21.12.2013

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Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. I have talked a lot about the no contact rule on this website yet I have never really written an in-depth guide covering it. I guess I want to start off by saying that this guide is going to be very unique in that I have never quite written anything like it before for this website. Well, this website is called Ex Girlfriend Recovery meaning that it is mostly focused on helping men get their ex girlfriends back (or even helping them get over their ex girlfriends.) Thus, all of the pages on this website up until this point have been applicable to men attempting to get their ex girlfriends back.
The reason that this guide is unique is that the no contact rule is a universal rule that can be used by both men and women. Of course, this site is made for men so there will always be a bias towards situations in which a man is trying to win his ex girlfriend back but if you are a woman who somehow ended up on this page please don’t be scared away because of the bias. No, often times you have to reconnect with them after no contact, re-build trust, re-build attraction and go on a few dates before they are ready to re-commit to you.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? If you are curious as to how this entire process of winning an ex back works then I highly recommend you read up on it through Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO. I find that every expert out there has a different definition for how they define the no contact rule.
All kidding aside, my definition of the no contact rule has actually changed from when I first started my little online project of helping men and women get back with their exes a few years ago. I am the owner and operator of two websites that help men and women get back with their exes, Ex Boyfriend Recovery and Ex Girlfriend Recovery. I am a firm believer that in order for people to take your advice you have to prove to them that you know a thing or two about what you are talking about so there are my credentials for you as to why you should listen to me on the no contact rule over my peers.
The No Contact Rule- A specific period of time where you ignore your ex in every form imaginable. Now, I would like to break the definition above up into two different sections so I can help you understand what a real NC rule is. Above I pointed out that I have seen the no contact rule used a lot from men and women just like you.
Yes, there are some idiots out there that actually think the no contact rule is permanent until your ex talks to you. Yep, you read that right, they are idiots who are lazy because they refused to read the actual definition. Well, my experience with the no contact rule in the past has taught me some very important lessons. For one, a lot of men and women have trouble completing it which makes a massive no contact rule (like a time period of 60 days) hard to complete. Of course, probably the most important thing that I have learned through my experiences with the no contact rule is that no two situations are alike.
Do you see what I mean when I say that there is truly no such thing as a universal no contact rule? As a result of my knowledge I have came up with three different time periods for the no contact rule that are effective in most situations. This time frame is perfect for a situation where an ex is getting really antsy when you are ignoring them. Of course, you can’t mess around with people like this with long no contact rules like the 30 day rule and the 45 day rule. The 30 day no contact rule is the standard no contact rule that most of the experts out there say to implement. Obviously I also recommend it but not in the same way that most of the other experts out there recommend it but more on that later. Well, if a woman contacts you only once during the NC rule then the 30 day rule is probably ideal. Out of the three different no contact rules that I am recommending here I would say that without a doubt I recommend the 21 day rule the most. The real flaw with the longer no contact rules like the 30 day rule and the 45 day rule is that when you start them you have no idea how your ex is going to react.
Are they going to go crazy and threaten to cut you out of their lives forever or will they be just as stubborn as you?
The 45 day rule is perfect for people who have done something really bad in their relationships. For example, if you cheated on your ex multiple times with multiple different people then something tells me that he or she isn’t going to get over that in 21 days or even 30 days. For example, a regular breakup that ended on pretty decent terms isn’t going to require a 45 day rule. Of course, like I explained above with the 30 day rule I like to tell people that the NC rules are interchangeable on the fly.
The essence of the no contact rule is going to revolve around your ability to ignore your ex.
Basically if you and your ex can somehow get in contact with one another I want you to stay away from them on it. Just so I really hammer this point home I want to give you a common example that I come across. Lets say that you decide to use the 21 day rule no contact rule on your ex and everything is going good and on day 5 your ex reaches out to you.
A few days ago a man who is trying to get his girlfriend back contacted me with a very interesting question. As I said above, there are a few circumstances where no matter what you do you are going to be forced to alter your no contact rule. Below I have compiled a list of all the situations which require you to slightly break the no contact rule and what to do in those situations. Obviously it is going to be impossible to do a full out no contact rule if you work with your ex for a number of reasons but mainly because you have to retain a working relationship with him or her. Lets say that you have decided that you are going to attempt the 21 day rule but you work with your ex.
For 21 days you are going to implement the no contact rule meaning you ignore your exes every attempt of communication towards you. If your ex tries to bring up the relationship then you need to very kindly tell him or her that you are not ready to talk about the relationship yet. After your 21 days are up then you can begin the same re-attraction plan that everyone else on this site goes through after the no contact rule. Usually what happens is that a couple who is living together gets into a massive argument which prompts them to break up and then they are forced to live together in awkwardness until their living situation is worked out. Well, in the instances where you are forced to talk with your ex about something stay away from your past relationship at all costs.
