How to get an ex back after two years

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We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle.
There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful.
I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood.
Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness.
Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back. Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook.
Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that.
You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice.
So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you.
I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on. But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that.
It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Now, I got to work on a few things to get this thing live but it should be going live really soon. Now, about the emotional affair, just, I’m not shocked that it’s turned sexual in nature now. But your question specifically was about the no contact rule and if too much has happened for you to implement it.
Now, I talked about that sort of success story report I put together where I looked at all the testimonials that I had saved up and one of the things that I found that was most prevalent in the successes is that, 74% of the successes all use the no contact rule.
So, if that doesn’t tell you how powerful the no contact rule is, I don’t know what else will.
Another really popular thing the no contact rule does is it actually works on getting him back on two fronts. The less talked about strategy of the no contact rule, the less talked about front of the no contact rule is actually the personal recovery front. If you can prove that you’ve moved on with the no contact rule, if you can kind of move on, on purpose without really moving on internally.
Now, the thing Mary, I think you need to do is, if I’m going to recommend the no contact rule for you, I think you should do probably a 30 day no contact rule. So, in that study I did where I talked about the testimonials that I looked at, trying to find co-relations between the successes and failures, the one thing without a doubt that I learned when it came to a man moving on to a new girl, is he almost always comes back to the original ex which is you in this case Mary, if he gets the grass is greener syndrome. And our guest today is a woman by the name of Erica who finds herself in this exact predicament. The No Contact Rule Book that I’m working on right now, basically covers everything you’ll ever need to know about the no contact rule and my thinking or my line of thinking on how someone should do the no contact rule has changed. So, basically this book is just going to cover any kind of question that you’ll ever have about the no contact rule and I’m super excited about it because I don’t think I’ve ever written anything this comprehensive. Ever since the creation of this site there has been one strategy that it has been associated with it above all others.
You know, that pesky little rule that forces you to ignore your ex boyfriend on purpose for a certain amount of time with the hope that he will miss you and you can be that much further along with your plans to win him back.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
I must admit that while I get a lot of association with the no contact rule I am not the one who initially came up with the idea but if I ever do meet the person who came up with it I would shake their hand. Because I have seen the power of the no contact rule (if it is implemented correctly) firsthand and it is POWERFUL! And these are just a small handful of the women who have gotten back in touch with me after they got their exes back (using NC.) I literally have HUNDREDS of stories just like this saved to my iMac. Anyways, I don’t think there is any doubt about the fact that the no contact rule does work when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you always need to have a contingency plan. This page is going to be very long because I am going to be tackling things in an in-depth manner (like always) but at the same time I am going to make sure that this page is going to be very easy to digest because what we are talking about here is very advanced stuff. That means that if your ex boyfriend were to call you, text you, Facebook message you or contact you in any other way, shape or form you would flat out ignore him. Now that you have a brief idea of what the no contact rule is lets move on to talking about how we measure a failed no contact period. Now, maybe old age is starting to catch up to me (which at 25 would be kind of pathetic) but I can’t think of anything outside of those two reasons. Luckily, the two reasons I gave above are all we need to really have an in-depth discussion. Pretty much the whole reason women get excited about the no contact rule is the fact that it has the power to potentially make their ex boyfriends miss them so much that they will want to come back to them on the spot once the period of time is up. While it almost never works out that way (NEWFLASH you have to do more than just no contact to win your ex back) it can be very saddening when you don’t even receive a response from your ex after no contact. Most women are under the impression that if their ex boyfriends do not message them during the no contact rule it means that NC is not working. Because, in order for you to even have a chance to win your ex boyfriend back you have to communicate with him. That is the situation you are in if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you after the no contact rule is complete. I recently went through the comments here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and compiled a list of the first 20 women I could find who implemented the no contact rule on their exes. That means that 17 out of 20 women had successful no contact periods while the other 3 women didn’t. This means that there is an 85% chance that you will have a successful no contact rule in which your ex boyfriend gets back in touch with you.
I gave you ironclad instructions to NOT contact your ex under any circumstances (except the ones here) and you disobeyed my orders.
A woman breaking no contact early because she either misses her ex or he calls her during the no contact rule is without a doubt the most common mistake I see on Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Of course, after further investigation I find out that she really didn’t do the no contact rule right as she broke it 3 days in after he messaged her on Facebook and she would sporadically break the no contact rule throughout the 30 days.
You see, this woman was under the impression that the no contact rule meant that she could respond to him only if he contacted her first. Notice how the NC period starts on the left of the line and then as time goes by it ends on the right of the line. Because, instead of giving your ex boyfriend time to reminisce and miss you, you are signifying to him with your actions (of interrupting NC) that you are still into him and as a result he isn’t going to respond the way you want him to after the no contact rule. The point I am trying to get at here is you have to be disciplined when it comes to the no contact rule.
Of course, I created this page for women who are in a worst case scenario situation in which the no contact rule doesn’t work. So, lets move on to the exciting part of this article, figuring out what to do if things aren’t going your way after the no contact rule.
