Most women trying to get back together with an exboyfriend make things harder than they need to. Does it seem like everything you do to make your boyfriend want you again only serves to push him further away? The first thing you need to realize is that your ex has already broken things off with you. If every time you speak to your ex you're saying things geared to getting him to change his mind, he's going to be defensive. Hands down, the most effective method to creating a bond between you and your exboyfriend is to establish a common alliance between you.
Forming an alliance against the problem parts of your relationship will go a long way toward making your ex listen to you. If you can pull off such a scenario, you've created an environment in which your ex can begin thinking about getting back together with you. The full title of this instantly-downloadable resource is The Woman Men Adore and never want to leave.
Bob Grant teaches you the 5 things men crave in a relationship, and the number one reasons why men choose to get married and stay with a partner rather than look for someone else. Within the many chapters of this relationship repair guide you'll find truthful advice on why men don't always listen when you talk to them, and how to get your man to REALLY comprehend what you're saying to him. Talking on the phone is one of those strategies and today I intend on remedying this mistake. This article is going to teach you everything I know about talking to your ex boyfriend on the phone from start to finish.
In fact, some of the closest people to me have told me that I should be charging you for this information. BECAUSE IT IS THAT GOOD!Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? While this whole website may be dedicated to that this guide is just focusing on one piece of the puzzle, talking on the phone.
When you just generally look at the process of getting an ex boyfriend or husband back you can typically divide the process up into three main parts after the no contact rule. Alright, so the thing to remember about this graphic is that all of these building blocks occur after the no contact rule. So, priority number one is always going to be the no contact rule and what to do during it.
Do you see how each building block builds upon one another until the ultimate goal of winning an ex back is accomplished?
So, that means that if you are wanting the full step by step process of getting an ex boyfriend or husband back then you are going to have to find a guide that merges these three building blocks together.
Remember, this particular page is only focusing on building block two or the phone call portion of the process. In the section above we discussed the three building blocks of getting an ex back after the no contact rule. Well, that means that this guide is going to be focused specifically on building block two or talking on the phone with your ex. Transitioning from a texting conversation to a phone call isn’t as hard as you may initially think. Of course, the thing to remember is that it’s not a great idea to call your ex out of the blue and expect to have an amazing conversation with him. What I would like to do now is show you how to turn the conversation above into a full blown phone conversation. The beauty of a transition story is the fact that its ten times more effective than just calling your ex out of the blue. After the story is complete then you are golden because you have succeeded in getting your boyfriend on the phone and you can take the conversation anywhere you want from there. Of course, before you go crazy with your newfound tactic here lets set some guidelines for talking on the phone with your ex. I don’t want to chain you down with too many rules so I am going to keep this as brief as I can. Below I have compiled a list of the three major guidelines that you need to follow when you are on the phone with your ex boyfriend. Maybe you say something that sets him off or he says something that sets you off and before we know it the two of you are red in the face and screaming at each other over the phone.
Ideally I would like you to have more attraction built before you bring your past relationship up. Because men are more accepting of things that make them upset when they have STRONG feelings for someone. Of course, if she waited to tell me until I was in the best mood ever then I probably wouldn’t be as upset. I have a very unique way of teaching women to end conversations first on the phone and I am going to teach it to you on this page, just not right this second. The truth is that I am not talking about any of those things when it comes to building attraction on the phone.
Take me for example, I was in a long distance relationship with my wife for close to six months which meant that we had to talk exclusively on the phone and build attraction that way. Our phone conversations would start by talking about our days and then somehow we would wind up discussing tsunamis and what we would do if we ever encountered one. The point I am trying to get at here is that we always seemed to have something interesting to say and quite honestly it created this bond between the two of us that proved to be unbreakable. You and your ex boyfriend are about to talk on the phone and you are super excited about this fact. Once you are on the phone you realize that you don’t have anything to talk to him about and you panic. If you go into talking on the phone with your ex boyfriend without being prepared it’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight. Before you call your ex boyfriend make sure you have a list of at least 5 interesting things to say while you are on the phone with him. Below I am going to tell you five things about myself and using these five things we are going to come up with an interesting script to use against me if you were hypothetically trying to get me back instead of your boyfriend.
I am fascinated by Entrepreneurship specifically people who make a living selling products over the internet. So, I just gave you a run down of five topics that I would enjoy discussing if I was on the phone with someone.
You: Oh, nothing much… I actually just got done binge watching the latest season of House of Cards!
