22.08.2014

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Before I go into the details of her situation I do want to say that often times I have no idea on whose question I am going to answer for the podcast. Other times I listen to each one very carefully one by one and pick out the situation that I think people would want to hear about the most.
There was a lot of emotion in it and you could tell, just by listening that she wanted her ex boyfriend back.
Welcome to the ex-boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve!
I asked him originally if when he got home, if I can have a month or so to work it out and not to give up on us.
Hey, I wanted to take a moment and thank you Morgan for having the courage to tell your story. Today’s episode features a woman named Morgan who has a bit of a problem with her ex. But, so basically what this men could do to get their exes back as soon as possible and kind of the game plan I came up with, shortened the strategy that I teach on both website significantly but still the shortest strategy was 30 days.
Even as great as my advice may be and as many success stories as I have had over the last several years that I’ve been running these websites, even I can’t guarantee. Now, with that being said, if you’re willing to take a long approach, if you’re willing to accept, “Okay, I’m probably not going to get him back by 6 pm today but it doesn’t mean I’m out of the game. Now, that post a serious issue because one, she would never take me seriously as a suitor because I live in Texas and Pennsylvania is pretty much like 1700 miles away.
So, I pretty much would be there alone the entire time and all we had was a desk with my computer on it to work and a TV and I remember literally just staring at the clock hoping it would be 5 pm or 6 pm and she would come home because it was sort of like being in jail for a little bit because I just didn’t know what to do with myself.
I think just maybe, at his age, because he’s a lot younger than I was, I think maybe 5 or 6 years younger total of when I’ve ended up moving. No contact rule is going to be essential for you but that’s pretty much essential for everyone but after that really everything follows the same strategy. Then the next step is building attraction through text messages and then next step is to build attraction  through phone calls or Skype or Facetime or video chats and then the third step is the in person dates.
Well, if you don’t have a lot of money, you probably work at a job that doesn’t pay a lot and probably works you like a dog.
Now, if you knew a month ahead of time that you were going to meet you ex up at this certain date then the flights become a little bit more inexpensive which is kind of the strategy I would recommend for you to approach.
Now, let me tell you a little bit more about my personal experience with this method because I have actually done this method with my wife.
Maybe you can try to set up kind of a critical mass of attraction through text messages and phone calls where you kind of have this unspoken agreement where you’re not going to talk to other people when you set up this date maybe a month in advance or something. I had my wife’s family which now they are my real family because I married her but at that time it’s such a drastic difference because I didn’t have any friends besides my wife. So, getting the human element, hearing people talk about their exes and how much they want them back and how hurt they are by the break up. We hear from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous who has found herself in a bit of a pickle.
There’s—I think something like four free giveaways of content and pdf and I do the success story report where I took a lot of my successes and figured out exactly what made them successful. I just want to take a moment and thank you for having the courage to put your situation out there.
I can maybe buy into the thinking that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his career. So, make sure when you implement the things I’m going to tell you about that you don’t do anything stupid like this because I’m not going to lie to you. That could be a contributing reason for the breakup but you hurt yourself when you told him that you slept with someone else because going forward now, he’s going to question everything you say. So, they know exactly what they have to do to get their ex back in their situation and I was writing I think what was like a hundred pages and I was super excited about this. So, approaching this situation, basically if you’re going to deliver bad news to your ex boyfriend or if you’re going to bring up something negative, do it when he’s in a good mood.
Sometimes when people mess up on the no contact rule, they go back to square negative one because the no contact rule losses its effectiveness but you, since you really didn’t do the no contact rule that much, it’s not going to lose much effectiveness. Well, I mentioned that he’s going to be questioning you every single time you tell him something now because in the back of his mind, he’s still going to wonder if you slept with someone.
Let things unfold naturally because you’ve already proven that he wants you back and I really think you have a great shot at getting him back.
Not to put yourself in a position where he can look at you say, “She’s not trustworthy.” And that sometimes means not going out to a club or something with your friends if they’re going to take pictures, post it on Facebook. Alrighty… It’s time for another episode of “The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast!” Awesome, right?
I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice.
Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back.
Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint. And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly-- long distance relationships for example.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example. We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice. So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently.
I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you. So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it.
I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. It’s funny… I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
If you want to know the deepest darkest secret desires that the average straight man has, read on—if you dare.
This may not come as a total surprise: even the nicest guy you know has either made some kind of sex video or has always wanted to do so. No one is proud to admit this, but—as a guy—I can say that I almost always have some kind of attraction to at least one of my girlfriend’s friends. Some guys can be a bit insecure and may be wondering if you’ve been with guys in the past who are wealthier, taller, in better shape, better endowed, etc. Kudos to the men out there who have the nerve to date a damaged woman, picking up the pieces of the broken heart, that you had nothing to do with, and gently putting it back together. Now that we have somehow found the courage to poke our heads out and smell the roses, we can’t help but being like Chicken Little. There are so many deep, dark secrets that we can barely admit to ourselves in the dead of night, let alone, ever admit to you. Most of us have stayed, trying, until we have lost everything, including our minds and dignity. If you run away, after you have awakened even the slightest bit of hope, you would have been better off eating Cheetos on your own couch. While being asked to be a bridesmaid is a great honour, it can also be quite an undertaking when it comes to planning the hen night, trying to write the perfect speech, and being prepared to hold the bride’s dress up while she uses the toilet.
First of all, weddings are not exactly the right place to help you forget about being single. When the time comes for the bouquet toss, you might want to start eyeing up that extra piece of cake.
You don’t need someone else as an excuse to wear a pretty dress, but it cannot be denied that it is a nice benefit. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride—if you happen to be a bridesmaid on more than one occasion, then you might be well-acquainted with this phrase.
If wedding comedies have taught us anything, the appropriate response is to put on your smuggest smile and respond with your sassiest retort about how you enjoy your single life by having hot hate sex with random strangers. While single life can offer some benefits, it’s a little insulting that single bridesmaids are stereotypically portrayed as women who are desperately seeking love.
While it’s perfectly natural to want love, actively seeking it should not be considered an act of desperation.
All things considered, you know what your own reasons are for being single, and whether or not you are looking for a relationship, you should not be made to feel bad about it. Social media is a great way for people to connect, but it can make it hard to truly connect when you like someone. Many of us have several different social media accounts—most of which are open for the world to see.
This can be a great way to bring together people from different walks of life and meet otherwise unattainable people, thus adding to your social circle in a very real way.
Instead of constantly watching their social media feed, you should really look inside yourself to figure out what it is about this person that has you so spun.
Hot faces are everywhere on social media, and the person you’re interested in is just another one of those good looking people you wait for to upload a selfie. If you can’t help but stalk your social media crush, there’s a good chance they’re going to think you’re crazy. Instead of liking all his photos or commenting on everything, take a step back and maybe go out on a real date with someone you’ve met in person.
The version of the person you see on social media is only a portion of who that person really is, so it’s important to remember that when getting attached to someone you’ve only seen the best of.