Lets assume that you are in a worst case scenario where your no contact rule has just failed. Then at day 31 (the day after day 30) you send a text message to your ex boyfriend and he doesn’t respond. Luckily for you I have come up with 5 strategies on how to approach a failed no contact rule.
If you go back and read my original thoughts that I had on the no contact rule years ago here what do I recommend that you do if you mess it up? Mess It Up= breaking it prematurely by messaging your ex boyfriend in any way shape or form outside of the allowed instances. It means that if you determined that you were going to use a 30 day no contact rule and on day 12 you broke that no contact rule then you have to restart the 30 days from that point on. We are assuming a worst case scenario so that means that no only did you break the no contact rule (and not start over from square one) but you also reached out to your ex boyfriend AFTER no contact was over and he ignored you. Rather than taking a step back and re-evaluating the situation they continue to text their ex or call him.
This comes off as desperate and will have the opposite effect of what we are trying to accomplish here.
So, what I have been recommending to women lately (with great success) is a staggered approach to the no contact rule.
Lets say that you have contacted your ex boyfriend after your failed no contact rule and he has ignored you. Well, rather than messaging him again the next day I would say jump back into no contact for a week and try again. If you fail at getting his attention again after a week then go back into no contact for 2 weeks. Well, lets imagine that you have completed the no contact rule and not gotten a response from your ex. Simple, you are going to continued the staggered approach and go back into the no contact rule for three weeks. Initially I talk about how I recommend a 30 day no contact rule for women who are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. Now, I am not some sort of math wiz but by my count if you reach weeks using this approach 6 weeks will have already passed. In that case (and only in that case) it may be time to admit defeat and focus your energies in recovering from the relationship. Well, breaking the sacred bond of no contact like this pretty much defeats the entire purpose.
The Purpose- To use silence to make your ex boyfriend realize what he is missing out on and to kick start his feelings for you. So, rather than trying a staggered approach to the no contact rule (which is heavily focused on trying to get your ex boyfriend to respond to you) the prolonged approach is geared towards making him miss you.
While it is true that there are no contact rules that can be extended for up to 90 days I am not a fan of those type of prolonged periods.
I have found that there is a correlation between moving on and a super prolonged period of no contact. 45 days is a perfect prolonged period because it gives your ex boyfriend time to miss you and at the same time not enough time has gone by for him to lose feelings in you yet. Know that I have a very specific way that I like to teach women to reach out to their ex boyfriends after no contact. Look, I understand the temptation of not sending a good first contact text message after ignoring your ex boyfriend.
However, you have to keep in mind that if you used the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend you just ignored him (on purpose) for hopefully 30 days. So, what I would like to do now is teach you my method for getting in touch with an ex boyfriend after the no contact rule.
This is a small little screenshot of one tiny aspect of a redesign that Ex Boyfriend Recovery is going through.
This is the kind of effect your first contact text message needs to have on your ex boyfriend.
He will see it and be so intrigued by it that he will have to respond to your text message just to find out what you are going on about. If we dated in the past and you texted this to me after ignoring me for 30 days I would respond to it.
I am intrigued by the fact that you ignored me for that long and are reaching out to me for the first time. I can’t tell you how many times I have stumbled across a situation just like the one described above through this site. Men have this funny tendency to come back into the picture after women have moved on already. Well, I don’t have exact statistics on this or anything but what I do have is a theory. Well, instead of tinkering with the no contact rule what if you took the exact opposite approach and moved on without moving on. Move on without moving on is an idea I came up with that basically leverages my theory above. Now, before I move on to our final strategy I will admit that this particular strategy is a bit riskier than the others. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
I am in LDR with my bf, it’s been 2 years we were together and now 4 months in LDR, since we moved to different places our relationship is on again, off again.
I love him so much, I want him to come and meet me but he refuses due to some work related issues and this is the root of our fights.
He reached out to me that day wanting to return me my belongings (I brought it up couple of times before) So what if I actually do need to speak to him to get our stuff back from each other?
We did have small talk that day when I called him about picking my stuff up and he ended the call after the small talk.
I had an online relationship with a guy that lasted for one month and a half however he thought am cheating on him and talking to other guys but i was not!!!!
After a breakup, it's the most popular question that everyone wants answered: when and how should you contact your ex? The further removed you can become from your past relationship, the more of a reaction your ex will have.
Breaking all contact with your ex boyfriend is a fast, simple, and effective way to get him to notice you again.
Remember: although he may have broken up with you abruptly, your boyfriend was looking for a gradual withdrawal. It's not uncommon for your ex to actually call you in the early stages of the break up, under one guise or another. Believe it or not, a lack of communication on your part will be pretty disconcerting to your ex. Think about it this way: knowing that you're still pursuing him gives your ex that nice warm, cushy feeling that he's still desired. In learning how to get your boyfriend back, understand that friendship is never the answer. For a lot more details on this scenario, check out why you should never be friends with your ex. Moving forward, let's talk about reinsertion techniques you can use to place yourself back into your ex boyfriend's life. Well, I wrote a book that is almost as long as the very first Harry Potter book and it talks about the no contact rule exclusively.
