02.02.2014

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I wear size medium shirts, size seven jeans, and (in case you were wondering) size eight shoes. I have never experienced a doctor dismissing my concerns with a “lose weight, feel great!” remedy. And I can open an article with my measurements without fear of judgment.
I walk through this world as a thin person. And as such, I have never experienced fat discrimination.
Because it’s so easy to fall back on tired old excuses for why we’re not privileged – and I see this a lot when the topic of thin privilege is broached. But I think it’s time for us to look at these excuses (and how they don’t hold up in the grand scheme of things) a little more closely. Because yes, sticks and stones may break your bones, but damn it, words really can hurt you. It is woven throughout social institutions, as well as embedded within individual consciousness.
For example, if you make a “fat joke,” everyone around you is going to understand it – because the cultural belief that fat is something to laugh at is widespread.
Structural limits significantly shape a person’s life chances and sense of possibility in ways beyond the individual’s control.
Dominant or privileged groups benefit, often in unconscious ways, from the disempowerment of subordinated or targeted groups.
The negative attitudes toward you as a privileged person aren’t pervasive, restricting, or hierarchal. You aren’t losing out on anything just because someone’s words, actions, or beliefs had an emotional impact on you.
And when you move past it – even if it takes years of work, which it very well may – that’s it.
Oppression never goes away because everywhere you go, everything you see, and everyone you know reiterates and reinforces it. I made a video this summer called ‘How to Get a Bikini Body.’ It repeated the oft-seen-on-social-media body-positive mantra “Put a bikini on your body!” theme.
And people were quick to comment that my message lost its meaning because my body adheres to societal beauty standards. But the difference between these negative feelings and fatphobia is this: The only person worrying about whether or not I’m meeting beauty standards is me.
And while your internal struggle is real and significant, the point is: You might hate your body, but society doesn’t. Before you worry that I’m going to disregard or otherwise undermine the bullying involved in skinny-shaming, let me reassure you: I’m not going to do that. I would never tell you that jabs at your “chicken legs” or insinuations (or outright proclamations) that you must have an eating disorder aren’t hurtful or that their effects aren’t far-reaching. But what I am going to argue is this: As horrible as skinny-shaming is (and it is!), what makes it different is that it does not involve a pervasive fear or hatred of thin bodies.


And while its personal effects are certainly influential, it is not restrictive on a social level. But these types of reclamations of fat pride wouldn’t need to exist if fat-shaming wasn’t a thing. These types of phrases and attitudes were born of a need to say “I’m beautiful, too!” They’re responses to social norms. And while you certainly shouldn’t encourage them if they feel like put-downs, what you need to remember about these phrases, in the words of Lindy West is, “’I’m proud to be fat’ is still a radical statement. Society wants you to recognize that being thin is “in” – but not too thin, not that thin – because the goal is to keep you insecure.
The “So-and-So Has Cellulite!” headline is right next to the “Does So-and-So Have an Eating Disorder?” story. They (and you can insert anyone you want here for “they” – society, the media, the dieting industry, the executive board for Patriarchy, Inc.) want women to continue to chase after unattainable goals. But the difference is that the discrimination that fat people experience is at the intersection of sexism and fatphobia. So while, yes, shaming anyone is wrong and bad and sexist, fat-shaming is rooted in extra factors that skinny-shaming is not. And when you feel trapped in and controlled by your body, when you’ve reached that level of self-consciousness, when you’re suffering every single day just to make it through, it’s unlikely that you’ll feel like you’re experiencing privilege.
That is: The marginalization that you experience as a person living with an eating disorder is a result of the disorder, not a result of your body. A person with an eating disorder can experience ableism and still benefit from their thin privilege. But the bottom line that we have to remember is this: Are my negative experiences related to my body grievances, or are they pervasive issues on a societal level?
And if you have your thin privilege in check, you’ll be better able to recognize that most of the time, these issues fall into the former category.
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. Don’t fall in love with someone who says the right things, fall in love with someone who does the right things. You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart. Coming from Africa, most African men saw their share of poverty and how it was like to live without having anything.
By virtue of not having access to these privileges, the lives of larger people are limited. If thinness is heralded as the status quo, then that continues to put thin people in positions of power when it comes to determining what “average” (or “preferable”) is. I believe whole-heartedly that the body-positive community needs to be open to all body types.


And referring to someone’s partner as a dog just because they like someone’s body is degrading. An able-bodied woman can experience sexism and still benefit from her able-bodied privilege. It’s easy to feel defensive when you mistake someone’s asking you to check your privilege for their making assumptions about your life.
Fabello, Managing Editor of Everyday Feminism, is a domestic violence prevention and sexuality educator, eating disorder and body image activist, and media literacy vlogger based out of Philadelphia. Once we find the right man for us, we fall in love and want to keep him in our lives forever.
We can’t control who we fall in love with and if it is with an African male, that would be just as wonderful. I am sure you would want to talk about lots of things that are happening in the world today and with some men, that isn’t easy to do. We meet so many people and when the time comes for the man to be a gentleman and open a door for you, or pull out your seat, not many will do it. Growing up in those surroundings, he is going to make sure that he never has to know what it’s like not to eat and go to bed starving.
She enjoys rainy days, Jurassic Park, and the occasional Taylor Swift song and can be found on YouTube and Tumblr. You would date him because of who he is and because you love him, not for any other reason. An African man knows that it takes hard work and a good education to make it in this world. If you are out on a date with an African Man, he is going to treat you like a real woman and open doors for you, pay for the meal and make sure you get home safely.
He wants a better life and he knows he will have to study hard and make a good living for that to happen. You will not have to worry about what to cook all of the time, he will treat you like the princess you are and cook you the delicious meals his mama taught.
No matter what color you are or he is, love is color blind and all that would matter is that you love him for him. He is someone who tries to have a good career so that he can start to build a future for himself and for his family. You will equally not need to eat the lousy food from fast foods since your man is the chef. Just because you are on a date will not guarantee that the man is going to have manners and be courteous.



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