Now, obviously this conversation could be fleshed out even more but if I actually fleshed it out we would be here all day. Do you see the advantage to having these strategic “interesting points” to talk about on the phone?
The real challenge you face is that you are going to have to put together a list like the one I gave you for your ex boyfriend.
In other words, I find them interesting and as a result I will associate you as an interesting person if you bring them up.
No, it’s to build up so much attraction that either he asks you out on a date or says yes to you asking him out on a date. Obviously in a perfect world it would be HIM asking you out but there are cases where you will have to take the bull by the horns and ask him out but more on that later. I can tell you from personal experience that I have never asked a girl out who I thought was uninteresting.
Umm… I am afraid to break it to you but no man in the history of the universe has ever done that.
How do you become interesting to an ex boyfriend when he already knows everything there is to know about you.
There are a couple of major things that you can do that stand out in my mind to accomplish this task. What I am about to teach you about ending conversations prematurely on the phone is truly a game changer.
I have to give credit to my wife for using this on me to build attraction when we were still dating. Now, I would never admit this to my wife in person (can’t let her get a big head) but she was a master on phone tactics to build interest and attraction. There was actually one time before my wife and I got married that we were having a conversation on the phone that was absolutely amazing. I must have called her 8-10 times trying to get a hold of her and each time there was no answer. Even if her phone was bad it was an ingenious tactic because she left me always wanting more.
It was something I haven’t ever experienced before and on some level it fascinated me and made me want to work until I was the most important thing to her. So, the lesson I want you to take from this is the fact that it’s not just about leaving the conversation early. The conversation starts out kind of slow with both parties feeling each other out and then with enough attraction or interest being built the conversation picks up.
Of course, if you stay on the phone with someone too long then you will wear out your welcome. The conversation starts to dip as you run out of ideas on what to talk about or you simply just get tired of talking. This part of the conversation is represented in the dip after the high pint in the graph above. This is exactly where my wife used to kill our conversations and let me tell you it was the most effective tactic ever. It’s funny, the very first article I ever wrote for this site was a 10,000 word guide to getting your ex boyfriend back. For example, that guide is predicated around the idea that if you build up enough attraction through text messages (building block one) you are supposed to call your ex boyfriend and ask for a date on the spot.
It’s been close to three years since that guide has come out and I must admit that, that is not the best way to approach getting a date with your ex. Instead, the smartest thing you can do to get a date with your ex boyfriend is to build attraction through texting AND phone calls and once you feel you have hit a point where he won’t say no that is when you pull out the date card. In a perfect world you will have built up enough attraction to where your ex would ask you out on a date on his own accord without you having to take charge and make a date. So, that means that your chances of success for a date are completely reliant on how well you build attraction not just in text messages but on the phone as well. Before I get into the meat of this section I feel compelled to mention that if your ex boyfriend asks you out say yes. What I would like to talk about now is what to do if your ex boyfriend has not asked you out on a date yet. A woman will come to this site, read about my no contact strategies, implement them and then when her ex doesn’t contact her during the no contact period she freaks out and promises not to break down and contact him first.
Sometimes he is too scared to do it himself so you have to tell him its ok with your actions by asking him out.
Well, firstly there is the fact that usually the only way an ex will say yes to a proposed date is if enough attraction is built on your part. If your ex boyfriend has the qualities above in his communications with you then you can move on to the phone tactic that I am about to explain below.
Now, before I move on I do want to mention that 8 times out of 10 if you do build enough attraction your ex boyfriend WILL be the one to set up a date on his own accord. If you do decide to opt for option B (which we are for the purposes of this article) then you can only do it when the conversation is going well. Because your ex is more likely to say yes to a date when he is having fun in a conversation as opposed to when he isn’t.
Now, I realize that this script is very specific and not every couple has a bakers together but this can work with anything.
Now, the funny trick here is that your favorite place together doesn’t really have to be closing down.
So, pick a favorite place the two of you constantly frequented when you were dating and go from there. Once you plant the date seed he should catch on and take the reigns about asking you out even though technically you made him do it! My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. Hey Chris, what do you when you have followed all the steps, but cut the no contact rule about a week early?
If I was Cordy and I got stabbed through the stomach after searching for my boyfriend only to find him kissing his best girl friend, I’d tell him to take a hike too. 2- The reason for the break up was not clearly stated by him, but did end fairly amicably (no intensely heated arguments, he even said for me to try calling him in two months…oddly specific). Right now, it's probably painfully obvious (to everyone) that you want your ex back, and that you'd do "anything" to get them.
