This week's question comes from a guy who keeps breaking up and getting back together with the same girl. The word "infidelity," Perel says in the TED talk "Why Happy Couples Cheat," can mean many different things. The relationship expert adds that when a spouse cheats on his or her significant other, it's more about the person who cheats than the other person.
Every time we get together, things are fantastic for a month or two, and then Candace shuts down emotionally and becomes very closed up.
Our conversations then tend to become very shallow and don’t go much beyond what happened at work that day, and then they disappear altogether.


At that point, I was beyond frustrated and tired of pretending that we had a real relationship.
However, there has always been some sort of deep emotional connection between Candace and me that always brings us back together.
It just seems like she gets afraid when things are good, so she shuts down and things end up going bad.
I waited three weeks to contact Candace, apologized for my stupidity and tried to get her to talk to me.
The truth of the matter is that this girl does a perfect imitation of a clam because she just gets tired of faking high Interest Level.


Because it takes two people to have a conversation and you have her mixed up with somebody who wants to communicate.



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