach and nurse and counsel, making up the majority of most social service professions. Those of us who are lucky have our parents, including caring and devoted fathers, to lovingly thank for that.
By our mid-30's, women have seen many of our friends go through these milestones and traumas and we have seen that it takes a real man (read: a caring, steadfast, supportive and giving man) to stand by their side and be there for them through the difficulties as well as the joys in life.
The more a woman sees a man as a potential partner, the more seeing evidence of this type of behavior becomes significant. If we're going to be with somebody long-term, we want to find the man who loves our strength and wants to make us feel cared for in the ways I have discussed.
For the record, and with years of action research to my name, I can confirm: It is very a tricky pursuit indeed.
Doesn’t always mean that you are these things but the quickest way to start believing it is by acting it and eventually it will come naturally to you. It’s about looking the part and we want to appear confident and successful not frazzled and defeated. Practice by getting another person to stand at the far end of the room to ensure that you are speaking up or even record yourself on your phone and hear how you sound (cringey I know) but a very good indicator at not only whether you’re loud enough but also the speed at which you speak.
If there is silence from your audience don’t try to fill it in by waffling (which is a very natural thing to do but just try not to, practice makes perfect).
As I’ve said before, if after using these tips people still view you in the negative, then it’s most likely more about them than it is about you. If she’s bringing in the big bucks, the less she is on your back about sitting at home in your underwear (or her underwear) and blogging! Who wants to put on fancy clothes and go out to some overpriced restaurant when some poor sucker in her office can do it for you?
You have managed somehow to quash the Neanthethal part of the male brain that cannot cope with the female partner earning more. Ya gotta love a man who wears the (under)pants in the family and spends quality time with the computer AND the remote. I do wonder if he’s sitting around in my underwear when I do have the occasional meeting.
Some people love the outside career world, and others like to stay home in their wive’s panties and blog all day. A guy with your attitude can play with my tits anytime (within the bonds of matrimony that is). The husband is a skirt chaser and women seem to be giving the wife the eye saying, leash him. And for good reason too – for women, biology does play a role – women get pregnant, men don’t. While women are ambitious and capable of fulfilling as much responsibility as men, they desire more flexible working hours or other flex formats (such as work from home) to enhance their productivity at work.
Mentoring is key for women at work (Read, Getting The Best From Mentoring In The Workplace) since women are often unable to position themselves as available or suitable for leadership roles, and a good mentor can make a crucial difference to helping women understand and pursue their career goals.
Women need offices to have certain infrastructural capabilities that determine their contentment and satisfaction at work – buildings with clean restrooms, office transport facilities, security in the office so women can work late in the office if they want to.


As the article said, women are still shouldering the bulk of the responsibility at home (past the time children are very young) and why should this be? We focus on women’s self-development and pursuit of happiness, by offering information on career development, entrepreneurship, managing work and family, successful women, women’s health, social issues and personal finances. Many of us equate being at work with not enjoying ourselves, at best – and at worst, with being bored and miserable.
I now have a solid direction to head down in order to reach an occupation that I am excited about. Work takes up so much of our lives, why spend that time doing something that doesn’t make you, the real you, happy? The most helpful aspects were discussing and reconfirming my personality, career preferences and possible careers… the step by step list of what I need to do next to get going, and the practical hands on advice provided.
I felt that the work we did was extremely valuable and you were authentic, compassionate and practical in how you approached it with me.
But with her slender body, her long, thick black hair and a mischievous face that suggested a profound appetite for naughtiness, she was sexy. My assembled colleagues hooted and guffawed at these images, while Ariana looked on, held in the embrace of another girl, close to tears at her impending departure. Apparently, Ariana had proved herself to be a linchpin of her team, and she had been personally responsible for managing multi-million pound accounts. Anything to keep the party going for just a little longer, away from judgmental eyes that reflect back a cold truth – that Ariana is no longer the hot property she once was.
I’m not saying the old ways were always better – I’m sure that many women were forced to remain in unpleasant and abusive relationships that they would have been better off out of. Unfortunately, it’s simply not the same for women – they have a shelf life of between 19 to around 30 if they’re lucky before they become less appealing to men and less able to conceive.
The stronger a woman is emotionally or professionally in her daily life, the more she may desire some aspect of this.