Not only does this establish your independence (and future non-reliance on your ex), but it puts you back in some semblance of control.
There are lots of other things you can say that will help get back with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, as long as you have a complete step by step plan. Throughout Ex Boyfriend Recovery you will probably notice that I talk a lot about talking, specifically how to talk when you text someone. After all, when it comes to the subject of talking to your ex boyfriend I am sure that there will be a lot of questions. Throughout this page I will be sprinkling in internal links to PRO where I feel it is necessary. In order for me to feel like I have done a good job explaining this particular rule I have to explain a major difference between the way men and women talk. We have already established that being too overemotional usually isn’t a great idea when talking to a member of the opposite sex. Before you even begin to have a talk with your ex boyfriend you need to make sure you are in a zen state. When talking about confidence in relationships what’s the first thought that comes to mind. No matter what your ultimate goal is with your ex boyfriend when you talk to him I want you to be confident.
There is a pretty big problem I am seeing from the women who communicate with me on this site. This puts me in an interesting predicament because while I do want to tell you to slow down and get your mind right before you try to talk to your ex I also know that I can’t control what you do.
Anyways, the key problem I see with women who talk to their ex too soon is the fact that they aren’t confident.
While I am not going to go into specific details about how you can become more confident (out of fear that this page would turn into a confidence page.) I will tell you a quick tip. In this section we are going to explore the different ways that you can communicate with an ex boyfriend. As a result, I am going to be talking about the proper form you should exhibit when you talk to your ex using the methods of communication outlined here. Now, I bet you are wondering why we are going to be looking at two groups instead of the one you really care about (lovers or I guess in your case ex lovers.) Well, I wanted to give you a group to compare to so you can understand the difference between how you communicate with a certain category of people. One thing I have noticed when talking to friends is that I really don’t care about a response very much. However, the dynamic completely shifts when you talk to someone that you could potentially date (or date again in your case.) Now all bets are off and you really care about a response. While I don’t have some PHD in relationships there is one thing I know a lot about and that is texting. While I can’t get into any specifics yet (I will do that later) I will tell you something fascinating I have learned that you can apply anytime you talk to someone. One thing about me (and most other men) is that when we talk to someone we want complete control.  Lets take a moment and define what I consider to be control of the conversation.
Control- You are controlling the conversation if the other person you are talking to is putting more effort in. This is really important so I am going to give you a few examples to show you what I am talking about. Notice how the second person in the conversation typed such a long message while the first one typed a short one.
When you call and talk to someone you are not given the advantage of being able to think through your responses.
So, rather than script some robotic response for you to say I think it would be better of me to teach you what I have learned about communicating when I want to accomplish something. If you are not in a place emotionally where you can remain calm then DO NOT talk to your ex on the phone. The next thing that you need to accomplish is having the ability to leave your ex wanting more.
The story I am about to tell you will probably make you laugh but at the same time I want it to serve as a reason why scripted responses are never a good idea. One day one of the members of our creepy little group bet me that I couldn’t get a date with the THG.
I will be the first to admit that there are times when I am talking to someone I am attracted to that I stop listening to what they are saying and just daydream. Because, it has been a few weeks since that conversation and I still think about that daydream.
Another interesting aspect to talking to someone in person is that just like with texting there is someone who controls the conversation and someone who doesn’t. I have found that whenever I talk to someone, if I am the one that has to put more effort into talking then I am the one that is more invested in the conversation. Lets take a look at some of the most common goals that people tend to have when talking to an ex boyfriend.
The point I am trying to make here is that in this particular section I can’t cover every little detail that absolutely needs to be covered.
So, the real question becomes how can you get to a point where you can be a little emotional and not have your ex freak out? Lets take a step back here and dissect what I am talking about because these concepts are really important.
NEWSFLASH this isn’t the type of deal where you can close your eyes and all of a sudden you can just get over your ex boyfriend. There are some women out there that think they are entitled to have things go their way all the time.
I want you to remember that this section is all about moving on from an ex boyfriend and just like trying to get an ex boyfriend back there is a certain way that you will have to talk to your ex if you want to move on from him. Most people will tell you to flat out ignore him and while I do think that is an important part of the process I only think it should be done in the beginning stages.
I have actually seen women do so well with moving on from their ex to only fall back in love with him after talking to him.
So, if you are wanting to move on from him then they key for you is to be respectful but very careful. While you don’t want things to be awkward the number one goal is to care for your well being and not his.
Most of you would probably point at the three examples I gave above (bad news, etc, etc) as prime reasons and while your assumption would be correct it is not the entire story here.