IF you can break it…Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
As stated above, it is basically an agreement with yourself that you are going to cut your ex out of your life for a certain period of time. So, we have already established that in order to do a NC (No Contact Rule) correctly you are going to have essentially cut your ex out of your life for a minimum of 30 days.
You may find that as you embark on this essential 30 day freeze out from your ex that they may try to initiate contact with you. You didn’t think you were just going to sit around on the couch all day catching up on re-runs of Friends during this time did you? The smartest thing that you can do during NC is to improve yourself both mentally and physically. Becoming the sexiest version of yourself is only half the battle when it comes to taking a positive step towards getting your ex back. Prepare yourself for the fact that there is no guarantee that you will be getting your ex back. In this section we are going to study some of the major benefits to implementing a NC rule immediately after your breakup.
You might learn after some soul searching that you don’t want to get back with this person again. What do I do about snapchat please – if I put things on my story he can see them, and if he sends me things directly do I open them? Lets see quick background summary we went out for over a year and after the break up were back and forth. I’ve started yesterday no contact but I have some unresolved issues in what regards material things like sharing the same cellphone plan. My ex broke up with me about a month ago and blocked or deleted my number then after contacting him via social media begging and pleading he told me he needed some time , 3 days later he contacted me positively I ended the conversation the next day I contacted him and then he ended the conversation now it looks like he’s blocked me or deleted my number? Well, I already explained that it keeps the website up to date but as time moves on and I formulate more and more game plans for women and I see more situations I become better and better at helping people get their exes back.
If you take my knowledge today and compare it to the knowledge I had when I first started this little website it’s like night and day. Anyways, you are probably getting tired of me talking so lets dive right in to the new way of looking at the no contact rule. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most important strategies that you can employ to get your ex boyfriend back.
When you look at the big picture of the overall strategy of getting a boyfriend back you can generally divide the strategy into three separate parts. This is usually the time where you are desperate to get your ex boyfriend back and you make every mistake in the book.
It is also during this time that most women stumble upon Ex Boyfriend Recovery and actually learn about the no contact rule.
This is the period of time when you are actually implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. If the no contact rule is going to eat up half of your overall strategy to get your ex boyfriend back then it’s kind of a big deal and you should fully grasp it.
When someone says the words “No Contact” what is the first thing that pops into your head? Basically the no contact rule is a period of time where you aren’t going to have any meetings, relationships or communications with a certain someone.
I want to make this as clear as possible because I get so many women who make this mistake.
The no contact rule isn’t meant to be forever or until your ex boyfriend comes crawling back. However, in order for me to properly explain this effect we are going to have to do a little role playing.
Well, lets pretend that you are implementing the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and things are going well. Before I dive in to this I think it’s my duty to explain what the no contact rule working actually looks like. Of course, since you are in the no contact rule you cannot break your silence so you do the smart thing and continue ignoring him. I think it’s safe to say that the no contact rule is having the effect on him that you were hoping.
In order to understand what is going on inside the mind of a man during a successful no contact rule you need to understand a bit about the way humans are. One child is playing with a toy in a sandbox while the other child is playing with a toy as well. Well, the one child that is getting ignored probably is going to go crazy trying to get acknowledged.
Basically the baby went berserk trying to get the mothers attention when the mother went still. In a weird way I think this is happening inside men when they are ignored via the no contact rule. Women are always commenting that they don’t know why their ex boyfriend is reacting so crazily during the no contact rule. But did you notice what happened with the baby when the mother went from being “still” to being loving again?
So, for those women who are worried that the no contact rule may be too harsh on their exes and that their exes will hold a grudge for the rest of their life I have two things to tell you. From what I have seen from women who use the no contact rule it is rare for a man to hold a grudge. Now, another thing you may be wondering is why some men react sweetly during the no contact rule and some men react in a negative way.
Notice how when the mother first starts ignoring her baby the baby doesn’t cry or throw a tantrum. The same can be said about men who are nice during NC and mean who are a tad mean during it. Some men determine that the best way to stop from being ignored by you is to be nice to you. Experts seem to be completely split when it comes to how long the no contact rule should be for. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but the truth is that your ex boyfriend is unique. Before I used to be under the impression that the 30 day no contact rule was the way to go.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that if your no contact rule is longer than 66 days then you run the risk of having an ex boyfriend be over you and if he completely is over you by that point then it makes getting him back that much harder.
You will notice that the three time frames that we are focused in on here are all below 60 days. We don’t want to run the risk of having your ex boyfriend get out of the habit of thinking about you. But that still doesn’t help us determine which of the three rules is best for you, does it?
However, lets say that you have a really good chance to get your ex back and you know in your heart that your situation is conducive to success.
Well, if that’s the case then I would say you can get away with the 21 day no contact rule. For those of you women who are just trying to cut down on the time it takes to get an ex boyfriend back this isn’t going to help your chances. Remember, the only ones who should be allowed to use this no contact rule are the women with really good chances of getting an ex boyfriend back.
