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Have you ever shared your dream with someone, only to have them stomp on it with a few unsupportive words? There’s a breed of control freaks who quietly lurk, ready to attack your precious, vulnerable ideas as soon as you share them with the world. You’ll find them in the workplace, in social circles, in the family, or in your marital bed. Regardless of where you encounter them, naysayers all have the same toxic tendency: they get off on popping bubbles, raining on parades, throwing wet blankets on ambitions, and farting on dreams. This is usually how it unfolds: you dream up a plan that excites you to the core of your being. If the negative comments are coming from a person you care deeply about, see what you can do to talk it through.
If the criticism is coming from your family, or a dear old friend, it may be best to simply block it out. Good for you and many congratulations on the book, which I will defnitely buy as soon as I have two cents to rub together! The funny thing is that his reaction is part of exactly why I really did take off and ride my bike around India! Anyway, my family is supportive of whatever I decide to do, the don’t think that I should go travel on my own but they still support me no matter what. I have this exact problem and it is so hard to work through it and get on with doing what you want to do despite what people say. When one of those naysaying nincompoops pop into my life, which has happened more times than I care to remember, I just quietly relish the fact that my ingenuity and imagination has taken me further in one of my 50 years than all of theirs. Thank you Torre, another great post, I love the non-scientific map of the brain, very cool. Torre, I JUST came across your blog and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Dreamkillers will often facilitate your view on giving up and try to convince you it’s better to give up. But if you have no interest in being a vet or doctor, let your parentTo succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
It’s quite dated to consider text messaging a low-grade form of communication when articulation by way of smart phone has effectively become the modern day equivalent of a love letter. If he responds to your text without another question, don’t respond to his statement. He probably just wants to watch TV and leave the non-existent buttons on his phone unpressed. Your mom leaves out vowels in her text messages, meanwhile my mom is over here sending me a million different smiley faces in each text message. The only topic I believe inappropriately averted was the essence of proper text response timing. I had a boss once who was addicted to her iphone and would insist on texting as our main form of communication.
Sometimes I think I am with the zeitgeist when it comes to communication, and other times, I think the world’s gone crazy. I would also add that it’s good to wait a few minutes to write back, if the other person is as well. As a foreigner from a middle-to-eastern European country (Poland, to be precise) I can tell ya (!): it gets only more complicated!
I’m from the netherlands and used to use lot of english phrases as well, whilst talking and whilst texting but after spending half a year abroad (where I spoke english all the time and eventually started thinking in english) I came back to the netherlands longing to speak my mothertongue again.
When I was a teenager I downloaded all my text messages from my phone to my computer, and I’m glad that I did it.
These people are known as naysayers, non-supporters, dream killers, or just plain assholes. Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of being insignificant, fear of death or injury, fear of being judged. Your wild ambitions threaten the naysayer. If you find yourself in a relationship with a toxic person who continually tears holes in your ambitions, it may be best to cut off the relationship. I need to keep this in mind for possible naysayers (already came across one, but I forgive the person), for when I quit my job in 2 months to travel.
It will be a great start to the day methinks (expect a few more spambot comments in your other posts).
It is hard to deal with, but you have to believe in yourself, because no one and I mean no one can feel what you feel or think the thoughts that you think and many times those naysayers are just jealous that they can’t do what you are doing!


