The answer of course depends on your exact situation, so I will go over some of the most common scenarios to break down the most common reasons why your man has been withdrawing.
The bottom line here is that this guy is not interested in you, and it is time to move on to the next guy. In the beginning when you have just started dating a guy, both of you are still free to date other people. If you come on too strong in the beginning of a relationship by calling or texting a guy constantly, he is going to lose interest and pull away.
If you let a guy pursue you, and he still pulls away, that is a sure sign that he is not interested. The best way to prevent this from every happening to you is to hold off on having sex with a guy you are dating until you get into a committed, monogamous relationship.
If you make a guy wait and he continues to pursue you, you will know for sure that he is interested in you, and not just sex. There are a few common fears that most men have that factor into why they start to pull away from relationships.
This process is often referred to as the “rubber band,” where a man alternates between being close to his partner and pulling away, like a rubber band. I know all the comments are from 2013 but I just wanted to say this has been the best article for what I’m going through.
You stopped being the person you presented yourself to be when you first met — you became your true self and after a few months he sees it now. I have heard of so many women who have gone through the same scenario but I never thought it would happen to me one day.
I’m going through a divorce and a guy who let me down when I really liked him in high school comes along and swoops me off my feet. I am hurt cuz I think I love him or he was a great distraction from my bad divorce situation.
Dealing with emotions are not taught in schools but just the same, don’t let yourself sit around moping about it!
From the answer, you can develop your own questions to get a better understanding of your next potential date. That shows him that you GET HIM, and you have no interest in pressuring him, or making heavy of your relationship when he’s got cold feet.
And let him breathe, stop over txt, and never ever tell him you need him or it makes you sad. It is truly frustrating and difficult to understand why when things seem to be going so well, that the man suddenly seems withdrawn and distant.
If you cannot think of any reason that he might be focused elsewhere – do consider the option that maybe, just maybe, he is moving on from you.
You remain polite, but you keep your distance, late responses to texts, not answering phone calls, etc. It is not easy, we know, but really the sooner you make that decision in your heart, the easier it will be to move on – and the faster your heart will be open to meet someone else.
You have been getting closer and closer to your guy recently and things seem to have been going really well. He would bring you flowers or do other romantic things, such as take you out for a fancy dinner date. This is such a common occurrence that just about every woman has asked herself this question at some point. Guys have a biological instinct that makes them want to hunt you down and claim you as their own. Letting him pursue you at this stage is what will keep him interested and prevent him from pulling away.
There absolutely are good guys out there, and there is no reason to waste any more time on this loser. Once you have been dating for a while and both of you want to take it to the next level, have a conversation and discuss what being in a relationship means to both of you before you get into a physical relationship. Men are afraid of losing their freedom, and they are afraid that you will try to change them.
The key is not to move towards your man when he is withdrawing, because it creates slack in the rubber band. It will make him appreciate you even more and want to win you back so he never loses you for good.
The minute he pulls away immediately start focusing on yourself, your hobbies, all the pleasant things that make YOU happy , join dating web site, go shopping and live your life without him . Before this, we had an interest in each other for about a year, we just never did anything on account that I met him off of a mutual friend.
After so many times of trying, I started to panic and called his friend and he told me he saw him coming out from the job in a great hurry, packed all his things from his locker and dumped so many things.
Granted he tried to make up for it by asking me to the finale school dance but then he went quiet and only surfaced now.


I know we could be good together but I feel like he has a lot of emotional immaturity issues he needs to work through. You have major insecurity issues which you need to work on and this guy my come back or not but don’t let him deal you power of being a functioning human being. I agree that men pull away due to fear of the emotional bond that you are creating inside them.. He was only interested in getting you into bed, and then he had no use for you once he got what he was looking for. You need to have respect for yourself and understand that you do not deserve this kind of treatment, ever, no matter what!
But you need to protect yourself from the guys out there who only pursue you to get you into bed. From time to time, they need to pull back and get the space to know that they are not losing their freedom and their identities.
Taking it personally and questioning why men pull away will only make you feel more hurt and angry.
In woman, this hormone reduces stress, but for a man, it actually lowers his testosterone levels which can then increase stress. You want to give him his space and keep the tension in the rubber band so that he eventually snaps back and becomes close to you again.
If you give him his space during those times when he needs to feel his freedom again, he is going to feel supported and comfortable enough to come back to you.
You need to have a life of your own too, so hang out with your friends, catch up on some reading, and just enjoy being you. Thought everything would be perfect when this year we finally decided to file divorce both sides.
We became best of friends and we call our relationship as the right love in the wrong time. At this stage my marriage is totally over and was when he got into the picture and we moved too fast. Not implying anything but, if you have requested things from him, he may have seen this as demands and imposed threats to his independence (subconsciously) and isn’t mature enough to know how to properly deal with it. Yes he is gone, it might be a result of your action (not implying anything, deep down, only you would know) but even so, you deserve better! I also have seen that letting them have too much space, will also teach them that you are content with being alone and waiting for him to come back when he feels like it. He would be confused as well in the beginning, but naturally he will move on from you when he realizes feelings are not reciprocated. You may never know why he decided you are not for him, and actually it does not really matter – just take the signals and move on gracefully, with dignity. In order for that instinct to get fulfilled, you need to hold back and let them pursue you.