Well, lets just say that they are either going to be in the 21 day rule or the 45 day rule below. So, that’s why I cut cheating down to the 30 day rule since it has more success there.
Basically, the more time that goes by without you re-exhibiting the behavior the better because he will stop looking at you as a GNAT and you will have a better chance of getting him back.


Now that you have a pretty good idea of what the no contact rule is lets talk about some of the wrinkles about it that none of the experts really touch on out there. Now, I want to preface this section by saying that I am not going to go as in-depth here as you like.
Because I have already written an uber in-depth article about how to handle just about every situation during the no contact rule. Nevertheless, I am going to add some new situations that I have covered in that article here. For the record Jane is totally made up but her made up story based on real life is going to help me prove a point. One of the biggest reasons you do the no contact rule is so that you can get your ex boyfriend back so when that fantasy becomes a reality it’s ok to break no contact for that. Lets say that you are using a 30 day no contact rule on your ex boyfriend and around day 4 or 5 he messages you and asks if he can get his things back from your place. The inevitability of a couple exchanging things when together is very high so it makes sense that if things were exchanged he would want them back. I mean, it’s amazing how these two little versions of you and your ex can bring about conversations after a breakup.
The answer is yes but you are going to have to make some obvious adjustments for the kiddos.
If your ex brings up the kids (or you are forced to bring them up) you can break the no contact rule for that. You are absolutely allowed to break NC and respond to it but you want to keep the interaction ONLY about the kids. I HAVE talked about it quite a bit but I haven’t ever really put the pieces together for you all in one place. On instinct most women guess that it’s to get their exes back and while the no contact rule can certainly be used for that there is another purpose of the no contact rule that hardly ever gets talked about. The truth is that when I first started this website I really only focused on helping women get back with their exes but as I gained more and more experience and credibility I learned something interesting.
Yes, it is a strategy that is meant to get your ex back but think about the time frame of the no contact rule. In many cases you are going to be waiting a full month before you can actively have a talk with your ex boyfriend. It means that you have a month of preparation to turn yourself into the best version of yourself and by doing that you will be actively working to get over the pain of the breakup. Winning a man back from a place of depression is a lot harder than trying to win him back from a place of happiness which is why I recommend self improvement during the no contact rule. The best way to get over the pain you are feeling is to focus on the things that you have control over.
Right off the bat we know that we have 21 – 45 days before we have to talk to your ex so lets not just sit on our hands here during this time frame. We are going to go through the no contact rule from start to finish and show you what you are supposed to do every step of the way using a fake character that I am about to create. So, the first thing that Virginia is going to want to do is to determine which no contact rule time frame is best for her. After much thought and deliberation Virginia has decided that she wants to embark on a 30 day no contact rule since she thinks that will give her ex enough time to miss her and give HER enough time to change her image completely. There are a lot of ways that Virgina can improve herself during the 30 day no contact period. What I am about to do now is something that I have never done here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery but I think it will be extremely helpful for you to see HOW the no contact rule will look from a birds eye view.
Like I said above, I am going to be answering those questions today but I am going to be doing so in a very unique way.
I am going to be using a calendar to demonstrate what a perfect no contact rule looks like. To be honest I don’t think there is much more set up that I can use for this so I am just going to dive right in. Now, I do know that a lot of you are using phones to read this article so hopefully you can see the calendar above because it’s kind of important. You will notice that there are 30 days on this calendar and under each of the 30 days are little items ranging from workouts to learning a new language.
Oh, also take notice on how every single day during this 30 day no contact period is jam packed with stuff to do. Of course, then there is the fact that every action found on the calendar serves one purpose, to help you become the best version of yourself.
Long story short, I went to strict NC about a week after the broke up and today is NC Day 21. Day 17: He whatsapp me how I am doing and seemed I had lots of fun as he looked at my Facebook. Day 18: He whatsapp me a long text of how thankful he was being with me and he had some of the best times of his life with me. I would like to know is it a good direction for him saying it or he is just being friendly to me?
He seems so guilty and depressed in the recent msg, is there anyway I can tactically do for him to know he is still the best ? First of all we were friends for like 6 years(before my relationship with F we were best friends).
The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today.
We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week.
If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person. That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it.
I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.
You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book.
When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that. So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date.
So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again. I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up.
She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you.
I know it takes a lot to pour your heart out in these messages or in these voicemails rather and it can be kind of tough to think about your situation or verbalize it. I know it seems really tough in your own head or in your own situation but your situation’s a little bit more normal than you think.
It seems like he is a little bit remorseful about the emotional affair or the cheating now or the sexual affair that he’s having.
Here’s the tactics that work the best, here’s the tactics that really don’t work that well.” And, I did certainly find statistics like that but what was the most interesting part was the actual situation in which people recover their exes from.
The point that I want to—I guess point to right here is the fact that you said that he moved out two months ago and you’ve kind of actively been trying to get him back or at least you’ve been displaying that.
