I made my daughter’s date fill one of these out when he picked her up for their first date just over 10 years ago.
Having just gone through this with my 17yr olds first crush, I concur with a more the generalized, tamer verison. My dear friend has been trying to get attribution and links back to her post for every stolen image. These lists can be re-titled as 10 Glaring, Humor-deprived Examples of My Parent’s Boundary Issues. Personally, I’m glad my parents let me make mistakes when I was younger (within reason, of course). People, coming from someone who could have been way worse off, please let your kids make mistakes earlier, when the consequences for failure aren’t as devastating. Even as humor it makes me cringe to see this stuff because I hear parents say these things in all seriousness. But what bothers me are people who will in one breath be fine with one list but then cry sexist foul at the other. I don’t find this list particularly funny, but I don’t find it as damaging as most people either. I understand the need for some people to speak out and make sure that these overprotective stereotypes aren’t getting out of hand – and I agree with everything Aaron said in his piece – but I think this is harmless. I can’t figure out if this is white trash, wealthy entitlement, or liquor-soaked suburban posery (I just made that word up). Threats will only limit the number of grandchildren one has, how many pleasant family gatherings one will have to forfeit, how few healthy relationships one’s child will have. I would have no issue with my wee man one day bringing home a questionably dressed young lady or gentleman, as long as that kid was willing to openly talk with me. These rules are a bit hyperbolic but there are kernels of truth in them (just like the ones about daughters).
So you’re teaching your kids to base their self-worth against how much skin they show compared to others?
And since when did the length of someone’s skirt indicate their level of self-respect? A Meditation on Traveling the Road Where You BelongEvery story has a hero, will you be the hero in yours? No matter how times change, there are some old-school dating rules that will always remain relevant and help ladies preserve their dignity and respect when dating. Say you and a guy meet at some party and a spark ignited, and now, with Google, Facebook, friends and friends of friends, we can find out anything about a potential date – even where he works and his phone number. The same way a man should call you, he should also ask you out for a date — date meaning an agreed upon time and place. We’re all busy people, you don’t need to let a date drag out for too long out of politeness. If you space physical affection out, it will sync up with your emotional connection nicely.
Laura Willard is a law school grad who has successfully avoided using her education for eight years and counting. Unless your dating policy involves having none of it until your teen turns 30, you probably don't need someone to tell you what you should or shouldn't allow.
Patrina Reddick, MS, a Clinical Therapist who works with children, adolescents and families and Director of PIMOSH, says that in two parent households, both parents need to sit down and agree on the rules.
Don't wait until your teen is telling you she's ready to begin dating to talk about dating. Reddick says the one of the more significant factors in ensuring that your teen follows your rules is your own follow through. A collaborative effort between over 3 dozen contributors who care about the state of girls and have first-hand experience on the topic. In all seriousness (not that those are not serious) I wonder what rules you have in place for your daughter? A: You’re definitely not the only girl who feels her parents’ rules about relationships are less than fair. God’s blessings will make your heart rich and won’t have a bitter aftertaste like sin does. So even though you may never agree with your parents’ rules, I hope you realize that they do love you.
Having God’s blessing on your life is way, way, WAY better and more satisfying than the temporary pleasure of a boyfriend. Even though your crush seems perfect, if you’d have to go against your parents to date him, then he’s not God’s “perfect” plan for you right now.
On the bright side, as extreme as your parents’ no-dating rule sounds, it will most definitely save you a lot of heartache! Similar to what happened to me in that I was depressed off and on for years about not having a boyfriend or any guys who even liked me. I didn’t date during high-school because 1) I chose not to and 2) No one asked me out.
This reminded me of a book I love called Spoken For by Robin Jones Gunn and Alyssa Joy Bethke.
In the book, Robin talks about her nine year old neighbor Natalie who was upset that her parents wouldn’t let her go to an inappropriate movie with friends. She went on to tell Natalie that China plates are set apart for very special purposes, so she is protective of them. Best-selling authors DeMoss and Gresh team up to expose twisted messages about God, guys, appearance, and other falsehoods our media-driven culture feeds young women. I actually planned this blog post only for men at first, but I think that this topic is also of great interest to women. I am often asked by men, who have arrived back on the dating market after many years of marriage, whether it is okay to be interested in younger women. The fact that there are almost exclusively beautiful young women in advertising is not a mere coincidence: they attract men’s attention and link the product advertised to positive (and very sexual) emotions.
