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Recipe BoxYou must be logged in to view your bookmarks.Submit Your RecipeOpen up that imagination, check out your grandma’s recipe cards, taste test an idea and send the recipe into War Eagle Mill. We did our own research into the lexical world of VAGINA, and this produced some interesting results. The fact that Republicans are trying to legislate something they are unwilling to even say adds extra layers of hilarity to VAGINAgate. In a world conspicuously devoid of adverts for wiener cleaner, it’s a bit disconcerting to see ‘Woo hoo for my froo froo!’ posted on the side of telephone boxes throughout the country.
Such terms are perhaps just about acceptable when you have a little girl with a tricycle injury and don’t want her uttering the C-bomb.
The problem with euphemising the term ‘VAGINA’ is that it takes serious discussion of them off to the menu. Of course, the implication that you can’t really love your VAGINA unless you use a certain product is deeply impertinent.
Until they finally realised that it annihilated everything good inside your flange, douching that made you smell detergent-like was an incredibly popular activity, promoted mostly by VAGINA-haters in the US. In light of this, it’s of utmost importance that you learn to call your VAGINA what it is, and furthermore, accept it in its natural state.
Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter are co-founders and editors of online magazine, The Vagenda.
On the one hand, Corbyn’s arch critics are suggesting that Labour should pick up 400 council seats if it is to be on a trajectory to take back power in 2020. As for Scotland, no-one in Labour wants to make averting disaster north of the border a condition for remaining in place at the top of the party, while Corbyn’s critics will take the flack for the losses, rather than the leader. But enough about the internal party politics – what would be a “good night” psephologically-speaking?
But there are two complicating factors this time that make putting an exact figure on how many seat gains would be a good figure. My hunch is that fightback isn’t as impressive as it seems.  The Liberal Democrats have benefited from having some popular MPs, whose local followings weren’t quite big enough to save their seats but are still large, opting to fight council seats. My guess is that the same will happen this time – but if I’m not, and the Liberal Democrats are once again benefiting from being an opposition party, that will also distort what constitutes a “good night” for Labour.
Perhaps because our VAGINAS, especially those of our American sisters are, much like Stalingrad, increasingly under siege (Stalingrad is another euphemism for VAGINA).
The feminist backlash to the suggestion of transvaginal probes involved women inundating Senator Ryan McDoogle’s Facebook page with detailed information about their lady bits. From the Inga Muscio classic Cunt: A Declaration of Independence to Dr Catherine Blackledge’s The Story of V, to Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, women have been trying to wrestle their vaginas out of male hands and away from male terms which don’t belong to us for ages now.


