But what I learned was how to get people's interest -- and, more than that, women's interest. That last one on there is the big one: women's response to being attracted to men is to try and make those men notice them. So, any time you catch a girl doing something that you read as her trying to make you notice her and pay attention to her, you can guess, with some degree of accuracy, that she's probably interested in you. That's the metric you use to figure out how to get a girl's attention: you look for girls trying to get yours. She then assess you -- are you an attractive guy, and are you attainable -- are you a guy she thinks she can get?
The point of this post is to help you realize how attention works, and how you can use the process to get women paying attention to you and get them attracted to you. Once you know how to get a girl's attention and use it and channel it into attraction, you have at your disposal a powerful tool.
So, that means we're talking primarily about what to do on point #1 above -- how do you get a girl to notice you?
For hitting it out of the park on #2, see the post on how to attract women, and read up on staying out of auto-rejection so that you're better able to understand how attainability works and why even attractive guys can sometimes get a cold shoulder after a girl notices them.
Women select for men they stand little chance of rejection by at least being friendly with.
That's why the noticing stage of attention is so crucial -- the other things that come after are important, but they're somewhat dependent on her personality and how she is, and less so on what you can do (especially step #3). Once a girl's taken notice of you, everything gets easier (assuming she likes what she sees!). These days, I still use the "be loud" philosophy to get myself to center stage at times, but sometimes I find you stand out even more when you let someone else be center stage, but you communicate your calm and control through your nonverbals from slightly off to the side. Especially for when you're just starting out though, "be loud" is something I'd recommend you figure out how to do if you've never done it much before.
The gist is, you want to stand out by being a cool, fun, playful-seeming guy, and at the same time get girls to lower their guards and realize that you're not some guy who's going to be rude or an asshole -- you're just going to make them feel good, which is all they really want.
Instead, get strong, confident, dominant body language, and catch women's eyes and attention by looking like a powerful man.
Getting women's attention is a grossly underserved topic in the pick up and dating industries, and I'm not really sure why.
If you're out and about, and you're dressed well and you stand out, and you get all eyes on you, and you command a room and others in an effortless way, and you're playful, and you're well-positioned physically, and you look confident and powerful, trust me -- women will take notice. This is something I've spent a lifetime honing, and I get constant attention and approach invitations from women trying to get me to talk to them everywhere in the world I go. Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook “How to Text Girls” FREE. While most guys try to be very nice and helpful to draw the attention of the woman they want, it's just doesn't work that. To get her attention you need to spice it up a little, be a little rood to her and not do everything she asks from you.
So I liked this girl and we had class together and we are acquaintances, but right before christmas I went up and told her I thought she was really cute and I have her some chocolate with my number in it and said she should call me sometime, and she did but not until New Years just to say happy New Years, and I see her all the time but she hasnt responded to the one text I sent her, and sometimes we make eye contact, but I dont know what Im suppose to do, because I follow your steps a lot, I make myself stand out, wear nice, stuff, people say I'm good at talking and I'm nice, but What should I do? Also about the whole "standing out" thing, I thought it would be good to kention my friend (also a nerd) always wears his porkpie. When it comes to the party or club scene it can be pretty intimidating to think about finding a lady to talk to, or whether or not anyone worth talking to will be interested in you.
This may seem like a pretty obvious one, but most men will shy away when it actually comes to making the first move. You’ll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their e-mail and number that easily. If you want a woman to take notice of you, you’ve got to stand out from those other guys in the room and not just be making people laugh. When you find a girl attractive or get drawn towards her, you look for ways to draw her attention towards you as well. While different girls have different choices, there are certain areas which you need to score in to woo a girl.


