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While I am not taking your side, I have to say that it is fairly common for some men and women going through a divorce to let guilt rule the way they parent. As I said, they do this because they feel immense guilt that the kids parents failed to provide the kids with a normal family life, so they are compensating. So, time goes by, and the kids get more spoiled and begin to get away with whatever they want. Jackie, I’m recently single and I’ve been in a relationship for so long that I forgot how to talk to women. This divorced dad needs some divorce advice: My ex mother in law let me have dinner with my kids while my ex-wife was working.
Also if she dumped you considering that you weren't sufficient for her, you might still desire her back.

Being in a relationship when you are older, divorced and when one or both of the you have kids is very very different than being in a relationship when you are young. It’s a mistake that many people make because they feel so badly about the divorce and they just want their kids to be happy. They might also be so exhausted from the emotional stress of the divorce or a new job and lifestyle, and are just too tired to discipline the kids.
The parent just accepts it because they either don’t know how to change the behavior, they don’t want to take the time to make changes, or that guilt just continues to rule the way they parent.
Tell her you have real concerns about her parenting style and that you can’t be in that house the way things are now. Regardless of how much you love and adore her, a second marriage can only work all the dynamics are aligned, and that includes your relationship with the kids.
It's kind of like hanging out with your platonic female divorced friend and hearing her perspective on your divorce and your love life issues.
They are out of control and her guilt over her divorce keeps her from setting clear boundaries for them.

There is a whole new set of issues that can arise, in this case, a different philosophy in parenting styles. Not the correct thing to do, they end up either spoiling their children or letting them get away with unacceptable behavior. Or, maybe they weren’t the parent who disciplined their kids, and now that the parent is absent in the household, they don’t really know how to do it. So, if you are having conflict now, it will get to be 100 times worse when you live together or get married. Secondly, you are somewhat powerless to change the way your girlfriend chooses to parent her kids. But the conflict you are having is only going to get worse unless both of you are willing to make some changes.

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