05.03.2016

Get ex girlfriend back long distance relationship work,how to get a girlfriend xbox 720,how to get back your ex girlfriend who hates you all,how to get a man back into your life - Reviews

Yesterday something happened on EGR (Ex Girlfriend Recovery) that has never happened before.
70% of the men that commented who were trying to get their girlfriends back were doing so from a failed long distance relationship. In other words, I am going to make this the most helpful guide on LDR (long distance relationship) ex girlfriends in existence. I suppose I should start by acknowledging my own experience in a long distance relationship.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?
Now, you may be kind of creeped out that I actually remember the dates of my long distance relationship but I assure you there is a reason I remember it. Anyways, my point in telling you this is that I know a thing or two about what it takes to make an LDR work because I have been there in the trenches. You see, out of all the situations I have seen when it comes to relationships an LDR by far has the most hurdles to overcome and it takes not one but two special people to work together to overcome them. Yes, that means that in order to make this entire thing work your ex girlfriend has to be as intense as you about the two of you ending up together but more on that later.
The obvious hurdle in the way is the distance but I am looking for something a little deeper than that.
In all my years doing this I have never once heard of a situation in which a couple stays together forever in a LDR. Ok, imagine that you and your ex girlfriend are still dating and are still in a long distance relationship. First Way- A breakup occurs where the the couple mutually agrees or someone in the couple no longer wants to continue. Obviously you are here because your long distance relationship ended in a breakup and you would have much rather of had it end the second more pleasant way.
Above I said I was in a LDR for five months and while my LDR did end it ended with me killing the distance and winding up with the woman I wanted. And if you have read this far down the page that tells me that you had a long distance relationship that was unsuccessful and you are trying to get it back. What we have here (when we compare your LDR to mine) are two long distance relationships that both ended but ended in very different ways. What probably separated my experience from yours was the fact that I went into my LDR with a plan. It took five months to see that plan through but we did and as a result we had a successful LDR. We didn’t do what so many other couples out there do with just getting into a long distance relationship without defining future plans.
You are obviously here because you and your ex girlfriend broke up and you want to learn how to get her back. It takes a very special type of person to make a long distance relationship work and as much as this pains me to say, it could be entirely possible that you don’t have what it takes to make it.
You see, if you are really in love with someone but you can’t see them then you are going to be prone to a little jealousy. Lets say that you are still dating your ex girlfriend and are still in a long distance relationship with her. This is a completely normal situation to get jealous in and to be honest I wouldn’t really blame you for getting jealous.
And basically alienate your girlfriend causing the two of you to have more than just distance on your mind. Your girlfriend is really struggling without you and having just a friendly lunch with an old friend makes her feel a little bit better about everything. Above I said that if you want your long distance relationship to work you need to formulate a plan in which the two of you will end up together permanently. Assuming you have done that then that means you are going to have to be patient until the time comes for that plan to come to fruition. Well, when I think back to that time the thing I remember most about it was the loneliness and the impatience I felt. My (then) girlfriend and I had worked out a deal where we would see each other once every single month until we moved in together.
There are two things that you need to have in order to realistically have a shot of making a long distance relationship work. Scenario 1- You and your girlfriend are both 18 years old, in high school and she has just moved two states away. Scenario 2- You and your girlfriend are both 30 years old, in a long distance relationship and both have jobs where you work A LOT and can’t get time off to see each other.
I have some bad news for the younger (high school) readers here who are in a long distance relationship. Really for a LDR to work out you have to find a more permanent solution and that usually requires someone to move to the other person.
Lets say that you and your girlfriend talk it over and the both of you decide that you should be the one to move to her. In case you have forgotten scenario two consists of both you and your girlfriend being around 30 years old, in a long distance relationship and you both have established jobs but not a lot of time.
If you have a well paying job then you probably have to work a lot of hours (I am from the U.S.
Above I established that if you are in a long distance relationship then you should at least be seeing your significant other once a month. The obvious work around is to find a permanent solution where both of you can see each other every day but then you are faced with another problem. Oh, and lets not forget that no man or woman wants to take that big of a risk without re-assurance that the relationship is going to be worth it and they won’t be made a fool of.
If you don’t have the means (time, money) to make a LDR work then your chances of winning your ex back really decrease.
Now that we have that out of the way lets take a look at some of the other challenges with long distance relationships. Here’s the thing though, all of her friends are single and as she goes out to the bar with her friends she gets hit on and her friends are encouraging her. You will find that thoughts like this constantly creep in when you are in a long distance relationship. I mean, any mention of another male that isn’t you will have you thinking like this and it is so easy to grow irritable and start a fight with your girlfriend over nothing because of it. In fact, so many people have this problem in long distance relationships that entire breakups occur just because someone was paranoid. Long distance relationships don’t really do anything for our libidos needs now do they? Heck, you can’t even hold hands or hug your girlfriend if you really wanted to and sex, well lets just say sex is off the table for a while.