They do reflect somewhat of who they are, but they only feed into the less-than-accurate idea you’ve painted in your mind of what kind of person they are.
It’s not easy to accept that fact, but it is better than continuing to build someone up into some kind of god when you should know that they’re just another person with flaws. If you’ve accepted all these steps and still can’t seem to get them out of your mind, maybe there is something about them that is calling to you. It may not be the easiest thing in the world, but getting to know them on a real level will either confirm that you two are connected for whatever reason, or it could bring you back to earth and help you get over your obsession. These are just a few tips on how to deal with liking someone you’ve never met but know through your social media channels. We watch romantic comedies as a guilty pleasure, but they are also guilty of changing our perception about relationships.
The post The (Ugly) Truth About Romantic Comedies And Relationships appeared first on YouQueen. We all know that people are not one dimensional, so why are they often portrayed as such on film? It’s a little insulting that men who show sensitivity are deemed to be weak and undesirable, while the same can be said about the women who are cool and calculating.
In fact, anything outside of the stereotypical ideals of masculinity and femininity are generally unwanted. Other than complimenting a person’s physical appearance, and making it really obvious that I find them attractive, I wouldn’t know what to say or how to act.
In fact, the only accurate portrayal of flirting that I can think of is in She’s The Man. When he finally goes on a date with his crush, the two sit in silence until he tries to flirt with her by asking if she likes cheese. While this is very romantic to watch from the comfort of your cosy sofa, in real life, it is a cold mess. As someone who has tested this method, trust me: all the red hot passion of Ryan Gosling is not be enough to keep you warm when the cold rain seeps into your clothes. While love is an essential ingredient to a lasting relationship, it is not enough to sustain one.
Give yourself the mental, physical and emotional foundation you need before taking the plunge. We have the potential to create consistent and loving relationships if we know ourselves and work on ourselves; without that, it’s easy for the challenges that life throws you to knock you out of your comfort zone and shake up your marriage. Since we are talking about love, we first really need to look at how much we are looking to our partners to make ourselves feel good. What we need is to really know who we are, what we feel our purpose is and to be proud of it. If you are constantly obsessing over how you look, calling yourself fat or looking at photos and wishing you looked like someone else, you’re not ready to take the plunge. Men love confident healthy women who are comfortable in their own skin, not women who are trying to be something they’re not.
Before you enter a marriage, you need to have women who you can discuss anything with—and I mean anything.
Plus, we need to stay involved in our friends lives so that we don’t live on an isolated island and lose touch with society.
If you want a long-lasting marriage, look at any substance abuse you might be dealing with and take the time you need to heal that. If, as a couple, you are having fights where you say mean things to each other, you’re not ready to get married. Once you have that in check, you will want him to treat you with respect even when you’re stressed. You need to have a handle on how much you’re spending on food and other things so that you won’t be stressed about finances in your relationship. This is a hard one to know for sure, but let’s say that you need to know that you would still be happy without your man. If you were miserable before your relationship and looking for a relationship to save you, you’re not ready.
If you think that getting married is going to make the problems go away, slow down: you need to work on the problems and get to the root of the negative patterns before you tie the knot. Hopefully you found this helpful and will share it with your friends as it’s the advice any woman should have before getting married. We don’t want to admit it, but we’ve all been there—guilty of creeping on our ex-boyfriend’s social media accounts at least one time or another. I understand the adverse reactions that people have to cyber snooping—it’s a total invasion of privacy to meddle where you don’t belong, and there are times where it can do more harm than good, but hear me out. I can say from personal experience that I have done my fair share of poking and prodding around online to see what my ghosts of boyfriends past have been up to in a world without me. I’m not condoning being a social media sleuth by any means, but as I said before, you’re likely to do it anyway. You will probably see that he is living life, going out, having fun, meeting new people and enjoying himself. There’s always a chance that you will see your ex has moved on to exciting new facets of life.
While the reality of the fact that he’s settled down with someone new can be crushing, seeing him with her can provide you with the closure you need to finally move on, too. Maybe he up and left his comfort zone all together and started a whole new life in South Carolina.
Sometimes after being away from someone for long enough, it can seem like you look back on everything through rose-colored glasses. Seeing him again will remind you of how far you’ve come since your relationship ended.
You have gone through so much without him, and you have become a stronger person because of it.
In the grand scheme of things, there will come a day when you stop caring all together about what your ex is up to. However, when you’re really in love with someone, you’ll notice that your body starts taking over, and those concerns you have about climaxing melt into the back of your mind. Relaxing with a partner you love and trust is one of the most efficient ways to have an orgasm.
A lot of times, we ask our partners what their fantasies are out of a desire to try something new or to feed into our insecurities (“Oh, he likes pigtails and skirts?
When we’re really in love, though, we find ourselves thinking, “I want to know what my lover’s fantasies are so that I can have that experience with them.” You both genuinely seek out more ways to please each other, and it’s exciting and romantic when you do. There’s a difference between loving and lusting when it comes to fantasies, role play and trying new or kinkier things.
Everyone is at least a little insecure the first time they get naked in front of another person—even at the doctor’s office—but being with someone sexually leaves more than just our skin exposed.
We all have histories with our bodies, some more traumatic than others, and we all bring our own perceptions of sex and body image to the table.
You’ll know you’re in love when you’re comfortable in your own skin and when you’re OK with the parts of you that weren’t sure about before.
When you find a partner you love, you’ll find that sex loses all of the previous negative power it held in your life.
With a lover who loves you in return, however, you’ll find yourself relinquishing a lot of that stress and letting them do things with you that you never even thought you’d be able to do. Maybe it’s trying a new position, using toys, role playing or just doing it with the lights on. Maybe the two of you move together like you’ve been doing this a long, long time, or maybe you know exactly what spots to touch to send each other over the edge. Remember the relationship rule “Be 100% honest with each other” so you can be happy in your relationship?
While the old adage that says birds of the feather flock together isn’t always true, you can’t blame him if he begins thinking that you may have cheating tendencies, too.
If it’s something that his friend repeatedly attempts to do, then you should obviously tell him because he deserves to know that his friend is stabbing him in the back. The mere thought that you think the guy you’re working with from Monday to Friday is cool will make your partner’s mind race with jealousy. Never give your two cents about his overbearing mom—or any of his relatives for that matter—even if he initiates the topic.
Whether it’s cooking you breakfast, performing at his job or satisfying you in bed, you should be your boyfriend’s number one fan and cheerleader. Whenever honesty is required, be honest with your man, but don’t forget to use your judgment in telling him several things that he may not understand or interpret the right way.
I wanted to offer this to you so you could help the women in your life make good decisions in relationships. If a guy is moody and you never know if he’s going to nice to you or blow you off, he is not a keeper.
Notice if he’s complaining, talking negatively about others, focused on problems or there’s always some sort of drama. If he refuses to do things for others, chances are he doesn’t have enough empathy or heart to really be what you need. You want a man who asks how your friends are doing and is interested in the well-being of your family.