Thus, the need for women to advocate for ourselves in the workplace belies the notion of true equality. It becomes a refreshing change of pace: When a man's kind treatment comes from a desire to give, we can relax, be ourselves and not have to push so hard. We are giving and helping, loving and sharing; we support each other emotionally and we know how to take care of people. A man's ability to demonstrate that he can be giving, emotionally and otherwise, is vital in the early stages of a relationship. I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred. Again, this will include taking care of those children in innumerable emotional and practical ways. Also, when you have a straight back and chin up, you will automatically speak in a clearer manner. It’s as simple as your clothes being clean and pressed, shoes shined, no ladder in your stockings, wearing appropriate clothes for the industry you’re in and position you hold. When you want to address your manager, staff, colleagues or a potential client, ensure that you know what you want to say and how you’re going to say it before you go for it. Simply acknowledge that while you still stand by your thoughts, you understand that they don’t agree. Now I just need to find a career person so I can wear their underwear and obsess over the internet at home where I belong. Then I can divorce him, take him for everything, and call him at work everyday to remind him that he didn’t want to marry a career woman and mama needs a new pair of shoes.
It comes as no surprise then that women want fair and equal treatment to men in an organization. The importance given to sexual harrasment policies is equal to that of ‘Flexibility’ showing that it is a necessity.
The study by McKinsey also highlighted some of these essentials for a satisfactory work environment for women. Women therefore want a gender intelligent workplace that takes these new realities into account. Become a registered user, and you'll be eligible for our free ebooks plus never miss our newsletter or event notifications. I told him that actually ours is the generation where women in bulk are seeking for career (lifetime) and not just as a reason to fill the gaps of time or need.
Start paying attention to this – write it down, keep a log, review your days and look for patterns. Alcohol remains endemic in many industries in London, not least ours, where entertaining clients is a central part of the job. Many of them featured close-ups of her increasingly bloated, drunken face as she careened from one crazy night out to the next.
For many young Brits looking to travel and party while they work, Australia is a tempting destination. But as there is now no societal requirement for people to remain in couplings for appearance’s sake, it means that girls like Ariana are free and indeed encouraged to follow their hypergamous instincts by having sex with strangers and pursuing the backpacker dream while entering their thirties.
Then – I have no doubt – she will cash out with whatever guy she is seeing and have a baby. Most women are kind, reasonable, realistic people who want to make sure that their partner feels secure and loved.
You try talking when your posture is hunched and head facing downward, you won’t sound the same and it will be harder for people to understand you. This may be because your audience are gathering their thoughts or letting what you just said sink in.
Have your facts straight and if possible, have answers prepared for possible questions or doubts the person or persons you are addressing may have.
As long as I get to play with her tits every once in a while in between writing blog posts, I’m a happy man. Fortunately, I married a guy who is smart, too, so now both of us work half as hard and edit each others’ stuff. Ariana attacked that duty with gusto, and the empty calories she loaded into her system over many drunken nights meant that she ended up carrying considerably more weight than when she started. After all, there is sunshine there, beaches, a vibrant party scene, and a reputedly unquenchable thirst for heavy drinking. Most are not asking for fancy meals, fancy trips or fancy things; they know that the company is always the most important factor. This isn’t a beauty contest, it’s about you (and others) having confidence in yourself, you are capable.
If you do feel really uncomfortable then simply ask if there are any questions or for any feedback. An example is a sales person, the best sales people are the ones that know their product inside out and who also know their competitors product just as well. Not enough to make her obese, but enough to render her formerly shapely legs matronly, and to give her once-angular features a doughy appearance.
After a long absence for maternity leave, she might return to work on a part-time basis – if at all.
They simply want to feel taken care of, and it is important not to confuse them with the women who have withheld love and support or prioritized money and status and thus caused hurt feelings. I’m not saying that this alone is enough, of course you need to have experience and expertise to go with it (more on that later) but that experience and expertise will be conveyed more successfully when you are also well groomed. So when they go in to see a potential client they’ll now what to say and be able to address any questions or doubts they may have.
Thirty will come knocking soon, and there is a fast-growing crowd of cuter, younger party girls behind her. By knowing what you are talking about will automatically make you look confident without you even trying. But of course it is possible that people will not always agree with what you’re saying which brings me to my next tip.




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