Five tips on how to travel over a rough patch on the long and winding road that is your blessed union.
If you’re currently going through a down cycle, and the very sight of your partner in the morning (cowlick!) — not to mention the sound of him eating his toast (lip-smacking!) — is driving you around the bend, console yourself with the knowledge that this too shall pass. That doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have to step on the gas to speed the process, however. Here are five tips on how to travel over a rough patch on the long and winding road that is your blessed union. You’re sharper, angrier, more impatient, snappier and more withdrawn with your partner — these are all signs that you’ve hit a low point in your relationship, says Dr. Other signs include indulging in what Goertz calls “soothing behaviours” such as shopping, gambling, flirting, joining online chat rooms or use of porn, drinking, staying out late, working longer hours and the like. In short, if you’re thinking, “I’m taking care of me, you’re on your own,” says Goertz, you’ve lost sight of the fact that you’re in a relationship and you’re putting “me” above “we”. Cut that kind of thinking off, says Goertz, and stop the associated behaviours that fuel it. These kinds of attitudes “will go a long way to generating the necessary trust that a solid relationship requires.
An example of everyday kindness and availability: offer to give your stressed-out partner a back rub. Ask your partner how they’re doing, if they need anything, or surprise them and do something for them without being asked. Of course your partner can be a thoughtless rube, but rather than focus on their shortcomings ask yourself how you may feed a cycle of hurt feelings and emotional reactions.


And think about the kind of person you want to be — not the kind of person your partner should be. Individually we’re flawed, but together we may just make up one not-so-bad human being, so see the journey through together — even when you hit a bump in the road.
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Another telltale trait of a "very best"? relationship is that you can't bear to be apart for a second longer than necessary. It's easy to lower your standards when you believe the only alternative is a lifetime of loneliness. You know you're in danger of settling the moment you make a "to-do"? list of things you'd like to help your partner improve upon: lose weight, stop smoking, be more outgoing, find a better job, and so forth. Listen carefully to what you tell friends and family members about the person you're dating. We recommend upgrading your browser, checking your Compatibility Settings or switching to another browser for an optimal experience.
During a rough patch, one or all of these things may feel in doubt and the effect can be corrosive to intimacy because we then withdraw from our partner, or are partner withdraws from us.


To make dinner or wash the duvet and make the bed for your beloved after a hard day at work, or taking care of the kids? The point of the exercise in self-reflection is to not lose sight of your responsibility for internal conflict, which as Goertz points out, represents an even split in a relationship. If you are constantly suspicious of your own partner’s actions then you are merely ruining your relationship. There is no such thing as a romantic "last chance."? Resist the temptation to let some perceived ticking clock"”biological or otherwise"”convince you to compromise.
If you've told yourself a problematic relationship is "as good as it gets,"? snap out of it! Please check your email, click the link to verify your address, and then submit your comment.
No doubt about it: If you already feel ho-hum about time spent with your current partner, you're settling. If you can't find this email, access your profile editor to re-send the confirmation email. So whether you’ve hit a rough patch or are about to get married, here are 10 quotes that put relationships in perspective.



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