And it’s something I like to call was sort of –I guess the best way I can explain it is when he senses that you’ve moved on completely, you become more attractive to him. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s this interesting phenomenon that happens where he senses it and it makes you more attractive to him. Now, if you’re familiar with my website or any of the books that I’ve written, I talked about the three major no contact rule time periods. Today we’re going to be hearing from a woman named Erica but before I get that, I have a special announcement to make.
When I first started the website I always recommended a 30 day no contact rule and how you had to stick to the 30 no contact rule no matter what. If you add an additional 4 from the four weeks you have ahead of you that means that 10 weeks will have gone by and you will have given your ex boyfriend plenty of opportunities to respond to your attempts to reach out.
That means that in a perfect world you will be ignoring your ex boyfriend for 30 days straight. This needy persona is the exact opposite of what drew your ex boyfriend to you in the first place.
I have done NC for a month previously and several small NCs whenever there was problem in relationship. He seems to have moved on and has no regrets whatsoever or isn’t even upset that our relationship has ended, and only insists he feels guilty.
Obviously I didn’t respond as I am truly honoring my 30 day NC period but now it has been two more days and he said nothing more after that.
So if you want a much clearer picture of how this all works I recommend you check that out.
Remember, your goal with a no contact period is not to become a jerk so there is no reason to use it that way. However, if you know for a fact that your ex became less attracted to you over the course of your relationship you can work to change that. In fact, you could make the argument that the mental side of things during the no contact period is even more important than the physical side.
Hopefully this section will make you realize the true importance of not talking to your ex for 30 days.
The no contact rule isn’t just a psychological tactic to getting your ex back it is also a way to ensure that you have time to properly heal. I am sure you have met one of these types of couples that break up every few months only to get back together again after a few weeks.
It used to be one of the things we used lots (Long Distance) and until a week ago when I asked him to stop taking snapshots of pictures of me (!) we still used it quite a lot. He graduated college a year ago and has been working, while I’m still in school where we met. Then I finally gave up on him and then we tried being friends but I gave up on that also due to why and feelings. My ex wanted to remain friends after the breakup (BU because not ready to commit), and said that down the line when he is ready and if we both still have feelings for each other that we would get back together, but I want him to realize what he is losing before he moves on and it is too late, would I use NC for this? You know, the kind of website that has really good content for a few years and then all of a sudden just falls off the map. I am talking about mistakes like becoming a GNAT, having him perceive you a desperate and coming off as super needy.
Well, generally women who decide that they do want to get their ex boyfriends back AND use the no contact rule to do so will spend half of their strategy in the no contact rule and half of their strategy outside the no contact rule. After much thought you determine that you want to do the 30 day rule so that means for the next thirty days you are going to be ignoring your ex in every shape or form possible. The two children have been best friends for a very long time and are talking to each other. It basically consists of having a mother sit in front of a baby and start blankly at the baby with a still face.
I know I have said this a lot throughout this site but I am going to say it again because it’s that important. He is unlike anyone else walking this earth and that means that the no contact rule will have to be shaped to him. In my opinion, there are three optimum no contact times and which one you choose to use will depend entirely on your situation. I used to think that situations where you cheated on an ex or did something horrible like that would be ideal for the 45 day rule but as I have seen more and more women embark on the rule in those instances I have found that more time tends to be more negative. This is the ring that your father gave you before he passed away so it holds a lot of sentimental value to you. However, if you have just left some clothes or toiletries over at your exes you shouldn’t bother breaking the no contact rule to get them. In other words, I want you to embark on the no contact rule the same way most everyone else would. Sometimes the best way to get an ex back isn’t just to focus on getting him back but to focus your energies inward. Look, I am not going to presume to know your entire situation with your ex like the back of my hand but I will tell you one thing. Lets do something that will actively increase your chances of winning him back AND help you get over that sinking feeling in your gut that you are feeling right now.
The idea is to fill up your own personal calendar so much that you don’t even have time to text an ex. I broke up with him because it was very clear that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship. Focus on being emotionally stronger, so whatever you happens, you can accept easier if it doesn’t work out.
He was sorry for the ruthless things he did to me (He had emotional and kind of physical affair with my best friend, and I kissed a guy about 6 months ago, I did apologise and he kind of accepted) And he did regret doing those silly stuff that hurt my feelings. Now he sent me two long texts each day, he said he wish he can do time travel, go back in time and undo all the stupid things he did.
Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women.
I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read. Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before.
I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date.
This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff.
Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them.
If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear.
So, I just want to take a moment and thank you and I’m going to do everything in my power to possibly help you. Let’s try to understand what’s going on in his mind because from there we can kind of build out and structure a game plan around your situation. But it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take the necessary steps for the therapy to work because often times, you can pull the weight of the relationship boulder yourself but really in order to move the boulder and keep it up, you need two people.
It looks to me like he’s moved on to someone else but don’t let that get you down I think a lot of women freak out when they hear that.
