One of the first things you are likely to notice about South Africa is its demographic diversity.
Even though South African women have made their mark in fields as diverse as politics, academics and the entertainment industry, it has not been merely on the basis of their looks. Apart from political and economic struggles, women here also had to cope with the onslaught of AIDS, lack of equal educational and professional opportunities as well as simmering tribal and ethnic troubles. Quite disappointingly, only 150 out of the 244 women approached did respond to the initial questions. Of the 25 women who agreed to be intensively interviewed, 15 were single, 5 were in serious relationships, and 5 were married. Important Statistics 92(approximately 61%) out of the 150 respondents described themselves as single or unattached; 31 (representing 21%)were in serious relationships, and only 27 (forming 18%) were married. Those in the Prime Years group (21-25, 22%), Vital Years group (26-30, 27%), Borderline group (31-35, 32%), and the Danger Zone group (36-40, 19%).
Perceived shortage of decent men in the West: Almost all the women interviewed shared the opinion that it is quite uncommon to come across single men with good character these days. Spending Prime years pursuing educational and Career goals: It might sound quite harsh, but one revelation made is that the best moment for most women to get suitable partners or husbands is when they are in their Prime.
Misconception about educated African women: The difficulty in finding husbands is clearly being experienced by highly educated women as well. Poor choices (Ignoring or paying less attention to the right men): Some African women seem to focus on those men who would not give them the chance or the treatment they want and deserve.
Other past mistakes: Other mistakes made in the past by some women such as, waywardness, going out with married men, being impregnated by some reckless man who does not even accept responsibility, and single-motherhood, contribute to their difficulty in getting husbands. It has been established that the single women who are now seriously hunting for partners or husbands are mainly those who fall within the second and third groups (Vital Years and Borderline respectively), as well as those with children (irrespective of age). Pressure from family: In almost all if not all African societies, the institution of marriage is viewed as something that brings respect and honor not only to the couple but also their families (both nuclear and extended). Fulfilling a New Year Resolution: Before the commencement of a New Year, people make what is generally referred to as New Year Resolution.
Peers getting married: Some unattached African women abroad are so worried and disturbed about their inability to lay hands on someone they can call husband that, they wish they had never come to the western world. Conclusion: It is believed that single African women who fall within the Borderline and Danger Zone groups, and those with children are much more likely to be taken advantage of and sexually abused or exploited by selfish and lustful men as they are easily wooed and convinced because of their situation.
It is quite obvious that very soon more and more unattached African women in the West particularly those in England will be making their way to their various home countries to look for partners and husbands. Am Enerst nigrian, based in cotonou, 30yrs, am hardworkin, reasonable, nd always givs positive results, am not hndsom, but good lukin, pls any carin nd luvin lady dat needs hapy, i wil 4eva be dia 4 her, dat my word. A former Minister of State for Defence, Musiliu Obanikoro, has graduated from Oglethorpe University in Atlanta, United States of America.
Women in this country are extremely hard working and do not shy away from putting in their best efforts to succeed.


