It was the feminist dream of the 1960s a€“ a world in which men and women share the load equally.
History repeating: Wedding bliss in the 1950sMore than 1,500 adults were asked about the attributes that they a€?most valueda€™ in a spouse or partner. Nearly 40 per cent said a€?financial stabilitya€™ is one of the most important qualities in their husband and they rank gardening as more important than an ability to cook or clean.
Modern MarriedRelationship Advice For Women on How To Create a Life You Love with the Love of Your Life Learn How to Create a 5 Star Marriage with "The Love Upgrade" + VIP access to our classes and coaching programs. If you have ever wondered what makes men happy in marriage, we have the answers for you here today!
What an honor and delight to have Marriage & Family Counselor and Superstar Blogger, Aaron Anderson sharing his insights with us. I have recruited the hubby to share his views from time to time to bring the masculine energy and wisdom to our soulful conversations. All the love songs, movies and books out there are about a man wooing a woman trying to win over her affections. But even though men may want to be loved and cared for, they want to be shown it differently than women.
And despite what the Superbowl ads would lead you to believe, most men don’t feel close to women while drinking beer and watching them dance in bikinis, either.
So how do men want to feel loved and what can wives do to show their husbands that they care?
Men want a woman who is fiercely independent, who has her own desires, goals, drives and plans how to achieve them. Men absolutely love it when their wives are in tune with them enough to know when they’ve had a bad day and need to be left alone and when they’ve had a bad day and need someone to talk to about it. Wives often fill their day with so many things with the kids, that when night time comes and it is just the two of them together, the wife has spent all her energy on the children and has none left for her husband. She forgets what’s going on at his work, what his friends are doing or how his latest hobby is going – but she can probably say exactly what score their oldest got on their spelling test or what boy their daughter likes. Men love it when their wives plan a date for the weekend to go a comedy club or a restaurant and then out for drinks afterwards.
Instead of their spouse criticizing them and pointing out flaws (which makes men feel their relationship is on dangerous ground), men want a wife who will be patient with him when he feels challenged by his shortcomings. A man likes to know that his wife won’t take advantage of his shortcomings and will keep his insecurities safe while he’s working on them. Even though men get a bad reputation for being the least romantic of the two sexes, they still like romance. They also want to feel like they’re safe in their relationship with a partner who loves them and is invested in them. Aaron Anderson a Licensed Marriage Counselor and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. Reaching across the magical ethers from Miami to Colorado to give Aaron a big hug and thanks for this thoughtful and generous view of what makes men happy in marriage. And if that seems like a big question listen to this free podcast where we go deep into how to connect with your spouse when you are not on the same page and create a “communication highway” for the free flow of both easy and delicate topics. Posted on: November 7, 2013 8 Comments Filed Under: Healthy Relationships, Marriage AdviceLove this post? My wife used to carry all my crap in her purse, my glasses, nail clippers, stevia, nail file, etc. Thank you Maggie for helping us focus on what is working in our marriages and how we might do more to open a greater space for love to grow – you are truly serving the world! I help Smart, Soulful, Successful women (just like you!) have healthier, happier, sexier marriages using simple tools I share on the blog and in my personalized coaching programs.
After years working on the HR side of luxury hospitality, I realized, 5 star hotels are fabulous, but 5 star marriages are even better!
Plus regular bursts of soul-filled, love-soaked inspiration + VIP access to our classes and coaching programs. By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. While every man is different, there are certain things about a woman that will make any man stand up, take notice, and make him decide he wants to get to know you on a deeper level. Unfortunately, too many women seem to forget this and want to talk their way into a man’s heart. Real men want a woman who inspires them because she has great things going on her own life.


