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We live in a world that no longer values straight talk, honesty or asking for what we really want up front.
I feel for the younger generations, I really do, especially the women because men seem to benefit most from the “not-having-to-try” or go outside of the lazy cocoon trend. Is romance dead and is old-timey dating a thing of the past, doomed to die out like the dinosaurs?
The Dating Game & Selection ProcessesMy mom didn’t let me watch a lot of TV when I was younger and she certainly drew the line at anything “risque.”  The popular game show, The Dating Game, was among the many shows that were “off limits”! However, my friend’s mom had no such reservations!  That being said, one would often find a bunch of silly school girls on their couch drooling over bachelors on the show and willing the bachelorette to choose who we thought was best!
Little did I know then that my career in Human Resources would find me doing similar things. Of course, there are not as many great looking participants but trust me, there are about as many onlookers hoping and willing the Hiring Manager to choose the best one!
For those of you old enough to have watched the game show prime time (or desperate enough to have watched it in syndication), you’ll remember that typically, a bachelorette would question three bachelors in an attempt to find someone who was “compatible” or “interesting enough” to date.  The game show would then pay for the date. In The Dating Game, the bachelors were hidden from the bachelorette so she didn’t make her decision on looks alone. We often tell Hiring Managers that “time in grade” is not proof of adding value or quality.
The audience, who knew what the bachelors looked like, how they dressed, how they interacted with others, etc. Hiring Managers often seek our advice on candidate selection.  And, like The Dating Game’s audience, HR has some advantages. Certainly our expertise and insight should give us the right to heavily influence the Hiring Manager!
You may remember that The Dating Game offered some “where are they now?” shows highlighting certain couples – those that were still dating, those whose relationships had fizzled out, those that were disastrous.  I loved these episodes and was always surprised when I learned that one of my “matches” was in the disastrous bucket! Could it be that the person’s looks and nonverbal communication had too much influence on my decisions?

Dare I ask if I allowed my own perception of what was ideal cloud my advice to the inquisitive bachelorette?
Could it be that a few lighthearted questions are simply not good enough to determine longevity in the relationship? Perhaps we fail to fully understand what the Hiring Manager’s objectives are and therefore, fall short in finding and promoting a candidate that is a good fit! I’ll leave you with this…take some time to produce your own “where are they now?” episodes with the last year of new hires.  Which ones are still going strong, which fizzled out and which ones were disastrous? By then, he had already murdered at least two women in California and two others in New York. Pick me! Damn it feels great being chosen, wanted and sought out first by someone with honest romantic intent. It’s all very confusing while you’re in the middle of it and this clouded judgment creates a setting in which you mistake many, many signs and imagine many, many silly scenarios involving the two of you as a couple. What we once thought we absolutely deserved in a good mate is now seen as arrogant or picky. Female empowerment is a must and I’m all for it and practice it every day but I despise the thought of anyone using it as an excuse for acting like a jack-hole when it comes to determining whether or not you’re actually in a committed relationship. It may be gone or soon on its way out but I would bet all that I have that at least one half of this equation doesn’t really like it but they’re  just too afraid to  speak up because true feelings and open dialogue can’t fit into a text or tweet. Host Jim…[show]Serial murderer, Rodney Alcala was accepted as a contestant on The Dating Game in 1978.
When it happens out of the blue, without warning, without planning and without prompting that makes it all the more exciting. Except you aren’t officially “together” because the other person has never given you the green light, only vague “hints” via flirtatious comments or maybe even a one-sided agreement to engage in some desperate “casual sex” that leads you to assume something is really there or will be there soon. Real emotions aren’t short and sweet; they’re long and drawn out, painful yet pleasurable at the same time and always worth the effort when followed through on. We encourage them to identify the candidates’ values to ensure alignment with our company’s guiding principles. The first relates to their producer, John Hill, who’s also produced the likes of Phantogram and Shakira and Santigold (!!!). In looking back on my own mishaps in love I need only think about the many times I ran after the object of my affection only to get shot down in various humiliating ways.

They may or may not have liked knowing they could keep you hanging because they enjoyed the attention (and the commitment free sex) but you’ll never know because one day they’re just gone.
You can still call me up and ask me out, just the two of us, no group shit because this ain’t middle school!  And, since I’m a strong and independent woman I’m definitely confident enough to let you pick up a damn check once in a while! Yet, our new world is one of blasting grammatically incorrect text bites that leave a lot to be desired and tell us nothing about who’s actually behind the screen or what journey they could take us on.
Host Jim Lange introduced him as a "successful photographer who got his start when his father found him in the darkroom at 13, fully developed. After two or three attempts I vowed to never blindly run after anyone again because I didn’t like the personal embarrassment or learning that the one I “chose” was really nothing more than a damn booby prize disguised as a decent human being.
Even if you are the one doing the asking and paying you still want to know that this person can and will reciprocate right?
Of course we’re talking high school and college puppy love mostly but it still stayed with me as a reminder of why I hate being played the fool and why I have no desire to be anyone’s second choice, imagined or not, when it comes to love.
Straight into the arms of the person they were really “courting” while they kept you waiting in the wings as a back-up or ego booster should choice #1 fall through.
Something has to give because this trend of ball-less interaction is nothing but a recipe for an uprising and I suspect the losing team won’t be the ones sporting a vagina. Damn babies!  Life is hard you ninnies so adding to the level of difficulty by clouding the issue of finding love, believing it  can work and how to keep it isn’t doing your confused comrades any favors. Pretty soon you’ll all just be wandering around sad and lonely asking random people, “Are you my soul mate?” in a zombie-like trance. This has nothing to do with rejecting gender stereotypes but everything to do with respect, consideration and pulling your weight. There is nothing remotely respectful in letting someone guess your intentions or allowing them to take on the continued bias when it comes to who STILL gets the heaping helping of shame in the “hook-up only” scenario. George Smith was the art director for the first season of shows taped at the ABC Hollywood Talmadge & Prospect lot.

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