My husband does have a history of looking at porn on the internet, but claims to not do this anymore.
I am so, so sorry if you’re walking through this, and I want to give a few general thoughts about it. When a spouse is doing something wrong, one of the marks of it is that they will deflect the blame.
I’ve seen women who were certain their husbands were having affairs for years, but at the same time they felt that maybe they were just too jealous or were reading too much into things. So let me say this loudly and clearly: If your husband is texting another woman, or sexting another woman, he is the one doing wrong, not you. For most of us, divorce or separation is the scariest thing we can imagine, next to losing our children.
Now is the time to go running to God, and to find a close friend or counselor to help you do that, so that you have His inner strength and peace to deal with this.
Our letter writer is wondering if she should confront her husband with the texts to another woman she saw on Facebook.
Many men (and many women) are living in this fairytale that they can have their cake and eat it, too. Also, sometimes it’s better to confront him in the presence of a third party who can help you navigate that conversation. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. When people start to be honest with each other, and honest with themselves, then God can work. Whether you caught your husband using porn, or caught him in an affair, or caught him texting someone else, the first step always is to run to God and put your trust ultimately in Him. Join over 23,000 people who receive my monthly marriage newsletter--and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 36 Tips to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage. I caught my husband asking for nasty pix from one his acquaintance and few months later i caught him reaching out to his ex -girl friend who cheated her husband wz my mine (that was before we met) my point here is -if your husband has short temper then the matter would be really ill. Joymie I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, it really is heart breaking to go through.


I personally have had enough, he has no honor or respect for me, and how much self respect would I have in myself, if I continue to put up with that bad behavior For so long he was up front and center in my life, I made him my world and he didn’t make me his. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
If another woman steals your man, there’s no better revenge than letting her keep him. These would apply whether you catch your husband texting another woman, catch him using porn, or even catch him in an affair. Here she’s wondering if she should tell him, because if she does he turns it around and often blames her, and this sends her into a tailspin. If it’s something big, talk to a pastor or counselor first, and ask them to be present while you talk to your husband. If you are anything like me, you can’t eat, sleep or focus on anything but him and the pain right now, I know because I am again going through the exact same thing, I say again because my husband has done this a number of times over the past nine years, and every time he does it, I forgive him and we start again.
My husband is sending Facebook messages back and forth, and also calling this woman who is so called his cousin. I know many of you have caught your husband on Facebook with another woman, or texting another woman, and your whole world is thrown up in the air.
But no matter what you did, there is NEVER an excuse to start a relationship with someone who is not your spouse, and you need to let go of that guilt.
He must be made to choose, which means that you need to be willing to accept the fact that he may not choose you.
At an early age of thirty, I found out that the love of my life for more than 10 years cheated on me and it was not easy reading over their disgusting chats. But I am trying not to keep looking and searching to see if their still talking to each other. So he could sit and think about what’s more important, talking to her or his wife and children. He says they were just friends and she helped him understand a women’s point of view. You will be so scared of losing your marriage that it will be hard for you to confront, to draw boundaries, and to do what is necessary to give yourself a chance at saving your marriage.


Sometimes sitting down with a third party and confronting him is better than confronting him on your own.
I confronted him, and told him to stop talking to her and I believe he is still communicating with her. I have prayed and prayed, and cried, I’m waiting on the Heavenly Father to fix this situation. Then, instead of debating whether he actually did it, you can move on to dealing with the consequences of it.
If you decide to live in the Truth, too, His resources and His power are there for you in a very powerful way. But do confront, do bring to light, and do know that no matter what happens, God is there for you and He can carry you. The problem is: I don't want my husband involved, as he'd act like a 14-year-old boy about it. I confronted him and I know he said both lies and truth, and yes, I began the 007 job because I believe the truth will set us free. I trust in Him, but my spirit is in rage and I’m hurt because I never had any problem before with my husband and other women.
I went to talk to my pastor’s wife and she counseled me and told me-you have now done your part- now stop sneaking around and doing the 007 work and hand your husband over to God, when we as wives keep doing what our minds tells us to do out of emotion God cannot work in our husbands. I just want to know the truth because he keeps on lying to me even when I let him face the altar in front of God, he still lied to me. I am having a very hard time with this, as I feel every time he brings up sex or talks to me about something personal, that he is lying to my face. But I could not leave him, I have loved him for more than a decade and I have given up everything for him, what am I suppose to do without my husband?



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