02.12.2014

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We all hate the girl your boyfriend used to hook up with–but that’s only because she hates you, right? A long time ago on a Greek row far, far away, someone came up with the idea that all past girlfriends are bitter, jealous witches who are trying to ruin their ex-boyfriends’ perfect, fairytale endings of riding off into the sunset with a new girlfriend and a case of cold Natty Light.
When both our sororities attended the same party the next weekend, instead of channeling my inner Elsa and giving her one of my patented icy glares, I slyly found a way to introduce myself in order to thaw any tension. She takes pride in the fact that she is not the most heavily medicated sibling in her family. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Since the days of diapers, she has taken a strong stance against the evilness that is a pair of pants.


I’m not afraid to admit I use to imagine my boyfriend’s Serena van der Woodsen-lookalike ex spending her Friday nights stalking me on Facebook and plotting ways to ruin my life. After being dubbed a “wild child” when she was 5-years old because of single-handedly leading her entire kindergarten in a boycott against naps, she has tried to live up to the title by testing her parent’s (and Standards Chair's) limits ever since. So, of course, by the rules of feminism I spent my time talking shit about her and her ugly mauve Bid Day T-shirt. My first instinct was to hate this girl–her fake blonde highlights, her sorority, everything associated with her. Wait a second though–why did I think I was so freaking amazing that this random chick I’d never met before spent every waking moment of her time obsessing about me? Even if I had hated this girl, it was worth it to see my ex’s pale, ghost-white face when he saw us walking to the bar together.


As long as she’s not a psychotic slut who hasn’t realized their relationship ended, there are a lot of helpful hints you can learn from her past mistakes.
She’s the girl who needs to tell him that no, he should not go start a fight with the huge defensive end for our football team at the bar.



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