While you are browsing why not open a couple of these entertaining articles in a new tab for later. A man is really looking for a happy woman who is confident in articulating her needs in a powerful yet feminine way. If he’s committed to you, he wants you to be a part of his decision-making process and trusts your viewpoint. It’s important that he wants to sleep with you of course, because that just means he’s attracted to you!
I am so lucky to have a partner of 35 years who has always valued and supported me even when he didn’t have clue as to what I was doing.
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Smart, successful women make 3 huge mistakes that absolutely kill their chances with the alpha males who are looking for committed relationships.
Modern MarriedRelationship Advice For Women on How To Create a Life You Love with the Love of Your Life Learn How to Create a 5 Star Marriage with "The Love Upgrade" + VIP access to our classes and coaching programs. If you have ever wondered what makes men happy in marriage, we have the answers for you here today! What an honor and delight to have Marriage & Family Counselor and Superstar Blogger, Aaron Anderson sharing his insights with us. I have recruited the hubby to share his views from time to time to bring the masculine energy and wisdom to our soulful conversations. All the love songs, movies and books out there are about a man wooing a woman trying to win over her affections.
But even though men may want to be loved and cared for, they want to be shown it differently than women. And despite what the Superbowl ads would lead you to believe, most men don’t feel close to women while drinking beer and watching them dance in bikinis, either. So how do men want to feel loved and what can wives do to show their husbands that they care? Men want a woman who is fiercely independent, who has her own desires, goals, drives and plans how to achieve them. Men absolutely love it when their wives are in tune with them enough to know when they’ve had a bad day and need to be left alone and when they’ve had a bad day and need someone to talk to about it.
Wives often fill their day with so many things with the kids, that when night time comes and it is just the two of them together, the wife has spent all her energy on the children and has none left for her husband. She forgets what’s going on at his work, what his friends are doing or how his latest hobby is going – but she can probably say exactly what score their oldest got on their spelling test or what boy their daughter likes.
Men love it when their wives plan a date for the weekend to go a comedy club or a restaurant and then out for drinks afterwards.
Instead of their spouse criticizing them and pointing out flaws (which makes men feel their relationship is on dangerous ground), men want a wife who will be patient with him when he feels challenged by his shortcomings. A man likes to know that his wife won’t take advantage of his shortcomings and will keep his insecurities safe while he’s working on them. Even though men get a bad reputation for being the least romantic of the two sexes, they still like romance.
They also want to feel like they’re safe in their relationship with a partner who loves them and is invested in them.
Aaron Anderson a Licensed Marriage Counselor and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. Reaching across the magical ethers from Miami to Colorado to give Aaron a big hug and thanks for this thoughtful and generous view of what makes men happy in marriage.
And if that seems like a big question listen to this free podcast where we go deep into how to connect with your spouse when you are not on the same page and create a “communication highway” for the free flow of both easy and delicate topics.
Posted on: November 7, 2013 8 Comments Filed Under: Healthy Relationships, Marriage AdviceLove this post? My wife used to carry all my crap in her purse, my glasses, nail clippers, stevia, nail file, etc. Thank you Maggie for helping us focus on what is working in our marriages and how we might do more to open a greater space for love to grow – you are truly serving the world! I help Smart, Soulful, Successful women (just like you!) have healthier, happier, sexier marriages using simple tools I share on the blog and in my personalized coaching programs. After years working on the HR side of luxury hospitality, I realized, 5 star hotels are fabulous, but 5 star marriages are even better! Plus regular bursts of soul-filled, love-soaked inspiration + VIP access to our classes and coaching programs.
Men without women soon devolve into a grumpy, slightly whiffy adolescent state that, ironically, is like anti-catnip to the opposite sex. Without you we’d all be sitting unshaven in our pants arguing about whose turn it was with the Xbox. But I guess a general consensus would be a lady who gets on famously with your friends, gets your sense of humour and makes you feel special.
