March 17, 2014 by Bryan 180 Comments A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women, especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention my wife and family early in the conversation. Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and strong. Even though those were just a couple quick examples, I know there are a few of you out there that need to step up your role as a husband.
Now that I have your attention, here are 5 things every married man should do around single women. A married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple great and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his office or place of work. I really like that this article offers men sound and practical advise about promoting to others the happiness and importance of the marriage relationship. Hannah, first off, thank you for taking the time to read the article and share your thoughts. In regards to the predatory statement, please understand that the intent of the article was to not diminish the value of women in any way; instead it was to make men aware of their actions around women other than their wife. As a tip for Hannah, When you find yourself with men or even one man, always remember that there are two points of view from the man. I do not believe that Hannah implied she only seeks advice about marriage from her married friends but that she looks to them as individuals and as a couple to be an example in all ways.
Finally, I think it is great that you have good relationships with married couples, including the men. Yes, trust definitely makes a HUGE difference, as well as the fact that in my circle of friends and co-workers, we are all Christians (as opposed to a secular workplace, where it is probably much more difficult).
In closing, I believe this article has already helped many men and marriages that might have been in trouble. Bryan, as a single, attractive Christian woman, I can tell you that his choice of words was not extreme.
My husband works in a predominately female workplace and he always texts or calls to let me know when a group is going to lunch. He is also really good at introducing me to all of the coworkers he talks to regularly when I visit him.
As I said above as well, future posts will deal with other relationships which, I hope, help you realize my intent was not to alienate single women. I know sometimes, men who cheat on their wives sometimes paint this picture, like they are honorable and all that. Perhaps he wants his daughter to graduate high school first or his wife has just being diagnosed with cancer and he thinks now is not the time. You are a treasure and there is a handsome, Prince Charming somewhere who needs to find you. I sincerely apologize up front for being this blunt but open your EYES for a NUMBER of reasons, ladies, because categorically every single one of you are total fools and are being played. When a marriage goes through a crisis, it can either be the breaking point of the relationship or it can be a vehicle for moving forward as a stronger couple.
Thanks Ronke for writing this wonderful article about why a woman should date a married man. Who…If you don’t know much about him except what you’ve gleaned from a casual conversation, you don’t know his relationships. What the relationship is actually is needs to be examined.Is it so casual you don’t have his full name?
Its even sadder when a woman intentionally dates a man she knows is married.for the record cheating on my wife, has never entered my mind. Not every one lives in America, knows the full real name of the chap, or can trust their record office. Who could have guessed that a Boston investment banker would be behind one of the biggest debut novels of 2011? From He's Just Not that Into You to Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, women have gotten a lot of advice about how to deal with men. But I doubt that any other relationship book has had a cuter book trailer than Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey. Lines like "Maggie, You are a beautiful, strong-willed, independent girl and if Johnny doesn't see that, it's his loss" sound funny coming from such a young girl's mouth but I've probably said something similarly cliched to some of my friends. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: it will remind you why you love her so much and it will make for a great conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it.
I’m saying to be careful where your eyes travel and how long they travel for when you are in the presence of an attractive single women. Your wife’s feelings are and will always be more important then the woman you need to take these steps with.
Lies or hidings will eventually be in the open (or caught) and will cause a lot of heartache.
I can appreciate the fact that you found the points to be useful in keeping marriages strong. At many points in the article I mention to not be rude, to be polite and to be professional to all women.
There is definitely discussion going on about the type of relationship you mentioned and others types as well. You must keep in mind that you are talking about married couples who are your close friends. I dislike the idea that as a married man (married for one year), I now have to act differently. I feel it would not be wise of me to say to much in response since you suggested that you are a marriage counselor, you know the state of marriage and the problems most likely much better than myself. Not always knowing how to strike the balance of supporting couples is never caring for single women either.
Admitting those weaknesses to those close to you keeps accountability at the forefront where it should be. As long you can control your own mind and your actions, you don’t ever have to worry. Just because someone is married does not mean attraction can’t still form between them, indeed, isn’t that the point of this article? In no way was this post trying to diminish the value of women, instead it was meant to make men aware of their actions around single women.
It was specifically written to married men to help them keep their marriage strong and healthy.