Below I have created a graphic for you outlining what I consider to be the best way to increase your chances of getting your LDR girlfriend back.
Avid readers of this site will notice that when you look at the long distance plan there isn’t too much that differs from the general plan I teach on Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO except for a few things. It just so happens that those few things change the plan drastically so don’t be fooled.
Like always, I am going to be covering each of the seven steps outlined in the game plan above in a very in-depth manner so if anything is confusing to you right now try not to jump off the ship yet. You remember the “Hell List” above in which I talked about what it takes to make a long distance relationship work? Well, if you really want to increase your chances of getting your long distance relationship love life back on track then its a really good idea for you to determine if you even have a realistic shot of winning your ex back. Lets say that you are a high school kid who is 18 years old and your girlfriend just moved a few states away. Lets make another assumption and say that you do manage to win your ex girlfriend back by following steps two to seven from the game plan above (and the game plan above has been tested and proven to work.) Well, you are still young and it could be years before either you or your girlfriend could move to each other.
In other words, history will probably repeat itself if you don’t have what it takes to make things work. Now, I don’t know about you but what I am going for here is to prevent history from repeating itself. I know you are hurting right now as a result of this breakup but you know the only thing that will hurt more than the feeling you are feeling now. Doing all the work I outline above, getting your girlfriend back and then having her break up with you again. Seriously, if you feel like you can’t make a relationship with her work long term then what’s the point of even trying to get her back? So, don’t waste your precious time getting a girl back just so you can wind up hurt by another break up again. Of course, what do you do if you determine that not only can you get your ex girlfriend back but you can keep her when you have her back? If you really believe that you can get her back and find a permanent solution where you can kill the distance then you have my blessing to move forward with the game plan above. Seriously though, I really want you to be sure about this because once you get started on this game plan it is going to take dedication on your part and you are going to have to answer a lot of hard questions and overcome a lot of hard obstacles. Avid readers of Ex Girlfriend Recovery will know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule.
Heck, I even think an argument can be made that no contact is even more effective in long distance relationship. If you truly have a LDR with your girlfriend then that means that you probably don’t see each other in person that often. So, that means that you and your girlfriend were both constantly checking your phones to see if the other responded to a message, Skype call or phone call yet. The No Contact Rule- A designated period of time where you completely ignore your ex in every form imaginable. Well, when you do use the no contact rule on an ex girlfriend who you had a long distance relationship with then the chances that she will be constantly checking her phone waiting for a response from you is actually pretty high. Your ex girlfriend on the other hand is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response. And again, your ex girlfriend is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response from you. Most men make the mistake of believing that all they have to do to get their girlfriend back is make it through a period of no contact and their girlfriend will magically come running back. The Gatsby Method is an idea I came up with that describes what you are supposed to be doing during your period of no contact.
During your no contact period away from your ex girlfriend it is your job to improve in every way imaginable as much as you can.
The idea is that by the time you attempt to get your girlfriend back you are going to be a new man… a more attractive man in every way. It is a legitimate question to ask because it is not outside the realm of possibility that your ex girlfriend can move on during the no contact rule. Well, what I would recommend for those of you who are deathly afraid of your girlfriend moving on is to use indirect methods of reaching her.
An indirect method of reaching your ex girlfriend DOESN’T mean you pick up your phone and shoot her a text or call. Through the use of social media, mutual friends and jealousy tactics you can ensure that you can stay on her mind. Imagine your ex girlfriend logs on to Facebook one day and out of curiosity stumbles across your profile. When she goes to your profile she is filled with anger, sadness and a bit of regret as she notices that you are having the time of your life with her. Please turn your attention to this article in which I teach you the proper way to use Facebook to improve your odds of getting her back. Well, in my experience your ex girlfriend is eventually going to ask a mutual friend how you are doing if you are doing the no contact rule. I have found that the best way to approach this is to tell your friends to tell your ex that you seem to be doing fine and that you aren’t talking to them too much about the breakup. What I mean by that is that jealousy methods can work for you or they can work against you. If you are starting a fire and you know exactly how to tame it then a fire can have a lot of uses. Well, in step five we are going to be focusing on how you can use text messages to lightly re-build attraction with your girlfriend. As a little kid they scared me to death but as I grew to be older I fell in love with them. Ok, horrible joke aside I want you to implement something called roller coaster theory for when you do contact your ex girlfriend. Well, it is something I originally came up when I was working on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery. I was daydreaming one day about riding roller coasters and how much fun it used to be back in the good ole days and I made a very interesting connection between roller coasters and texting.
I have to keep you guys interested in exploring my site or grabbing my e-book somehow so I can’t give you the keys to the kingdom all the time. Anyways, once you have build enough attraction with your ex you can turn your attention to building attraction through a phone call and skype.
Of course, there is an interesting little secret I am going to let you in on when you meet up with her in person again.
I mean, a non threatening meet up after you have built enough attraction is a great way to further build attraction and get a step closer to getting a girl back. No, you might actually have to travel halfway across the country or even to a different country just to see her.