So, the real reason we got into an argument was because of the way he had approached talking to me about something. If you were to approach your particular situation in a very calm manner I am betting that most arguments you have would have been avoided. We were together for about 3 yrs, coming up on our 3rd year anniversary he told me he couldnt do this anymore an that he loved me soo much an i am his best friend and he cried for days and days, he never does that ever!
Part of the reason was for the distance and not being able to see eachother as much, he told me it wasnt fair to either of us, but he wants to still be my best friend, i didnt mind our distance tho, because in my heart i knew we were together, he wants me to be able to have a life, an said right now we cant be together because ultimately i cant relocate to where he is for about 5 yrs, due to children and ex, he never crys and cried for days about doing this an kept sayn he just has to stick to the decision. Chris, i desperately need some relationship help and advice about my boyfriend that just broke up with me! We also were very close to eachothers children and it breaks my heart when my kids ask about him and want to talk to him, and his children always want to talk to me, his childrens mother is completely out of the picture, and i got so close to his kids, and he was always the loner type, but he also said that he is gettn older now and wants someone there everyday and to be able to have companionship everyday, and he knows how bad i want it too, but how can i let him know that we should try to work on this so i can be the one for him? Can you write something on how to talk to your ex, if he has someone (like a friend or something) who tells him what to do or what to say?
Winning your ex back requires that you get him to call you, but what do you say to him when you've finally got him on the phone? By making the decision to try and get back together with him, you're effectively saying that you love and support him. When you've finally reached a positive frame of mind, your exboyfriend will definitely notice. Eventually, your ex will make contact with you (there are some really good tips on how to do this). If your boyfriend suggests another phone call, you can agree with him - but don't suggest a specific date or time yourself. The best part about such a conversation is how dumbfounded your exboyfriend is going to be.
By getting off the phone so quickly, it feels almost as if he's now chasing you instead of the other way around.
Hands down, one person has helped reunite more couples than any other author on the internet.


No matter which stage of reconciliation you might be stuck on, The Magic of Making Up can help you over that speed bump. Instantly downloadable, The Magic of Making Up is wildly popular for a very good reason: it works. Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Don’t worry though, I saw this problem and spent two months creating that step by step plan people were clamoring for. You are going to discover that this page is really long, in-depth but more importantly, it is going to help you to not only get your boyfriend back but to rediscover yourself in the process. I thought the best way to go about the rest of this page would be to take an in-depth look at each step of the ex recovery process starting with your break up and what to do immediately after it. Ok, before we do any soul searching or serious strategizing you are going to have to implement the no contact rule. If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it. Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid.
Your ex boyfriend is probably going to start wondering why you aren’t talking to him and possibly may even begin to miss you.
Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future. However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs. Another thing that you always hear guys saying is the fact that they are constantly nagged to death by their girlfriends.
Nagged To Death = A man looks at this as if his woman no longer is satisfied with what he has to offer or bring to the table. Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. A lot of times what can happen is an ex can realize what they missed about you once they are settled in with their new person. A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. Everyone always thinks they could do better until they go out and realize that the relationship they had before wasn’t so bad. A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. One thing that needs to be made clear is that if you are going to seriously invest the time and effort to get your ex boyfriend back you are going to have to adopt a new mindset. The big goal that you should strive for is to create a relationship with your ex boyfriend that is not only new but better. To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever. So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger. If you can’t already tell I truly do enjoy helping women strategize on how to get their ex boyfriends back. As a general rule it is good to have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your significant other.
If you break your no contact period agreement (talking to him in any shape or form before the 30 days are up) then you have to start your 30 day no contact period over. Ok, so those are pretty much the most basic things of the big NO-NO’s of the no contact period.
Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. You can change your hairstyle- I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts. Get in shape- There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea.
Clean up your diet- Again, this is another great way to feel better about yourself and notice how it is the opposite of sitting around eating ice cream all day.
Clean up any skin problems you have- If you have excessive acne or any unwanted moles you can get those taken care of. So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. Focus on work- It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Write in a journal- Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal. Have fun- If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them.
It shows you are moving on- In a strange way you kind of want your ex to know that you are on a date with someone. It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident.
It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex. It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor.
You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. I don’t know about you but if I got a letter out of the blue from an ex girlfriend I might be a little creeped out. You should try to create a message that is so interesting it is impossible for your ex boyfriend not to respond. Since things went positively you can contact them again in a few days and talk for a little bit longer.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. First things first, this is not the part where you are going to try to get your ex boyfriend back. Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were. When you write your text message to him you are going to have to go into details instead of just writing something general. Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. Choice 2: “Do you remember the night where I loaned you my jacket at the football game? Sometimes asking your ex a question can work well to get them to remember a good experience. More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively.
Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet.
If you haven’t heard anything from them yet and it has been past a couple of days then this could mean a couple of things.
Whatever the case is just simply take things down a notch and start a few more harmless text messages where you just make first contact. You have to be really careful because if this is done wrong then your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back drop drastically.
Well, now you are going to implement a number of small heart to heart chats in various different ways that are going to change your fortune in a positive way.
One of the little things I always love about relationships that are going well is how you are constantly helping each other remember things.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in.
Your best bet here is to take out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that you have ever appreciated about your ex so you have an inventory to dive in.
Plan your phone call when you know that your ex boyfriend will have a moment to talk privately.
I researched a lot on this section and discovered there are two types of very different methods to making this important phone call. This one is risky and may not get you a yes to a meet up but it allows you the ability to try again later whereas the method below this one pretty much lays your cards on the table.
Instead the smarter play is one where you take an existing texting conversation and leverage it to turn it into a phone call. With a transition story you are going to be keeping things relevant and transitioning from a text to a phone call is going to seem completely natural. That is the part that is supposed to catch your ex boyfriends interest enough to want to talk on the phone with you.
For example, if my wife spent $1,000 on something and then the next day broke it if she were to tell me right there and then that she broke it I guarantee you I would not have a good reaction.
You can just binge watch an entire season in a day and then you have to wait another year for that to happen.
I mean, if you really think about it no man has ever asked a girl out who he thought was uninteresting.
Very important to keep it short and think of interesting things to talk about before you get on. Conversely, we haven’t talked in a month, so would it be weird to just call out if the blue? I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I have a bunch of exciting news to tell you about! I broke up with my boyfriend after an evening that I had dinner with friends and he couldn’t come because he was too busy with a business dinner.
From a distance it seemed like he gave a girl a kiss on her mouth a big hug and he started to dance with her. Since you are reading this page I am going to assume that you have an interest in learning how to talk to your ex boyfriend the right way.
While I do briefly touch on interacting in person and through other forms like calling I have never really gone into the detail that the visitors coming to my site really need. With this comprehensive guide I plan on teaching you what I consider to be the right way to talk to an ex boyfriend. I foresaw this problem a few months ago which is why I created Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my own personal E-Book that pretty much covers every question I could think of when it came to getting an ex boyfriend back.
When you see me do this just realize that I am doing it because the particular subject that I am talking about in this guide is covered in even more in-depth in the E-Book. They will lay the foundation for every single conversation you will have with your ex until you accomplish your goal. I mean, it sounds like I have turned into a Buddhist priest with all this talk of zen and peace.
A lot of the women that I deal with on a daily basis are emotional wrecks (this tends to happen when you run a site about ex boyfriends.) So, I expected this fact to come with the territory.
If you are at a zen state it will be impossible for your ex boyfriend to say something that will hurt you. This is something I have noticed from both men and women who I come into contact with in my own personal life. While I am not helping them in person I can tell just from the way they talk to me in emails and comments that they are wanting to talk to their exes far too soon.
While I am the first to admit that I have already written about this before I feel it is important to go over the forms of communication again. There are certain people that I consider friends that I will sometimes duck out of a texting conversation with. You see, I have used myself as the ultimate guinea pig to see what works and what doesn’t work. Every text you send has to be carefully thought out and has to inspire the other person to want to text you back. Recently I began to notice something really interesting happen with one particular person I was texting. This is indicative that the second person is putting more effort into the conversation than the first one. You may read this website and think I have amazing insight and while I think I do have some valuable knowledge if I were to talk to you in person one on one I couldn’t remember half the things I talk about here. The other person is expecting a response to their response and things can get out of your control very quickly. Once again, the risk here is that you don’t have time to think through your responses and me giving you scripted responses will not work. I remember standing in front of the THG (her name was Brooke by the way.) I remember delivering these weird robotic lines to her. They were from some pickup artist community and they weren’t in line with the type of person I was. If she were to call me up on the phone right now I would pick it up and be happy to pick it up. For example, someone trying to get over an ex boyfriend will have a different approach as compared to someone trying to get him back. On a big picture level the climax development that needs to happen is just the general development to getting your ex back.
If you haven’t already read my post about getting over an ex boyfriend I suggest you stop everything you are doing and read it! However, I really get annoyed when they tell me point blank that they want to move on and then a week later they want their exes back again.
