06.03.2014

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Thankfully we live in the day and age where video chats on Skype are free, easy, and readily available. After two years of Long Distance Relationships – these are the things that work for me.
He lays out a good way to approach LDRs – regardless of whether you expect to be in an LDR for a couple of months or a couple of years.
I’ve noticed as soon as we starting Skype once a day, the number of (and the magnitude of) our fights decreased drastically.
Just remember: 20 minutes of quality Skype time + 20 minutes of quality study time is MUCH better than a crappy hour of Skyping and “studying” where nothing much gets done.
I’ve found the best way to keep Skyping new and fresh (even after 13 months of it) is to not always do one-on-one chats. I’ve met most of his friends in Japan; when they have “boy’s nights out” they will typically Skype me before they leave. We don’t Skype with friends for long, maybe five to ten minutes max – once or twice a month. He physically can’t be here for me when I need him – which is a depressing, but unfortunate, barrier in our relationship. Me and my girlfriend started a long distance relationship after our high school graduation. Its a really good advice… Im starting to be in a LDR we just have a month apart and I miss him so much. Some times it’s really difficult to skype everyday because of worktime or something else.
About a month ago, an old flame (he doesn’t get to be called an ex) came into my life through Google +.
But there were a few HUGE flashing signs, like the fact that he was questioning why I would want to start hanging out again after he was such an ass (clear sign I’m going down the wrong path).
The worst part of all of this is that I’ve been passing up a really nice guy just so I can still talk to a jerk who hurt me.
Over the past four years I've been collecting a few million how not to date stories, mostly from the hundreds of blind first dates I've gone on. You can’t just jump into it – assuming it will be the same as a “normal” relationship and expect everything to work out. Just because you live across the world (in a different country, time zone, or culture) doesn’t mean you can’t still have a close, loving relationship… fostered by Skype calls.
The book is chalk-full of the stories of other couples who have successfully gone the distance. I noticed that if it has been more than 12 hours, I forgot to tell Ryosuke things about my day. That’s just disrespectful to your significant other – and you won’t be able to get much work done anyways.
I sit in a chair, lay on the bed, spread out of the floor, or walk around the room with the laptop.
How I Met Your Mother is one of the few shows he will actually watch – so we try to watch an episode once a week (during the season).


They can be brought on by anything – a missed deadline, homework piling up, or getting sick. I love waking up in the morning to find videos of Ryosuke awkwardly lip-syncing to something by Maroon 5, chatting about his day, or dancing around his room. I have a lot of friends in long distance relationships – half of which (on average) cheat on their significant other without meaning to.
We were both in the same time zone; when we got back to our respective apartments at night, we would launch Skype, chat about our day, and unwind over a can of beer or glass of wine. I would put my laptop next to the stove while I made stir fry, cut vegetables, and fried meat. I’m sure to single people it doesn’t make sense – but to me it was the favorite part of my day. Now I live in the countryside near Tokyo with my husband, Ryosuke, where I draw comics, blog, and make videos about our daily life.
We have gone many long hours skyping each other and we actually sleep together with the camera on.
LDR are becoming more and more practised cos more and more people travel (for studies, work, pleasure, etc.) I know a lot of people who have been in a LDR for some time (months? I am not in an LDR at the moment, but I am in Long-Distance Family, with my family in New Zealand.
He lives in Minnesota, I’m in Michigan, and he works third shift, so we only get a few minutes to talk every day.
My favorite things to do with him is show him special places for me in my town and have lunch with him there on the phone. And only the ones who didn’t use earphones and the ones who screamed into their pcs, no one got angry. Sometimes you need to have that night where you watch those horribly stupid romantic comedies while eating ice cream and frozen reeses and crying into your best friend’s shoulder.
My friends have even dubbed me the MVP of dating, and after you strike out as many times as I have you learn a thing or two (i.e. If we only Skyped twice a week, I had a hard time prioritizing what was important and what could be left out. Think of all the times you tried to “study” together when you lived together (or think back on previous relationships).
I like to pass the laptop with Ryosuke around to other friends once a month, so he still feels like an integral part of my life here.
The hardest part about being in a long distance relationship (aside from, you know the normal horrible parts of a relationship) is the fact they can’t always be there. Of course Skype can’t fill the void you miss by cuddling, falling asleep in each other’s arms, or kissing – but there is no reason to make yourself sexually frustrated.
Then we would “eat dinner” together – with a plate of food on the table in between us and the laptops.
I actually recommend it for some people because we both have night terrors frequently and comfourt each other in the later hours. It took me over a year to realize that eating together, via Skype, is one of the most wonderful things I could do to reconnect long-distance.


I have the added frustration of having NEVER met my boyfriend in person… we fell in love online, and our Skype dates are the closest we get to eachother.
And although I know it would be a ridiculous idea to ever start something up (which he probably wouldn’t even go for) I have subconsciously been trying.
Create a comfortable open line of communication where you can each say your peace and end the ever lasting dot dot dots. Between school, work, friends, and studying – it is hard enough to block out 20 minutes for your favorite trashy reality television show, never mind an hour to chat with your significant other.
Sometimes if I have to go the bathroom or buy a drink, I will drop my laptop off with a friend to keep him company.
We open Skype in one window, the episode in another window, and chat throughout the episode.
I’d just like to ask you, how often do you meet Ryosuke in person during your relationship? 14 hour time difference from the east coast to Japan… any tips for everyday communication? I LOVE tip number 6, as we’ve only been able to skype a few times, which is a lot harder to do on such different schedules. And with every time I talk to him it’s like I open up another cut that was almost healed. I have much better time management skills, because the only constant thing in my life are my Skype dates. Even when we both DID live in Japan, we still lived a 13 hour bus ride away from each other (Akita to Tokyo). It’s done wonders for feeling more connected, particularly when they are eating and cooking as well, in a different hemisphere. Along with a bunch of his friends, we climbed a mountain and camped out in an old WWII bunker.
Which means starting in February, i will study abroad in Taipei for a year while he’s in Germany. Granted – it’s a bit harder to manage because of the Long Distance Relationship aspect – but long distances do not have to be painful and lonely. I’ve never been happier in a relationship, or had someone who showed they care about me as much as he does.
We built a fire and all sat around it as the Sun was going down over the ocean, just telling stories, drinking and laughing.
There are many problems like me needing to support my parents, distance , religion issue etc. My love and I watched the sunset and talked about our future and how incredible it felt to finally be in each others arms.



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