Oh, and I volunteered you as the one to go out to see her because women love to feel romanced or like a man is willing to go to the ends of the earth for her so lets give her this to further cement your importance to her. So, the idea here is that you build up a ton of attraction through texts, phone calls and FaceTime or Skype and there is no way she can so no to someone traveling just to see her! Lets just assume that you did your job right and built up enough attraction and she says yes to a meet up. Do you understand the significance of a long distance ex girlfriend say yes to you traveling to see just her?
Your ex boyfriend who you still have feelings for has just told you that he is going to travel across the country to see you.
Once you have your ex girlfriend saying yes to a meet up like this then the cat is pretty much in the bag.
The probability of her saying yes when you do ask her to be your girlfriend again is very high. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back.
I have multiple tasks to accomplish looking at my situation, I was in a LDR and she dumped me for another guy, now the friend zone she has me in and I want her back it almost sounds nuts to even attempt such a complex situation. Then about two weeks after that day I contacted her because I noticed she deleted me off of social media & I was confused, but I didn’t text her for that reason only just to ask her how things have been going lately she replied but after we talked a little she had to go because she did have a legit family concern. Slowly she deleted me off other social media sites & it got me very confused as to why She did that. So yesteday she actually texted me kind of what I said the day after we Broke up it was a family concern, because she knew I cared what’s going on with it & she really appreciates that I do care. Im not sure if I should be the one to text her next be cause she did text me the next day, I really do want to ask her to catch up and get coffee & just talk, just to see how everything going, but I don’t want to seem weird or awkward when asking her that. But as of now it’s been around 2 weeks since we haven’t talked do you think its best for her to text me or should I try to text her back to start the conversation? Hey Chris, me and my long distance girlfriend broke up about 2 weeks ago, I’ve done no contact from the start, is it a bad sign if she hasn’t even tried to contact me so far? Anyways, Leslie has recently gotten out of a long distance relationship and is wondering what to do if her ex boyfriend has gotten a new girlfriend. Her boyfriend called her up one day and said he had an unresolved relationship he had to deal with. Do You Really Want Him BackWant to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? The first thing that I think Leslie should consider is whether or not she really wants her ex boyfriend back.
I talk a lot about this in the episode and I even state that I think in Leslie’s case that she should move on. If Leslie does a lot of soul searching and determines that she does want her ex back then I think it’s a good idea for her to re-implement the no contact rule. I am talking about the type of hook that makes an ex want you more than the girl he is currently dating. When he called the next day, he confessed that it was an ex-girlfriend who he was engaged to two years ago. The first thing I would say to you and the listeners is that you need to have an overlying plan when you are in a long-distance relationship.
The overlying advice I’m going to give you if you do end up getting him back, Leslie, is that you need to work out some sort of plan with him. The only way that this can work is if both of you are putting in the same amount of effort. But the one thing that I’m going to leave you with today, Leslie, is that men always want what they can’t have. Personally, if I were in his position, I would not want someone back who broke off an engagement. The other knowledge I want you to obtain, Leslie, is the fact that men always want to do what’s best for them in their relationship lives. If you strip getting your ex-boyfriend back down to the core, it’s almost like you have to figure out what your ex-boyfriend wants in a relationship and what benefits him the most. Everything that I teach is structured around this idea that you’re hitting all these emotional hot spots. I think the very first thing you should do is determine whether or not he is worth your time. I think you could make the case and say that women are more visual when it comes to detail-oriented things. If you’ve determined that you want him back, the thing I want you to do next is to find your hook. If this woman were to try to get her ex-boyfriend back, she would definitely leverage these hugs.
I recently wrote an article on how to properly talk to a man when you’re on the phone with him.
That’s going to do it for me here at Ex-Boyfriend Recovery headquarters, which is essentially my home and desk. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
In a few months he will be flying to Australia and we had plans to work and plan for him to get me there with him.
He hasn’t contacted me at all during my NC, I am so afraid that he has completely forgotten about me already. He sent me almost daily messages and photos, often invited me to visit, we talked every couple of weeks and after 3 months I accepted an invitation to his home for the holidays.
Now I have left, he repeated he doesn’t have time for a relationship, but was keen to hear my thoughts. Hmm, I think you can do 30 day nc and refer to the first contact texts that Chris gave as an example here: Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules) and decide which onces you have more leverage with.
She has the advantage of being new, a whirlwind romance that could not be realised, she strokes his ego more than I ever could, plus lives in his home town (which he hates but does visit).
I have shared travel experiences, met his family and closest friends (pretty sure his mum likes me), plus he worked hard to win me over initially.
Before I go into the details of her situation I do want to say that often times I have no idea on whose question I am going to answer for the podcast. Other times I listen to each one very carefully one by one and pick out the situation that I think people would want to hear about the most. There was a lot of emotion in it and you could tell, just by listening that she wanted her ex boyfriend back. Welcome to the ex-boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve! I asked him originally if when he got home, if I can have a month or so to work it out and not to give up on us. Hey, I wanted to take a moment and thank you Morgan for having the courage to tell your story.
