Now, that was not that complicated, was it?  Of course not!  After all, men are anything but complicated.  The complicated creatures would be us….
Many women get involved romantically with men and expect them to take on the role of the boyfriend and husband that they have concocted in their mind. This shadow avatar of a boyfriend (leta€™s call him Ben) is a Frankenstein creature, built from soap operas, Romance Comedies, her father, brothers, and boyfriends of the past. Ben had a high position in his company and his aspirations for wealth led him to being an efficient, smart, working machine. Ben was attractive for being successful, but since hea€™s a fictional dream boyfriend he magically stays successful without putting in the long hours and the extra work it took to maintain when she wasna€™t around. Hea€™s apologetic when they fight, he continuously pursues her if she leaves, and although he loves the fact that she can do everythinga€¦ he still does all of the things a traditional man does (fixes the car, fixes the sink, mows the lawn). The idea of Ben rests in a woman having control and the false pretext that life is a movie where fights turn into hot, unbridled sex, workaholics become rich love junkies negating their careers, and men fall madly in love with their women. Men deal with this Ben expectation but it tends to always yield the same result: girl gets mad that new boyfriend isna€™t Ben, does the immature thing of dumping him to see if that will make him fight for her, then gets upset when he burns the bridge and moves on.
Ben is a myth, we are all flawed and the things that you like so much may actually be the result of an ugly side that you will never understand. So if you are actively seeking Ben and find that you are now trying desperately to call your ex-boyfriend back because you dumped him to make a point, I have to ask. Like I said, Sergeant Willie Pete is right, because many black men thought that I was either too dark (thus too ugly) to bring home, but I was good enough to use and impregnate. Since marrying a white man, many black men (and surprisingly, some black women) smugly say that one look at me, and they just know why I advocate swirling.
The inter-racial marriage gap that opened in the past 50 years is generally attributed to a decline in the availability of young black marriageable men.


Check out BB&W Kids, the first major website celebrating multiracial, multicultural and inter religious families! Caring – Whether it is cooking dinner, doing laundry, keeping the house clean or doctoring him when he is sick, a man wants his woman to take care of him. He is attentive when shea€™s in the mood for him, he politely nudges her for sex often, and his entire life is changed for her; his every waking moment being a struggle to get as much time with her as possible. Long hours yield long money and it allowed him to take her out on dates to the fanciest of restaurants in the most exclusive locations. Ben is a hopeless romantic who all the other girls are jealous overa€¦ but he never, ever looks at them. Ben isna€™t real, and the entire notion is ridiculous, but this fantasy guy is the expectation of many a green young girl in new relationships; sadly some older women too. To the mature, seasoned woman this Ben guy is one to laugh at because she knows ita€™s the dream of teenagers and virgin maids.
Party girl who loves fancy restaurants and big gifts will date money guy, but unless money guy inherited his wealth she will have to compete with his career. The word 'Man' comes with a variety of definitions from many different people who (respectfully) have their own means and agendas doesn't it?
We contend that the associated shortage of desirable men in the marriage market provides those black men who are sought after with the opportunity to attain a high status spouse, which has placed a premium on having light skin shade. Despite the negativity about black women dating out or being “unwanted,” there are men of all races who think we are divine.
If you do not cook and never have, you can remind him of special events that he may forget about or ask him about his day. But when Ben became this womana€™s boyfriend, his aspirations naturally take a turn for her, the motivation now being their life in happily-ever-after instead of his financial freedom.


Regardless of where Ben and his woman met he his head over heels in love with her, and she is convinced that she is of him.
Hopeless romantic guy may just be too clingy, sexually hungry guy may be a perverta€¦ I can keep going with these but the point is this: Relationships are never 100% to your liking.
How long will it take for you to realize that love is a relationship full of trust and compromise? 55 percent of light skinned black females had been married, but only 30 percent of those with medium skin shade and 23 percent of the dark skinned females had ever been married. We provide evidence, based on data drawn from the Multi City Study of Urban Inequality, consistent with this hypothesis for young black women. The simple things go a long way when showing him you care.  No man wants to do everything for himself, especially things his mother did for him, when he has a special lady in his life. Our theoretical analysis of the marriage market reveals that policies to increase the desire to marry on the part of young black women will enhance the importance attached to skin shade. You are not wrong to flee those who hate you and gravitate to social circles in which you are accepted and celebrated. I’m telling other black women who look like me that they have other options, and that they should go where their beauty is celebrated. Now I’ll just go take my ugly self downstairs and have dinner with my loving family and in-laws while someone in cyberspace suffers from a head explosion.




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