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Luke Burbank stops by to talk about how awful we all were with the opposite sex growing up. The decade of the 1980s, written by a working critic who slogged through the weird, the cruddy, and even, occasionally, the some kind of wonderful. The Turkish model who was a tour guide for my friends and me while we vacationed in Turkey years back.
We would go long periods of time without communicating– one reason being that he was imprisoned awhile for punching a Japanese customs agent who questioned the origin of his gems.
It is my understanding that the US Government has banned this individual from obtaining a US Visa. The 30-something Adrian Brody look-a-like from Philly (another online acquaintance) who was so attached to his father that he slept in the same bed with him.
The lawyer from NYC (a local!) who actually seemed pretty normal until his mother called at the beginning of the date. Last and least of this batch of winners is the struggling Canadian acting extra with disastrous hair transplants.
He had a bit speaking part in a major movie where he manhandled an Academy Award-winning actress.


Ironically, he introduced me to the Law of Attraction long before it became a household term.
Awhile ago, out of boredom, I searched his pathetic imdb page which is basically an idle list of D-rated made-for-tv movies.
If I were to make an educated guess I would say that he’s not using the Law of Attraction to its full potential. I'm not sure I was always this lazy-- I did manage to score an Engineering degree and a Physics degree with some hard work.
He has more charm, wit, talent, and personality in his little finger than any of these guys combined. Rumor has it he punched his landlord in the face while I was there and broke the guy’s glasses. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if some of our correspondance was under FBI surveillance. He paraded me around it, showed me all the funky controls, and asked me if I had any questions. This guy, another online treasure, was nearly 40, had never dated anyone longer than a few months, had weird fetishes, and was incredibly condescending and negative. You have a lot to offer someone and we need to figure out why you’re in sabotage mode and give these guys the time of day.


He supposedly dealt in “gems and rugs” and had an obsession with becoming the next Ryan Gosling. I almost did an about-face the second I saw him because I didn’t like his vibe, but I tried to give him a chance (he was harmless, just an ass). But, with the exception of a once-a-year thrill-seeking adventure, I tend to be pretty lazy on my downtime. But knowing me, I probably wouldn’t be as appreciative of the Chairman as I am now had I not experienced what I did in my pre-Chairman days. But things have changed and my cold, hard, commitment-phobic heart is starting to melt a bit. To his credit he tried to get off the phone several times, apologized, and said that he wanted to see me again. Just writing a few minutes here and there about random happenings will be an improvement from my current lifestyle.



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