The overall theme is this… you need to have open communication for the relationship to be meaningful at the end of the day. Disclaimer: All content on this website is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation.
September 4, 2014 by manager · Wondering if you and your partner could benefit from couples counselling – take this quick quiz to help you decide! If you answered YES to question 3, it is URGENT that you get help for your relationship – call the DV Connect 24 hour helpline on 1800 811 811. AppointmentsCouples Counselling appointment times are offered weekdays, after hours and weekends. The Truth about Couples CounsellingIf you've been having problems in your relationship, couples counselling can be of great benefit. When you and your partner are stuck in a loop, arguing about the same things over and over again, couples counselling is more than just a chance to unload to an objective third party. Every week I get calls from people eager to figure out how to get out of the quicksand of difficult emotions and get unstuck.
A good way to think about the complex interaction between your happiness and your life is to think of your mind-body as a vehicle, in which you drive the roads of life.
There are, of course, lots of different kinds of vehicles, in different sizes, colors, makes, and models. Each of us is a unique type of vehicle, which is comprised of all kinds of different strengths and vulnerabilities. Bottom Line: It’s so easy to get caught up in beliefs about how we should be feeling or how easy it should be for us to perform a certain way.
Despite all the different kinds of cars there are, ALL of them have the same 3 components, an engine, steering wheel and tires.
In our mind-body vehicles, there’s an interaction between our emotions (which is like the engine), thoughts, (like the steering wheel) and our action tendencies (like the tires that take us places). If you encounter the poop on the road when you are already experiencing a negative mood, you are more likely to have strong negative judgments, which will further increase your negative mood! Bottom Line: Can you see that it is not necessarily the poop on the road in our lives, which ‘causes’ our experience, but the interaction of the facts with what we bring to the situation? The important thing to remember is that, while the experience may be very real indeed, it is something different (always at least a little bit biased) from the facts on the road. Check out my blog on How to Hack Your Habits to learn how to read the Dashboard of your mind-body vehicle to start identifying your autopilot ETA reactions that can get you stuck in the system. If you have questions about how this system works in your life, I hope you will send me a message in the comments section! Lara Fielding is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, who teaches, supervises, and specializes in the Mindfulness-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT). The skills she teaches are based on her research at UCLA, Harvard, and Peperdine, to incorporate the psycho-physiology of stress, emotion and cognition. Last updated: 10 May 2016Views expressed are those solely of the writer and have not been reviewed. Treating Anxiety & Depression With a Smartphone App Brain Images Show AA Prayers Reduce Cravings Is Dementia Linked to an Overactive Immune System? Lost Marine: Am interested in learning more about this would you help me understand in more depth. Get a print subscription to Reader's Digest and instantly enjoy free digital access on any device. Surgeons have our lives in their hands, but most of us know more about the people who cut our hair than the doctors who cut our bodies. If an airline told you that their pilot is the best but he’s not FAA-certified, would you get on the plane? When it comes time to pick an ERP vendor, it’s important that you take the time to make the right decision. Be sure to select someone who is prepared and capable of delivering what you and your business need. There’s nothing more frustrating than having to explain and re-explain your problems to support team members over and over again. When searching for an ERP vendor, look for a team that is transparent about the support they provide and eager to share information about their support staff. You depend on your ERP software to manage your business and automate all of your vital operations.
Look for case studies, references and portfolios to determine your potential vendor’s experience in your industry.

Are they able to pinpoint the common concerns and possible solutions for businesses like yours?
Look for an ERP vendor who is forthcoming about the scope of the implementation process, the milestones and overall timeline. Sage 100 ERP is designed to maximize productivity and profitability while eliminating inefficiencies. Even though you pick this option, you can still take the quiz and you can still post the results, if you like.
Personally, that is one of the biggest obstacles I faced in my own marriage, opening myself up. Use of this website and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Some are more hardy, like an SUV, and can haul the heavy loads and take the bumps in life pretty well, but might not have a lot of pick up or go very fast. These components interact to create the experience inside the vehicle of the facts on the road outside the vehicle. Each component is constantly influencing our enjoyment of the journey.  But most of the time, the components are outside our awareness.
Facts enter your perception to enter the ETA loop, which is biased by your unique programming.
When you visually perceive the poop on the road, you experience an appraisal thought, feelings (emotions and bodily reactions), which compel an action.
Then you become angry, which leads to other thoughts about all the other inconsiderate people in the world….
Happiness begins with the awareness of how we are all prone to getting caught in the ETA system, and the willingness to build the skills we need to avoid the ETA trap. Or sign up for the Mindful-Mastery SKILL WEEKLY newsletter, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Her private practice is in Los Angeles, where she is also an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University, Graduate School of Education and Psychology, and a Supervisor Psychologist at the UCLA Department of Psychology Clinic. Fielding teaches clients how to master the auto-pilot tendencies of the mind-body emotional system with mindfulness and self-care skills. Fielding is trained and experienced working with groups and individuals suffering from the effects of traumatic experiences, anxiety, and mood disorders.
You’ll likely come to your ERP vendor with questions, concerns and requests over the course of your working relationship.
To make sure your quest to find the right ERP vendor is a success, we’ve compiled a list of must-ask questions. When something goes wrong or you just need a bit of guidance, it’s important to have a support team that can arrive quickly. Having a local support team means you’ll also be able to pursue training programs and integrated IT solutions within reach. You’ll be relying on this software to not only meet the current needs of your business but also future requirements. To learn more about our innovative business and technology solutions, reach out to our team today. When the quiz does post spam on your feed, though, only you will be able to see the post, and your friends won’t be bothered. Go to Settings > Apps and then click on the picture of the pencil beside the quiz app and choose Only Me or click on the X to delete the app.
Watch as she outlines the four questions you should ask yourself when you want to make a change. We have all had that friend, the one that disappears from social circles as soon as they enter a relationship. I felt vulnerable, exposed to being hurt, so I closed myself off which made my husband feel I had closed my love off as well. Always consult with your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.
What they need to know, and I am sharing with you here, is the basic information you need to begin recognizing how you might get caught in the system as well.
Others may be more sporty, and can zip around, but don’t go off-roading so well, and maybe need more maintenance.
An SUV is no better or worse than a sports car, it always depends upon the demands on the road, from moment to moment.
If the vehicle you inhabit is delicate, you may need more self care to build your resilience.