While I will admit that confidence is never a bad thing to have it becomes a problem when that confidence turns into entitlement. The phenomenon I described above (where someone will jump around on whether they want their ex back or want to move on from them) is a prime example of someone letting the situation control them. Eventually though it is inevitable that your paths will cross and how you talk to him will either validate your decision or send you into limbo land. Remember, this is the guy that has so much power over you that you come back to this site reading up on how to approach him. I have actually found this particular part of the guide the most interesting to dissect because there is a lot going on here. Yes, I got into an argument with my brother but I also had an epiphany about the situation.
Obviously, this won’t work 100% of the time because sometimes no matter what you do the other person is going to get angry but I would say this can work a good 70% of the time.
He said hes not even sure if hes makn right decision, but we cant be together everyday and cant relocate, either one of us right now, and its hard to not be together like we should, so when we first met we were inseparable and together everyday for the first year an half of our relationship, and lived together, we both have 3 children, and we all got along great!
He knows what he means to me an he knows that i dont want this, i feel like im going to loose him forever and i dont know how to just stop my feelings after 3 yrs together, i wish i knew how i could have a heart to heart conversation about this, with him. I always felt true love will work itself out an find a way, but to me id do anything for this, and him, and id wait forever for him if i had to, what we had was completely everything to me, and he knows it, how can i fix this? I’m letting him come over this weekend to get his shit that he was sposed to get back in march. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of. This page, while amazingly detailed, won’t have every single step that you will need to successfully get him back. I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned. The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration. They love the newness of a relationship, want respect and like to see significant interest coming from females. I feel for you but don’t worry we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship.
Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did.
Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship. However, one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is that there are certain women (not you) that don’t have legitimate reasons for wanting to get back together with their boyfriends. The fact of the matter is that you can be perfectly fine without this person if you are citing any of these. Remember how you are going to implement the no contact rule for a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman! I know it may be uncomfortable to talk about but in this case you need to suck it up and get the proper treatment if you don’t want them. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup.
Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Ok, basically if there was anything fun that you used to do (tennis, golf, puzzles, collecting, hiking, photography, music) renew it.
Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun.
Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun?
I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you. The last thing you want to be is perceived as creepy or stalkerish and writing a letter the wrong way can definitely hurt you. Well, it just so happens I have come up with the ultimate game plan for getting your ex back.
Controlling the conversation is key that means that you should always be the one who brings the conversation to a close, YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL.
Typically you want your ex to only think about the most positive experiences during your relationship. Don’t expect him to be receptive of your messages right off the bat, it may take a while. DO NOT SPAM YOUR EX WITH TEXTS… if he doesn’t respond to your first one just wait a couple of days and try again. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back.
I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together.
Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast.
They are either extremely excited by the prospect of moving forward with things and they can sense that you are trying to move things along but this also makes them extremely nervous. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past.
I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date. This tactic is no different and can definitely earn you some huge brownie points if you remind him about something he forgot. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED.


Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. Well, using the above knowledge (the 5 things I just told you about myself) what would you talk about on the phone with me? He had ended things with me a few months prior and we were still in touch and I was down so I called him to speak to him, we ended up talking about our past relationship and I kinda told him I still had feelings for him and wanted him back.
The breakup was one-sided and I was definitely desperate afterwards and made a lot of mistakes before finding your website ?? I felt like his reasons for the breakup didn’t make any sense and was really obvious and up-front about wanting him back.
I kept it short, he seemed really happy and excited to hear from me, and it seemed like old times. Try to take the focus off of you for a first contact text and put it on something else that he is interested in. It might not have been the strongest, but I still wanted to sound like “me,” you know? The first thing he wrote is that I’m out of my mind and he never wanted to see me again either. While I ultimately can’t lend you my brain to help in whatever your goals are with your ex I can use it to give you my perspective on the right way to approach any talking, texting or emailing situation regarding your ex boyfriend.
Alright, so the first thing you need to understand is that there are actually many different mediums for talking to an ex boyfriend.
I will talk more about goals in a second but first lets look at the basic rules of talking to your ex. However, I promise you that the rules above are very relevant to any situation I can think of. You have been in so many women to women conversations that you are naturally used to dealing with emotions. Still though, I am a guy and while I may be a little more understanding than the average one I can get a little taken aback when someone is too emotional. Well, in my book you will learn that it’s not just women who are attracted to confidence.