Today’s episode features a woman named Morgan who has a bit of a problem with her ex.
But, so basically what this men could do to get their exes back as soon as possible and kind of the game plan I came up with, shortened the strategy that I teach on both website significantly but still the shortest strategy was 30 days. Even as great as my advice may be and as many success stories as I have had over the last several years that I’ve been running these websites, even I can’t guarantee. Now, with that being said, if you’re willing to take a long approach, if you’re willing to accept, “Okay, I’m probably not going to get him back by 6 pm today but it doesn’t mean I’m out of the game.
Now, that post a serious issue because one, she would never take me seriously as a suitor because I live in Texas and Pennsylvania is pretty much like 1700 miles away. So, I pretty much would be there alone the entire time and all we had was a desk with my computer on it to work and a TV and I remember literally just staring at the clock hoping it would be 5 pm or 6 pm and she would come home because it was sort of like being in jail for a little bit because I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I think just maybe, at his age, because he’s a lot younger than I was, I think maybe 5 or 6 years younger total of when I’ve ended up moving. No contact rule is going to be essential for you but that’s pretty much essential for everyone but after that really everything follows the same strategy. Then the next step is building attraction through text messages and then next step is to build attraction  through phone calls or Skype or Facetime or video chats and then the third step is the in person dates. Well, if you don’t have a lot of money, you probably work at a job that doesn’t pay a lot and probably works you like a dog.
Now, if you knew a month ahead of time that you were going to meet you ex up at this certain date then the flights become a little bit more inexpensive which is kind of the strategy I would recommend for you to approach.
Now, let me tell you a little bit more about my personal experience with this method because I have actually done this method with my wife.
Maybe you can try to set up kind of a critical mass of attraction through text messages and phone calls where you kind of have this unspoken agreement where you’re not going to talk to other people when you set up this date maybe a month in advance or something. I had my wife’s family which now they are my real family because I married her but at that time it’s such a drastic difference because I didn’t have any friends besides my wife.
So, getting the human element, hearing people talk about their exes and how much they want them back and how hurt they are by the break up. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle.
There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful.
I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there. I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you.
That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this.
So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood. Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone. Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back.
Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right? I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.


Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back. Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that.
You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you.
So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point.
My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Look, the absolute worst place for anyone to be is in a relationship that is stagnant and isn’t going to move anywhere.
Now, a little jealousy here and there is ok but really what matters is how you handle the jealousy. Well, I can remember very clearly that all I would have to look forward to were those little meet ups once a month. While you probably do have plenty of time to dedicate to a relationship you don’t have enough money to make it work. I mean, if your girlfriend is living two states away then you can expect to pay a minimum of $150 in gas there and back. Well, if you work a lot then you are going to have to dip into your vacation days in order to make this possible but then you get into the fact that you only have a certain amount of vacation days to dip into.
Since you haven’t been around for a while she has been quite lonely and starts liking the attention.
So in other words, you have to actively work during no contact so you can maximize your chances of winning your girlfriend back.
No, rather there is a sneakier way to make sure that you stay on her mind throughout the no contact period.
When this does happen you want to make sure that he or she relays the information that you want your ex to know. But two months after the last time we talked I texted her saying hey it’s Cody just seeing how things are going for You, she responded back & she joked saying I didn’t delete you off my phone, haha. In the first year of our relationship she went through my phone and found Facebook messages of me talking to other women that I have known a long time inappropriately. Both never married or proposed too, nor have kids, both her and I are self-aware (as much as possible), logical thinkers and found we both stupidly over analyze random situations. Weeks go by and things are fine until it happens again, rinse, repeat with more questions of insecurity (bad move), getting worse from her and me. Today we’re going to be combining two very complicated situations—long distance relationships and what to do if your ex-boyfriend gets a new girlfriend. It seems like he just called you up out of the blue right before Thanksgiving and said, “Hey, I need to deal with this particular thing before I can have any commitment to you.” I know it really sucks. If you follow the advice that I’m going to lay out for you in this episode, you’re not going to be a backup plan. If you’re going to get into a long-distance relationship where one person is putting in all the effort and the other person isn’t doing anything, that’s going to create resentment.
I’ll link to it in the show notes in this episode and give you a brief summary of what it was about. Personally, if I were dating a girl, I was engaged to her and she broke off the engagement, I would not want to marry her. If he looks at you and says to himself, “Being with her will benefit me the most in a relationship,” then he’ll be with you. They bring these feelings out for him and make him think that you are the very best deal out there.
I would recommend moving on because there are other guys out there that you are probably not in a place to consider right now. She would make subtle references to them throughout her conversations with him, to make him remember.
I guarantee you that she would not have married me if I said, “I think about my ex-girlfriend all the time.
If you are interested in commenting on this episode or asking me a question, please feel free to comment on the show notes of this episode. I invested a future in this man, he promised to never cheat and he wanted a future with me.
