30.03.2014

How to find out if your girlfriend is using you,best way to get back at a girl lyrics,making new friends toronto 2014 - Reviews

Ricardus and I were discussing men's tendency to want to sleep with sexually open women, but to date or settle down with or marry sexually conservative women - and how difficult it is actually figuring out how many partners women have actually had because of this. It's a form of selective memory used by a woman to preserve her idea about herself as fitting perfectly into society's recommended mold: that of the "good girl" who doesn't give it up too often to men. It can be very difficult to tell what's true and what isn't when it comes to how many partners a woman's had. This is often a really heated topic everywhere I see it discussed: you'll find some people (usually mostly men) insisting that it really is important to know how many men a woman's been with, and others (often a mix of men and women here) protesting that it doesn't matter or shouldn't matter. Here's why I think this is something worth knowing for guys who want a serious relationship (emphasis on serious there) - it's the findings of a study by Lynn F. There was another study I heard of that tied a woman's likelihood of infidelity to her number of partners, rising with each successive partner until she hit eight lifetime partners, at which point her likelihood of infidelity had reached as high as it was going to reach. That's a little doom and gloom for you, which normally I don't like touching on on this site, but it's there for a reason: I want to highlight why knowing a woman's partner count is valuable, because a lot of people get upset that you're even talking about this and tell you to stop.
My recommendation: any time anyone asks you to censor yourself or, worse, censor your thoughts, stop and ask yourself why they'd want you to do that.
I also want to give another warning though, while we're on the topic of warnings: do make sure you see things from the woman's perspective too. But, as it were, how many partners a woman's had doesn't just impact how likely she is to stray.
Over the years, I've had a lot of experiences with a lot of different kinds of women, and I've had girls I've been with open up and admit to me that they lied about how many men they'd actually been with, and I've watched female friends of mine and observed their normal mating behavior over time.
This is actually a more typically human pattern of adapting to something new than anything else; you'll see both men and women display similar personality archetypes about all kinds of things.
And so it is with women and dating: and from what I've seen, much of the time these dispositions towards men, dating, and sex can be tied almost directly to a girl's number of partners, + or - two partners or so. These girls are sweet, though I typically find them a bit too nice and trusting for my own tastes.
They're basically playing love on "Beginner": everything's new and wonderful, and the emotions they feel at this stage are more powerful than they will at any other stage of their romantic careers, because everything feels so outside their control and left up to fate. As a rule of thumb, the less control a person has over something, the more powerful around it his emotions will be (both the good and bad emotions); the more control over it he has, the less potent will be his emotions.
If you're going to date one of these girls, I strongly, strongly recommend only doing it if you're going to be very responsible with her emotions.
I've mishandled things with girls like this a few times myself, and they count as among the few regrets I have in life. She will, however, sometimes put herself in situations where she can be quickly seduced, simply because she's curious to see what will happen. These girls are my favorites for quick pick ups, simply because of the challenge of getting hit with attitude throughout the entire pick up (it makes for a much more rewarding conquest when you finally get them), but I'd never enter into a relationship with one of them (and never have), simply because their views of men, sex, love, dating, and relationships are so warped by dashed dreams and bad experiences that their relationship baggage will eat you alive. I highly recommend staying away from having relationships with women in this phase unless you want to spend most of your time dealing with another person's (your girlfriend's) relationship baggage and then getting blamed for it. Have you ever gotten so good at something - an instrument, a video game, a sport, an art, or heck, even picking up girls - that most of the emotion went out of it and you just saw the Matrix for what it was? They're also a handful in a relationship: they know exactly what they want, and they know exactly what buttons to push with a man to get it.
There's no shortcut and no pretending to be at her level, relationship-wise; you've either got to be there, or you're going to have a fascinating-but-brief relationship with a woman like this, unless, that is, you do exceptionally well at not causing drama and at being her boy toy. Oh, and before you let me know how wrong I am in the comments - that, for instance, you're an extremely confident girl and you've only ever been with three men - stop and think for a minute if you match not the overall definition for confidence, but the one I defined above for confidence about men, dating, sex, and relationships.