You may think that confidence is something that someone is born with but I am here to tell you that it is not. In fact, I remember a few months ago I literally spent 6 hours straight watching funny interviews with celebrities on YouTube.
It is a digital way of talking to someone one on one and if you master the texting form I am about to show you, you can accomplish some great things. I have noticed something very interesting about the way that I text each specific group and the way each specific group texts me.
You worry if a response is too short or you go ballistic if you don’t get a response.
I have studied the tactics that women have employed to try to date me and have gone to town on what they did that worked and what didn’t work.
Some women are better at playing the game than others while some women will flat out refuse to play. What this can tell us is that the second person may be more engaged in the conversation than the first. Once again, this is indicative of the fact that person two is putting in more effort into the conversation than person one.
Alright, before I really dive in I want you to be aware that there is a slight problem with calling someone else. It literally takes me days to finish a guide like this because I am thinking very carefully through every little thing that goes on this page. Well, it’s because this one person has the power to make you go crazy with a single word.
If your ex punched a puppy in front of you and you react then you aren’t ready to talk to him on the phone. Now, since we are talking about calling a person on the telephone it adds an interesting element into this discussion.
The truth of the matter is that calling on the phone and having a conversation can be addicting.
In fact, in high school I didn’t really talk to many people thus I missed out on a lot of social experiences.
Both of us were in the same class together and I remember all the guys gathering and talking about her. On being a nice guy that could get anyone to open up and here I was walking away from this beautiful girl that I had creeped out so much that she ducked into the bathroom just to get away from me. I don’t want to go into too much detail specifically because I am going to give you an overview of what to do in your situation later on. That is what this guide is going to attempt to do, show you how to approach talking with your ex in different situations.
I have been writing for this site for about a year and I am still finding things to talk about. Well, whether you like it or not emotions play a HUGE role in getting your ex boyfriend back, just not the way you think. Then, after things don’t go their way (within the next week) they want to move on from him again.
When it comes to relationships people often say there is no black or white there is only the grey in between. I wasn’t angry about the disagreement we were having I was upset with the way that he talked to me. If he had just come and talk to me very calmly and normally there would have been no argument or fight.
So, if you know you and your ex need to talk about something serious or something that you feel could potentially upset him you need to prepare yourself before you go into the lions den.
By the time we got into the one an half year mark, he got a chance to go back to florida for a great job, an thats where he grew up, and lived before meeting me. I may have an opportunity to move there sooner, its always been my dream and i basically grew up in florida myself, like him.
And how can i make this easier for kids, they love and miss him too, and its heartbreaking, and i dont know what or how he is doing with telling his children, but i know that they ask about me constantly! The keyword there being SIGNIFICANTLY and before you get all argumentative I have seen the tactics outlined on this page work time and time again.
It is such a complicated process that even the 10,000 words on this page can’t cover everything you need to know.
Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you.
Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex gave you for the break up is really why they broke up with you. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you. The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason.
Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. I would say think very carefully if this person is worth getting in a relationship with again. Make sure that you are very serious about wanting to get back with this person before you keep reading. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!
Honestly, I am getting excited here because this is where you start taking the first steps of getting your ex boyfriend back. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period.
I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous.
However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you.
This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend.
Don’t worry though because I am going to go through every single step in a very-in depth manner.
Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions.
If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging.
For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold.
Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Some of you may not agree with this but everywhere I researched said that using your ex boyfriends jealousy to your advantage is one of the most powerful things you can do.
I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile.
Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way.
The obvious advantage to this is that he has time to clear his schedule and make time for you ;). Thus, his responses are short in length (like 1-3 words) or he doesn’t respond at all and ends up just calling anyways. I walked up to him and told him I never wanted to see him again and even slapped him in the face. Here is the deal though, what if I told you that I had created something, a resource that answered almost all of your questions? If you are too emotional when you talk to your ex boyfriend you are not going to achieve your goals. Achieving this type of a state before you talk to your ex boyfriend will prevent you from coming off as too overemotional. In fact, if you give me the nerdiest looking girl I am CONFIDENT that I could turn her into someone that men would chase.
However, whether you like it or not texting is nothing more than a game and like any game you can risk losing if you make a mistake.
Too often have I seen women make the mistake of getting upset over something stupid which in turn ends up causing a fight that sets their efforts way back. I know that sounds extreme (poor puppy ?? ) but the truth is that overreaction leads to anger which will lead to fights.
