How do I tell a guy I’m not interested and just want to be friends without hurting his ego?
How do I tell a guy I’m not interested, and just want to be friends without hurting his ego?
Feelings are a sensitive thing, and we are not responsible for how someone chooses to react to not getting what they want. Now imagine more vulnerable feelings, ones that make you feel exposed, like when you express you like someone for the first time. I used one of my favorite approaches when a really cute and fun guy, who I would have considered dating if he was looking for a real relationship, tried to make a move on me. We also consulted with couple’s counselor, Jeff Wright on this topic, and he offered the following wisdom: “You are assuming that not hurting his ego is your problem.
How can I make sure I’m not staying with someone who isn’t bringing out my best self?
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Check out this question from a reader I’ve renamed Andie Walsh, after the protagonist in Pretty in Pink.
People keep suggesting that I should pretend to be less awesome than I really am (honestly, I think I am pretty awesome.
What would you suggest for an introvert who is burned out from investing in meeting new people over and over and is getting increasingly frustrated with it never going anywhere?


If I was trying to meet someone to date or work with and it turns out that the person was pretty cool but isn’t going to work out as a boyfriend or business partner, I kind of feel like I just ran a marathon to support the wrong charity. Kitestring is a way to make sure your friends can have your your back in a simple, stress-free way.
That being said, we want to do our best to take measures to protect ourselves, and be kind. Sometimes making some careful comments about your feelings for him before he has a chance to make his move helps minimize embarrassment. Getting turned down by a girl you are interested in romantically is never easy to take … but it is an honest result. I’m 32, so this feels like a big deal, especially as I am also losing all my friends because they are becoming couply and can’t relate to single people any more. I even have a mint-green dress with walruses on it) and refrain from talking about subjects that guys find interesting in order to avoid being intimidating, but I really don’t feel comfortable with that – in fact, I feel offended that people would think that was something I would have to do as a woman. How can I weed out these time-wasters who are clearly only interested in getting laid, but are also clever enough to not be upfront about that?
Personally I could care less if someones a scientist or works in a supermarket or if they’re, cool, trendy, opinionated or particularly smart for that matter.
I think the value of simply being a nice person is a vastly under rated quality among women. Use of the web site constitues acceptance of the Defy Media Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. A man realizes that if he hopes for anything romantic to evolve between you two, he’ll likely need to make the first move (We encourage you to make the first move if you feel like it. He didn’t have to feel rejected, and I didn’t have to feel exposed or go along with anything that I did not truly want. Even if the people turn out to be awesome, I still feel like I’ve just donated blood, slipped back into the line, and donated blood again. In my personal case I like arty, smart types but simply being nice trumps those other two by a hundred fold.


They value independence, respect, strength and somehow see niceness as a weakness or at the very least as compromise to men. I do hope she’ll take some of your advice into consideration and lands herself a good man.
Sorta like i imagine employed and not living at home might beat the top of a woman’s list. You see someone you were friendly with in biology class, and you’re hoping she’ll choose to sit next to you, but instead she sits at another table. We were not saying no to one another, we were saying no to the terms, which is way less personal. A lot of the guys I seem to attract are under-confident, overweight computer game geeks who come across okay in writing but in person want to treat me to monologues on Game of Thrones and so I’m fine with not seeing them again, but I do occasionally meet what seem to be genuinely nice, interesting men.
Shouldn’t we be focusing our efforts on getting education for girls in developing countries and stopping things like child brides and genital mutilation? In that case feel free to keep banging your head against the wall while basking in your righteous superiority of how awesome you are. And think you’re so kind, fun, cute but I want to keep our relationship platonic.” You may get a “why?” And you can choose how much or how little you want to say. Ego’s heal themselves relatively efficiently … It’s your responsibility to be true and clear.
And having been that girl who would meet someone and talk nonsense and sleep with them the next day, I can say from experience that approach also didn’t lead to lasting, meaningful relationships. What we want to avoid is taking the assumed meaning and context we’ve created in our head and acting on it like it is fact.



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