Obviously I can’t answer this for every man who inhabits the planet, however I know what I like and would hope for in a woman. And finally, looks are important, of course, but only in the sense that we fancy each other. Someone who gives them the space to be grown up and revel in preconceptions of being a #LAD, whilst occasionally (generally when there’s no-one else around) treating them like a child. Le Blow is a UK lifestyle and wellbeing blog (like Goop, minus the bullshit), written by Natalie Wall - a thirty-something living in London and wanting a simpler life. February 12, 2012 by Tom Matlack 95 Comments LikeTweetIn a big study about male preferences in their mate, some interesting data emerged. For more than a century, women oftenwere forced to choose between an education and a husband.
The result has been a historic reversal of what the economist Elaina Rose calls the “success” penalty for educated women.
My wife is definitely smarter than I am, a lawyer for many years before moving on to design and then work with children’s advocacy.
I just noticed the part of the quoted article that talks about an “success penalty,” meaning that some women are less likely to get married than others. I’m assuming the assumption is that all women more or less want to get married, but educated ones find it slightly more difficult to find a mate so that must mean they have been “penalized” for being educated.
It’s somewhat regressive to suggest that not being married means you’ve been penalized somehow. As long as you post an article or comment where you cite your subordinate position relative to your wife, you’ll be okay. I think just as the feminist movement allowed women to define their own role, men should define their own role and establish their own masculine identity, regardless if society approves or not. Nice thoughts, but in my relationship what I say is taken down and used in evidence against me.
On men defining their own role, MGTOW is becoming more popular now, is this what you meant? Revealing yourself to someone on a deep level makes anyone feel vulnerable regardless of sex. Men and women do communicate differently and this is why I brought Bob and the contract with his wife up.


Labeling me as a feminist and seeing me through the lens of what you have chosen to define feminist as, has caused you to misinterpret what I am saying. Hey Sharon, although I somewhat agree with you, more and more women are truly understanding what men want from women and relationships.
So yeah, there are plenty of women out there who don’t fully understand what men want, but luckily more and more women are becoming wiser in relationships.
Seeing this study makes me feel so much better, because it runs in correlation with what I teach. Those unequal relationships have always existed throughout history and had been pretty successful. In 1939, college degrees were much rarer than they are today, while high school diplomas were only slightly less common. Thinking like a historian, I would note that the 1939 survey was conducted after 10 years of the Great Depression, a very extreme time not only for economic issues but also for marriages and families – the birthrate dropped, people got married less often, there were virtually no new houses built, etc. I think intelligence and education are not necessarily inseparable from a lot of the other categories.
And, don’t forget the continued evolution of the “geek chic” and “sexy librarian” aesthetic in American pop culture. I can’t speak for Tom but in my world whatever people do in the privacy of their own home is not for me to judge. Dr Adam Sheck, aka the Passion Doctor, lets the cat out the bag and shares the ultimate secret that all womanhood have been seeking to understand for centuries. Hint:  It’s not about having a “trophy” partner or someone to feed us and take care of us when we’re sick.
What men REALLY want in a relationship is a safe place to recharge and renew themselves in order to go back out and face the world and “fight the good fight.”  What men want is a safe, secure, STRESS-FREE environment where we can recover from dealing with the “rat-race” and just relax.
What men want is a place where we can be ourselves, without putting on the facade that the world sometimes demands.
When I’m in a relationship, I’m happy just knowing that my partner is in the house, we don’t even need to talk.
There is the psychology, and then there is also the biology. Men are more susceptible to being physiologically aroused.
Jerry Seinfeld – numbers to prank call, pranks gone bad, household pranks , prank emails, phone numbers to prank call, pranks to pull on people, pranks to pull on your boyfriend, epic pranks, how to do pranks. Whether it be what they want from a woman, or from a relationship, the movies, media and our girlfriends give us mixed message that leave Dignity Daters confused, frustrated and possibly even making tragic dating mistakes that leave them stuck in their romantic rut.
So when you’re in a relationship with a Boyfriend Material man, he’s going to require that you engage in open conversations about your relationship in which you both express your needs and make sure they get met. Men really want to feel strong and useful, so just make sure to let him know you appreciate him.