I actually think there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule than right now because it’s actually really difficult to do a no contact rule which, I talked about in the no contact rule book that I mentioned earlier in this podcast episode.
Absolutely now is the time to do the no contact rule but here’s kind of where things get a little bit more interesting.
But let’s go into fantasyland here and pretend that you’re using the no contact rule on your ex and it works and you get him back.
It’s sort of like that—I don’t know the best way I could describe it is maybe if you give a toddler a toy, well the toddler plays with the toy a bit and then throws the toy away. So, the no contact rule—the reason it’s such an incredible strategy is it touches on so many things. I don’t know if you’ve known this but, I have actually been writing a new e-book specifically about the no contact rule and I’m almost done with it which I cannot tell you how excited I am. Well, as I grew up more in this niche and as I’ve learned more about people’s situations, I came to notice that staying strict to a 30 day no contact rule the entire time isn’t necessarily the smartest way to play it. It doesn’t require a lot of thought and in the past your ex boyfriend responded to everything you sent him.
Of course, after you have gotten over the breakup and moved on you are no longer displaying that needy persona. The thing is when I stop contacting, he knows that I am following NC rule and he does cross NC, it becomes a game for him. If I don’t bring up the topic of meeting, he is fine and talks everyday otherwise he is pissed and ignores me. You can’t force him to change his mind but you can control yourself to see what the reality is. If you find yourself in these situations and ONLY IN THESE SITUATIONS you can break your no contact agreement but there is a certain way you have to act. While this situation may suck it certainly isn’t impossible to cut off a significant portion of your contact with them. Well, by doing this you are going to have to start your NC period over again FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. This is a perfect time to improve yourself which is exactly what you are going to be doing during this time.
When talking about physical changes during the NC period you should aim to become the sexiest version of yourself.
By now you should realize that the NC rule is important even if you aren’t trying to get your ex back because it will force you to focus on the most important thing, YOU!
Taking a break from your ex for a minimum of 30 days will give you time to calm down and think more rationally.
It’s interesting, because it allows you to essentially turn the tables on them and gain control over the situation. Someone who feels so strongly about their ex goes on the 30 day freeze out period and after the 30 days are up they realize that they have no desire to get back with this person again.
He said we were in different places in our lives and he needed to be independent and be able to make tough career and life decisions without worrying about disappointing me. In other words, once that time frame is up your no contact rule ends immediately and you start to go on the offensive to get your boyfriend back. All of a sudden one child gets upset with the other one and decides to ignore the other child. Assuming that it took him 66 days to get out of the habit of talking to you that would mean that a 90 day rule would far exceed that 66 day habit rule.
So, when the no contact rule starts affecting her ex in a positive way so much so that he decides that he wants to ask her to be back together she completely ignores him. The last two years haven’t been the best due to me becoming depressed due to my birth control pill. He wasn’t upset at all when I told him I thought we should break up and I got pretty mad and left.
He told me that while he wants to be friends eventually he needs a while before we talk again.
He think we broke up for the right reasons, but if we can save our friendship then he is willing to try anything to keep it going. Thank you for answering every single comments I have posted, being so clingy to this website. I was dating F for 2 and a half years and he told me to stop talking to O (who I want back now.) as he was talking badly behind my back and we stopped talking for a year.
Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back.
Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it.
You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying.
Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past. I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery.
So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date.
As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date.
Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier.
A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date.
The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue.
And to put into perspective how big it is, the first Harry Potter book—The Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was around 76,000 words.
About 6 months ago, he told me he was unhappy and I found out he was having a long distance, kind of an emotional affair. Like you know—a guy talks to someone at work and he constantly talks to this person at work and the guy talks to this woman so much at work that he starts to rely on her advice for situations instead of his wife perhaps. A lot of the people who I determined didn’t use the no contact rule, I didn’t have enough information to determine what they used.


You want your ex back and you mentioned that you put 5 years into this thing and you know, if you get him back, I’m assuming you want it to be more permanent in nature. There’s a lot of people, a lot of women who experienced this phenomenon that when they want their exes back they can’t get him back. But if you show the toddler the toy and then take it away from the toddler, what does the toddler want?
It’s just one simple strategy but if you implement it correctly, it can do so many things for you and help you get your ex back. Now, some experts out there will talk about the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule but I don’t like recommending that because of something called the habit theory. He is so pissed or so into the game or whatever that he doesn’t talk properly whenever I break NC and it goes on like this for several days. But no matter what I tell you in this article I know that there will be a certain percentage of you who struggle. I personally don’t agree with either of those assessments but then again each broken relationship is different and will require unique individual time frames. In order for this process to work you need to prove that you can go 30 full days without relying on your ex for a conversation.
For example, if you let yourself go a little bit during the relationship then it would be wise to use your time getting in better physical shape.
