15.05.2015

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I mean, how great would it be (not!), if all we had to do to get a shag, ego stroke, shoulder to lean on, or even have someone declaring our love for us, was to send some text messages?
If your idea of breaking contact and reaching out and saying something meaningful is to send a text, you’re engaging in low level (low risk and low effort) contact but trying to pass it off as high effort. Texts are rarely a great effort unless they’re in the context of an already effort filled relationship.
If you had to say it to their face or pick up the phone and follow up with action, would you still say the same thing?
I’m doing a lot better in this past month focusing more on myself and nothing about the future or the past. I wish there was an article to let me know how different guys deal with a relationship that they dumped. He still got ignored, and has been until he finaly picked up the rest of his stuff from my house (foothold alert!).
Part of me suspects that he will ignore me on Xmas Day beacause he engaged me in that conversation, and as we all know, ANY scraps are validation to them, even neutral convos about dogs, and he thinks he now has the upper hand again.
OMG Nat were you sitting in the back seat of my car a little while ago when I got a text from my ex saying “Merry Christmas”? That sounds like something a strong, independent, and emotionally healthy woman would say!!! The other day I read an article from a national (maybe international too) magazine about a woman that had a love affair with a married man in her 20’s.
I swear that these guys who like to lecture 30-something women on how no good guys their age will want them (have heard that one more than once) are insecure knobs who like to feel in-charge at the expense of dashing another person’s hopes. High effort, is picking up the phone and arranging to meet, turning up, jumping on a plane etc. It’s great to get a thoughtful text from someone who is already thoughtful, that you have a great relationship with and communicate via other means.


If not, you have to ask why you would you feel it was acceptable to conduct your relationship by text? Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. I have not one, but two pre-emptive texts sitting in my drafts folder, just in case my ex sends one on Christmas Day. The pre-emptive texts have been deleted and his name had been changed in my phone as The Loser Ex. To get to class he has to down tools on the dot (he’s a boilermaker) and drive through awful roadworks and traffic jams to the class in my suburb, which on a good day is a 40min drive, and currently takes about an hour. I almost drove off the road as I rolled my eyes and almost peed my pants laughing at such juvenile behavior. Even picking up the phone and having a conversation and arranging to meet up (somewhere neutral ideally) to progress the conversation is a reasonably good effort. At least on the phone you can hear hesitation, change in tone, and face to face you can pick up on body language.
Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
Being completely ignored as if you didn’t exist = more hurtful than any words ever could be.
It’s classic how he still wants to prove himself as the winner, by coming to the classes even at an inconvenience (who would do that?).
And these classes roll on every 10 weeks, at all sorts of times and days, so he doesnt have to miss out.
They have no power, and you have to laugh when you see them trying to exert it..The joy of NC!! Hope you’re having a wonderful holiday and thank goodness for no more wheel spinning!


Of course, for many of you reliant on text messages, the sad reality is that if you stopped texting, there wouldn’t be much or anything going on. Did he cancel or change the cooking class to one where he didnt have to bust a gut after work to get to?
Each day I get stronger and remember that he tried to break me, but I’m Still Standing!!! When you see what level of energy we’re prepared to put into a text, you can easily see how we end up on crumb diets. I am hoping to hold my ground of NC and taking the opportunity to make a New Years resolution of NO MORE MR. I am almost certain that both of these individuals like the sense that there was this impossible love in their lives, something out of reach, that there was, then, this reason that their REAL life was never truly satisfying. When you start loving yourself (thanks for all the help Nat), you will start to DEMAND more. Colouro, what is clear to me is that they didn’t actually get together because it would have ruined the story for them. This incident was off the back of three guys telling me on separate occasions that I had no chance of meeting a good guy for me now that I am in my 30s, that I’d have to go for mid-forties or mid-twenties.
I am not going to take this on as I think it’s bull, but just made the night even more off-putting. And how would it change the fact that he, like the MM in this story, only gave me a serving of relationship slop when he had the chance? Why string shit out 30+ years just to see how you’re doing now and possibly exchange some emails.



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Comments to Ex text me happy christmas quotes

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  2. Tenha_qizcigaz — 15.05.2015 at 16:50:12 After which she actually freaked out, however and telling her I wanted, yet once your ex girlfriend.