A Situationship is a psuedo-relationship where one person is more committed than the other. Now granted, some people are perfectly fine being in a situationship, however, if this is not what you’re looking for or intended things to be, it can become a pretty fulfilling and frustrating experience. Check out our post about defining your relationship for tips on ensuring that you don’t end up in a dead-end situationship!
Relationship Consultant and Psychotherapist (in training), Dee's expertise in identifying maladaptive patterns in relationships has been sought by many and is said to be an "unparalleled" experience. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
The red flags were there as a warning that no good relationship would come from it, but they were ignored. These people should wait for an opportunity for good relationships rather than taking chances with such bad odds. A soul mate’s ex-girlfriend can be quite the problem, despite the fact that she is an ex. The way most of us (unconsciously) operate in relationships is the result of one or more illusions.
We hear what we want to hear early on in a relationship, rather than what is actually said. While writing “Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be,” I closely monitored couple’s conversations early in a relationship. We think that if the other person really loves us, they will change for us (sometimes even when they have told us they won’t). While people will alter their behavior for another, if it isn’t truly how they feel or what they want, they will likely return to their “default settings” at some point in the relationship. When we expect someone else to change for us to be happy, we become victims of whether or not they change. We think if we just alter ourselves (dress differently, eat differently, make love differently) the other will love us. Practice: Spend some time discovering who you really are, what you really want and learning to love yourself. We fall in love with the fantasy of what we want a relationship to be rather than paying attention to what it actually is.


We often see our relationships through the lens of what we are hoping the relationship will become rather than the truth. Practice: Notice if what you are wanting and what you are getting are actually the same thing. Einstein said something like, “You can’t solve a problem from the same state of mind that created it,” and this is equally true in relationships. There may need to be a conversation to clear things up between you and the person you’re dating. This can lead to resentment, arguments and the one of you (probably the woman) being left to their emotions and without the person you wanted.
Or, you refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you make your partner feel scared.
They weren’t necessarily born with them, instead they learned from their bad experiences. If your dating experience with someone has been horrible and totally stressful, why on earth would you enter into a relationship with them? When you are in a relationship with a soul mate who is a runner, who do you think they run to?
We have blamed our boyfriend, girlfriend, lover or spouse for our state of happiness, or perhaps more accurately, our unhappiness. After a few turns around the dating, mating and relating block we come to realize that none of these approaches to relationships work, or at minimum, do not withstand the test of time.
Surprisingly, people are often remarkably honest about what they think the problem in the relationship will be. Believe them when they tell you what will go wrong and remember actions speak louder than words. And, since happiness is actually an inside job, we may find that this is a never-fulfilled “wish list”. We may hope for a romantic, monogamous, exchange, or marriage and a happy family, or that the other will put our relationship above all else, when in reality one or the other may not be lining up with this vision. If we want our relationships to be REAL-ationships instead of something built on an illusion, we need a new practice.
A deep-rooted issue causes many people to start sabotaging their relationship even when things are going really great.


The problem with that theory is that if you are with the wrong person, in a bad relationship, you will miss opportunities for good relationships.
That’s ok, as long as you get the hell out of there and spend an eternity trying to make it work. We tend to look outside of ourselves for the cause of our problems, and thus, we seek outside of ourselves for solutions. One or the other will say something like, “I’m not ready for a monogamous relationship,” “Our religious backgrounds aren’t compatible” or “I don’t plan to ever get married or have children.” However, the other tends not to listen. Sometimes they don’t want to change and sometimes they can’t, at least not easily or without help. Even if he or she changes what we requested of them, we suddenly discover that there is another change needed and another because happiness is not generated from an external source. It is so tempting to give the wrong people a chance, because it is tiring looking for the best match. If someone is lonely, or afraid they will grow old alone, they may stick out a bad relationship because they don’t want to start over.
The problem with this approach to relationship repair is that we render ourselves victims, thinking we are not capable of creating change in our lives. In retrospect after all has gone astray, we vaguely and painfully remember the “I told you so.” We also realize that illusion number two was at work. They feel what they have is better than nothing, and who is to say they would find better than what they have right now?
Then, rather than continuing in unsatisfying illusions, we are able to use those qualities to find SOUL-utions for creating powerful, loving, lasting relationships.
Just because you leave and start another one doesn’t mean you left that bad relationship behind. Cut yourself lose and seek something better, because good relationships are worth the wait, and the effort. You will bring insecurities, ways of fighting, any list of bad habits along to infest your new relationship.



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Comments to «Dating vs relationship difference»

  1. SeNSiZiM_KaLPSiZ writes:
    Themselves??guess what, changing the sort of guys you want IS changing oneself looks is not.
  2. SeNSiZiM_YuReKSiZ writes:
    Comparing this partner to the one or are you accident.
  3. SATANIST_666 writes:
    Comes up to talk to you breath fresh when you want greatest problem is not who you are.