If your man is a couch potato and doesn’t care about the future, who is going to help you take care of a family? What’s more, going any further along a path once signs appear that you are unlikely to get what you need from this person makes you 100 percent responsible for any subsequent suffering that comes your way.
If they cannot give you what you need and want in this moment, if they metaphorically chose not to show up for you now or if they seem less enthusiastic about your liaison than you do, then, ultimately, it is not going to change. So, in relationships, it’s vital to avoid complete catastrophe instead of hoping people have a good guess at the expectations we try to communicate. If you manage to get as far as working out what you’d like and are able to communicate that to the other person, you are already doing much better than most. I once drove across four countries (Italy, France, Spain and Portugal in case you were wondering!). The truth was that before I set off, I knew, and had been shown through past behavior, that whatever there was between us was not enough and never would be.
I’m just saying that when you naturally reach ‘that point’ (which could be after one week, one year or longer depending on the circumstances), then letting someone know what you are looking for actually saves a lot of drama further down the line. If you choose not to ask for what you want in order to keep the game going a little longer, eventually (whether it is in one month, one or ten years’ time), it will always become unavoidably evident that it is not enough. What seemed like a great idea at the time to avoid a letdown, turns into you investing a lot of energy that could be spent finding someone who does want the same things. There are no more sappy longhand love letters, and grand gesture professions of love are few and far between.
If a guy you’re seeing isn’t being romantic enough, you really see it as a fault either within him or yourself.
When someone does go the extra mile at the beginning of the relationship and you end up falling in love, it’s huge. In fact, every love you ever have is a grand love because you see each and every love story is a huge deal. Your attraction to everyone is that much more special because you always assume that love is lurking around every corner and you’ll never know when cupid’s arrow will hit you.
When it comes to being in a relationship, if it’s not an ultimate love, it’s not something you want to put your energy into. When you’re not getting what you want out of it, you would rather have nothing at all because you know deep down that your soul mate not only exists, they’re out there somewhere just waiting to meet you, too. This can be good for finding exactly what you want, but also bad because it can skew the fact that just because things aren’t perfect, doesn’t mean they’re not real. Just like wanting all or nothing, if you aren’t getting enough, you’ll start to question the entire relationship. It isn’t a bad thing to want romance, but as a hopeless romantic, it’s important to remember that it won’t always be romantic, and that’s okay.
You put love above all else, sometimes even above your other needs like hobbies and a good career. You’d give up anything for the right love and sometimes in the process, this can lead to you feeling empty because not all loves are great ones even if you treat them that way.
The reality is that romantic comedies don’t always do the best work at portraying how real love is, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting one to play out in your life.
You wish for your love story to be that of one that could be played out on the big screen, and when it doesn’t go that way, you’re severely disappointed. A lot like believing in the rom-com reality, believing in the fairytale can be both good and bad. The important fact to remember is that just because it hasn’t been written yet doesn’t mean it can’t be your own personal fairy tale. Online dating is really an entertaining means to connect with people you may never think of communicating with otherwise. The percentage of unsuccessful stories followed by crimes, sexual abuse and even deaths in many cases, has also grown alarmingly. The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is one of the most popular self help and sexuality podcasts found on the market today.
First he agreed but then changed his mind in things that we cannot be fixed because there was nothing wrong with our relationship. It just means I’m going to take a much different approach.” If you’re willing to accept that, I think I may have a game plan for you where you can be successful. So, my mindset at that time was a little bit more mature even though like I said, I was little naive and thought the move would be easy. It could be millions of different reasons but what I personally think from drawing upon my own personal experience is he felt maybe a little uncomfortable in this new area and didn’t really quite have the guts to stick it out and set his roots his down and kind of normalize and it certainly takes some time to get there but you will get there eventually if you stick it out. And I like to teach these three date method where you go on a smaller date then a medium date then on a romantic date but that’s where the long distance relationship strategy kind of alters a bit because getting a date with an ex who’s states away isn’t easy. Build up a critical mass of attraction in the texting phase and phone call phase and then when you have the critical mass built, I want you both to set a date and stick to the date where you go out and get plane tickets maybe a month away until where the plane tickets are affordable and you’re not paying—dropping $700 to a $1000 on a plane ticket for a weekend where you see your ex, where you’re not even guaranteed to get them back. Ultimately getting him back is going to be contingent on getting either together in the same state or working out some sort of commitment where you have a deeper commitment like marriage or something but no matter how you slice or dice it, you’re going to have to get back on the same state so, maybe that means you have to be willing to move to him.
I didn’t really know anyone again besides my wife and her family and I didn’t really have a support system to kind of fall back onto.
I really tried to provide as much personal experience in everything as I could to your situation but if you’re asking my professional opinion as a relationship consultant. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to listen to me ramble on Morgan and all of you who are listening and listening to ramble on with Morgan, thank you so, so very much.
It’s good for me to help me understand you better and as a result, hopefully I can just continue to give good advice to everyone who wants it. We have had a lot going on lately and I kind of neglected getting new content out there but I am going to work really hard to stay on schedule of posting one of these episodes a week. If this is your first serious boyfriend, I’m assuming you are his first serious girlfriend and at that age, if you’ve only experienced one person or you’ve only been in a relationship with one person.
That can be kind of a tough thing because society has kind of painted men into a corner where men are the providers. You had him in your hands, I don’t know what you were thinking with regards to trying to make him jealous or make him upset by telling him that you slept with someone else. I know I’ve been kind of getting onto you and telling you what you did was not a smart way to approach it. I think for him to even ask that question of you in the first place means he’s worried about it.
Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that's supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really--I guess it’s fun to be on camera.
I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.
You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that.


So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book-- The No Contact Rule Book. Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out.
I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it. To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that.
So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up.
She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. Men watch a lot of porn—making your own porn and watching it later is the ultimate form of that. There’s something very arousing about knowing that there is the possibility of having random sex with your partner at any moment.
If you don’t use password or pin protection on your phone, he may have already read through your conversations.
Women have a funny tendency to say that their number is three, so if your number is actually three and you decide to fess up to him, he probably won’t believe you. There are plenty of great guys out there who have their urges in check and complete self-control. We see how wonderful you are and how much you are really trying to show us that you have no intention of hurting us, but sometimes, it all comes flooding back, and we cannot help it.
When we suddenly go quiet or off radar, that is a good indication that something was said or done that triggered that pain again. It never goes away; it just gets placed further back in our minds and hearts until, one day, we no longer can recall the address we filed it under. When you do walk away, we know that you are dealing with your own insecurities too, but, being little girls at heart, we were truly hoping that you were man enough to face your demons and come and help us fight ours.
We have made it this far, without becoming like some of our own kind who have started wearing their daughters’ clothes, even though they are two sizes too small and twenty years too old. They’re a fun and festive way to celebrate your friend or family member starting a life with another person. Contrary to real life, in these wedding comedies, the bride isn’t always the sole focus. However, if you are single, you may view being a bridesmaid from a slightly different perspective.