Another situation where I see people having to break the no contact rule is when they share a child with their ex.
If you are in a relationship long enough then most likely the two of you shared things throughout your time together.
First off, any communication or meetup with your ex to exchange items should be only about the items.
You didn’t think you were just going to sit around and wait for the NC to conclude did you? A common mistake I see of my visitors and even my clients is the fact that they are lazy when it comes to the no contact rule. If you were a dating a girl you really loved (I am assuming you are man here since this website is tailored more towards males) and she broke up with you, you would probably be very upset. I want you to adopt this type of a mentality when it comes to your time during the no contact rule. I want you to look at what went wrong in your relationship on your side and shore up your weaknesses. For example, lets say that towards the end of your relationship with your ex you were a bit clingy or you had a bunch of fights over stupid things. Of course, achieving perfection when it comes to exes has more to do then just your mentality. You are using the no contact rule to get your ex back which means your ex already knows who you are to a certain extent.
However, we talked about the samurai mentality above and improving your personality so we have that covered but what I really want for you is to have a crazy before and after moment. The beauty of the no contact rule is that not only does it give you time to work on yourself but it also gives you time away from your ex to have a before and after moment. No, creating a perfect before and after moment is about upgrading your style, grooming, having good hygiene and looking like you are the envy of others. One of the most interesting before and after shots that I have ever seen has to do with the famous celebrity David Beckham. Now, we do have to take into account that in the before picture above Beckham looks to be about 16 and in the after picture he looks to be about 30 but push that aside for a moment.
So, as you can see, it takes more than just losing weight to have a great before and after moment. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. Last weekend she told me one of our colleagues were taking her out on a date and asked if I was okay with it. Also to add to that I wanted to ask if I go through that whole no contact how would I reestablish contact since I kinda said not to talk anymore? I was with my girlfriend for a year where we went travelling together for 3 months and spent a lot of time together. Hi Gf has just broken up with me, I am doing the 30 NC we have been together for 2 years, I became clingy and she left me saying she doesn’t feel the same. Be active during nc..be happy ?? improve yourself, change your appearance and be proactive ok? Believe it or not but there are actually a lot of different ways to discover why your ex boyfriend may be ignoring you. In this article I am going to be helping you understand why your ex boyfriend is ignoring your numerous attempts to reach out and contact him. If you have read my site then you would know I am a big fan of texting to get an ex boyfriend back. The main problem here is that if you are sending that many messages without any responses it makes you look totally desperate.
I want you to really notice here that in this example the other person is actually engaged in the messaging and that means it is ok to keep messaging them without seeming desperate or needy. The second really unattractive quality that women can display when texting too much is the fact that there is no chase involved. I hope you read the section above because this one is almost exactly the same except you are dealing with calling instead of texting.
I used to think I was alone in this but I soon learned that other guys are exactly like me. Generally speaking, someone who is calling you a lot (back to back to back.) Has two types of news. Since you are an ex girlfriend of his I am betting that your call is going to be filled with emotion and bad news. Sadly I have personal experience with a girl calling too much and I can tell you there is nothing more unattractive and annoying. Part of the problem that men have with women calling too much is that they know if they pick up the phone they are going to have to talk to a really emotional human being and while some men will get off on it most of us despise it.
Again, the one thing that all of this stuff (texting, calling, letters, emails) have in common is the fact that they are all actions taken out of desperation and que the Jaws music! Unfortunately, I don’t have much personal experience with ex girlfriends writing me too many letters or sending too many emails. In the section above I talked about some of the main reasons that an ex boyfriend would ignore his girlfriend (desperation, neediness that whole thing.) I am not going to lie to you, in 85% of the cases everything I discussed above is the main reason that he would want to ignore you. When men start ignoring you on purpose it is coming from a place of rage just because they know it will punish you.
It is not something I am very proud of and I would handle that situation completely differently now but I wanted to prove to you that deep down all men are capable of something like that so it could be a reason that he is ignoring you. All I can tell you is that it is highly unlikely (but still likely) that your ex is ignoring you for this reason. It might be possible that your ex boyfriend wants nothing to do with you anymore which is why he is ignoring you.
Anyways, the real warning sign that you can use to figure out if this is the reason your ex is ignoring you is to think back to your relationship and figure out the ways in which you wronged him. Realistically, the only way I would NOT talk to an ex girlfriend is if she wronged me in a horrible way. I can honestly say that in all my time here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I have never encountered a situation where an ex boyfriend never talks to an ex girlfriend again.