Men sometimes need to spend time apart from you so they can miss you and remember why they loved spending time with you in the first place. A man is supposed to care for, protect and put his woman on pedestals- needing space is selfish and childish and 100% counterproductive-exactly what is wrong with this new generation of men.
We had so many plans and dreams, we even never used to fight anymore unlike during our first year. I’m thinking is it possible to allow mysellf to be let down by the same guy and it really feels like high school all over again.
Tell your friends quite honestly you have no idea why he suddenly went cold, but that you don’t have time to waste to try and figure it out and that you are ready to go out and live life to the fullest! You do not need a man to complete you, so just roll with the punches and do not take it personally when your man needs a little space.
When you act like you don’t need them and live your life they will fall at your feet and chase you around like a lost puppy dog. Too much space is saying, I’m OK with being your doormat, and you can disrespect me anytime you want to.
The 3rd pull away was the day after Valentines day after spending an amazing weekend together. My parents have been together 28 years and sure they have had their differences and arugements but they ALWAYS communicate and let each other know what is going on. There has to be some out there who are just happy to commit and communicate without all this drama!!! As women, we tend to think, value and believe certain things that are different to what a man would tend to think, value and believe.See, what’s intuitive to us women, can be completely foreign to men. But right when things started to get better, the news changed everything when he said it wouldn’t. Round 4, right now, started this past Sunday after spending 4 nights out of the last week with him. A month later, now in December, we still haven’t take care of our situation due to the lack of money.


We talked about things in his family life that had us both in tears and the closeness seemed unbelievable. Two nights later he told me he knew how I felt about him and I agreed and told him I didn’t want to talk about that anymore.
He never wants to hang out unless I ask him, doesn’t call or text, he avoids and ignores me. He did not contact me the whole time he was there but time he got back he texted me and let me know he was home.
To be fair, this has happened to him once already, and it was the reason to why his relationship at that moment failed. If you don’t understand it, and you DON’T know how to deal with it, it could lead to your man withdrawing even more, it could lead to your man resenting you, and of course, in the worst case scenario, it could lead to break up or divorce. I know that he lost his job right before his Dad’s surgery, he is facing the possibility of losing a toe because of Diabetes. If you know how to deal with it, your relationship will run much more smoothly for you, and even better – you’ll be able to inspire your man to commit even more of his attention and time to you.
He is worried that his Dad could die at any minute and that his Dad’s new wife could take everything that his Dad has and he would get nothing. Find out here.So, Why do Men Pull Away from the Relationship?To help you understand why, let me ask you a few questions:How would you feel if you were around a man who was highly emotional? I keep telling myself he is probably scared because he does realize he cares for me but then my crazy female mind starts thinking maybe there is someone else. Imagine him being incredibly relaxed and wanting to talk and connect with you all the time.How would you feel around a man like this?You may think ‘oh my goodness – I would LOVE if my man would do this!’Yes, you may – for a couple of days at best. But eventually, whether you like it or not – you would start to feel a little uneasy, a little uncomfortable, and you’ll start to lose attraction for him.
You don’t want your man to be like one of your girlfriends!In fact, the reason you were attracted to a man in the first place was largely to do with the masculine energy he gave out. Then men will tend to want to pull away in order to rebuild their testosterone levels.At that point this creates a lot of confusion for women, where they often will say things like, “why are you pulling away?
Often, if a man is telling you that he’s not ready to commit, what he’s really saying is that he’s afraid of being drawn in to you – he’s attracted by you – but he feels like it’s going to put restraints on his freedom or make him feel like he’s not able to have his own life.So, with this understanding now, I want you to go away, and the next time you feel him withdrawing, just stop. Instead of feeling like his withdrawal from you is something to fear, think of his need for freedom as a gift to you. And that is one of the reasons you were attracted to him in the first place.It’s time you realized (as counter-intuitive as it is to us women) that a man’s need for freedom is only a threat to us IF we don’t WANT him to have his freedom. However, before you do this, I want you to remember that the point is not to just leave him and let him be. After all you wouldn’t like it very much if he wasn’t much of a man!2)      And when he does comes back to the relationship, receive him openly with love. This doesn’t make you a loser, it doesn’t make you’re a woman who is being used by her man. Or do I want to be in a relationship with a MAN?”Because as much as him withdrawing drives you crazy – he simply doesn’t feel and interpret the withdrawal the way YOU do. I think not.So when he withdraws, and then comes back, and you act all snooty and withdraw your love, he’ll be thinking: ‘what?!
Click here for the registration page. Alright, please leave a comment below and share with us your personal experiences and what you’ve learned. I think I understand why the guy I’m dating is pulling away, as we were very close at the weekend and I could kinda feel that it was too much for him even though he was enjoying it. His career requires a lot of his time that it’s very unpredictable when he can go home everyday.
He often tells me that he hasn’t been this much open to anyone, that he never thought he can be this close so quickly because he never had a real connection since 8 years ago.
This weekend Friday we had a great date, I went to work the next day then called him to see if he wants to hang out again… He asked if he could take this weekend to himself to get back to his own space. Hes been going through a rough patch in his life and he used to talk to me and come to me for help but not anymore. He pulls away and tells me he loves me but i would think you would go to someone you love for comfort instead of pulling away, guys are so confusing. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party.
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