You might hang out with your friends wearing pajamas but when you want a girl to look at you, you need to spend some time in dressing yourself up.
She had long, wavy blonde hair, and for the life of me I couldn't stop staring at her legs.
And I knew that it was on me to figure out how to get her every bit as excited about me as I was about her. In "How to Attract Women," I spoke some about how I learned to attract women later in life. And what made the prettiest girls take interest I found I could boil down to basically a science. These are the guys you hear talking about how this girl seemed to start paying a lot of attention to them, and then they started chasing her, and then she got cold and disappeared. You're then able to get many women chasing you from the outset, and you vastly reduce the time and effort you need to put into getting together with a girl.
If you're clearly an archetype -- the rock star, the jock, the artistic guy, the genius -- whatever that archetype is, if you take it and own it with panache, women will find you interesting. They look for the jock to be friendly and sociable; they look for the artistic guy or the genius to show a playful side. Either a guy's enticing and alluring and makes women take note of him, or he blends in and looks the same as everyone else and he's invisible, or it's somewhere in between.
Which isn't to say you can't make it easier for her; if you put yourself in a position where it's easy for her to signal her interest to you, you make that a lot more likely to happen.
But that first step, that one's entirely on you -- and without it, neither of the later steps can occur, either. There're a number of ways of going about this, specifically, and while I don't necessarily recommend goggles and fuzzy top hats, suiting yourself up in interesting stand out items and accessories is a great way of getting yourself noticed fast.
Not necessarily volume-wise -- although you can do that too -- but when I say "be loud" I mean "make your presence known and felt." Back in 7th grade, when I was trying to get that pretty blonde girl's attention, I did this by being a classroom all star, answering tough questions on-point and making sure that I remained constantly visible. Even if you tone it down later, simply knowing how to command a room and bring the spotlight onto yourself is a very, very useful ability to have available for you to call upon when you need it. You might be surprised, but people pay more attention to those who seem effortlessly successful than they do to those who are feverishly scrambling about trying to make things happen. This one's a powerful one-two punch in that it both gets girls to notice you (Step #1 in our attention stages) and it positions you as quite down-to-Earth and very much attainable (Step #2 in our attention stages). I think this one's often overlooked, but positioning yourself so that you stand out and get noticed is one of the keys to getting that. I think the pick up guys assume that men are just going to be constantly approaching women non-stop without taking the time to stop and assess and position and make their lives a little easier, and I think the dating industry people just really have no idea how men meet women in the first place at all. And they'll probably be attracted, and they'll probably (if you're doing everything right) view you as attainable. I'm not especially tall or extraordinarily good-looking; it's just that, ever since 7th grade, I've worked to make myself the kind of man that people just took notice of, and quickly, or even instantly, became enamored with. For good looking woman it's not enough simple because she gets this kind of attention everywhere and all the time. When it really comes down to it, a woman wants somebody who can show her that they’re decisive and can take action. Women are usually good judges of character so if you use some random pick-up line she’s going to notice.
However, this doesn’t negate the fact that what most women want in a man is somebody to make her laugh and feel comfortable. Take a note from your high school yearbook and find a social niche that you can really rock. No matter how different girls are, most of them expect their guy to have a specific set of qualities. These skills are gain more prominence when you are trying to draw a girl’s attention towards you. If you are an extremely serious person, people would not like to spend time with you or talk to you. What I want to talk about in this post, though, was how I learned to get women's attention; how I learned to make women take note of me, start keeping track of me, and begin to become intrigued.


If you don't peacock -- if you dress like everybody else right now -- ask yourself if blending in and not sticking out is the best way to get what you want in life. I also used my sense of humor to position myself at center stage; the combination of smart guy + witty guy made me a killer, alluring combo that quickly had all the cute girls in middle school pursuing me. This is the basis behind sprezzatura and the Law of Least Effort; it's why those things work. She seemed nice enough, but sometime she laughed at my jokes and sometimes she rolled her eyes at everything I didd.
You’ve got to make yourself noticed in such a way that the object of your desire finds herself watching you in return.
Telling her that you saw her across the room and couldn’t stop staring so you wanted to come introduce yourself is honest and direct. Kicking up your humorous side at a house party or social gathering where she can see your great sense of humor in person is a quick way to get yourself noticed.
Bring out your bad boy persona or hipster duds for the night and you’re more likely to cause a stir.
Guys tend to stereotype girls and their preferences and rely on a set of tools to woo them.
You must be careful while you are doing so.  You must have softness in your gaze and warmth on your face. Your outfit makes an instant impression and even though they do not admit it, when people see you for the first time they judge you by the kind of clothes you are wearing. If the girl feels you do not respect her or are doing something that suggests you do not care for her, she would not like to spend time with you.
Because it was those early lessons in middle school, as well as the ones that were to come years later, that allowed me to today find it quite easy to get girls noticing me seemingly (from their points of view) before I've noticed them, and it's an important element of getting them to chase.
Assuming you want to be more than another brick in the wall, I'm guessing the answer's probably "no" -- and that means you've got to start calling attention to yourself in strategic, well-planned ways.
Not like a Victoria's Secret model, mind you, but like a male model, perhaps, or like a powerful man. Do you have any quick tips, articles, or solid advice on how to have a strong presence without being that "loud guy" always begging for attention? Check out these 3 tips for attention grabbing that you can use the next time you’re out on the town.
While it is not wrong to assume that girls find certain qualities and traits in a guy to be irresistible, there are several other things which the guys fail to take into account. Once you make the first move and know her well, you could work further on your personality and do things that you know that particular individual will appreciate. A good command over the language you converse in, correct grammar and the right pronunciation go a long way in helping you to win brownie points. Even if you have a brash side to you, you must control it and stop it from coming to the fore when you are speaking to her or are around her. You must keep yourself fit, comb your hair properly and do everything that would help you put forward a confident self. I see most guys standing around, and they stand around with slumped shoulders and uncomfortable body language.
It should also help you feel more comfortable in your skin if you’re talking to people that you already know. Approaching a girl could make you slightly jitter but you must get over your fear and believe in yourself. That's not appealing, and it makes them fade into the masses of slumped shouldered, uncomfortably posed people. But IM in high school now and I want to be able to get a girls Attention without doing all of that.



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