Sometimes, something goes to the wrong direction just because of our own words, action and close interaction around single women. Why would anyone choose to be with a man who is already committed in marriage to another woman? He is the one who keeps disrespecting his wedding vows, his wife and his kids if he has any. He makes you think he’s this caring guy who still cares about his terrible wife and his innocent kids right? Her methods teaches women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage. Everyone makes mistakes within their marriage but some mistakes are more monumental or life changing.
But, the question is why do single women fall in love with a married man although there is many other single men??.
This is such a red flag that only those with subterranean self esteem would ever agree to a date with less than 24 hours warning. But the only accurate and complete data that we can sure that he is, is by check the public marriage record provided for us. If you are about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider if you need it on or not, LEAVE!
Update the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your relationship is continuing to grow. You know that once you engage in the first serious look you have signed the dotted line for more eye trouble. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn’t.
The single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no match to your wife and family. Accountability with another brother is key to success in that area and all the others above. I also like the fact that you engage with married couples, both the man and the woman, to find out more about marriage. I think friends are friends, and I’ve never let the boundaries be crossed by myself or anyone else. I do, however, feel your choice of words were much more extreme than what was represented in the article.
Those attitudes express a married man who is publicly able to handle himself around other women. If you feel there is much more to the process in dealing with single women as you say, I would be willing to work with you on a possible future article. I have lots of friends that aren’t and are and I feel this applies to both men and women they both flirt. I trust him so it feels silly for him to do it but he says it keeps him accountable and he will know when something crosses the line if he hesitates to tell me. I think making it about all women would be less accusatory towards single women, indeed, this is all the more important so that those who are single don’t feel even more alienated. As a single Christian Woman I find it hard to hard to integrate and have genuine conversation with people without all this going on. With the divorce rate so high, more men need to be aware of the importance of their marriage and what actions will help them protect it. Well, if you are single and considering dating a married man, I will give you 5 solid reasons why you should go ahead and do it.
Such is the case when a husband has an affair, lies about something critical or hides things from his wife. All women think that the main reason behind a married man seeking an extra-marital relation is sex? It is very important for women to use these principles from the beginning of a relationship so you don't end up getting hurt. If they are tired of nursing broken hearts, this is the only way out of it and into a blissful life!
These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Your family should be your first priority wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day.
I kept advising him to be careful not to lead any of them on because women tend to have feelings to men who give them extra attentions. It makes sense for married couples to teach and help singles in their relationships and in their future marriage endeavors. So just engage meaningful conversation with men protectors and you won’t have any problem.
This is of course wrong, and my goal was to make men aware of those facts and provide tools for keeping their marriage relationship safe and strong.
Now, I realize that this was written for the men, and this us try to help them when they are tempted to let their minds wander wrongly, but it comes at the cost of implying that single women (who are often serious fans of virtue and fidelity in men because they long for that someday in their lives) are dangerous, even if just to the man’s mind. I do agree that this applies to married women as well, and I hope to have another post out soon that deals specifically with the relationship of married men to married women. If the other person is married or not you should have the self control to do all the above, because that is what being married is all about! I have personally known women who have either cheated on their husbands, stolen from their husbands, flirted with other men (single and married) while married to their husbands, even leave their husbands for another man who is either married, or single, or in a crumbling relationship. Having healthy relationships with people at church and going on missions when there are always other people around to keep everyone accountable is one thing, but the church is full of adulterers just as the world is. If she is cool with you still engaging with other women with her not around, then you are good to go. That is great until you start having little disagreements that build up, start a job that puts you around beautiful women or place yourself around friends that don’t have a wife to be responsible for. Married man to married women, single man to single women, married women to single men, etc… I hope that will help you better appreciate and understand why it was written this way.
We all have to move beyond wanting to feel good all the time to staying committed to our spouse and staying true to our vows.
You have to sever the relationship and trust that the man meant for you will walk into your life. Even though he may not have set out to hurt her, the consequences can be devastating not only for the woman he married, but for the family, in general.

Women need to do their own investigation because a lot of men that are married won't tell you that they really are so they can have their cake and eat it too. However, it seems like married men are the ones who are infamous for dumping their good old wives. Are men more into cheating after they get married or is just that they don't even consider it as 'cheating' before they are bound in a holy matrimony?