The Dating Guide For Men - A step-by-step guide on how to approach, seduce and keep women in your life. My son is an autonomous human being, and I hold no illusions that I can in any way micromanage his decisions or his behavior.


All you are demonstrating for them is that true love is demonstrated when another person tries to control and manipulate you. That said, from what I witness, the friends who were kept on the tightest leashes are paying for it now. As a result our daughters tended to date more well mannered guys and the not so great ones sort of faded away. And that instead of being kind and nonjudgemental and respecting everyone, they should make judgements on the human value of others based on a very objective criteria? Also, just because someone might have a low self esteem, that doesn’t give you the right to treat them as less of a human being. If he’s afraid of that, imagine other things he won’t be bold enough to do (like meet your father). I’m not saying a stranger should pick you up, but men you know should have no qualms about it. Even if you are really enjoying yourself with the gentleman, it is still dignified for you to end the date when it’s getting late.
If you kiss someone on the first date, which really isn’t cool, you should leave him wanting more for the next time you see him. If your teen tests the boundaries by, for example, saying out past her curfew following a date, but you can't bear to suspend her driving privileges for the full week you had previously warned, what does she learn? This book is a must read for fathers with daughters and youth workers who want to better understand the environment and consequences surrounding our girls. We have two kids, Brittany (25) and Trevor (21) I have been a Young Life leader for over 30 years and currently serve as the Regional Director for Young Life in Los Angeles. You might be surprised by how many parents—particularly Christian parents—are giving their daughters stricter relationship boundaries. And it can also help to know you’re not the only one living under relationship lockdown—even though I know it can feel like that at school, where it seems like EVERYone else is dating. Unlike your friends, you’ll have no regrets, no broken heart when that high school relationship ends, no drama from having classes with your ex, and no shame from physical sin.
Someone just asked me the other day why I’m not allowed to date till I’m 18, and I had a hard time answering! It’s not easy to be self-aware like that—to see your weaknesses and understand the benefits of waiting to be in a relationship. Robin asked if the girl wanted some fresh picked cherries that had been dipped in chocolate, and of course, she did.
Their insights will equip 13- to 19-year-olds to liberate themselves from deception and embrace God’s truth. Over and over again we hear the following malicious comment – mainly from women: “What a typical man! This is derived from the fact that women of their same age do not consider this an exactly proper behavior.
If a young woman can’t even date your son without being threatened, what is life going to be like when she marries him? I can only hope that through demonstrating respect for him, and myself… that he will understand how to be respectful of himself and others. Again, it’s not the funniest thing in the world, but I got it for what it was – classic misdirection humor. It just taught me to be timid, and to be wary of even trying to enjoy my own body or be comfortable. All people in all states of dress and sexual relationships deserve to be treated with basic human decency.
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Now it seems that the ladies are gradually losing their advantage, or more like giving away their advantage. However, no matter how much you dread it, at some point, your teenager will want to start dating. Many readers of this blog have very young daughters and you have not even thought of such things. There are lots of reasons why, I think, but the bottom line is that your parents care about you and want you to have the best shot at a beautiful love story. But the truth is, there are a lot of girls who won’t date in high school (because their parents won’t let them, they choose not to, or because no one asks them out).
The Bible promises that you’ll please God and life will go better for you if you obey your parents, even if (especially if) you don’t think their rules are fair.
There were times when my parents said “no” to things that I thought were just fine, and it caused a lot of tension in our relationship. But—honestly?—with so many girls who are emotionally scarred because of bad relationships in high school, “being different” might not be such a terrible thing after all. A native Californian, Jessie now lives near Denver, Colorado, with her husband and two daughters. I have often been tempted to compare myself to others, and this book has helped me to fight against those urges! Both of my parents had a divorce and explained why a courtship would be best and why they wish they had gone that direction. I wonder whether one is too crazy and the other is reasonable, or one is reasonable and the other is too relaxed. It might be good, though, to have a little chat with them (in the most mature, respectful way possible!) and explain exactly what you just shared.
This post was just meant to encourage girls who don’t feel their parents’ rules are fair—no matter WHAT those rules are! Robin took a stained paper plate out of her garbage can and started to pick up a few cherries.
She gave Natalie the cherries on the China plate and later sent her home with the plate to remind her that she herself was a fine china plate.
The reason is quite simple: while he, as a man, enjoys the luxury of being attractive to young women at a high(er) age, things are completely different for women.
