You say you’ve more important things to do and worry about now, such as paying the bills, your job and taking care of the children but are these really ways to improve a relationship if it is in trouble?
This entry was posted in HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP, Marriage Advice and tagged 5 things that won't fix your relationship, Can You Repair a Relationship, help with relationship, How to Repair My Relationship, Ways to Mend a Relationship on June 3, 2014 by jonallo. After everything that has happened, you can both solve your relationship problems if you still love each other. Love brought you together in the first place and it can do it again.
This entry was posted in HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP and tagged 5 things that won't fix your relationship, Fix Your Relationship Problems, help with relationship, How to Repair My Relationship on April 22, 2014 by jonallo. We are all so busy with everything going on in our lives that you can often feel that you and you partner are drifting apart and that you need to fix your relationship to get it back on track. But many issues are not worth fighting over and will not repair a relationship if you keep clashing about these things on a regular basis.
This entry was posted in HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP, Marriage Advice and tagged 5 things that won't fix your relationship, Can You Repair a Relationship, Fix Your Relationship Problems, help with relationship, How to Fix My Marriage, how to fix your relationship, solve relationship problems on March 25, 2014 by jonallo. Unfortunately life can be challenging at times, even with the one you love, and when problems occur with your partner you have to know how to fix your relationship problems. Love is a wonderful feeling shared by two people. However these romantic feelings bring some ups and downs that, if not carefully handled, can lead to a break up. In this article we will look at 3 ways how to fix your relationship so that you can both continue to have a happy life together.
This entry was posted in HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP, Marriage Advice and tagged Can You Repair a Relationship, Fix Your Relationship Problems, help with relationship, How to Fix My Marriage, how to fix your relationship, solve relationship problems on March 18, 2014 by jonallo.
Good communication is one of the cornerstones of a strong relationship and you can solve relationship problems often just by talking to your partner. Not everyone is good at communicating. But if you know how to discuss relationship problems with your partner, it can help transform a shaky relationship into a functioning, healthy relationship. To solve relationship problems with communication you don’t have to be a trained diplomat or professional speaker.
This entry was posted in HELP WITH RELATIONSHIP, Marriage Advice and tagged Can You Repair a Relationship, Fix Your Relationship Problems, help with relationship, How to Fix My Marriage, solve relationship problems on March 11, 2014 by jonallo. We have to make sure that you don't turn a conversation into an interrogation.First of all you need to trust that as human beings we are 'soft wired' to feel what another person is feeling. There are even more things you can do to address the problems and get the relationship answers you're looking for:Carry on proving that you're following what your partner's saying. Positive intent and focussed attention will help your partner or spouse to feel valued and respected, which builds trust.Trust helps him or her to open up and reveal deeper feelings and concerns.Still baffled?
A glimpse into some of the relationship self help books that we recommend and have in our own library of reference material. As you can see, some relationship self help books are so powerful that they can even save your marriage! Subscribe To Our NewsletterJoin our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team. Get help unlike any other from Mark Tyrrell, therapist and co-founder of Uncommon Knowledge. Before you and your partner got together, if you had to choose between a romantic relationship and one that was dull and boring, which one would you choose?  One of the reasons you chose your partner was that he or she was romantic, full of life and passion.  A passionate romantic relationship was fun when you were single, so why couldn’t it still be today even though you’re a little older and perhaps even married? Sure, those things are very important but, to save your relationship from dying of boredom, you need to make time, quality time, for each other.
If you happen to be one of these people, you may find it harder to start and maintain a stable relationship.
He or she may not trust or feel safe with you, but that's not the focus of this article either. Watching, observing, listening and checking out will all contribute to you getting the best out of your partner, spouse or indeed anyone you meet.However, if your relationship is in real trouble you need further help, do also have a look at my review of the Save The Marriage Blueprint, developed by Lee Baucom, PhD.


