I was recently on a trip in Portland and met some individuals that shaped my mental process and how people see and view dating.
SubscribeEnter your email address below to receive information on our latest singles events, juicy dating tips, and special offers. I found that over the years, in the experience of setting up a gay first date or two, I am starting to realize that a person’s friends tell me a lot of who they are.
I run into the most trouble in regard to fluid introductions in the ideal of communication practices. I could tell right from the start of meeting him that he had quite the chip on his shoulder from his personal dating experience, probably through a gay dating site or two. When I approached his car, I saw the classic view of yellow and blue, and then he went to use the bathroom twice during our time together. He mentioned how he went to a gay nude beach the other day and how it seemed so normative to do something like this. With the infusion of technology and personal date practices, it polluted our opportunities of true engagement.


A person can sound amazing on paper, can look unbelievably handsome in a photo, but our attraction has to come from a physical standpoint.
We started off by asking where people where originally from, as well as what career they wish they had to break the ice. The most success in preliminary dating happens when someone meets someone else in the flesh, and feel it out and see if the chemistry starts doing its thing. He also mentioned how he showed up on this one date a week ago; the other guy said he was parking, and he never showed up.
Maybe he has an active bladder, which I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, or maybe he too, was victim of the succubus of dating applications.
It’s all about self-expression and being solid in how one feels in the external and internal sense from the most sensitive part of one’s vulnerability.
We are the first to complain about them, but we are victims of the same practices from a gay dating site or application. I kept asking questions because I just love how people can take something so avant garde and “dirty” in our culture and view it as something so normative.


However, you have to date smart, be open, but don’t be so open where you can start feeling tired of dating and let down. I was so glad I met him, because he was an amazing tour guide and was very excited about showing me “his city.” He talked about some of his experiences with a gay dating site. After we met, he was thanking me profusely for being so “sane, normal, kind, and generous.” I honestly had to think what I did to deserve such endearing commentary. I should just say, “thank you,” but my mind wondered why did my “normal” behavior registered so “abnormal” to him and in a positive way! I was communicative, was on time, actively listened and engaged in conversation, and of course, tried to give a damn about how I presented myself. Those expectations didn’t seem too much at all, but this made me realize that our standards of dating overtime have drastically changed.



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