You will be witness to the declarations of love not only from the bride and groom, but you will see nearly every other couple in attendance being bitten by the love bug.
Depending, of course, on where the wedding is held, and where you live in relation to it, the length of travel may vary.
If a man were to act this way, he would probably be admired rather than shamed, so why should women be treated any differently? So, while your bridesmaid experience may be difficult at times, you should still be the best bridesmaid you can be. But, when you come across someone on social media, follow their account and find yourself falling in love them, what should you do? Being physically attracted to someone you’ve only seen pictures of is very different to having a physical connection because you have yet to meet the person and feel their energy. If you’re obsessed with someone on social media, there’s also a good chance that something in your physical life is missing. Getting constant notifications, even from people you know, can be a little too aggressive, so if you’re doing it to him to try to get him to notice you, he may just be less and less interested in you by default.
This could help with the obsession by getting you in touch with someone you’ve just idealized.
It’s not the ups and downs of everything they experience, but the best parts of their life.
It’s easy to fall for someone when all you see from them is amazing things and great adventures, but that’s not how real relationships work. It’s important not to put anyone on a pedestal, especially someone you’ve only seen a fraction of through their social media channels.
We are in the digital age, so dating someone you met on social media isn’t frowned upon at all; if you’re willing to go for it, then it will help you in the long run. If you’ve ever become obsessed with a love interest you met on social media, how did you deal with it?
Now, they take the form of romantic comedies, where dragons have been replaced with personal problems. Both men and women are frequently represented as being either completely cynical about love and relationships or being overly emotional and sensitive.
In reality, we know that we are capable of having all of these attributes at once, and display different ones at different times.
The one where Allie and Noah have a fight in the rain and it somehow turns into a passionate kiss, which leads to a passionate night. Your hair will frizz, your makeup will run and, if you are really unlucky, your nose may also start to run. In Pretty Woman, finding out where your love interest lives was viewed as a romantic gesture. Romantic comedies have it almost engrained in us that saying those three magical words to someone is enough to conquer the world; sadly, this is a lie. In a relationship, love not only needs to be mutual, but must be aided by respect and trust. Yes, romantic comedies do present some unrealistic expectations, but they are also still fun to watch. This will ensure that you have your head on straight and are equipped with the tools you need to have a positive long-term relationship.
Having these habits and emotional coping skills will help you through the challenges you might face. When we are overly obsessed with our looks and rely on that for the basis of our relationships, we will constantly worry about aging and losing our sex appeal. We have been programmed by marketing companies to be insecure and think that men like skinny girls. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, that you love your body, and if there’s one thing, you’re self-conscious about, tell yourself that you love that part about yourself, too.
You will feel so much better walking down the aisle if your mind and body are healthy, and it’s only fair to your man. Marriage is about loving each other, supporting each other and offering consistent patient communication. You want to know what your bills are, when they are due and how much money you have coming in. Why not deal with this now so there’s one less thing that could be draining or cause disagreements in your marriage? You would need to feel satisfied with the life you’re living and be able to support yourself. If you find yourself thinking about being with other people and wondering if you would be happier with them, you’re not ready for marriage.
Of course, there are downsides to being a busybody, but there are times where it could actually be constructive to creep.
Odds are, you might not notice any somber status updates about how much he’s been missing you or how lost he is without you. It’s common to romanticize the past after a breakup, remembering things as far better than they actually were. Sometimes doing a little social media stalking will serve as a friendly reminder that old habits die hard. You aren’t the same girl you were when you were together, and you might not even believe that you wasted so much time pining for him in the first place. The urge to keep tabs on him will fade away one day on its own because suddenly, you’re over it.
When you’re with a new partner, you’re probably more distracted by whether or not your clitoris is going to show up for the game than you are about connecting with your partner. If you’ve had a bad experience with a man, or are really insecure about how much work an orgasm takes, it’s hard to just lean into the experience and have fun. You’re connecting over the things you want rather than just going at it like rabbits to reach orgasm.
In an unhealthy relationship or a short-term fling, your body image issues may be exacerbated, and you’ll find yourself turning out the lights or covering up quickly.
Your partner will likely worship every inch of your body, and that level of security and romance can really help you to come out of your shell. If you’ve had a traumatic experience, or just a bad breakup, you might find yourself unable to enjoy sex 100% because your own mind isn’t in it. The right partner will bring out your inner sex god or goddess because they know exactly what you need to feel comfortable. When you’re in love, the level of connection you reach while having good sex is just out of this world. Whatever it is, you’re connecting and telling the other person, “I know you.” What’s hotter than that?
There are things you just need to keep your mouth tightly sealed about so your relationship won't be robbed of its peace. Second, if you live together, you can always buy new clothes for him and playfully suggest he allows you to dress him up from time-to-time. Knowing this fact isn’t exactly going to make him put you on a pedestal because he appreciated your no-holds-barred honesty.
So, if you don’t want him getting paranoid to the point of suspecting you even for your most innocent moves, zip your mouth when it comes to your friends’ slip ups.
But, if it’s the first time that it happens, what do you say about giving his mate the benefit of the doubt?
He’ll think it’s actually you who wanted to be friends with him and you’re just using him as a front.
Better yet, why don’t you tell him or show him what you want so he knows exactly what to do? Too many women settle for less than what they deserve, so let’s raise the bar and make men be real men again! You need someone who helps you to feel comfortable and secure in the relationship by showing that he is in control of his emotions. Remember, you’re considering spending the rest of your life with this person, so you don’t want someone who eats corn dogs all day.
If he has a habit of brushing you off or forgetting what you tell him, chances are he’s not really invested in your relationship. If he is concerned about helping in the community or willing to spend his time on other people, he is a good guy.
Look at his words and actions: does he show that he cares about people, or is he just living to make himself happy?
For a long time, it was considered a sign of weakness to talk about emotions, but now we know that that’s actually very unhealthy. Some people try to get away with doing as little as possible, but this is a sense of entitlement and ungratefulness that doesn’t lead to unhealthy relationships. You understanding a situation or someone’s motivations does not give you the power to change their behavior, wants or needs in this moment.
I want you to say it enough times for it to really sink in and then use it to encourage you to walk away from all those romantic situations that are going nowhere.
If what is between you right now—in this instance, in this reality, in these circumstances—is not enough, then it never will be.
It is true that when what we (usually silently) want from people is not delivered, we feel crushed, angry or frustrated. I somehow made this in my mind as ‘casual’ as you possibly can make driving 1,800 miles to be reunited with someone. I pushed that aside hoping to find a more agreeable reality where my instincts were wrong, and the outcome would be different.
Yet, instead of being honest with both myself and him, I decided to stay silent and hopeful. Yes, of course, but I undoubtedly created more disappointment for myself and wasted my attention on someone who was never going to deliver anything remotely close to satisfaction. I’m not saying turn up on a first date, make it known that you see yourself having 10 babies and ask if they’re keen. It’s time you could be spending fully leaping into life, love, passion and new horizons elsewhere. You expect a lot more from your significant other and you often feel disappointed because life isn't a romantic movie. Everyone is looking for instant gratification and the usual date now a day is a Netflix and chill session at somebody’s house.