Nobody knows you like you do, so nobody has authority to tell you what is right or wrong for your life. I’m quite adventurous, unlike most of my friends and family, so I frequently face lots of naysaying. The good news is that there are enough people out there to support our dreams … even if we do have to find them online! I love this post and have shared it on each of my social media outlets, that’s how cool I think it is and how relevant to my own dream chasing!
Very inspiring, and particularly appealing to me as I deal with friends telling me that my dream of traveling around the world and writing about it are irresponsible and that I need to just knuckle down and start down the career path. If I actually listened to all of those naysayers out there I would not have went this far in life.
I experienced exactly what you described from close to everyone I know when I announced my plan for my RTW trip.
I have a roommate (and she WAS my best friend) who has continually shit all over my dreams. There is no way to make a risky career path free of uncertainty, especially when you’re starting your own business. I am just starting out on my quest to achieve my dreams, but I understand the terrible burden that is naysaying very well. This one is rather usual considering the character restraint in #1 but according to another friend, restricting the use of acronyms in early messages may help catapult later messages. You can send a nipple and you can send your face, but you can never send them in the same message.
Your text message is not a social media tool and as such, the journalistic rule of thumb remains in tact and mandates that you get but three exclamation points over the course of your career (budding romance).
Finally, be weary of text-message bombing (which is considerably different than photo bombing).
In fulfilling the guidelines of this monologue, you break almost every rule in some capacity, display your inability to countdown (eight and a half comes before eight,) and perhaps most dangerously: allude to emotional illness.
I’m also married, though, which implies that occasionally, being who you are is rather endearing.
I’ve probably broken each and every one of these rules, during both long and very, VERY, short term relationships.
Can we get a post about how to go about at least attempting a normal phone conversation without dramatic pauses that leave the person on the other end wondering if you have, in fact, died? Am I weird to think that texting can convey so much that gets lost in awkward phone conversations? Some people (me included) use English phrases while texting sometimes, like: miss you, wtf, and so on. I had a good laugh at some of them and cringed thinking that people actually do some of these. Maybe they made the mistake of listening to their own naysayers, and they’re just parroting words that have kept them down their whole life? Locate your internal switch called GIVE A SHIT and simply flick it over from DO to DON’T. If one of you jumps the pond, but the other one stays behind, you may not have that connection anymore. I was told it would be dangerous, I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it on my own, that I’d be home in a week, that I should be spending my money on a car or a house! That’s why I am living the dream, traveled the world and now have a growing travel website and blog! Although I am new to twitter there are people here that posted, that I follow as a source of inspiration until I can really do some long term travel. It’s so f-cking frustrating and depressing to feel like an outcast for doing something you really want to do.
There will always be worries, but worries are important—they help to make your business watertight. I feel like most of my friends and family just shrug off my dreams and any time I talk to them they just roll their eyes and start their bash. According to the author of this quote, (her name is Amelia and she loves horses in the literal sense not to the large genital sense,) in the first phases of conversation, shorter is always sweeter.
This suggestion comes from a friend of mine who has more or less been out of the dating game a full decade. Now, are there any specific do’s and don’ts not listed here that you subscribe to?


Between not re-reading and not giving a shit, you couldn’t understand anything that she said.
And it is usually something along a quotation, we are pretending to be Americans, we watch English-language TV shows in the original, oh aren’t we cool! Perhaps they believe that life is all about living inside a fantasyland called Normalville, where regular people populate the average town of Mediocrity, sipping on lukewarm cups of boring? This is always a test of a good friendship—the people who truly love you will stick with you no matter what. So tired of building myself up, only to be ripped apart, and ridiculed, even by loved ones. Thanks a million for this article, it’s a small sliver of hope in an otherwise suffocating world. You can thoughtfully consider what will go into crafting the perfect message and in some instances, wholly create that immaculate vision. She suggests that even though she does not agree with the following dramatization, it is likely a fantastic way to disengage the other end of your message. This is probs due to the fact that I actually use these in my everyday vocab, as in I dont just type and read them, I say them as well. But the naysayer is out of luck because the entire universe doesn’t actually belong to them (as much as they like to believe that it does).
This is your life, your journey and your happiness, so own it and make it clear that you won’t sway from your dream. But, I wanted to pursue my dream of being a motivational speaker, and having an all positive social network. My dad is fine with it but he’s worried about how busy I would be and whether the workers I will hire might spread my secret recipe.
But being on the receiving end of that doubt has really opened my eyes to how detrimental words can be. They force uncomfortable conversational fodder and an inevitable dialogue about the weather. You are definitely not rolling on the floor and your ass has definitely not dispatched from your body due to my highly advanced sense of hilarity. Besides the physical benefits, there’s nothing greater about having a serious boyfriend than being able to rest all doubt on whether my next text will be the breaking point on our relationship.
While it is ok with friends and such, its gets really difficult to read while a flirt goes on. Negotiate and compromise if possible, but make sure you leave the conversation with your heart fluttering. I used to be a pessimist, but on my quest to attend the college of my dreams, I have learned not to take no for an answer and that working towards something with relentless drive and passion is ok – great, even. Sometimes my ear will begin to hurt and when that happens I will have to surmise that I have probably contracted brain cancer.
No matter what you think you have to say, how witty, charming, convivial it will be, there’s always tomorrow morning (and a pretty profound headache) to make up for short term radio silence. If he uses an English ‘miss you’ instead our own native language, does it mean he means it less? If you come away from the conversation feeling heavy and sad, you’ve just been naybashed once again. So from this point on I shall do my best to avoid naysaying to not only myself but everyone else as well. I believe us non-english speakers need to get creative with our own languages before we forget just how rich they are!
This article has helped to solidify my resolve; I will NEVER give up in pursuance of dreams, no matter what anyone says to bring my down. Two simple words in damn English, not even a sentence, and I go off overthinking for an hour!
So: I am quite tolerant when it comes to texting, yes, I even learned to like the ?? or xD, you can use caps lock on me all you want.



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