A woman who has the maturity to not blame or criticize a man for what she’s feeling, but to share her feelings in an honest and authentic way that helps a man better understand her will be attractive to a man. As a Type A man, the second I realized that I didn’t have to be a slave to my attraction to Type As was the second I fell in love and got married to a Type B.
I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. Most women WANT men who are providers, protectors, and leaders of their family, and don’t want to be these things themselves. Jeremy Strength and independence is what many men find attractive, it’s just how the women in our lives display it. It it rather a quandry, deciding to give a man a chance, or let him go if there’s no feeling of attraction.
I guess that’s why no one likes to be the initiator, because they are the FIRST one to dive head first into the possibility of being rejected. This is how we work.  We can fight it, but statistics show that the more we deviate from traditional roles, the more likely it is to have marital break-down. Personally, I want a man who is smarter than me…I know, I know how that sounds but I am sick and tired of being the smarter one who always has to figure out the answer. We want men to do this but ONLY for us… With their agency they’ve  taken the liberty to write in I will f other women on the side behind your back too! For the record, one person can be the leader in a relationship but both people can still be equals.  For me, being equal simply means having the same values.
Tanya Jackson, corporate affairs manager at the building society, said: a€?A lot of women used to think they wanted a metrosexual man. As a site run by a woman and written for women, I am endlessly curious about the male side of things. I am so thrilled to add to our male voices with this heartfelt guest post where Aaron tells us the truth about what men really want out of marriage.
Thanks to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, somehow men got stuck with a bad reputation when it comes to romance.
But times have changed and men don’t need to protect against wild predators who are trying to eat their families anymore. Men don’t want to be taken to a good chick flick or watch a movie that makes them cry to feel close to their spouse.
Men like that their wives need them but not to the point that their wife relies on them for every small thing – this feels smothering.
They like a wife who can accomplish her goals on her own (and will) but invites her husband to do things with her because it means more when he’s there. They may not ask for help when they’re working around the house, but they like to feel like their wife takes care of them everywhere else. Just like women like to be taken out on dates by their husband to be romanced and wooed, men also like to be taken out on dates.
The fact that their wife took the time to plan something they thought their husband would like is a good enough feeling that men often don’t care what they do as long as their wife planned it and thought of their husband in the mean time. And a man especially wants to feel like his wife is supportive of him in his challenges and isn’t using his challenges as reasons to walk away.
Underneath is a person who wants to be cared for, loved and take care of just as much as you do. In addition to counseling, he is also a writer for various blogs and websites all related to marriage and families. By practicing these 5 tips, we not only create a deeper love and appreciation in our marriage, we are providing the best of role models for our children.
I thought Randi Gunther’s take in the Huffington Post on how modern marriages are flawed was an interesting one. How can he serve his woman’s need for a partner who is vulnerable, open, and intimate, while donning armor to fight the dangers that threaten his family and place in the world? There are tradeoffs to both approaches, and ultimately you have to find the guy who is the best fit for you. Because a woman like that will treat us like one of the guys, and we have guy friends, we want to come home to something soft, comforting, feminine. And from what I’ve read on this site and many like it, that is how women and men differ. So for the majority of men, when he gets the courage to ask out a woman who he thinks is attractive (a woman who without the safety of the internet, he probably would never approach in real life), and she has both e-mail and phone conversations with him, Plus!!!
So a woman initiating some of those things, will be a sign to him that it’s mutual attraction.


In the past, I have had similar sentiments, I am open to getting to know someone first and worry about letting them down easy. And while there will always be deviations, there is a reason why after centuries upon centuries and although times have changed drastically, there are still recurring themes that will always stick (more or less). Is that why there are higher rates of suicide and violence amongst chronically unattached men who have limited or no access to women? Men who would use them just for sex, or who will get her pregnant and then leave her as a single mother, so they feel that the smarter she is, the better she will be at choosing better types of men.
These fathers think like this because they know how they treated women when they were younger.
According to research published today, most men want a traditional wife a€“ and women are often only toohappy to oblige.In turn, it claims that the husband women most desire is a a€?retrosexuala€™ a€“ meaning they are more hunter gatherer than a a€?metrosexuala€™ stay-at-home father.
So underneath their calloused ‘nothing bothers me’ exterior, what do men really want in a relationship? Men want a woman who doesn’t need them but she asks for him to be in her life because she wants him.
He is on the Board of Directors of The Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and is the editor for the Marriage Section of the Good Men Project.
What matters to a man is that a woman still has space in her life for a great relationship and is grounded and present when she’s with him. She posits that while there’s been an evolution in gender roles within our relationships, it may not necessarily be for the best.
Oddly, the androgynous men seemed to like their new-found emotional availability, while the women began to feel more unfulfilled.
How can he stand up and be a man amongst men, loyal to the hunting band that covers his back, while taking the night feeding, while not appearing less than a man?
In my opinion, Type A women are better served by partnering up with Type B men, even if they’re more attracted to Type As. Powerful and strong at work with your employees and co-workers is great, I would rather brag that my wife is a VP at Microsoft, then saying she is a bagger at the local grocery store. At the end of the day, though the overall net effect is negative, men still come out for the better – they simply do better single, especially emotionally. Maybe if were allowed to vote in peace and have jobs without having to fight for everything to gain some freedom, we won’t be in this quandary.
Is that why marriage has always been looked at as a way to civilize MEN more so than women?
You can get his great information about marriage on his Facebook page, by following him on twitter or on his blog the Relationship Rx.
Did he blend his male energy with his female side, or did he learn to be more like a female at the price of his innate masculinity?
Maybe the author thinks I will up and leave him to pursue yoga or something at some point but why would I?
If he isn’t trying to just sleep with a woman (because a man will sleep with a woman he is not attracted to but not court her) but he actually wants to date her, he tries to date her, make her his girl. So to many of the male posters on this site, Evan’s advice of as long as she says yes, she likes you, isn’t true!
I realised I was just being nice and being nice sometimes brings me unnecessary dilemmas as well. I see a lot of divorced fathers treat women like just something to use for sex, but the moment he thinks his daughters boyfriend is going to try to get to 2nd base with his daughter then, he is a bad guy, who will just use his precious daughter… What?!!! More than 2.1million women say they do not work because they are a€?looking after their family or homea€™.
The thing is I don’t take it too hard when I do get rejected, I just put it down to incompatibility and risk of dating.
Only 193,000 men gave the same answer a€“ a figure which has fallen by 6 per cent over the past year. If there is something he wants strongly, I let him have it, likewise, if there is something I want strongly, he lets me have it. If I get such feedback as you did, “You didn’t even give me a chance” and “leading him on”. It is out of honesty and respect that someone makes it clear in an upfront manner as soon as they realise that it isn’t going to work and save each other time and energy which can go towards someone who willingly wants a second date.



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