When your ex finally does contact you he can contact you the good way, the bad way or the ugly way (see what I did there ?? .) I am going to take a moment to explore each one. The first step to getting your ex boyfriend to respond to you in a positive manner is to implement the no contact rule. The first thing I want you to realize is that the general texts that you are used to sending aren’t good enough. Actually, to be honest, I have never talked about this text before so this is the first time I have ever made it live.
Take notice how I included an innocent but pleasant memory from a past relationship in this example.


Now, once he does respond positively you have accomplished your mission and he isn’t ignoring you anymore!
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
In the end of February , he decided to breakup with me saying that he wasnt sure and that he couldnt see any future on our relationship.I did the NC for 2 weeks , after that time, I texted him asking how he was and he replied after a day .
I had been in a bumpy long distance relationship for about 3 years and a half, and last December I ask him to decide whether or not he wanted to continue our relationship. I’ve seen him each Thursday at a group event, when everyone leaves him and I have stayed in the parking lot for another 2 hours talking until 930pm.
Well, that mistake ends today as this is going to be the most complete guide ever created on the no contact rule. Thus, the information that I am providing on this page can be applied by both men and women in their relationships. A lot of my readers make the mistake of believing that completing the no contact rule is all that they need to do in order to win their exes affections back. In fact, I would say that just by completing the no contact rule you are only through half the battle.
You see, when I first started advising people I only knew the bare minimum about the no contact rule and while I was able to help a lot of people with my knowledge I really didn’t know as much as I do now. Through these two sites I have been able to see the no contact rule performed thousands of times. So, as you can see I have literally seen over 40,000 situations involving exes most of which involved the no contact rule.
The complications to it really come in when you add other extracurricular factors into the equation. Also, if you use a long no contact time period (like the 60 days one) the risk of your ex moving on to someone else is a lot higher. However, it is really up to YOU to choose which one of these no contact rules are perfect for your situation.
For example, lets say that you start your no contact rule and on day one your ex texts you.
Instead just know that for someone like this, someone who is really troubled by your lack of attention to them, the 21 day rule is perfect because it allows enough time to go by for them to miss you and also for you to regain some control of the situation. While you may be able to get away with the 30 day rule you aren’t likely to get away with the 45 day rule with an ex who requires attention on this level. The 30 day period is perfect for women who don’t contact you very much during the no contact period.
Of course, my experience has taught me a pretty clever trick when it comes to the 30 day rule. Lets say that you decide that you want to implement the no contact rule for 30 days and your ex goes crazy by contacting you 10 times.
If your ex doesn’t contact you at all you can extend your no contact rule from 21 days to 30 or 45 days.
So, if you find that your ex is really getting antsy about you ignoring him or her you might be better off altering the no contact rule to a shorter time frame. That means that if they contact you, you have to ignore them and if you feel the urge to contact them you cannot. Luckily, 75% of you won’t have to alter your no contact rule but for those of you that will this section is for you. I can’t tell you how many times I get questions about how to approach this situation on a daily basis.
The question you are wondering at this point is if no contact is even going to be possible for you. In the instances where work forces you to communicate with each other then it is ok to communicate as long as you keep it strictly about the business. A lot of the effectiveness of the no contact rule here is going to depend on how you handle your no contact rule alteration. Don’t project a negative vibe because people are turned off by someone with a negative vibe. Remember, be friendly and nice but also be kind of short until your no contact time period has completed.
However, if you find yourself in this situation then there are a few guidelines that you have to follow. Well, during the no contact rule I want you to adjust your mindset to where you won’t be clingy and where you wont take insignificant stuff so personally that you are willing to fight over it.
Now, a lot of people out there are going to tell you that who you are on the inside is what really matters and while I definitely agree with them I think that in order for people to see who you are on the inside you have to first convince them on the outside. Well, after the no contact rule your aim is to shatter their view of you and create a new one.
Throughout the month she has gone on a liking spree on my social media on two separate occasions and drunk dialed me once, saying that she loves and misses me but doesn’t know what she wants. I want to ask you a question, you see I was very close to a friend of mine in fact stated that we were in love, but we were still at a school that forbids relationships, a kind of semi military school. The last two months of our relationship consisted of her becoming increasingly distant and denying that there were any issues. Do you think I should end NC at her birthday and begin gradually texting to rebuild attraction after, or do you think I should wish her happy birthday but then remain in NC until she reaches out to me first, no matter how long that is? I had a couple of weeks where I was a bit distant, she had work issues and she decided to break up with me and go back home to Italy for a month. Ex and I broke up about 5 months ago, she’s been talking to this guy she met up with a couple days after we broke up and finally posted them together a couple days ago.