We picked these because we’ve found them to have the most practical impact with our clients.
Completely shift the way you look at your relationship as you gain a deeper perspective for why you are experiencing conflict and what you can do about it. The sequel to Getting the Love you Want, it explains what may be blocking you from actually getting the love that you want in your relationship. A fun read that distills some of the most profound principles of Imago Therapy for the layman. This book will provide you with simple, implementable steps to renew your love for your spouse.
It’s a small investment of less than $15 and can have amazing results that are well worth every penny. I swear the month before she'd carried, for a while, the puffed signs of a swollen jaw; not long before that she'd been wearing dark glasses on an overcast morning.
The bad news is that I'm totally swamped with email and comments, and so I have had to take the hard decision not to answer comments here any more.However, the community here is really helpful and you may well get better advice than I could give you from someone else, so do make a comment if you feel you need help.
Many long term relationships and marriages have suffered, even to the point of separation, when it’s only filled with labour and not love. I suspect your partner or spouse has long switched off from hearing them!Part 1 and 2 will help you ask better questions and here I'm going to give you some more advanced communication skills.
If you're worried that might be a problem with your relationship, do check out the other articles listed at the end of this page.There are lots of other pages on this site to help you with all of your relationship problems, so do have a look around.
A couple counsellor or marriage counsellor will listen to you and help you to feel and communicate better.This kind of relationship help can really improve your self-awareness, including how you relate to your mate. This book is the basis of Imago Therapy and has transformed the lives of millions of couples worldwide. Explore the issue of self-hatred and understand why despite your partner’s best efforts, you may not be taking in the love they give you.
This includes some of the new developments in the authors’ work including the Zero Negativity Challenge. If you want a response from me, then you can contact me here at Ask Mark on my main site Hypnosis Downloads. Hypnosis is great for this sort of thing because it's a natural and powerful way of positively changing the way you think and feel. But do leave space for silences: your partner may be collecting their thoughtsRemember that your partner (and you of course) will always be trying to meet his or her essential emotional needs (see links further down), consciously or unconsciously. Marriage counselling can be really useful even if your partner has no intention of going.Failing that - the Save The Marriage system has great tools to help you get the relationship answers you seek.
Learn how your childhood plays a role in finding a mate and predicting the conflict that you will experience. This book will help you understand some of the key gender differences that might be getting in the way of your connection.
Even if you feel like you are showing love, it doesn’t mean that you are speaking to your spouse in the way they need to hear your love.
These simple steps have helped many couples get a reality check about their relationship and take the steps necessary to revitalize it. By focusing on creating more positive energy in your relationship, you’ll sidestep a lot of the negativity that keeps us stuck and unable to get out of our misery.
Meeting these needs is at the bottom of all our behaviourWhen your partner has finally got it all out, summarise your understanding of what's going on for him or her, including any feelings you have picked upThen it is your turn!
Men love this book and the women who have implemented the authors’ suggestions in the book have seen their marriage do a 180.
Learn the 5 different love languages and how to show love to your spouse in a way that will actually make them feel loved.


Particularly if you feel yourself reacting strongly, you'll need to check out that you've got it right.
Learn how some of the conflict that you think may be unique to your relationship is quite common among men and women, helping to normalize your situation and providing you hope that your marriage can improve greatly. But I guessed that whoever she was going back to, again and again, was the centre of her Universe - and not in a good way.If you have become a punch bag in a travesty of a relationship, then I implore you to make your own health and safety your number one priority.
Of course, there are many types of abuse and emotional bullying, however subtle, can still make you feel under attack. Emotional outbursts are likely to either shut the conversation down or lead to an argument. Abusive relationships come in multiple guises: men to women, women to men, same gender abusing same gender. However, you can say something like:"I feel really hurt when you say that""I cannot accept such abusive comments - I have to take a break"(I am assuming that you are not actually in danger)"I am absolutely delighted for you - carry on and tell me more"Breathe slowly and calmly if you feel yourself becoming emotional. But whatever form the emotional aggression takes, why would anyone put up with being stuck in an abusive relationship?
Later the cult may start to demand money, time, and dignity whilst perniciously sapping self-confidence ("Your own thoughts are bad!"). They may have attractive elements to them, but all traps do.2) Don't assume you can "change them"So many people sucked into an abusive relationship come to feel they can "save" or "change" the very person who abuses them. We find them attractive perhaps because they seem to need us so much or because they are sexy or very rapidly express undying love or fulfil a pattern of neglect and abuse that we have been 'trained' to feel familiar with by previous experiences. This is normal, but the first step of getting out of an abusive relationship is seeing it for what it is. Feeling sorry for someone who bullies you is all wrong.5) Maximize your self-respectAbusive relationships sap self-respect. You start to doubt yourself and feel that your partner is 'right' because of their powerful influence. Make sure to spend time with people who build you up (without demanding anything in return).We all have emotional needs, but if the abusive partner has severed your connections with good friends, then they have, in effect, ensured that they have become the sole 'supplier' of your needs for attention, affection, conversation, and intimacy. This makes the prospect of leaving them scarier.Cults do the same and therefore make it more frightening for the victim to contemplate leaving. But, of course, you can have attention, emotional intimacy, fun, and connection with people (friends and family) outside the relationship.
Keep these connections strong so that you can develop and maintain a strong sense of yourself outside of your relationship.6) Be clear with your abusive partnerSome abusive partners - in fact, many - genuinely won't believe they are abusive. They'll either feel that you 'force them' to be as they are or feel that they are just being themselves. Look at what people do, not what they say.7) Leave the abusive relationshipIf things don't improve, don't waste years of your life on a destructive relationship within which you are treated with contempt (regardless of what the other person says).
If your partner is violent, find someplace safe to go and tell the police this person is threatening. If they tell you that they'll do something rash if you leave them, that is down to them, not you. Hand over responsibility for them to them.You may be very surprised how easily they pick themselves up again after a split, bringing it home how manipulative they were.




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