When this happens, you have to make the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way by mentioning your beautiful wife and family.
I feel a personal conversation shouldn’t ever reach these external conversations in the first place. This is a no brainer for those that are in a good relationship, but men flirt with married women as well, my wife have men that are extra nice to her at work because she is a woman and maybe could use a “little help” even with her wedding ring on! Men are not exempt from feelings and emotions, no more or less than woman are, and women are not exempt from desires of cheating no more or less than men are.
A man who is currently cheating on his wife doesn’t have the ability to love you the way you should be loved.
If it is sex for both sides, that should be very clear from the start with all the conditions of the relation being clear and even how to cut it.
He said he is happily married and only coming around for sex and only when he has the time maybe a half hour tops.
The service has been used by thousands of people to find out if someone is married before getting into a long term relationship with them.
Seriously, get out of that situation, your vows, marriage, children and more depend on those important decisions. These men have helped me with a car problem, offered to install a flood light on my back porch, hooked up a router for my internet. I think, (IMO) that one of the greatest things marital relationships suffer from other than financial stress, and infidelity issues, is the never ending changing roles of genders that stemmed from the women’s lib movement.
And Satan continues to vehemently tear away at this very basic union sanctioned by the One True God. And yes, you must be able to control your own mind and know when boundaries are needed or not. If he really loves you, how many of his family members has he introduced you to as his girlfriend, fiancée or whatever?
God who created you thinks of you as beautiful and precious, don’t let someone use and toss you into the trash can. I would say anything to get it, and granted these were not cheats in marriages, but each act was still cheating.
I am waiting on my godly Prince, but as for now, God is the BEST HUSBAND I could ever have. A casual date in a public place where there’s a lot of discussion as a ‘get to know’ is one thing. You might have had the choice many times to engage in flirty conversation or go out with co-workers after work. Frankly, my experience in marriage counseling has been that more often it’s two married people commiserating about the trials of spouse and family that is the spark and powder keg of mental (and other) infidelity.
If fulfilling your sexual desires with a married man let you feel as a sinner , so it is more if you fall in love with a married man.
Is he taking you to some popular spot or some out of the way dive?HowHow is the date arranged?
If this is you and your wife is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your position as the husband and leader. Secondly, he is hiding things, meaning the msgs he is having the girls are not so innocence type. Nevertheless, if there is one thing that cannot, nor ever will be changed, it will be a man’s innate desire and ability to procreate in this world naturally!
My hat’s off to Bryan for encouraging men to recognize the inherent vulnerability God has created in us, that can lead to lust, sin, sorrow, heartbreak, destruction of families, and divorce. After Adam accepted the offer from Eve, God turned His attention from Eve and confronted Adam, who promptly blamed Eve, and then had the temerity to blame God Himself for giving Eve to him as his wife! Take the necessary steps to make your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t forget it. This pattern of mankind to defer responsibility to someone else has been repeated ad nauseum ever since.
Only after I felt that pain myself did I vow to never hurt another woman as long as Iive (by cheating). All I can do is pray for a pure heart and deflect the conflict that arises from couples when behavior prompting this article arises. Perhaps because of my earlier actions I never will and that will be my lesson in life this go-round — BUT HEAR THIS! Both women I fell in love with and who claimed to be in love wih me cheated on their husbands WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE (ie they said they were already divorced but lied) before we became monogomous. Does he drive up to your door, come in, spend a few minutes, or do you meet him on some corner as he drives up?
They have no intention of jeopardising the stability of their marriage but the risk factor thrills them.
If and after we have become His children, we are frequently guilty of disobeying His commands or falling short of His glory, and need our fellowship restored through our confession (acknowledgment) of our sin(s). If you have to meet him on a corner, at a club, so no one can assume he is with you is evidence he wants no publicity. Married women often think about their kids and future before they walk out on their cheating husbands. A man has to give himself to God DAILY and let his old self die for strength and hope that he can get through the day unaffected by the bombardment.
Couple all that with having to work with ladies around you and keep your mind pure is terrible difficult, it takes a ton of self discipline and giving all impure thoughts to God, right then and there.
As she lives across town where he never has to be save to collect her, there’s absolutely no likelihood Mrs. Married calls at 1 PM to advise she won’t be home until 1 am he can start his phoning at 1:10.

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