My ex girlfriend, only of a short term relationship 3 months or so broke up with me, I think I was a bit keen.
Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I am sad to say that I see a lot of this (ex boyfriends ignoring their ex girlfriends) thus it would be an understatement to say that I am experienced at diving in to the male mind and dissecting it.
In the movie John Williams composed a score for Steven Spielberg that has gone on to become a classic.
Anyways, any time women call, text or show up unannounced to their ex boyfriends house I picture that music playing. I really want you to understand this section so I am going to define common desperate actions that ex girlfriends take and look at them from a males perspective. A girl who has to message someone that much is displaying two qualities that are a turnoff to every human being on this planet. It is like they hand you a cheat code and you lose all your interest after a certain amount of time. So, the other big mistake that women make that can cause their ex boyfriend to want to ignore them is spamming his phone with calls.
Not only will it creep me out on a level I have never known before but I am really not going to pick up a phone now. You can tell all of that over the phone (and with a text you would have no clue.) I wanted to point this element out because I feel it adds to the fact that he may be ignoring you.
I think back and those experiences and just cringe because that is how uncomfortable they made me.
He didn’t laugh to her face, he laughed behind her back and even showed me the letter making fun of some of the heartfelt words that she had said.
If they don’t get their way in a relationship (or even after one) they will find ways to manipulate you emotionally. It was in my very first relationship ever and as you can imagine, that version of me was not a great guy. Women who wind up in situations like this have typically wronged their ex in horrific ways. Of course, I said that above but I failed to go into the actual ways in which women can wrong men. It is highly unlikely that your ex is going to drop off the face of the earth and never contact you again.
An ugly response isn’t one where he just dismisses you it is one where he also disses you. What if I told you that I have found a way that allows you to accomplish that while remaining in control? The experts will tell you that you have to send interesting texts that will capture his attention. This is important because it will bring up nostalgic feelings in your ex and he can’t help but want to respond positively! Just a little information: in October last year he joined the military and we were unable to communicate until December when he had two weeks off for Christmas. The first month was amazing, spent tons of time together talked about a lot of life wants, goals, great chemistry. My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago because he said he just didn’t feel the same way he did when we first started going out. I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. I mean, wouldn’t it be weird to expect that your ex would want you back after you ignored them for a certain amount of time?
So much so that I wrote up a 30,000 word guide that pretty much walks you through the entire process of winning an ex back. As a result of dealing with this many situations I was able to figure out a lot about what works about the no contact rule and what doesn’t work with it but perhaps the most important thing I was able to get was what you can do to shore up the weaknesses of the no contact rule. However, at the same time if you come back to your ex too soon with a super short no contact period then not enough time has passed for them to realistically want to take you back. For example, someone who really needs space or needs to be alone for a long period of time will react better to a 45 day no contact rule versus a 21 day one. Most of the gurus out there that teach people about the no contact rule are iron clad about their beliefs on it.
The real reason is the fact that most people end up going crazy when you ignore them and the 21 day rule is perfect for dealing with people like that. Well, in this case I think it would be smart to alter your no contact rule down to 21 days.
The only time that you would ever be able to contact them is after your no contact period has completed. So, while you are ignoring your ex boyfriend or girlfriend you should also simultaneously be working on yourself to be the best version of yourself that ever existed.
What I want to know is based on this should I even bother and if I should how long should I make the no contact (assuming that is the first step I should take)? And that she wanted to focus on school first and we promised to be have a status after we graduated. Finally she broke up with me telling me the spark is gone and she doesn’t see a future with me. It seems like a really small thing to break up over and I texted her most days trying to make conversation and get her back. Oh, and it also helps that I am a male myself so I kind of know what I am talking about ;). I want to give you a few steps going forward that you can implement to improve your chances of getting him to speak to you. Men can sense desperation and your desperate activities are the equivalent to blood in the water for a shark. Given a choice between someone texting too much vs someone calling too much I would always choose texting too much. Now, if she had tried a different approach she would have had him on his hands and knees begging for her back (I know my buddy, trust me it is possible.) However, she tried the desperate approach and this is what happens when you go full on desperate, you get laughed at behind your back. Anyways, I didn’t like the way the relationship was going so I ended up ignoring my girlfriend for an entire day. Essentially how this works is that your ex boyfriend is using the no contact rule on you on purpose. I have a buddy whose wife actually cheated on him eight different times with eight different men.
If a woman did any of the following things to me I would seriously consider cutting her out of my life.
First off, remember way back when I talked about how desperate women are the number one turnoff that makes men ignore their exes?