However, if you are going to talk to your ex throwing caution to the wind and giving them the time they want when they want it will not cause them to come back and want more. Well, I didn’t want to dive too far into that particular pool because I wanted to talk about it in this section. None of us knew her name so we dubbed her THG (The Hot Girl.) I just remember every single day after class we would all talk about what the THG did that day. Instead, my mind kicked in because I really wanted to crush this, since my manhood had be challenged, so I started doing some research. The truth was that I didn’t know how to react to HER responses to the scripted lines. Nevertheless, there are certain guidelines to follow if you want to give you the maximum chance to succeed no matter what your talking goal is. It is the women that I have to chase that I find more attractive as compared to the over talkative ones. While I will be the first to admit that there are probably hundreds of different situations I had to prioritize and pick the most common situations. In this section I am going to give you an overview of how you need to talk to your ex boyfriend if you want to move on from him. This is without a doubt one of the truest statements BUT only when it comes to relationships.
The tone in his voice, his annoyance and disgust with me showed through and I really didn’t like being talked to that way. It isn’t necessarily a fast process but there is proof out there to back up the claims being made.
I have been running this site for quite some time and get an incredible amount of emails and comments every single day.
This may sound a bit mean but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable. Personally, cheating to me is a big no no and I don’t think I could forgive that so easily. Careful though, don’t let them talk you into calling him before the no contact period is up. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative. This just means you misread the situation and you moved a little to fast to start bringing up your relationship. The obvious disadvantage is that you are laying a lot of your cards on the table and rejection will certainly hurt your feelings.
I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. The key is to just do something that the two of you will both enjoy where you can have fun and talk. I am just kind of depressed that we are going to have to wait an entire year for the next season to start. However, I have never had a male friend cry in front of me before either so it isn’t just me. Now, while I admit that this may not matter to everyone it is definitely something that I notice when talking to another person.
In my research I came across some clever scripted responses that I memorized and practiced for hours.
When you are meeting to have a conversation with someone in person a new aspect is introduced, how the person looks.
It was hard but we did it, and we had both shared so much emotionally, i helped him thru alot and he did same for me, we were soo close, and had so many amazing memories, when we got together he was really hurt by an ex an scarred, i helped him become more like his old self, and we just were soo much to eachother on soo many levels, my goal is to move, and not loose him, and get him back, when he broke up w me i flew there to be with him for 2 days, and everything was good we talked alot and i tryd to be okay with it, but im not, he talked to me the first few days after breakup i was a mess, and then he now doesnt want to talk that much about emotional stuff, he still text me an tells me things, our lives were soo much together, so its hard to not talk as much, i want him to feel like we can still be together but i dont know how? But my ex told me that when we broke up, he didnt want to give me false hope, but doesnt know what will happen if we have another chance in future, he said he was being perfectly honest an didnt want to give me false hope, but i feel so lost and want to fix things with him badly!
Each person wants me to give them a detailed step by step plan that they can follow to get their ex back. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. A lot of times women make the mistake of picking up right where they left off whenever they do get their ex back. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. So, from this point on I am just going to be focusing on that method and the best practices using it. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him.
Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys?
More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. Again, maybe not the strongest first contact, but it might have piqued his interest a bit since I had ceased to be productive in my craft lately. And since he’s not a text-er anyways, and my so-called lack of calling him was apparently a source of contention with him, when should I just call him in this case?
You become invested in them and then by the time episode 9 rolls around you know that some crazy sh*t is about to go down.
The fact of the matter is that it is such a complex process that I really can’t give you everything you need in a post, email, comment or Facebook chat. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.
And actually, I’m trying to build up to something major because there has been a couple of life-changing events that happened that do involve my works.
I don’t necessarily wanna keep texting him, but I also have no idea what his state of mind is right now. And im jus lost and he said he wants to be there for me thru everything an anything, i did send him letter telln him i accept breakup, and didnt say anything emotional or clingy, he replied and said it was soo nice and that il always have him an he knows il b there for him still. We were soo much to one another and i dont understand how someone can turn off feelings so fast? The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now.
Adding to that, our mutual pal drove out to my place and get stuck on the highway 10 min from his house. She was pregnant and had her 2 year old or she wouldve just walked into town and when she called him? He said he wouldnt help her he was mad at her-for reasons he didnt say and this was the only inclination she got about it-what kind of “man” does that?!
I agreed to let him come over, I didnt ask why he wanted more time cause I dont really think Im interested in the answer and I didnt promise him more time. I don’t want to know how to talk to my ex to be friends or get back together, I want to know how to talk to him so that my words dont smolder him. You can earn forgiveness when you burn me, but he crossed our girl buddy and her innocent child.



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