In the fortnight leading up to my visit he was making plans but when I arrived told me he met someone new a week before. The other woman keeps posting on his facebook, he is not in the same place as either of us but I wonder if he messages her instead of me.
I also came across this and wondered if he is a love avoidant; it might also apply to some of the other cases. It’s like telling him one time that you like him and then not repeating again but making him want you by being mysterious and valuable. You’re right, maybe he is not that serious but she did within a week get him to commit (albeit he broke it off when I arrived), to meet with her for a talk when I was in town, and won’t let him go! If Chris has time, I would love his thoughts on my chances and by the way, I think you are wonderfully warm and kind in your replies, thank you so much! The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today.
First he agreed but then changed his mind in things that we cannot be fixed because there was nothing wrong with our relationship.
It just means I’m going to take a much different approach.” If you’re willing to accept that, I think I may have a game plan for you where you can be successful. So, my mindset at that time was a little bit more mature even though like I said, I was little naive and thought the move would be easy. It could be millions of different reasons but what I personally think from drawing upon my own personal experience is he felt maybe a little uncomfortable in this new area and didn’t really quite have the guts to stick it out and set his roots his down and kind of normalize and it certainly takes some time to get there but you will get there eventually if you stick it out. And I like to teach these three date method where you go on a smaller date then a medium date then on a romantic date but that’s where the long distance relationship strategy kind of alters a bit because getting a date with an ex who’s states away isn’t easy.
Build up a critical mass of attraction in the texting phase and phone call phase and then when you have the critical mass built, I want you both to set a date and stick to the date where you go out and get plane tickets maybe a month away until where the plane tickets are affordable and you’re not paying—dropping $700 to a $1000 on a plane ticket for a weekend where you see your ex, where you’re not even guaranteed to get them back. Ultimately getting him back is going to be contingent on getting either together in the same state or working out some sort of commitment where you have a deeper commitment like marriage or something but no matter how you slice or dice it, you’re going to have to get back on the same state so, maybe that means you have to be willing to move to him. I didn’t really know anyone again besides my wife and her family and I didn’t really have a support system to kind of fall back onto. I really tried to provide as much personal experience in everything as I could to your situation but if you’re asking my professional opinion as a relationship consultant. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to listen to me ramble on Morgan and all of you who are listening and listening to ramble on with Morgan, thank you so, so very much.
It’s good for me to help me understand you better and as a result, hopefully I can just continue to give good advice to everyone who wants it. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week.
If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers.
You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else.
I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it.
I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.
You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. In fact, we despised them so much that we formulated a plan to get rid of the distance as soon as possible.
Pretty soon one thing leads to another and she is drunk and making out with some random dude. So, my goal for this guide is to come up with a plan that you can follow to increase your chances for success. I am 54 she is 51 and at this age I am not sure if some of these tactic’s are implemented for us old codgers. So does that means she cares still even though she said she lost the romantic feeling with us when we broke up? Additionally we are both in sales, meeting in November (slow season) I meet her mom for Thanksgiving (father died).
We agree this distance is killing us and I agree to transfer there in the next 3 months and make a plan. Nevertheless, I still want to help her get him back so that is why there is more to the game plan than just that. I live in Georgia and I’ve been having a long-distance relationship with a guy in Colorado since last August. I had a successful long-distance relationship, in that I met my wife and we were long distance for five or six years. I’m fairly certain that, in that episode, I don’t believe that the guy in the long-distance couple that broke up found a new girlfriend. What I’m trying to explain is the roller coaster effect that this girl has on him that you do not.
Since you’re long distance, Leslie, I also recommend having a plan if you do get back together with him.
If I were to assign a percentage value on your chances of getting him back, I would assign a 10% chance. He probably is in the rough time with her but if he gets in a rough time with you, will he go back to her again?
We got really close, he said I had a lot of qualities he looks for in a woman, and joked about marrying me. He doesn’t want to keep me as a friend, but I asked him get in touch sometimes just to let me know he is ok.
Mysterious meaning, he knows you like him, but then you’re not all over him while making him attractive to you physically.
Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for.
If you could please give me any kind of advice before 6 o’ clock, that would be amazing but if that’s not. And we’re going to do everything we possibly can here in the ex recovery family to help you. So, I understand that this is may be hard for you to hear because I think everyone who can listen to this and everyone who can you know, hear your voice knows that you’re in a really emotional spot right now and I can just tell you really want him back. I’m just sort of the medium or the bridge between your mind and his mind and to what he may be thinking. So, the only way that we could make our relationship work is if I move to Pennsylvania and that’s what I ended up doing. I think I read somewhere that I don’t know, it takes like a year and a half to—maybe even like 3 years I read one time, to like settle down when you are in a new place. And you know, my wife and I we weren’t married at that time but then we got married and we had a baby and our life turned out really, really incredible but it wasn’t easy that move. Well, to be honest with you, I’ll just approach this like a long distance relationship breakup.