But the other piece of the relationship puzzle is how good you make him feel when he’s around you.
In order to be ready for a relationship-ready man, make sure to check out the D-Factor Dateability Assessment and learn exactly why you’re still single in just 60 minutes.
As a site run by a woman and written for women, I am endlessly curious about the male side of things. I am so thrilled to add to our male voices with this heartfelt guest post where Aaron tells us the truth about what men really want out of marriage. Thanks to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, somehow men got stuck with a bad reputation when it comes to romance. But times have changed and men don’t need to protect against wild predators who are trying to eat their families anymore. Men don’t want to be taken to a good chick flick or watch a movie that makes them cry to feel close to their spouse. Men like that their wives need them but not to the point that their wife relies on them for every small thing – this feels smothering.
They like a wife who can accomplish her goals on her own (and will) but invites her husband to do things with her because it means more when he’s there.
They may not ask for help when they’re working around the house, but they like to feel like their wife takes care of them everywhere else.
Just like women like to be taken out on dates by their husband to be romanced and wooed, men also like to be taken out on dates. The fact that their wife took the time to plan something they thought their husband would like is a good enough feeling that men often don’t care what they do as long as their wife planned it and thought of their husband in the mean time. And a man especially wants to feel like his wife is supportive of him in his challenges and isn’t using his challenges as reasons to walk away.
Underneath is a person who wants to be cared for, loved and take care of just as much as you do.
In addition to counseling, he is also a writer for various blogs and websites all related to marriage and families.
By practicing these 5 tips, we not only create a deeper love and appreciation in our marriage, we are providing the best of role models for our children.
Someone who takes the piss out of themselves, for me, is a rare attribute in a woman, but a defining one. I personally believe lust is one of the first things to evaporate in a relationship, so a mutual and acute desire for one another is key. By 2008, the percentage of college-educated white women ages 55 to 59 who had never been married was down to 9 percent, just 3 points higher than their counterparts without college degrees.
Then, the quoted article suggests that among the younger generation the marriage rates are the same regardless of education, so men must be more okay with educated women.
Perhaps older educated women are slightly less likely to be married because they are slightly less likely to want to get married? Way to go in attempting to hijack this thread in order to go on about your friend’s ex who you are obsessed with.
I imagine it must be incredibly difficult for men since for generations they have been told how to be a man and all of a sudden they have no concrete guidelines and no role models. Him and his 64 year old wife went through a lot: losing their first born son, seeing a project close to their heart fail and much more. You first have a problem with Aharon speaking on behalf of men and believe that he should understand that he speaks only for himself. I agree with you in the fact the many women think that men only focus on Physical Attractiveness, this right here is definately a mis-understanding.
I have read hundreds of news pieces and other media articles over many years, and never does a woman get it right about men.
Society’s expectation about how much education you need has gone up, not just in terms of mates, but in EVERY part of our society, so it’s not surprising that people are more conscious of education level.
More women are graduating from colleges and pursuing career, and the domestic skills has taken a beating.
When they insist on tossing it in my face I’ll give my opinion, defend it if necessary once or maybe twice and then drop it if no meeting of minds occurs. He’ll also want you to be authentic and true to yourself as you express your honest opinion. They want to be told that they’re being manly when they change a lightbulb or fix your  plumbing. So underneath their calloused ‘nothing bothers me’ exterior, what do men really want in a relationship?


Men want a woman who doesn’t need them but she asks for him to be in her life because she wants him.
He is on the Board of Directors of The Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and is the editor for the Marriage Section of the Good Men Project.
As late as 1950, one-third of white female college graduates ages 55 to 59 had never married, compared with only 7 percent of their counterparts without college degrees. And among women 35 to 39, there was no longer any difference in the percentage who were married. We are only better at it because we are expected to be vulnerable and allowed to practice doing so. They are so full of love and have kept my hope alive of what a relationship should look like. I just hope each man develops his own way and not follow another mold, even if it is a liberated one. Not only should you be embarrassed about your fixation on a senior citizen and wanting a younger version of him for yourself, but your insensitivity to the historical oppression people have faces is simply disgusting. I’m sure black folks love hearing your novel opinions about it not being that whites oppressed blacks. But it is also nice to engage with people who think like you do amidst the troubling things I see on TV. There were majors that were closed to women, under the assumption that they would likely drop out to have children, so no science or engineering for you, young lady, we don’t want you taking a spot from a man who’s going to finish his degree. For “mutual attraction” I will be more likely to be attracted to someone with some brains, so it’s sort of the same thing. It’s about these top young female executives and the way they boss the men in their lives around.