Obviously the positive mental changes is going to cover mental aspects but it will also help you understand the importance of not falling off the map socially. With a month of free time away from your ex you can really get a lot done in the healing department. They are built by strong ones and the no contact period allows you the proper amount of time to start building that strong foundation again. He started contacting me again and at first I did not reply then I did minimally and now he keeps inviting to hangout with his friends…. He thought I might have already moved on and forgotten about him, but he will hold onto all our good memories.
Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn.
I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates.
I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy.
Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially.
Just wanted to thank you for all of your support and how much you engage with the content that I write in ex-boyfriend recovery.
So, just stay tuned for that because very soon, this book is going to go live and I know you want an opportunity to get it. At the same time, I also don’t think he has a lot of self-value or self-worth, if he’s saying he can’t fix himself or whatever he’s you know—whatever he’s saying there.
So, if he’s not willing to invest the time or do what it takes in the therapy to make it work—it’s really you can do everything right, there’s nothing you can do.
Cheating, I had the second most success stories were in the cheating category which is shocking to me. It’s kind of impossible because you’re going to see them more than you see probably anyone throughout the day.
The no contact rule itself makes it more difficult for him to get you back, assuming he wants to get you back.
So, I think once he gets out there and experiences something new, he’s going to realize how good he had it with you and then potentially come back. A lot of people were just asking me, “What text should I send in this situation?” or, “What text should I send in that situation?” So, I wrote an entire book full of 250+ text messages to send in just about any situation I could think of. Thus, this page is meant to teach you how to successfully implement the no contact rule so you can put yourself in the best position to get your ex back.
However, you also need to remember that you are creating a new life of which they are separate from (or you need to appear to be creating one.) Again, keep any conversation simple, short and pleasant.
It can be especially hard when your heart is begging you to just pick up the phone and type a simple text message to your ex.
Not only are the health benefits immense to getting in good shape but it can legitimately be a step in the right direction to getting an ex boyfriend or girlfriend back. Nothing is going to get accomplished if the both of you are constantly a word away from getting into an argument.
I lost my sex drive, became very distant and cold, negative, slept all the time, didn’t want to get out of bed, and had no energy or motivation. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend and he told me that if he went his entire life only dating me he would regret it.
I deleted his contact from my phone so its not as easy to text him (I have his number memorized but it makes it less convenient to reach out).
However about a month ago he ditched me for my best friend (and she claimed she is bisexual all of the sudden recently but still flirt with my ex).
Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations.
I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did?
Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear.
You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review.
Now, he contended that was not the reason, he—you know, was having doubts about our relationship.
He’s probably around that age so, it’s possible he could be having sort of a midlife crisis type of a deal. I mean you can certainly do things like limited contact and try your best to make it seem like you’re not going to talk to him but at some point you will have to communicate but since he moved out, there’s no better time for you to do the no contact rule. There’s not enough information for me to determine what they actually did to get their exes back.
So, the more difficult you make it for him to get you back, the more he’s going to treat you like the queen you are once he gets you back. So, let’s assume that your ex wanted to get over you and you’re using the no contact rule on him and let’s say you’re using the no contact rule for 90 days.
This amount of time will give you and your ex enough breathing room to calm down and look at the situation more rationally. Unfortunately, by breaking NC you are losing power and control over your relationship which at this stage is a very bad thing. The official reason he told me he ended it was there were fights in our relationship and it outweigh the good times we had. As we three and other friends live in the same neighboorhood we were all together everyday.
You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him.
So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife.
And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. That he was just an unhappy person and he was unable to fix himself in the context of our relationship. I mean often times when it comes to break ups and relationships, there’s no really one definitive reason for why a breakup occurs. Which is why I say, even though emotional affairs aren’t technically a form of cheating, they almost always lead to cheating if they’re not nipped in the bud.
They tied for the second most, with the exact same amount of successes with this cheating was, him moving on to someone new.
So, that 74% number, you know the 74% of people who used the no contact rule, maybe something like 90% because the vast majority of situations who actually got back to me with details—I think actually all of them that got back to me, with enough details for me to determine like, okay what they did to get their exes back, all used the no contact rule. In other words, when you get your ex back using the no contact rule there’s scientific proof that it will help him stick around.
So, the no contact rule actually has scientific basis for having that happen which is why it’s one of the most incredible strategies out there because it accomplishes so much at once. Well, if he really wanted to get over you, it would only take him 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you and you don’t want that to happen. So, if you haven’t done that already, I urge you to please do that and also, I do want to mention that we have a YouTube channel now. I can’t tell you how proud I am because they pretty much respond to everyone who asks a question. He knows exactly what I am going to do and how long will I take to come back.He has all figured it out.
He keeps changing his whatsapp picture and staying online till late times so, is there another girl! But just after two days of our relationship, he stepped back and called off our engagement and the upcoming wedding.
Then one day out of the blue I had a dream about him kissing me, I told it to him and we laughed. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery.
I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you.
We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
You want him to be constantly obsessed with you, constantly wondering why you’re not responding to his texts or constantly missing you but if you embark on one of this massive no contact rules—the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule, I think it’s getting a little too close and he could potentially move on from you.