The in person meet ups are a much bigger deal when it comes to long distance relationships. You need to focus a lot of your time and effort into building attractions through those methods and then after you feel like you have built this critical mass of attraction, that’s when you push to meet up in either a neutral state or neutral place or you visit him or he visits you. If you have a job, you have to be willing to maybe take a vacation day or if you don’t have a job that’s great but that brings up to the next point, you need money.
We obviously were trying to meet up because we were in a relationship maybe 6 months before I moved in with her. You know, set up a date where you visit each other and you know—with a normal break up I often say well, the best way to do is there’s got to be three dates, the small date, the medium date and the romantic date. If he’s comfortable and you think you can undergo the physical and emotional stress of moving such a long distance and not knowing anyone and being alone in a certain extent, you’re going to have to try to take some of ‘those risks perhaps or you know it’s sort of a talk that you and your ex have to have when you get to that point but don’t ever talk about that until maybe you see him in person or you got him in the best possible mood you can possible get in and you’re far down the road in the ex recovery process. I think that’s a complete mistake because ultimatums never work and you are self imposing an ultimatum on you.
Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation.
You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it. Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read.
Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart. Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls. So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that.
I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean.
So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear.
She said the distance was getting hard, she needed her friends & family a little more (plus she had some family concerns going on as well) she said that she lost that romantic feeling that we had. These are specifically related to long-distance relationships, his particular situation with this girl and whether or not you should give up. Leslie’s situation is a little bit different than the last long-distance relationship episode that I did.
I’m saying that because, ideally, I think you want more serious relationships than other women asking questions want. He’s the guy that made the dress that turned on fire for her.” I thought, “Of course you would remember that.
When a man is sitting down and he looks at a woman, he’s going to think to himself, “How will dating her benefit me?” You need a hook.
Sometimes, women who don’t care as much about getting their exes back do extremely well when they’re trying to get their exes back.
When a guy is looking at this woman and brainstorming on how dating her will benefit him the most, he’s automatically going to think of the hugs. That will give you some “call game.” It covers how to speak to him on the phone, when to end the conversation, what to do and how to stand out from his current girlfriend. I suggested we stop thinking too far ahead and enjoy the present because I wasn’t sure what I wanted at that point. I am wondering if my NC gave the wrong signals (he did message to say hello three days back but I didn’t respond).
Wonder if NC was wrong for my situation, though suspect all I would have managed to do by staying in contact is leave him unable to decide between us.
We’re going to be talking about what to do if you find your ex boyfriend has become distant all of sudden.
If that’s too much notice, I understand but any help you could offer me would be so much appreciated. So, I guess, this is going to be kind of a unique episode because I’m going to be bringing a lot of my own personal experience to it because I feel like I can relate to your ex boyfriend on some levels but first things first, let’s talk about the 6 o’clock deadline.
You really care for him and like I said, we’re going to do everything we can to help you but the first thing that I want to try to encourage you to do is not rush this process. So, for your own peace of mind, just accept right now that he’s going to move back but that doesn’t mean that you’re helpless and that you can’t do anything about it. Now, I was maybe a little bit young and naive when I moved because I had just started to come into some success with the websites.
So, what I’m thinking could have happened with your ex boyfriend is that he moved from Missouri, is what you said I believe, to Kansas and the transition was tough for him and maybe you were the one positive part of that move because it takes a while for a human being to kind of sit down under a roof and feel comfortable right?
My wife is the only reason I probably got through it but your boyfriend on the other hand, maybe he just got scared a little bit. You can just text them up and say, “Hey, you want a cup of coffee?”, “Sure, let’s go get a cup of coffee.” Well, you can’t really do that if you’re ex is a state away.
Now, this poses a problem for a lot of people because I think a lot of the people, a lot of the women specifically who come to ex boyfriend recovery don’t exactly have a lot of money. I just felt like I was—just had my wife and that was it and it takes a while to build that stuff back up.
I would say try to get him back, take the long game—if you’re trying to get him back, sorry. I really appreciate what you’ve done for my websites because without you these websites wouldn’t exist. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back.
Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you.
I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him.
So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying.
Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past.
I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date.
As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for.
But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date.


The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue. I drive to see her this last time and she has become more distant but, we talk it through, still catching her gazing at me like her muse.
The weekend before, he texted me to tell me that there was something unresolved—an unresolved relationship he needed to deal with before we could make any commitments.
Then I’m going to give you a game plan revolving around that and how you should approach him and your life going forward. That’s about the time I was in a long-distance relationship when I moved from Texas to Pennsylvania to be with my wife.
That was scary because there was no guarantee that the relationship would work out at the time.
That had to do with clothes.” I would make the case that women are a bit more visually oriented than men when it comes to clothes or detail oriented things that men would not pay attention to. Let’s first get on good terms with him before you foray into coming up with a plan where the two of you end up together. If my wife and I did not have a fairytale relationship and she were to tell me, “I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend.
Everything was great until early March when SZ’s ex, RT, informed him that she was pregnant.