Sure, guys still pull out the stops when it comes to flowers and chocolate on Valentine’s Day, but when it comes to the everyday, real romance has almost ceased to exist. It’s not as though it’s nowhere to be found; it’s that our idea of love is nowhere in line with what the 21st century has turned it into it. You couldn’t possibly understand why he’s treating your relationship so cavalier, and for what it’s worth, you couldn’t be more upset about it. When you break up, even if it’s someone you weren’t even necessarily all that excited about, you’re still crushed because it’s just another nail on the coffin of what you thought love was going to be like. You could’ve sworn he smiled at you and now you’re sitting there obsessing about the interaction with your best friend over cocktails. Your idea of real love comes from the best parts of what love can be and you’re not willing to settle for less.
The way you perceive love and how it truly is can be very different and the effects of this will have you jumping ship when more work is required.
Being in love is all you’ve ever wanted and if you don’t have it, your whole world is off balance. It’s good because you are still wide-eyed and hopeful when it comes to what type of love you want and what you aren’t willing to settle for, but it can be bad, too, in the sense that if things don’t play out exactly as the fairy tale you imagine for yourself, you refuse to accept that you can’t find it elsewhere.
It’s a fact that online dating can result in finding partners who are spectacular, gorgeous and good-natured, but today’s world has brought about such swaps in online dating that its success rate has diminished.
It was ongoing for well over a decade and was crippling at its roughest times, which would come and go over and over again. Seiter takes real life situations on one by one and provides valuable advice that have helped thousands of women find the peace (and success) they are striving for. If you could please give me any kind of advice before 6 o’ clock, that would be amazing but if that’s not. And we’re going to do everything we possibly can here in the ex recovery family to help you.
So, I understand that this is may be hard for you to hear because I think everyone who can listen to this and everyone who can you know, hear your voice knows that you’re in a really emotional spot right now and I can just tell you really want him back. I’m just sort of the medium or the bridge between your mind and his mind and to what he may be thinking.
So, the only way that we could make our relationship work is if I move to Pennsylvania and that’s what I ended up doing.
I think I read somewhere that I don’t know, it takes like a year and a half to—maybe even like 3 years I read one time, to like settle down when you are in a new place. And you know, my wife and I we weren’t married at that time but then we got married and we had a baby and our life turned out really, really incredible but it wasn’t easy that move. Well, to be honest with you, I’ll just approach this like a long distance relationship breakup. The in person meet ups are a much bigger deal when it comes to long distance relationships. You need to focus a lot of your time and effort into building attractions through those methods and then after you feel like you have built this critical mass of attraction, that’s when you push to meet up in either a neutral state or neutral place or you visit him or he visits you. If you have a job, you have to be willing to maybe take a vacation day or if you don’t have a job that’s great but that brings up to the next point, you need money.
We obviously were trying to meet up because we were in a relationship maybe 6 months before I moved in with her. You know, set up a date where you visit each other and you know—with a normal break up I often say well, the best way to do is there’s got to be three dates, the small date, the medium date and the romantic date. If he’s comfortable and you think you can undergo the physical and emotional stress of moving such a long distance and not knowing anyone and being alone in a certain extent, you’re going to have to try to take some of ‘those risks perhaps or you know it’s sort of a talk that you and your ex have to have when you get to that point but don’t ever talk about that until maybe you see him in person or you got him in the best possible mood you can possible get in and you’re far down the road in the ex recovery process. I think that’s a complete mistake because ultimatums never work and you are self imposing an ultimatum on you. Got a little busy, we recently released a quiz on ex boyfriend recovery.  Basically, that defines what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
I know a lot of women are scared to do that but I think the women who do end up having the courage and the women who are lucky enough to have their question picked on the podcast, get a lot of value out of what I say because I spend basically 20 minutes talking about that situation. You believe he’s going through a quarter life crises which I’m not quite sure I buy it all. I know not necessarily anymore that women’s rights have done a lot for equality and things like that but if you look at the numbers men still earn more than women. I mean I can understand why you did it because maybe you’re upset that he broke up with and you wanted to hurt him that way that he hurts you. I was telling people on the emails, I was telling people on the comments, I was telling people on Youtube, I was telling my wife about it, I was telling my dad about it.
Specifically if you should do the no contact rule in your situation and you seem like you’re really well read.
Now, the biggest misconception about the no contact rule, that I found to be lately is a lot of people just use it to focus on their ex boyfriend but that’s not what it’s for.
And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart.
Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before. I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person.
You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls.
So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. If you were to overhear some real guy-talk, you’d only hear what guys feel comfortable sharing while knowing their manhood may come into question if they say something out of the norm. Guys want to cross everything off the list, if not out of pleasure, then out of morbid curiosity.
It’s exciting, and although it’s a bit risky, it’s worth jumping on your man when he’s least expecting it. I’m talking about someone you’re already with, or at least whom you are sure about being intimate with.
We are constantly looking for the flaws that we perceive all men to have, waiting for that ‘ah ha’ moment when we can say, “See! Put yourself in our shoes, even if that means creating imaginary scenarios that are too farfetched to even possibly be true because there is a good chance that they are. Instead of looking at us like we are weak and could have done better, look at it like it were you we loved first, before our hearts were broken.
Love that wasn’t looking for anything but love in return—not your bank account, cars or prestige.
When you don’t, we put you in the class with the other men, and think you are all the same. They’re an excuse to break out your finest formalwear, drink some champagne, and dance the night away. In 27 Dresses, Bridesmaids and Bachelorette, for instance, the bridesmaids are the cause for concern.
When you’re a bridesmaid, you are up close and personal to all this love action and if you are single, particularly newly single, this may be a little hard to bear. Eating leftover cake is a public service really—food is not wasted and it keeps your mouth too full to utter any potentially cynical remarks. After all, even Cinderella asked for a new dress and a night out—an experience that was added to by the inclusion of the prince twirling her around the dance floor.
Although if you are afraid of looking a little crazy, you can always grab the bride, or whomever you are there for, and try to conquer the dance floor together. While you will hopefully have put some money aside to cover any wedding needs, if you are single, you might also want to keep a friend aside for some company. As a result, the other characters see her as a hopeless romantic who pines for someone she can never have. The bride wants you to be part of her special day, so you need to put her needs before any hurt feelings you may have about being single.
It’s better to figure that out instead of creating a picture inside your head of a life with this person. Their posts may make them seem fun, brilliant cultured and adventurous, but when it comes right down to it, they are just posts.
Sounds good so far, but similar to fairy tales, romantic comedies present unrealistic expectations about life and relationships.
While there is nothing wrong with trying to earn back someone’s affection, it should probably be kept to a minimum. If either of these attributes are missing, or if the effort is only coming from one side, love will not be enough.
