As much as advice columnists need to rely on generalizations and stereotypes in order to make our case, it would be dangerous to consider men as if they were some sort of monolithic unified entity. And while I’d agree with you that there aren’t many angst-y male conversations about the words “I love you”, I think there are many reasons that men say it. Just because a man says “I love you” doesn’t mean that he’s a perfect boyfriend, doesn’t mean he wants to marry you, and doesn’t mean he’s going to still love you in a month. A man says “I love you” because he loves you and those are the best words to express what he’s feeling at that time. BUT – and this is a tangent – just because a man says “I love you” doesn’t mean that he’s a perfect boyfriend, doesn’t mean he wants to marry you, and doesn’t mean he’s going to still love you in a month. It’s possible because he said “I love you” spontaneously – because he meant it – and then, upon further reflection, didn’t want to reinforce the message, because he wasn’t sure he was going to stick around. The fact is: different people weight those words differently – and it would be impossible for me to say what YOUR boyfriend is thinking. In my mid-30s, I had one girlfriend and I didn’t say it for 8 months, because I wasn’t sure I meant it.
I do think that your belief that men say it to you first just to get you off their back or because you want to hear it is unlikely.
I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. The ones who say I love you too fast are always trouble, be glad he is taking his time and will say it when he means it. Like with all things male, men like to prove and show their love rather than just talking about it. I don’t find any part of this post flighty, emotionally unavailable, needy or neurotic. We’re all human and most of us are just trying to learn how to connect and find a loving mate. And recently he met me at a local bar for drinks after an exhausting day even though I was with my autistic daughter (20). Talk about unselfish. In my two marriages I wasn’t deeply unhappy, just never was fed emotionally in a way I knew I could be, based on ONE, lovely year-long relationship.
And it took me years to TARGET the guy who could do this for me, thanks to Evan’s advice, the right mix of astrological sign (Cancers! As a guy, I definitely need to hear those three little words every so often to feel like I’m wanted for who I am.


Like Evan said, you have to remember that different people say that for different reasons at different times. A relationship where you share what you are feeling towards  other partner in a particular moment. Evan wrote: A man says “I love you” because he loves you and those are the best words to express what he’s feeling at that time. Like other posters here have said, men and women both say and do things in the heat of the moment before really thinking carefully about the implications of their words and actions. If men were flighty there would be dumb blond guy jokes, t-shirts, and bumper stickers mocking the subject. My apologies for not effectively communicating my shock at learning that men can casually say I love you and sincerely mean it only in the moment. I was specifically talking about the boundaries when a man says I Love You – that is it nothing more or less. It’s there a theory or study that says men really want respect and women really want to be loved? If someone only loves you and says they love you, in the moment, then that’s not really love in my book. When checked, Shutterstock's safe search screens restricted content and excludes it from your search results. If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words.
For me, it was my way of letting her know that I was seriously considering a long-term relationship. Most men would rather say nothing than to say something that they don’t mean and may come to regret later.
If he treats you like he loves you, then I am quite confident that his feelings and words aren’t all that far behind. If he is cool and distant, he is a write-off.  If he keeps saying I love you, he is a stalker in the making. To a woman, a man saying I love you means 1) he will do anything for you 2) he will cop shit from you 3) he will give you kids and marry you 4) he will love your friends and family even if they hate him 5) he will smile and say It’s OK love when you bang up his Maseratti 6) he will let you have his credit card and not ask any questions 7).
I’ve been married 7 and 25 years, respectively, and in all that time my stated and unstated emotional needs were met a grand total of, I don’t know, 5 years? The way you phrased your opinion about men being flighty seemed a tad judgemental to me and I felt that merited a response.


The other thing with men is that they often say and do what they think you want them to say and do, in order to please you, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. Women never forget things like that and men know that if there were going to say I love you, it means having to live with the consequences for the next ten thousand years. Don’t want to re-marry, and will only live with a man if given an ultimatum (I like my independence). Martin Quote“If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. If a guy just makes her feel vulnerable and uncertain, then maybe her heart isn’t in safe hands. In my opinion, those 3 words have been given way too much significance and weight in the context of a relationship.
I am not looking to be with men or respect men that use such words carelessly or change their feelings at the drop of a hat. And, yes, I probably was driving myself crazy with these questions, over-thinking and over-analyzing (guilty as charged). And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.” ?George R. Plus her ability to be, or learn to be, truly uninhibited and satisfied in the bedroom will be limited. Some of my straight guy friends do think of their lost chances with a great girl  and regret not having said those three words enough.
If they were, why would we constantly be doing all this guess work when trying to navigate intimate relationships with them?
He brings me flowers when I’ve had an awful day, and shows me support when it counts. Martin Quotes“The common people pray for rain, healthy children, and a summer that never ends, Ser Jorah told her.
It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace.



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