When the project ended, he wanted to keep in touch but without committing to a relationship.
There is yet another week before my 30 days are up but I feel it would be wrong to try and come between them if they are now together. He dropped the other girl within only a few hours of my arrival and independent of my involvement, so I thought she was not a real threat.
We’re going to be hearing from a woman name Morgan, who finds herself in a really interesting situation. I thought that was a great idea but when he got to Missouri, he started acting weird and distant. I don’t know what to do and I have until 6 o’clock tonight to find a way to influence him to not just leave and then at least hear me out. I know this podcast is geared towards women and women specifically on ex boyfriend recovery but ex boyfriend recovery isn’t the only website I own. I know it’s hard but trying to get him back in 2 hours and convince him to stop his entire plan of moving back from Kansas to Missouri is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible. So, maybe he latched onto you and you made him feel comfortable and then he went back to visit his parents and he felt their love and what it was like to be back home and you know he was thinking, “Man, this feels so great.” I don’t think it’s anything against you either Morgan.
You know, the answer is—the reason I think he may have potentially pulled something like this is because of the uncomfortableness of moving this big life change blah blah blah… We already got all that.
My wife and I just took a trip out to Florida to look for a house to buy and the trip to Florida was not inexpensive. It took me a good maybe two years before I felt like, “Okay, I feel like I’m kind of getting more at home here.” So, if you’re willing to take that kind of risk then I think you should maybe go full steam ahead with what I just tried to explain to you. I would say long distance relationships have the worst chance at success rates than some of the more general breakups just because of the distance can provide so many extra roadblocks to overcome. One of the things I liked about Morgan’s message was the fact that she kind of got choked up there at the end. Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it.
But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it.
Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book.
So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team.
Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much.
I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially.
I asked her if we can still keep in contact & continue to be friendsbecause we known each other for almost 3 years now, she said she was hoping we can still be. I told her I’m processing with the military at the moment & she said that she was surprised but she hopes I do well. Falling asleep on the phone for the past 5 weeks she says she’ll text me after class. I know a thing or two about long-distance relationships and what it takes to make them work.
There was a part where a character was being talked about who was not alive in the current movie. If you know you want him back, I want you to do another round of the 30 days of no contact. Now, three weeks after NC, she has been the one to benefit from his change of heart and my worst fear come true – I ended up being the catalyst! Now, he is telling me that he is not sure that he is in love with me anymore and he is returning to Kansas solely to get his stuff. Now, if you don’t want to take the long game, I completely understand but that’s what I’m going to encourage you to do. I thought I would move maybe from my parent’s house to an apartment, to a house and you know but all within Texas.
I remember when we first moved into our apartment in Pennsylvania, we had no furniture and you know I worked from home and my wife at the time worked for an enterprise, a rental car company. You may have been the perfect girlfriend but still like I said moving that long of a distance or moving and going through this drastic life changes can be really difficult on any human being not just your boyfriend or not just men in general.
That doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re talking about long distance relationships because and often times, especially if you’re states away, you almost get only one chance, one shot at goal.
That long distance way of getting your ex back Morgan but if you’re asking my personal opinion, I think if you can’t handle the fact that you’ll probably end up having to be the one to move to him in the end, I think maybe it might be time to just let him go and not think about it anymore. Not that I’m like kind of a dick about it like I like seeing people cry, I don’t but it makes me realize how serious people are about getting their exes back because sometimes I get a little removed from that. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back. You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course.
I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you.
Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. She tried to tell me but I blew it off.we broke up in September and of course I begged her back.
You don’t necessarily have to live together, although that seems to be the progression of things. Generally speaking, if engagements break off and come back on after this amount of time, it doesn’t bode well.
Now if you were to take that same exact girl he saw on the road but you put her 1,000 miles away, that same girl is not going to be as appealing to him as she would be if she were in person. Attempting to get this guy back—because there are not guarantees when it comes to this—will take time. We want to get this episode out as soon as possible for Morgan, so she can get the advice that she needs to get her ex boyfriend back.
I mean, I think on average this process can take between 45-60 days to get your ex back and for those who are listening who are just generally trying to get an ex back or just trying to get, I guess a boyfriend back in any situation you could think of. She was like a manager there and so she would go to work, probably like at 6 am every single day and then get back at 6 pm or 7 pm.
So, if you’re looking for reasons for why he may have broke up with you and why he maybe thinks you guys want different things out of life, it could be that he just doesn’t feel comfortable.
He is moving back to Missouri and you’re in Kansas, so you are basically, if you are going to try and get him back, it’s going to be like kind of a long distance relationship and as far as what to do with the long distance relationship. Well, I try to see her at least once every single month but that required planning on both our parts. You have to make your time with your ex as romantic as possible and you have to do a lot of things like leave him wanting more which is kind of a cool thing about long distance relationships. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you. So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife.
