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Share Tweet Pin Stumble +1 ShareShares 24These lessons have completely changed the way I relate to my loved ones.
So often when people are unhappy with someone in their lives they complain about what’s wrong.
But as long as you focus on the thing you don’t like, you stay stuck, and nothing changes.
Instead, it helps to think about exactly what you do want, and then (are you ready for this?) to ask for it. For instance, instead of asking them to do more housework, you could ask them to vacuum the house on Saturdays, or to load the dishwasher after dinner.
Turn your complaint into a request by focusing on what you do want, not what you don‘t want.

Instead of asking your mom to stop giving the kids junk food, you could ask her to give them fruit when they’re hungry, or for snacks.
Instead of telling your boss you’re constantly overworked, ask them to help you identify your top priorities so you can focus on getting the most important things done. If you preface your request with a 12-point critique of the many and varied ways in which they regularly fail you, then you can expect this to go badly. Instead, smile, adopt a pleasant tone of voice, and explain calmly what you’d like them to do, and why. You may have a tough time changing the status quo unless you’re prepared to offer some incentive. Michele Connolly is into writing, books, simplicity, love, TV, productivity, and staying thin in a world of chocolate. LOL Katie I feel the same when I finally GET something that’s so obvious to everyone around me!!
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You have to be very specific and what you ask for needs not to be a huge job, just something that could easily be completed. If someone is kind enough to do it for you, the you have to let go of controlling the way it’s done. In the case of my dh, it’s important to both of us that I let him know I appreciate his help. Seek some serious Relationship Advice for Men from us - we're really set up to deal with real life and real Relationship Advice for Men experiences.

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