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Interesting article, but I can't help think there are more variables at play you seem to be suggesting - especially in the 20+ category.
If a 21 year old girl on the other hand had slept with 20 guys, I wouldn't be surprised if she did indeed have the characteristics you outlined above. It was also me who was very much 'in charge' of the relationship, even though she was a few years older than me. Not saying these categories are all bull by any means, but I'd definitely see them as just a rule of thumb rather than anything hard and fast. Just like a bank looks at a past credit report, so should men look and JUDGE women by their ability or inability to keep their legs closed. Now over time, many girls can become abused, scorned, hurt, influenced by media etc, and they will drift away from their true nature, which is attaching sex to love. I have NEVER met a secure, balanced, confident woman who could just have sex, get up, leave, and feel happy never seeing the person again. Anyway, I have a question regarding what AI pointed out about women that "played the field" before, but now wants to settle.
I am asking because we talked a bit about how many partners and stuff each other had, and she told me that she had about 18 her first year at university.
I think it's bullshit that you go on about having sex with gazillions of women but then write this article about how slutty women are untrustworthy and to be avoided. The reason women who have alot of sex are scornd and men whom have alot are respected, men have to work much harder at getting sex while any decent looking woman can easily walk up to a random guy at a bar and get laid. Don't oversimplify, please, because such simplifications are the root case of all that bullshit and flame wars out there.
That said, I have done 1 in the first category, at least 1 in category 2 and 1 category 3 and most certainly 1 category 4. Women complain about how unfair it is that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women get called sluts for the exact same behavior.
If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or is secretly raising another man’s child. Since the DNA test and the birth control pill didn’t exist until recently, there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage for most of human history.
So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are concrete advantages to men being promiscuous compared to women being promiscuous.
These four reasons explain why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Understand that I’m just explaining why the double standard came into existence and not condoning or condemning it.
Not to be mean but going from unexperienced and shy to experienced and confident is true for basically anything new humans, females and males alike, take up.


I just brook up with a weirdo 3rd category girl, I was laughing while reading, she is almost 95% as mentioned above + she still texting faking dramas !
After almost three months of the relation She realised that she shouldn't be telling me those things !!
Just wanted to add that , there is no need to ask a girl whether she been with "too many " you can tell from her "skin" her "vagina " and the way she behave! The timeless design features horizontal stripes and a mock collar, while the shortened length makes it ideal with high-waisted shorties. You see, women are acutely aware of this male bias against sexually experienced women when it comes to getting into serious relationships - and they do everything in their power to avoid getting pinned as such a woman.
Women who do part with their bodies too easily, society tells women, aren't valued as highly, so it's a big no-no. She can tell you straight-faced and completely believably that she's only ever been with two men, or five men, or six men, when it's actually been a great deal more.
I can't find this study though, so I don't know if it's legitimate or not, and the more I think about it the more I think that it only seems logical to assume a woman who's been with 30 men is probably a lot more likely to stray than a woman who's been with eight.
This means roughly twice the chance of infidelity for a woman with 10 lifetime sexual partners than for a woman with one, three times the chance for a woman with 16 partners, and four times the chance for a woman with 20 partners. Especially on the Internet, people easily fall into the habit of demonizing one another, and lying's one of those things that's easily to demonize. It's like asking a guy how many girls he's slept with; it's almost automatic that he's going to exaggerate up because he's scared of being judged weak and undesirable.
It turns out, at least from everything I've seen, that it in fact impacts a lot of other things in your relationship, too. I eventually identified four personality archetypes when it comes to attitudes about men, sex, dating, and love, that almost every woman fits into. As he gains experience, he becomes more curious about what makes sales work, and realizes there's a lot more to it than he initially thought. Most of them either find a higher quality girl than they were able to get before and settle down in the first or second stage (these are the guys you'll hear announcing that they've found The One, and then you never hear from them again), or they take a stroll down washout lane in the third one (these are the guys you see cynically complaining that pick up doesn't work and it's all looks or money or status that women go for).