Of course there will be many readers who simply won’t accept this, because it is actually contrary to the opinion of some people in our society of today, but unfortunately this is a scientific fact that cannot be changed even by society’s changing morals. I can also hope that the many open and honest communications we have had have prepared him for the depth of emotional intimacy that comes with adult relationships.


The entire list is designed to set up the author as an overprotective parent and then zing you with the last line about becoming your mother-in-law, which presumes that she has allowed you past all her insecurities about her son dating you and into the family.
It is important to give children a sense of respect for self and respect for others, assuredly, and there’s nothing wrong with having your own family’s way with dress code and the like, but goodness!
Teaching your kids that they are lesser because of that (as opposed to other behaviors like being bullies, physically and emotionally abusing others, ect.) is very detrimental. If you begin discussing dating well before your child hits the teen years, the talks won't be so out-of-the blue and awkward when they turn serious. Even though it's not always easy, especially when it makes life harder for Mom, enforcing the rules is just as important as making them. However, many of you have older daughters and you are in the middle of this tumultuous time of life. And—who knows?—maybe as they see you make wise decisions in the years ahead, they’ll invite you to have some input in their dating rules. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. And it can be sometimes hard to follow my strict parent’s rules (like beyond regular human reasonability), but I wonder whether I am stressing myself out in trying to do that or is it Biblical to go the extra arduous 100 miles of effort to obey my stricter parent? Let them know that you want to honor and obey them, and it would be easier to do so if there was one set of rules across the board. So many girls these days seem to just go from one guy to another, not caring so much if they like them, but that they’re wanted and in a relationship. Thanks for reading, Bookworm1, and for sharing your mom’s sage advice with all of us! In fact, if she is getting a divorce expecting to find lots of fun and sex and fulfillment with younger men, she will most likely be bitterly disappointed by reality. Because if a man does not find a beautiful young woman at least sexually attractive, then it is most likely that he has some bigger problems.
Therefore it is time for men to be masculine in this respect: Take a younger woman, if you have the opportunity to do so, because nature has designed you in such a way that this is exactly what you really want. By entering your email address you are also requesting and agreeing to subscribe to our email newsletter. Their parents controlled their bank accounts, so now they have poor ability to keep money aside to fall back on. But every bit of comedy, whether smart or ignorant, reveals a lot about the psychology of the comedian.
However, you probably can use tips on how to talk to your teen about dating, how to remain in charge and the importance of enforcing your dating rules. If your teen knows the boundaries and is clear on them, and if she understands the consequences, she's more likely to respect your dating rules. So my advice is to try your best to trust that God is using their decision to protect you, strengthen you, and grow you into the young woman He wants you to be. My parents asked me why I would want to be in a relationship where I would have to wait a couple of years before marriage was even a possibility.
And may God give you the strength and grace to see just as clearly when you do enter into a relationship.
However, not dating has driven me to develop deeper relationships with Jesus, my Parents, and my girl friends.
Especially when there’s so many new things I have to handle like going to college or getting a job. Everything else is simply just social conventions expressing other people’s selfish interests to stop you for their gain. And what could be a better demonstration of your love for them than to say “Hey, I trust you to make a mature decision. My son is only 2 years old right now, but I hope that I will be the best mother in law I can be, while still (appropriately) looking out for my son’s interests. The change to the clothing is to keep your clothes on your body and purchase the appropriate size for that body. We simply wanted modest clothing choices to already be established as she grew into the age when it would be necessary. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.
I don’t want my time with God to be crowded out any further because of some guy I like. In saying that, his decisions will be his adult decisions to make at the end of the day and that is how I will raise him. When we buy into the stereotypical mentality, we’re really saying we think our sons are dumb and that women (our own womenfolk) are all manipulative, dishonourable people. I have decided to save my kiss for marriage, save full on hugs for marriage, and not hold hands until I am engaged.
Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. For the past month or more, I prayed it would end for various other red flags I was seeing. Thank you God, for removing her from my sons life and I pray the lessons learned would not be forgotten.
Future Husband and strongly desire a spouse, but I am learning that God will take care of it.
It is not easy for me, but it helps that my parents are involved (they bring me back to earth when I start going off into lala land of guys). I know my husband will not be perfect, but I always think he will magically fix everything. One of my prayers is for God not to send my a potential spouse until I can be in a relationship and not put him above the God who loved me before I was even born.




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