However all the difficulties have only made South African women more resilient and convinced of the fact that they have to be educated, hard-working and financially independent to be really free. The safest way to striking up an acquaintance with a woman here would be invite her to tell you about herself, her work, her interests and later maybe her family and background. 25 out of the 150 initial respondents, then willingly and confidently provided profound information on single African women abroad. They were from Ghana, Nigeria, Cameroon, Sierra Leone, Kenya, Uganda, Zambia, Tanzania, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and South Africa.
Note, that because of the small sample size, the fallacy of generalization may be committed if these statistics or findings are viewed as a perfect representation of the real situation in England or the West.
Many African men also prefer women who have legal status that they can benefit from; hence, they tend to get married to westerners rather than Black African immigrants.
It has in fact become an abomination in many African countries for people from certain “rival” tribes to get married.
Hence, the need for them to capitalize on their young age, looks, and fertility to get the kind of man that they want. Attempts by female members of these faiths to marry men of other denominations are usually frustrated by their church leaders. Consequently, they ignore those who are genuinely in love with them but are not very financially sound or do not have strong legal status. The panic is made even worse by the traditional African notion that it is the responsibility of the man to handle all marriage and household expenses, even when it is clear that the woman’s job or income is much better than the man’s. They spend their Prime years knowingly hanging out with thuggish types of guys or men with no substance (aimless), probably because of the guys’ good looks or the size of their wallets, only to be thrown away like dross after their precious time had been wasted.
It may sound rude but the truth is that most men prefer women with no child to those with one or more. A number of reasons have been given for the alarming rate at which unattached African women abroad are desperately looking for partners. However, there are some women, who have almost everything they need in life in abundance, but do not feel that sense of fulfillment without marriage. In other words, they easily give in to false marriage promises or propositions of deceptive selfish and promiscuous men. However, the question is not whether or not the men in Africa are ready for the western-based ladies; it is rather whether or not the single ladies back home in Africa will watch the western-based ladies “scramble” for “their men” without a fight. But none of the above is a homogeneous entity; the black population for instance can be differentiated into ethnic group. This could be because South African women have had a long history of struggle behind them, ranging from the bearing the economic burden of the past and protesting the injustices of apartheid to fighting for gender equality now. Sadly, beautiful young women are missing the opportunity to get married to men they love, all in the name of tradition or tribal hatred. In the end, they are taken for a ride by the so-called wealthy dudes and men with legal documents, and thus return to what Nigerians call “square one” (where they were before – singleness).


A respondent honestly narrated how she mistreated and sacrificed an apparently more serious and purposeful man for a handsome but less committed guy only to be thrown overboard less than a year into their relationship. If marriage is so great, why do most marriages end in divorce within a couple of years if not months?’ Many single people think they do have a meaningful love relationship in their life, and that for them, is enough. By the time they recognize their errors and the need to settle down to start a family, age is either catching up with them or has already caught up with them.
26+, a woman is still unmarried, her family particularly parents, start pilling pressure on her to get a husband and to give them (the parents) grandchildren.
For them, a woman’s life without a husband or serious partner is nothing but an unfulfilled life.
Hunting for men is thus one way of making sure that their New Year resolution comes to pass. Even though the immense diversity of ethnic and cultural groups may make things a bit confusing, one great result is that South Africa is full of beauties to fulfill any kind of male fantasy. This is certainly not to discourage female education or scare women who aspire to reach the apogee of the academic ladder. It has been observed that most African women, no matter how financially sound they are, seem to prefer men with good jobs and good salary to those doing menial jobs or struggling to get jobs, even though the latter might demonstrate more traces of genuine love than the former.
When she realized her mistakes and decided to go back for the one she dejected and whose numerous marriage proposals she had initially turned down, he was no longer available (he was someone else’s darling). To avoid carrying their singleness into the Danger Zone, or avoid being less fertile and having difficulty in bringing forth children, they try all possible but not always advisable means to get husbands or serious partners. So, no matter which cultural background you are from and no matter what kind of beauties you are looking for, South African has enough variety to make your dreams come true.
Other religious denominations also do not allow their members, chiefly women to date a man before marriage for fear that they may be tempted to engage in pre-marital sex – which is viewed as a mortal sin by almost all Christian faiths and many other religions.
What has been pointed out is that ladies who achieve higher academic successes are often erroneously viewed by many men as domineering, women who have less respect for their husbands and are thus hard to get along with. Some of the African women who make their way to the West deliberately fail to get in touch with their boyfriends at home thinking that they would get someone with legal documents to marry. To understand and unlock these and other puzzling questions, Emmanuel Sarpong Owusu-Ansah, a lecturer and an investigative journalist in London, conducted a survey on 244 African women, married and unmarried, aged between 21 and 40 in England, UK. Many highly educated African women have also been accused of ignoring interested men whose educational qualifications are below theirs; hence their singleness.



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