So, if you’re an SUV driving down the road, you will experience the road differently than if you are a small sports car. The secret to authentic happiness, and not getting caught in the system is knowing the difference between what you are experiencing inside your vehicle, and what is factually happening on the road!
We attribute what we experience inside the vehicle (happy or not happy) to what is happening outside the vehicle, which is only one part of the equation.
Your unique life experiences are the programmed content that gets plugged in to this process.
Happiness begins with this knowledge of how the system works, and awareness of your own biased programming within the ETA system – how the experience inside your vehicle is not the same as the facts outside the vehicle. You’re likely thought might be “that’s gross,” experience disgust and then take action to avoid the poop.
As a behavioral psychologist, she works with clients to empower their skillfulness in managing stress and regulating difficult emotions.
Fielding has exhaustively studied the Mindfulness-Based CBT treatments (DBT, ACT, MBSR, MBCT) and their application for problems with Emotion Dysregulation. The only problem with these quizzes is that they often send spammy messages to everyone you know by posting things on your page at random. To ensure that you find out as much key information as possible while still holding up your end of an engaging conversation, here are the nine best questions to ask your date:1. Both you and your partner need time apart, time to spend with friends or simply by yourself.
Transparency about your needs and desires will only help you grow closer to your partner and blossom a beautiful, healthy relationship. There’s a system of interrelated parts, a hard-wiring in all humans, which can derail our happiness. Don’t become to entangled with each other that your friends combine your name, becoming a Brangelina or Bennifer.
Instead of taking it out on your significant other when you are having a bad day, ask for their help and love. But you may need to build some skill in tuning into your authentic feelings as important indicators of your needs (and those of others).
If you ask instead what work she’d most like to be doing or what her dream job is, you get an insight into her ambitions, values and priorities, plus you will instantly come off as more interesting and engaging than 99% of her other dates.
If you're curious to know what she's currently doing for a job, in all likelihood that will flow naturally from this question, plus you have instantly broadened the scope of the conversation and guaranteed a more interesting, intimate chat.2. Her research there explored the relationship between health behavior and the psycho-physiological effects of stress on cognition and emotion. It's broad enough to encompass any books, blog posts and articles she's read recently, so unless your date doesn't read at all (a useful warning sign!), this should jump-start an interesting discussion.
What Are You Looking For In The Dating World?It's important to clarify early in the game whether you and your date have the same expectations. Do You Have Any Siblings?This is a fairly generic question, but it's a useful, low-stakes entry point into a discussion about her family and upbringing, which is always a fruitful topic to explore on a date. A person’s family background can provide clues as to what they're like as a person and about your compatibility, so try to extend the conversation beyond a simple listing of siblings into a polite discussion about where she's from and how she was raised.
Aim to ease her in a sweet spot where she's comfortably discussing her family life but not feeling too vulnerable, because listening to your date talk about her background can give you a much fuller picture of who she is, and gives you the chance to provide her with the same.5. How Long Have You Been Single?Previous relationships can be fraught territory to bring up on a first date, but getting some idea about your date’s relationship historywhen you first meet is useful.
Asking how long she's been single helps to determine whether she's a permanent bachelorette or serial monogamist (or something in between), and it does so in a non-invasive way.
If You Could Have Dinner With Any Three People, Who Would You Choose?Sure, this one won't win you many points for originality. But it's a classic ice-breaker for a reason: iI allows you to instantly determine what kind of people your date finds interesting, and for what reason. The fact that it's a slightly clichéd questions means she may have already thought of an answer, which can help to avoid stilted conversation. It's light and evokes positive memories so it's perfect first date territory, and you’ll learn what kind of explorer she is: did she backpack through Southeast Asia for six months on the cheap?

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