She's totally devoted to her man, he's the greatest thing in the world to her, and there's also a good element of guilt and fear mixed in: if she loses him, what if she never finds anyone like him ever again? Remember that her relationship with you is going to be one of the most formative events of her life, and at this point in her relationship career you're going to have a big impact on how her future relationships go. They're often likely to be shy excited girls, who are starting to break out of their shells but not totally broken out yet.
She's also a lot more likely to have fast sex and casual sex, though she's still pretty reserved about these and doesn't actually want them (though she may well be very curious about them). This can happen even if she's in a relationship, sometimes leading to "something happening" that she didn't intend to happen, and a lot of guilt because of it. They'll still tend to put a lot of trust in you, and it's easy to damage that trust - and them, and their future relationships - if you don't handle that well.
They usually blame men for not giving them what they want, and for not appreciating the things they do for them. Rather than thinking, "I did something horrible to my man by cheating on him," they'll think, "It's my MAN's fault that I was driven to cheat! They've got something they want to cover up, and they don't want people digging (contrast this to the two earlier women, who'll feel either A) it's okay to tell the truth because they've had virtually no partners, or B) embarrassed that they've had a few "too many" partners, or contrast this with the last type of woman, who's comfortable with her sexuality and doesn't blame anyone else for the life she's chosen to live). And they're very willing to walk away and won't think twice about it; they might tell a guy they miss him once they're broken up, but there's a good chance they're telling three or four other guys the same thing at the same time.
But, you've got to accept that they're wild women; they didn't get to 20+ partners by accident.
How many partners should she have, and what attitude toward sex and relationships and men should she have? But be prepared for long nights of staring into each other's eyes, and large amounts of emotional dependency.
On the downside, they can still come off a little too trusting if you're more experienced than they are, and a little too conservative.
That said, you'd better be pretty confident and self-assured yourself, and you won't last long if you're the type who stays up late at night worrying whether his girl is splitting time with him and another fellow or not.
But I am saying they think and behave differently, sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes in not-so-subtle ways, than gals with a higher kill count do. Whatever number she states as to number of guys slept with, take that number and multiply by 3. If a 36 year old woman has notched up a 'kill count' of 20, then that's an average of just one guy per year since the age of 16. I don't really consider myself to be an uber dominant man - although I'm flattered if you think otherwise. The reason she can bang so many guys in the past is because she was emotionally "not all there", and more or less already scorned, bitter, etc.. You just took me through the different phases of my life and explained why I look at things the way I do.
I got a bit freaked out by that, however that is now 3 years ago (also an argument she used), and she says she is nothing like that now. I will say though that it makes a decent amount of sense, and that many men, myself included, question the number of partners with the idea that a lower number of partners means a better chance of faithfulness as (if not our main priority) one of our top concerns. A 50 year old who didn't marry could have 13 partners by the scaling logic and be category 3 and be sweet as an angel.
As said above the 3 made my life difficult, the 1 awesome, the 2 interesting and the 4 was a adventure.
She has lied to you by putting herself across as someone who could control her urges but, in truth, is just one dirty public toilet.
It’s actually not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills.
If you reverse genders and have one woman who sleeps around with five men who are monogamous to her, and she gets pregnant, the father could be any of the five men. For this reason society developed a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women, and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against millenia of evolutionary and cultural conditioning here, so don’t expect any dramatic overnight reversals. But, when I triggered her emotional feelings, she was back in the naive category ( probably the 2nd love.) As far as straying is concerned, this depends on sexual market value as well as numbers, even with high numbers, she won't stray if your better than her alternatives.