In my limited experience with female executives, I find them to be team builders and consensus seekers rather than ball busters.
Does that mean if you want some “head”, she calls her friends and forms a focus group? Is it the Barbie doll wife, loads of sex, or just a safe “man cave” where he can retreat every day after a long hard slog at work?
They want your respect most of all, and your true authentic respect is going to make him feel great. You can get his great information about marriage on his Facebook page, by following him on twitter or on his blog the Relationship Rx. The desire for a good cook and housekeeper had dropped to 14th place, near the bottom of the 18-point scale. I certainly don’t think so because some of my male friends are the most amazing guys.
Liberation and the freedom to just be can be scary but should be taken as an opportunity for growth. We have proven that we can raise children, support them financially, emotionally on our own and so forth. You forgot to mention that all your friends are white, and you’re their one black friend who co-signs on all their ignorance.
We share much of lifes chores but I’m a better cook, carpenter, plumber and electrician. Now it’s practically inconceivable that a young woman would go to college primarily to find a husband, and it’s inconceivable that there would be separate majors for male and female students.
Intelligence would contribute to some degree of “dependable character” and some degree of “emotional stability,” although there are plenty of highly educated jerks and nutcases.
Every rule has exceptions and most of us find that things are pretty much as we expect them to be. Do you mean the emotional process is exhaustive that you feel beat afterwards or that she is emotionally manipulative and puts you down for being emotional? On one side is the ideology of challenging everything that exists in society as something oppressive, where women need to be more like men, and men need to be more like women.
Have you ever thought that if men don’t feel comfortable acting like women and crying all the time, that they might have their own legitimate reasons and own valid points of view other than being oppressed by the patriarchy? This article is about smart women and now I realize why some men, such as yourself can’t keep up with smart women. It takes some minimum of character and some minimum maturity to stick to a program of study for a number of years. What doesn’t match expectations gets deleted, distorted or generalized until it does match our internal map of the territory.
Although, it’s hard to tell if your dazzeling me with footwork, or baffeling me with bullshit (either one, by the way, would be easy enough to do).
These kind, nurturing acts don’t mean you are “spoiling him” or even that he will expect it always. Whelan reports that by 2008, men’s interest in a woman’s education and intelligence had risen to No. And, on the other side is the reality – that men appearing weak it not attractive to you.
At 69 he will still brag about the winning score he made on the basketball court in college, his frat days and his current sex life.
They patched up their marriage when they set specific rules on how to communicate about personal matters.
After all Bob has gone through from losing is son to project failures, to be able to lift his head up and be full of such love, tenderness, forgiveness, kindness and giving is so amazing. Certain words that elicit anger especially from the past cannot be used like inadequate or lack of initiative. Don’t be afraid to admit weakness, to admit mistakes, to ask for support, to cry, etc.
I can say from a bad experience as well as well that opening up has to come from both sides. I know its hard since some women like myself appreciate and admire men who are strong enough to be completely integrated with themselves, while others expect men to adhere to the restrictive gender roles that society has created.
If not, then you have the right to leave but not the right to stay and complain or to stay and try to change someone. They have the rules they agreed upon in a contract, which they passed down to their children and to me. I am trying to practice listening properly, without judgment and without having to say anything, with everyone now. It became almost a game to him to tell me that certain things were going on in his head, which drew me back in just when I was on the point of leaving. However, I shut myself off for about five years, causing every relationship to crash and burn. I finally started confronting my feelings on my own rather than hide, suppress or run away from them. We all have to do it on our own but we like to be heard and supported while we figure it out.



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