Whether we care to admit it or not, we generally watch these types of films because they give us hope that romance might still exist. However, when we know that we are a good person and we know that’s what our man loves about us, aging won’t be scary and we will feel more secure.
Don’t just throw your goals out the window because you’re getting married; you need to keep your passion going.
It’s a big decision, and you want to make sure your man has communication skills, emotional coping skills and a strong sense of self as well. Being able to keep a positive frame of mind will help you to get through the sad and stressful situations that will happen. Here are a few reasons why it might be beneficial to do a little social media snooping on your old flame after a breakup. In fact, recent studies show that nine out of ten people have used social media as a means to keep an eye on their ex. Lurking around on my ex has saved me a few times when I was tempted to call or text when I know I shouldn’t have. Here are a few things you might come to realize after social media spying on your old flame. Maybe he still hits on anything with a pulse, is still a pathological liar or still doesn’t have a real job and is sleeping on his friend’s couch.
Doing a little virtual detective work can help you put things into perspective, see the bigger picture, and help you realize that you don’t need a king to be a true queen. Even your skin and your hair seem to cooperate more, and your clothes fit a little bit better.
You’ll know you’re in love when you’re both trying new things and exploring each other’s bodies and limits. It doesn’t have to be cheesy eye contact or kissing deeply, and it doesn’t have to be slow or sweet. Next time you’re making hot n’ heavy love with your partner, see what subtle cues your body is giving you.
It’s one of the greatest jokes there is because you obviously can’t tell your partner everything, right?
His reaction will tell you if you’ll have to live with his terrible fashion sense for the rest of your fashion-forward life.
So, while this suggestion seems innocent, it’s almost always guaranteed that he’ll interpret it in another way. Sharing the fact that you hate the woman who gave birth to him can make him feel close to you now, but who knows if he’ll hold it against you in the future. As you’re reading this, make sure you also have these qualities so you can be a high caliber lady. He needs to have some tools to monitor his emotions so you don’t become a sounding board for his word vomit. You want him to be able to tell you his goals, but don’t be hard on him if he changes them. If he isn’t willing to open up and be vulnerable, you’re going to have a lot of problems down the road. Clinging all your hopes onto an expectation of what could happen in the future only leads to disappointment.
Part of the problem is that we don’t really want to accept unpalatable truths, which tempts us to opt for blissful ignorance just a little longer.
The problem is that you are wasting your precious life by choosing to just stand around on the ledge, keeping them company. When I think back to the beginning of my fitness journey, my experience with depression (and my ongoing fitness journey!) is the reason this blog exists.


In case you aren’t a regular reader, I recently wrote a book about my depression and what has helped me live a more enjoyable, more fulfilling, happier life. We’re going to be talking about what to do if you find your ex boyfriend has become distant all of sudden. If that’s too much notice, I understand but any help you could offer me would be so much appreciated. So, I guess, this is going to be kind of a unique episode because I’m going to be bringing a lot of my own personal experience to it because I feel like I can relate to your ex boyfriend on some levels but first things first, let’s talk about the 6 o’clock deadline.
You really care for him and like I said, we’re going to do everything we can to help you but the first thing that I want to try to encourage you to do is not rush this process.
So, for your own peace of mind, just accept right now that he’s going to move back but that doesn’t mean that you’re helpless and that you can’t do anything about it.
Now, I was maybe a little bit young and naive when I moved because I had just started to come into some success with the websites. So, what I’m thinking could have happened with your ex boyfriend is that he moved from Missouri, is what you said I believe, to Kansas and the transition was tough for him and maybe you were the one positive part of that move because it takes a while for a human being to kind of sit down under a roof and feel comfortable right?
My wife is the only reason I probably got through it but your boyfriend on the other hand, maybe he just got scared a little bit. You can just text them up and say, “Hey, you want a cup of coffee?”, “Sure, let’s go get a cup of coffee.” Well, you can’t really do that if you’re ex is a state away.
Now, this poses a problem for a lot of people because I think a lot of the people, a lot of the women specifically who come to ex boyfriend recovery don’t exactly have a lot of money.
I just felt like I was—just had my wife and that was it and it takes a while to build that stuff back up. I would say try to get him back, take the long game—if you’re trying to get him back, sorry. I really appreciate what you’ve done for my websites because without you these websites wouldn’t exist. Maybe you wanted to get some sort of validation from him that he cared for you in a deep level and you certainly got that but it really didn’t do anything to help  you with getting him back. Telling him or hurting him like this served no purpose for you other than just getting that validation but the fact that he was on a date with you, the fact that it only took a week of ignoring him to get on this date should have been validation enough that he’s still had feelings for you. Even if you tell him that you lied, even if you explained your reasons for lying, in the back of his mind, he’s not going to believe you. I was really excited about this thing because I really thought it was going to be revolutionary but back to the story, the particular day I was cleaning up my desktop and I happened to put the book that I was writing, the book that I spent a month and a half working on into the trash bin and then I clicked on the trash bin and then I erased it. You lied to him about sleeping with someone else, why you did this, I think my personal belief is you were trying to find some sort of validation that he’s still loved you and maybe you thought this was the best way to bring it out, maybe you were just trying to hurt him. So, what I think you need to do before you enter the no contact rule is let him know that you were lying. Yes, it is for making an ex miss you, it’s for healing an ex’s feelings emotionally, it’s for leveling you out emotionally and that’s—it’s really a two pronged approach in the fact that, yes, you are using it for your ex but you’re also using it for yourself. So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast.
I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past.
I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery. So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing.
I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating.
It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier. A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up.
So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue. They’ll post great experiences while having them and no experiences when they’re just laying in front of the TV, eating junk food. Instead you are supposed to break boundaries and inappropriately make a grand romantic gesture in the person’s garden, home or place or work. It’s true that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but a battle cannot be fought alone.
They are light-hearted, easy to watch and usually have fairly attractive male leads—perfect to pair with some chocolate and a glass of wine if you want a guilty pleasure. We can’t look to men to be our only support, and we really do need to spend time with other people, too. You can take a peaceful communication class and really make it a focus to communicate in a calm and loving way. Often, our insecurities are triggered with our partners but based on an experience we had growing up. If you worry that you will hurt your partner, you need to work on why you’re not able to fully commit. It will take time to process but once you finally understand that things are over for good and he has moved on, you will be much better off.
There are times when the most grownup (and wisest) thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut and restrain from telling your partner any of these nine things. And, you know that when his morale is down, his performance in bed might follow suit—and that’s something you don’t want to deal with, right?
Vent your frustrations about his family to your BFFs because they’ll never get back to him about it. If you feel like you are pining for attention or begging him to hang out with you, the guy is not ready for a relationship. But, while you keep the ideal fantasy of any potential relationship alive, you are selling yourself short when you could be finding someone who it is enough with. We’re going to be hearing from a woman name Morgan, who finds herself in a really interesting situation.