This is a really generalizing post and in my opinion doesn't help people to deal with relationship Problems at all. Once she mentioned that her "gay" brother use to compete with her who can hock up with more guys over summer !! Thus (to our female commenters below), the importance of an article like this for men at all interested in monogamy. Well, women just automatically exaggerate down, because they're scared of being judged loose and undesirable. With time, he becomes cynical that sales isn't as easy as he thought and he doesn't get the results he thinks he ought to get; it's too confusing, there's too much going on, and it's not fair that it doesn't ever seem to go his way.
Few men make it to the final stage, where they've accepted what they can and cannot do and know how to get the best results for themselves consistently.
Perhaps part of the reason I personally like these girls so much is because it gives me the opportunity to be their "guide," and that can be a lot of fun - you can easily be one of the most positive and influential figures in a woman's life if you reach her in this phase and guide her to more understanding of herself, her body, and romance in general. They've paid their dues with men, and now they're ready to embrace men and dating and intimacy and relationships the way they really are, without putting any undue emotions upon them. Even if they don't go out much, if you're with them long enough they're probably going to stray at some point, and you can't take it personal. You won't be challenged much, which means your relationship will be both easy to manage and not very stimulating. However, I do know a few guys who seem to be - well, not happiest, per se - but perhaps most addicted to the kinds of semi-abusive relationships they end up in with women like this.
Obviously I don't know for sure whether she cheated on me, but all things considered it seems pretty improbable. Even the girl who says she has casual sex without emotions points out the sex she had was with people she was already emotionally connected to, her friends.
We talked a bit more about it, and I arrived at the conclusion that she must at least have slept with 25 guys (she is 23 now).
It's my theory that this is also genetic and why men typically try to settle with non-promiscuous ladies.
He’s definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around. And if one of those men is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he’s investing time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that isn’t carrying his DNA into the next generations, a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break so the slut stigma remains. She’s the one who gets stuck with going through a pregnancy and taking care of a baby alone if she chooses a deadbeat. She though when we first meet that it's "cool" to talk about how her "exs" and how they used to f**k her !! Finally, he comes to accept that people are the way they are, selling is the way it is, and he learns what works, what doesn't, and how people think, and he works within that system to get what he wants. You'll be happier with any of the other three kinds of girls than you will be dating a girl like this. You knew that sometimes things went your way, and sometimes they didn't, and it was no big deal either way, because you knew how to get what you wanted to get in the end? And if you're not a master at relationship control, you're going to relinquish power to them at some point and they'll tire of you quickly. These are the women most likely to engage in hardcore "taming" of their man and who will hate him if he breaks and hate him if he doesn't. I won't bore you with specific details, but I've got greater suspicions about some girls who rank further down the sexual experience ladder. I can imagine that a lot of girls reach this number (at least the ones who have not been in so many long relationships) before they are 30.
I for sure did not like it, but again I like this girl and I do want to believe that girls can change.
A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women.
For this reason, promiscuous women throughout history have historically been viewed as being a vastly more irresponsible risk takers than promiscuous men, who rightly or wrongly could always run away from the consequences of unwanted pregnancies easier than women could. They'll also worriedly tell you about a date they went on or a guy they kissed but didn't mean to much of the time if these things happen, because the guilt is eating them up inside and they can't contain it. Gone are the days when they thought sex was this super-important affair that had to be sacredly guarded. If one women sleeps with many men in a nine month period, she can only get pregnant just once.
I have to agree that an unusually high number of sexual partners in both males and females can mean trouble a lot of the time but as I said it is pretty pointless to generalize like that. Now it's something done recreationally for enjoyment and new experiences and to let off steam.
Fun for challenging and rewarding hook ups, but not so fun if you find yourself dating them. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy.
When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only all these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage. Now if one man sleeps with many women during a nine month period, you can get many pregnancies during that period.
People respect those who accomplish challenging feats, while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained feats as weak, untrustworthy or flawed.
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