And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me. I went to the Dr in November and got my meds switched and became my happy go lucky self again. At the culmination of the engagement, when things were broken off, he immediately went down the hill. Because addiction runs in his family, SZ decided to leave Atlanta and attend rehab in Houston, and RT decided to end her pregnancy. So, on my other website, I actually ended up writing this really interesting article where I took kind of a mock situation where I was thinking, “Well, I’m constantly getting this questions about people who want to get their exes back as soon as possible.” And they rush through the entire process and more often than not, they fall flat on their faces.
We needed to make sure that she could get time off and that you know, I guess I had the money to do it. I guess one of the biggest positives is a lot of the time that you get together in person is super romantic. I’m not going to say it’s a great shot because I think him moving back to Kansas for you is not as likely and I don’t know how you feel about moving to Missouri and I feel like that’s a decision that you should come to on your own without any kind of prods or pushes from me. Not that my wife and I ever broke up but the long distance relationship itself is so difficult to manage that it feels like you’re going insane sometimes.
I’m thinking about, “Ok, if you do this, this and this it’s going to equal this.” But sometimes it’s good to get the human element. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk. You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you. So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
So, I took this mock situation to try to figure out what someone could do to get their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back, particularly their ex girlfriend since this was for the ex girlfriend recovery website. It takes time and commitment on your part and even then you’re not guaranteed to get an ex back because no one can guarantee you that.
It was actually extremely difficult to move and a lot of times, I wasn’t as happy as I wouldn’t have been, if I hadn’t have moved.
So, yeah I think maybe that could have potentially be what’s going on here and why he’s wanting to move back home.
So, if you—I guess what I’m trying to say is building this critical mass of attraction is essential but you know, if your ex is states away, then you’re going to have to catch  a last minute flight when you’re trying to ask for this date and last minute flights are typically notorious for being expensive.
So, it wasn’t as much of an issue for me but she also had to come visit me and visit my parents.
I’m just trying to tell you what I think and what I think is, I think in the future if you are to get him back, I think you would have to be the one to move to him. I’m trying to give you a look at every single aspect of this situation and part of that is just me giving you my personal opinion on your chances. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back. You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one.
I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26.
I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up. And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered. But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one.
For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back.
Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this. Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah.
So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. While he was in rehab, for the month of April, we emailed everyday and spoke on the phone when we could. So, she had to have the money to do that and the time to do that but before we even met before, we met online through Facebook through friends. So, maybe he can be in his comfort zone but at the same time there’s drawbacks to that because you leave your friends and family. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis.
So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again.
That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule. So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you.
I took her back even after she admitted that she slept with someone during our breakup and cheated on me in July with the same idiot. Part of the reason that I ended up not following the same suit as your boyfriend is that I really had a very deep commitment to my wife. So, we met online through Facebook through friends and we set up a day about two months in advance where we would meet and it was in Florida at her parent’s house and two months is pretty risky for someone you’ve never met but it’s sort of—it was that critical mass of attraction I was talking about. I’m looking for all sort of lovey dovey adjectives I can think of but—critical mass of attraction maybe the best one. You leave your support system and you’re in this new strange place where you don’t really know anyone. Everything that I’m trying to do is to help you obviously but sometimes I feel a little over robotic in the way that I think now. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product. I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. After SZ left rehab, in May, he decided it made the most sense for him to move home to his parents house in Austin. In fact, I think we were engaged maybe within a month of moving in and I was just committed head over heels for this woman. Enough attraction had been built to where we were willing to want to see each other and we set a date to see each other and stuck with the date and I kind of felt like we were dating before we met because we were both kind of committed to not hurting the other person’s feelings like I wouldn’t talk to any other girls at all while I was talking to her because I didn’t want to scare her off and she didn’t want to talk to any other men when she was talking to me because she, one,  didn’t want to scare me off and two, I was the one who had to buy the plane tickets to come see her and she would feel bad if she, I guess flirted or met someone else. I hate to use that one again but it builds a huge critical mass of attraction on both parties and then all of a sudden one of the people has to go home or both of the people have to go home.
Maybe you do know his family but it’s still not the same as having your family there or having your own support systems or network of friends which is something that I learned myself. We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails.
And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about.
You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple.
We continued to maintain our long distance relationship, but we hadn’t seen each other since March, and in late May SZ broke up with me.
So, I felt like we were kind of in this relationship without being in a relationship yet when we were talking and I feel like that is maybe the best strategy for you Morgan.
So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails.
However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did.
People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood. I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. When I asked why, he said he had decided to get back together with his ex RT (who also lives in Atlanta where I live). I don’t want to give you false hope because like I said, your chances, it can be as great as some other people’s chances perhaps but I will say, if you were you willing to put everything you have into this, you can get him back for sure. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. She was contemplating on what to do between me and this other idiot and tells me I have her heart and don’t feel for this guy like she feels for me.
I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. She has now decided to let this idiot move in with her temporary because he lives with his ex wife and she is kicking him out and he has no where to go and can’t afford anything. So I mailed him the belongings he’d left at my condo, and deleted his number emails, texts, and voicemails. Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.



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