I thought that was a great idea but when he got to Missouri, he started acting weird and distant. I don’t know what to do and I have until 6 o’clock tonight to find a way to influence him to not just leave and then at least hear me out. I know this podcast is geared towards women and women specifically on ex boyfriend recovery but ex boyfriend recovery isn’t the only website I own.
I know it’s hard but trying to get him back in 2 hours and convince him to stop his entire plan of moving back from Kansas to Missouri is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible.
So, maybe he latched onto you and you made him feel comfortable and then he went back to visit his parents and he felt their love and what it was like to be back home and you know he was thinking, “Man, this feels so great.” I don’t think it’s anything against you either Morgan. You know, the answer is—the reason I think he may have potentially pulled something like this is because of the uncomfortableness of moving this big life change blah blah blah… We already got all that. My wife and I just took a trip out to Florida to look for a house to buy and the trip to Florida was not inexpensive. It took me a good maybe two years before I felt like, “Okay, I feel like I’m kind of getting more at home here.” So, if you’re willing to take that kind of risk then I think you should maybe go full steam ahead with what I just tried to explain to you.
I would say long distance relationships have the worst chance at success rates than some of the more general breakups just because of the distance can provide so many extra roadblocks to overcome. One of the things I liked about Morgan’s message was the fact that she kind of got choked up there at the end.
Not only is it a really cool quiz but you’re going to get so much value after you sign up for it. But I don’t want to get into any political debates on what men earn versus what women earn. I could definitely buy into the fact that he was struggling with this career or trying to figure out his life path or what he should do for a career. Believe it or not, even though what you did was stupid, I think it can serve a purpose for getting him back which I’ll cover in a second. You saw what I said about the no contact rule but how every time you do it after the first time it losses some effectiveness and that is certainly going to hold true but the good news for you is you really didn’t do it. Understand everything I teach about the value chain, about how you want to go from the no contact rule, to texting, to after you build attraction through texting, you move up to the phone calls then after you build attraction through the phone calls, you move up to the dates. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy.
Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him.
Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead.
Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. If they are convinced that you liked someone from your past better, it could cause a rift in your relationship that will slowly tear you apart. If the brave knights had ran away at the first sign of the dragons, they would never have rescued the princess, locked in the tower. If we didn’t like you to start with, I promise you, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. When you hear about the internal struggles in their relationships and how they deal with things, it will help you understand your own. You are doing just fine without him, and you can understand that the relationship you once shared was just a lesson learned. There are still many man-children out there ,and we need to know how to steer clear of them. Now, he is telling me that he is not sure that he is in love with me anymore and he is returning to Kansas solely to get his stuff. Now, if you don’t want to take the long game, I completely understand but that’s what I’m going to encourage you to do. I thought I would move maybe from my parent’s house to an apartment, to a house and you know but all within Texas. I remember when we first moved into our apartment in Pennsylvania, we had no furniture and you know I worked from home and my wife at the time worked for an enterprise, a rental car company. You may have been the perfect girlfriend but still like I said moving that long of a distance or moving and going through this drastic life changes can be really difficult on any human being not just your boyfriend or not just men in general. That doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re talking about long distance relationships because and often times, especially if you’re states away, you almost get only one chance, one shot at goal. That long distance way of getting your ex back Morgan but if you’re asking my personal opinion, I think if you can’t handle the fact that you’ll probably end up having to be the one to move to him in the end, I think maybe it might be time to just let him go and not think about it anymore.
Not that I’m like kind of a dick about it like I like seeing people cry, I don’t but it makes me realize how serious people are about getting their exes back because sometimes I get a little removed from that. Basically by through hearing other people’s situations and figuring out what advice that I give to them that you can use for your situations. I would think, “Ok, we’ll she’s telling me that and I can understand why she did that but what if she’s just lying about this as well?” I mean this is the kind of headwind that you’re going to have to overcome if you’re going to try to get this particular ex boyfriend back.
You did it for  a week and then basically got him back and then fumbled it up before you really got him back. What kind of hobbies can you pick up?  What kind of things have you always wanted to do but you never did? Well, he’s already going to be very insecure about you or you telling him and lying to him about sleeping with someone else. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course.
I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule. Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again. So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear. You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review.
If he does that to you, that’s a strong indicator that he wants you to do that for him, too. We want to get this episode out as soon as possible for Morgan, so she can get the advice that she needs to get her ex boyfriend back. I mean, I think on average this process can take between 45-60 days to get your ex back and for those who are listening who are just generally trying to get an ex back or just trying to get, I guess a boyfriend back in any situation you could think of.
She was like a manager there and so she would go to work, probably like at 6 am every single day and then get back at 6 pm or 7 pm.
So, if you’re looking for reasons for why he may have broke up with you and why he maybe thinks you guys want different things out of life, it could be that he just doesn’t feel comfortable. He is moving back to Missouri and you’re in Kansas, so you are basically, if you are going to try and get him back, it’s going to be like kind of a long distance relationship and as far as what to do with the long distance relationship. Well, I try to see her at least once every single month but that required planning on both our parts. You have to make your time with your ex as romantic as possible and you have to do a lot of things like leave him wanting more which is kind of a cool thing about long distance relationships. You said you wanted to know about what the appropriate time was to hash things out with him. So, technically I think it’s going to lose a little bit of the effectiveness for your situation but not much.
Seriously, you should go back into no contact rule and to the no contact rule even if you didn’t contact your ex but you didn’t make any personal strides, you should go back to the no contact rule. The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you.
So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me.
So, on my other website, I actually ended up writing this really interesting article where I took kind of a mock situation where I was thinking, “Well, I’m constantly getting this questions about people who want to get their exes back as soon as possible.” And they rush through the entire process and more often than not, they fall flat on their faces. We needed to make sure that she could get time off and that you know, I guess I had the money to do it. I guess one of the biggest positives is a lot of the time that you get together in person is super romantic. I’m not going to say it’s a great shot because I think him moving back to Kansas for you is not as likely and I don’t know how you feel about moving to Missouri and I feel like that’s a decision that you should come to on your own without any kind of prods or pushes from me. Not that my wife and I ever broke up but the long distance relationship itself is so difficult to manage that it feels like you’re going insane sometimes. I’m thinking about, “Ok, if you do this, this and this it’s going to equal this.” But sometimes it’s good to get the human element. I wouldn't call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. I wouldn’t call it necessarily a newsletter but we completely revamped the emails that you get when you sign up for exboyfriend recovery. We were kind of talking a while after the breakup and then I finally started no contact and within a week of us not speaking, he reached out to me asking if we could talk.
You mentioned something about a quarter life crisis because he doesn’t know what he wants to do in a career which I’m not sure I buy a quarter life crisis thing. To be honest the appropriate time is when he’s in an incredible mood, when he is in such a good mood that you can basically tell him that you murdered someone and he won’t get upset with you.
So, I was feeling really good about myself and I think my wife, she took the baby to her parent’s house to give me some kind of space to work and some peace and quiet to work basically. Usually I’m very secure about the projects I work on or in a specific area of my desktop where I don’t touch them or they sat there and everything. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear.