So, if you want to see in depth videos on how to get your ex back or search strategies of getting an ex back, I recommend you hop on over to the Chris Seiter, S-E-I-T-E-R YouTube channel and that’s going to do it for today. I ended up reaching out to him on day 11 of NC (I know that’s bad) but we actually had a decent conversation.
When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one.
I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up. And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered. But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one.
For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back. Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this.
Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah. So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. Alright, but before I get into today’s situation which ironically is about the no contact rule.
This will be truly the first book of its kind because most books in the no contact rule focus on the aspect of healing from a break up.
Anyway, it didn’t get better in therapy and two months ago he moved out saying he needed more space.
This is—you know emotional affairs, even though they’re technically not physically cheating. One that was my old computer that I first started ex-boyfriend recovery on and one that’s a new computer that when the old computer got a little slow, I upgraded to this new computer. He has communicated numerous times to me what he was unhappy with but I just couldn’t understand since I was in that state of mind. He seemed invested in the conversation and when I told him I had go he actually continued the conversation for a little longer.
Later when I made him understand that these things are ok and we should think over again, he had come down to meet me.
So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature.
So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis. So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you. So, I had testimonials that sporadically I had saved to my computer from, god, all the way since 2013. But for you I think I’m going to recommend the 30 day no contact rule because there’s that aspect of the other girl and I think what needs to happen is he needs to kind of get a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome going on. I have realized that I need to work on myself in order to have a successful relationship, so I have made the necessary changes. And well the talk started getting serious when my boyfriend F started to act if I was a trash. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product.
I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive.
Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He told that the emotional affair was over but about two weeks ago it became obvious to me that he was still not in a romantic relationship but a sort of sexual affair with this woman. So, it could that he got kind of a taste of what attention from someone else other than you felt like. So, there weren’t a million of the testimonials but there were enough to where it was interesting enough for me to create a report. Basically it states that the harder something is to get, or the harder something is to obtain, the more likely that person who obtained it or who have put the work in to obtain it, is going to cherish it once they have it. Now, I know breaking NC is a really bad thing to do and I’m wondering what I can do to fix the fact that I broke NC.
We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails. And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well.
I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood. Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date.
Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. To try to find some co-relations between some of the things that people who succeed in getting their exes back are doing and some of the things that people who are failing are doing. It has been a month since we split and I already feel better and getting back to the old me, although I still have a long way to go. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood.
I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue.
I had broken a million of cardinal rules because I have been wanting to work things out and even though I know it seems crazy, I do want him to come home.
He moved out two months ago and it seems that this emotional affair with this other woman has turned sexual in nature. I will admit that I have tried to talk to him after he ended it and noticed that he was ignoring me (which is understandable). All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him.
We had a life together and it’s been more than 5 years and I’m just wondering if I’ve already done too much damage? And you’re wondering if you should use the no contact rule because you’ve broken a lot of the cardinal rules so far. Seeing all these, my parents asked me to forget him and I am under pressure to get married asap. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories.
He seems very remorseful and tied to me still but is this the good start—like is this a good start for the no contact rule or has sort of—too much damage had been done?
I tried begging, doing everythng to get him back, but he simply plays around asking me to do what I feel is right. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys.
Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. When I text him on watsapp, he sees the msg but replies it at his own ease and never replies concretely. So even if it was really really bad of me I talked and kissed O for like 3-4 months while F and I were in a so called relationship, I am saying so called because we werent getting close to eachother, we were like enemies living together, but we never said relationship was over. O’s parents which are very close to mine found out we were doing this and said really hurtfull stuff to O. I did find out he went to a local bar with another girl (that he was interested in back in high school) a week after he ended our relationship. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. He tried to stay with me for a week but it was too much for him so he decided to leave smoothly and as we were friends and no one knew about us we had to keep in touch and be together almost everyday. He doesn’t have a lot of self-value or he kind of got some attention from someone else and wanted to gravitate more towards that.
Then I did something more stupid and I left there a month to another city which we go to university at with F.
Part of me thinks he did it to avoid his feelings over the breakup but the other part of me thinks that he’s genuinely interested in her considering he was back in high school.
I did not want to get O in more trouble with his family so I closed myself to him but it made him compelety forget me or sth like that. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule. It was a mistake, all of it I know but I got rolled in and it was like I was paralyzed and couldnt get myself out of the situation. Then after that month I broke up with F for good and after a week later I took O to have a coffee for his birthday I asked if he wanted anything for his birthday he wanted to make out. After that we went for the coffee and I told him that I would open my life for him first if he wants me still.



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Category: How To Get Ur Ex Gf Back



Comments to “No contact rule to get ex boyfriend back out”

  1. Ya_Misis_Seks:
    Amazingly I'm now in touch and receiving recommendation from an grownup with effectively.
  2. Olmez_Sevgimiz:
    Now that I dwell in the same space as him you send is greeted with.
  3. Love:
    He would possibly want you to keep.
  4. ZARINA:
    For those who can actually reflect on what you stated.