Half the population carry them around in their pants without freaking out, yet if VAGINAS were supposed to complement the saccharine, flower-gathering view of everyday women by smelling like a lavender patch, they would. VAGINAS are a wonderful arrangement of flaps capable of the most magnificent things, just as God, in Her infinite wisdom, intended. It’s the question that I get asked more often than any other when going through the responses for the “You Ask Us” section of our podcast. On the other, the Labour leadership argues that what they need to do is show improvement on last year’s general election defeat, when the party trailed the Conservatives by close to seven points. So far, his internal enemies have yet to find a dividing line with their leader that harms Corbyn more than them: all that members know about Corbyn’s would-be successors is that they like Trident, bombing Syria, and Big Macs.
Although not all Corbynsceptic MPs are strong pro-Europeans, enough are – one recently told me that a Brexit would result in “economic crisis – that no coup attempt is going to get started until the referendum is out of the way. What would mean that Corbyn was not just safe as Labour leader but on course to be defeat David Cameron in the polls?
Yes, there is still plenty of room for gains – Labour still has fewer council seats than it did in 2006, when it had gone through nine local elections in government, suffering the usual losses that the governing party has gone through with the exceptions of 1982 and 1985, both of which preceded landslide victories – and when the unpopularity of Tony Blair and the Iraq war were both at their height.
Even when the Conservative Party was trying to get rid of Iain Duncan Smith, it gained seats in opposition. The first is Ukip, who weren’t a force, either organisationally or politically, when these seats were last fought. If you are on Twitter you may have seen Liberal Democrats getting very excited about the #libdemfightback, a series of impressive council by-election performances since the party escaped the twin taint of being in coalition with the Conservatives and having Nick Clegg as leader. State representative Lisa Brown hilariously offended some Republicans last week when she had the temerity to utter the word during a ridiculously euphemistic debate about female contraception and abortion. The fact that ‘VAGINA’ is back with a vengeance can only be good in the face of patronising advertising such as the below, from a well-known feminine hygiene brand that we don’t care to publicise here.
Celebrating because you got the right product to make your natural VAGINA less disgusting: not exactly the passive aggressive message we relish.
The potential for hilarity (pastrami curtains, anyone?) has been eschewed in favour of prudishness. How on earth are we supposed to retain possession of them if we can’t even call them what they are? Lisa Brown being banned from saying "vagina", it's no wonder America were at the forefront (pun intended) of fanny denial. Once you do that, you’ll realise that anyone who says otherwise is most likely a DOUCHEBAG. Should the referendum be lost, it will be Cameron, not Corbyn, who faces a coup, and if it is won, at least some of the plaudits will go to Corbyn, who will play a bigger role in the referendum campaign after the local elections are past. When the Labour party was on the cusp of splitting into two parties in 1981, it gained seats in opposition.


Eastleigh, of course, was lost and lost badly in the general election when resources were spread more thinly. So look at how Labour does in its own marginals and in places that are Conservative at a Westminster level, rather than worrying about an exact figure either way.
We encountered two Italian exchange students who told us that the standard slang term for down there in Italy is ‘potato’ - a visual we’re finding it slightly difficult to get our heads around.
They suggest a variety of terms, ranging from ‘mini’ to ‘twinkle’ to ‘hoo ha’, before uttering the immortal tagline ‘whatever you call it, make sure you love it.’ VOM. The whole ‘froo froo’ shebang has led to an internet-wide speculation on how you should refer to your lady parts - with equally cutesy results. Fundamentalist Christians are no better, as the online post ’51 Christian Friendly Terms For VAGINA’, which jokingly suggests such legends as ‘sin bucket’, ‘devil sponge’ and ‘neighbour of anus’, goes to show. Which is why it is of utmost importance that, if you can bring yourself to do it, you stop referring to your ‘la-la’ and start using the proper anatomical terminology.
Pussy polishers that claim to say woo woo to your frou frou are just the natural extension of douching, which should have died a death before we even knew they did more harm than good. Should Zac Goldsmith pull off a shock victory, many Labour MPs, and more importantly, Corbyn’s power base in the membership, will blame Goldsmith’s campaign, not Khan or Corbyn. Without wishing to upset any local councillors who might be reading, people don’t really take local government all that seriously and use it as an opportunity to kick the incumbent government.
A schoolgirl, meanwhile, insisted that her mother referred to it as her ‘fairy’, which is just begging for years of psychoanalysis later in life when she realises that at the same age, she believed that a fairy took her teeth in exchange for money.
The same happened to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who since deleting the posts became the lucky recipient of oodles of hand-knitted and crocheted VAGINAS. We wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that you inundate the Facebook page of that ‘feminine hygiene product’ (read: vagina perfume) with ‘VULVA’ posts, but here’s the link and a labelled diagram of the general area. Shout it from your office cubicle, your freelancer’s Starbucks table, your library cubby hole (also a euphemism for VAGINA).
Finally - the mystery of where those milk teeth disappear to is solved (and with it, the origins of the possibly mythological disease ‘VAGINA dentata'). Then there was the viral video, ‘Republicans, Get in my VAGINA.’ VAGINAS are back, and they mean business.



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