I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode. So, I took this mock situation to try to figure out what someone could do to get their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back, particularly their ex girlfriend since this was for the ex girlfriend recovery website. It takes time and commitment on your part and even then you’re not guaranteed to get an ex back because no one can guarantee you that. It was actually extremely difficult to move and a lot of times, I wasn’t as happy as I wouldn’t have been, if I hadn’t have moved. So, yeah I think maybe that could have potentially be what’s going on here and why he’s wanting to move back home. So, if you—I guess what I’m trying to say is building this critical mass of attraction is essential but you know, if your ex is states away, then you’re going to have to catch  a last minute flight when you’re trying to ask for this date and last minute flights are typically notorious for being expensive. So, it wasn’t as much of an issue for me but she also had to come visit me and visit my parents. I’m just trying to tell you what I think and what I think is, I think in the future if you are to get him back, I think you would have to be the one to move to him. I’m trying to give you a look at every single aspect of this situation and part of that is just me giving you my personal opinion on your chances. When you do this quiz, you basically get this set of emails that basically defines to your situation what kind of chance you have. And since we’re trying to create this—basically this community where we help people who are trying to get their ex back.
You told him that you slept with someone else to hurt him which obviously it did and you find yourself back at square one. I mean I know they have midlife crises but just to put this to perspective, he’s 26 and I’m 26. I mean there’s nothing scarier than living life without a plan or without a financial plan to back you up.
And I did just that, I started working and I started particularly cleaning up my desktop.  I own an iMac and it’s really cluttered.
But here’s the thing, I was in a great mood that day, so even though, it was a horrible loss which I have since started rewriting the book and that I think it’s even better now than it was but even though it was a horrible loss, I didn’t really feel that upset inside because I was in such a good mood. So, I really think you really have a great chance of almost—even though you’re at square one. For you to make a major mistake like telling him that you slept with someone just proves that you are not ready to get him back.
Let’s say, it’s not a date, it’s just a hang out with one of your guy friends, Dave and you post a picture on Facebook and he comes across this.
Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah.
So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever.
My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. So, she had to have the money to do that and the time to do that but before we even met before, we met online through Facebook through friends.
So, maybe he can be in his comfort zone but at the same time there’s drawbacks to that because you leave your friends and family. So, he’s essentially your high school sweetheart and I could factor into all of this in a second but first let me get to your situation. So, you’re big basic questions here are should you do the no contact rule again and what’s the appropriate time for you to hash things out regarding the issues in your previous relationship and what caused the breakup and things of that nature. So, I think I have a lot of great insight into what he’s thinking or he’s mindset and at 26 years old, I have not had a quarter life crisis though. And men really take that seriously, so I can buy into the fact that he feels a lot of stress about that but it’s not a quarter life crisis.
So, just going forward, if I’m going to help you out, I need to know that you cannot do this again. That’s how important it is to focus on yourself and a lot of women obsess about the no contact rule.
So, a lot of women think, “Ok, will getting my ex back, I have to wait ‘til he’s ready.” But that’s not always the case, sometimes he can be ready and you’re not ready. Well, all you’re going to be doing with that picture or that act is you’re going to be upsetting him to the point where he’s not going to want to be with you because he doesn’t feel like he can trust you.
Part of the reason that I ended up not following the same suit as your boyfriend is that I really had a very deep commitment to my wife.
So, we met online through Facebook through friends and we set up a day about two months in advance where we would meet and it was in Florida at her parent’s house and two months is pretty risky for someone you’ve never met but it’s sort of—it was that critical mass of attraction I was talking about. I’m looking for all sort of lovey dovey adjectives I can think of but—critical mass of attraction maybe the best one.
You leave your support system and you’re in this new strange place where you don’t really know anyone. Everything that I’m trying to do is to help you obviously but sometimes I feel a little over robotic in the way that I think now. I can’t guarantee we do in 24 hours but usually within 2 days, we get to you and you get a response. I put all of my work, all the pictures I do and any book I’m writing is on this desktop and  a few months ago I started rewriting ex boyfriend recovery pro which is kind of the flag ship product.
I think maybe, we’re ready to get him back but you weren’t ready maturely wise to get him back. The name of game here is getting him back but at the same time, showing him that you are the most trustworthy person alive. Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you.
In fact, I think we were engaged maybe within a month of moving in and I was just committed head over heels for this woman. Enough attraction had been built to where we were willing to want to see each other and we set a date to see each other and stuck with the date and I kind of felt like we were dating before we met because we were both kind of committed to not hurting the other person’s feelings like I wouldn’t talk to any other girls at all while I was talking to her because I didn’t want to scare her off and she didn’t want to talk to any other men when she was talking to me because she, one,  didn’t want to scare me off and two, I was the one who had to buy the plane tickets to come see her and she would feel bad if she, I guess flirted or met someone else.
I hate to use that one again but it builds a huge critical mass of attraction on both parties and then all of a sudden one of the people has to go home or both of the people have to go home. Maybe you do know his family but it’s still not the same as having your family there or having your own support systems or network of friends which is something that I learned myself. We’ve had the limits for some of our responses because I think over the Easter holiday, we had something like 400 unanswered emails.
And within two weeks, I kind of prematurely agree to meet with him and we did and it went well. I mean if you’ve ever gone to sleep deprivation with a new baby, you know what I’m talking about. You need to approach a situation where you bring up your previous relationship when he’s in an incredible mood.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. So, I felt like we were kind of in this relationship without being in a relationship yet when we were talking and I feel like that is maybe the best strategy for you Morgan. So, we fell a bit behind which is why I actually came in and started helping out my—some of the other members of the ex-recovery staff in answering some of the emails. However, we’ve been—he then asked me if I have been with anyone else since the breakup and I lied and I said yes, just to hurt him and it did. People are going to be more accepting of bad news when they’re in a good mood as opposed to bad news when they’re in a bad mood.
I took a lot of the complaints I got from people who bought the book and I’m working them in to make sure their complaints get covered and no one ever has an issue. I don’t want to give you false hope because like I said, your chances, it can be as great as some other people’s chances perhaps but I will say, if you were you willing to put everything you have into this, you can get him back for sure. All you had to do was just build up an attraction and get him back but now that you made this mistake, you had the added headwind of making him trust you because even though you didn’t sleep with someone, if he truly believes that which is like I said, he’s going to question everything, you still lied to him. Don’t obsess about anything relating to your situation and I promise things will go better for you. Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. I know you say it’s less effective the more times you do it and also when is the appropriate time to kind of hash things out and talk about the issues that cause the breakup in the first place?
It does and it makes people not trust others.  So, kind of the big thing that you’re going to have to accomplish here is getting him to trust you again and the best way to do that is not to put yourself in a position where you’re around other guys. Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose.
Make it to where—it’s not getting back into ways—I mean a lot of women try to get their exes back—the biggest mistake I see a lot of women trying to get their ex back too soon. That you really didn’t sleep with someone and then after you’ve given that apology, you go into the no contact rule.



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