By essentially implementing a no contact rule you can get him to scramble for your approval instead. If you have successfully completed the no contact rule for thirty days then you are going to go on the offensive again but this time you are going to do it my way. Initially, when you send this text message out you aren’t going to get a positive response right off the bat. If he does respond then you are going to take out a stopwatch or phone and wait between 30-60 minutes. It is the equivalent to having an audience on the edge of their seat waiting to find out what happens next. The second month he became a little distant and shared he was afraid he was falling into the same pattern and wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.
We met about a year ago when we started working together and I liked pretty much from the first time we talked and I’m thinking it was the same for him.
Back in January, we stopped talking for a month which was the longest we hadn’t talked in two years.


I do not know what to do, I want to talk to him but at the same time the whole situation I’m lost. Of course, then we can look at the other side of the coin when you have a person who can’t go very long without interaction. He looks like he has gotten his fair share of sun in the after picture while in the before picture he is a bit paler. Since I last commented things continued to go up and down in the same fashion that they were and we were friends with benefits. The first 4 months went on perfectly, but sometimes she had troubles with my behavior, well i had change it and we went on better, and then one day, on the 9th month, she told me that we should cancel the promise and let everything flow, because she didnt wether we woill end up together or not, and then on the february, she stated that she still hated my old behavior that ive been trying to change, maybe it wasnt really convincing, the changing but in still trying because ive never been in a relationahip before, believe me or not, and then she said that we needed time apart, and we did but my fault was i kept checking on her days after days, and one day she said that its better for us to be friends, but back at class she ignored me like hell and when i asked why she just said nothing, and that it was nothing at all, but during lomg holidays when we were chatting she texted me with short replies, but everytime i stop chatting her, she called me back, and it continued for 2 months its like shes slowly slipping away from me, before finally i talked it to her and she answered that she no longer holds any feelings for me and told me that she doesnt have to repay the love ive given, and because it was late at night she told me to end the conversation but i mistakened it to end the relationship, and so begun the game me and her ignoring each other for about a month, but during that one month i always tried to find out who she was dating anew, but that curiosity made her i think a bit disturbed and that she confronted me 6 days ago, and that she told me again that has no longer retain any feelings for me and that shes currently not liking anyone else and that she said that shes the type of girl that judges boys, the pros and cons of that boy and decides if hes worthy, and that if theres something wrong about him and if she likes him she’ll repair it, but unfortunately she found out something about me at a bad time, when were apart, and that made cant continue the relationship with me and that we finally forgave each other and agreed being just friends. For 6 weeks after our breakup she continued to send me mixed messages and tell me she needed time and didn’t make a ‘decision’ and was not moving on. We have been split apart for 5 weeks now and she only started ignoring me last weekend when I asked to meet her. Before NC she said she was done with me and was really mean about a personal issue going on in my life. It was my idea as the chances of us being together were really small in future and it was bothering her a lot, so i broke up as i thought she wont be able to take the guilt of breaking up.
Essentially, this is a person who texts multiple times, even though they don’t get a response.
However, when I get too much attention from them (in the form of texting) it becomes a complete turnoff.
I understand that women are emotional by nature but when you show that much desperation, guys begin to get really scary thoughts.
Unfortunately, a lot of times what happens is when you get a girl who sends a lot of unanswered texts that leads to her calling way too much. One way that exes know they can get under your skin is to simply ignore you for a couple of days. I didn’t do it because I needed a break or a refresh, which I think would be ok, I did it from a place of anger to punish my girlfriend. It is one of those rare cases where you kind of want him back and he kind of wants you back. So, this is one case where I am the exception to the rule and my insight kind of suffers because of it. I like to tell my visitors that any text you send him has to be so interesting that it would be impossible for him to ignore it. I was always honnest with him saying that I wanted a serious relayionship and that I wanted to have children. A few days later I texted asking him again how he was and since then he never replied , it has been nearly 4 weeks .
He had a girlfriend at the time but after about 3 months of knowing each other, he kissed me. Before that happened I was always complaining about him not having enough time for me for months because of his job. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. I texted her the next day to say that I do not want her to contact me unless she is sober and truly meant what she said. She continued to reassure me that she (no bs) loved me and all that and things were alright but I was still stuck wanting more but not getting anywhere. And then 2 days ago i started chatting her again, she ifnored me like hell, when i asked why she said that this is the real her, a quite girl, but on the contrary shes a really fun person. She had been distant but started to open up to me again just before she started to ignore me.
I took the liberty of locating a text gnat for you so you can better understand what I am talking about here.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? However, if someone were to give me all the cheat codes to the game it no longer becomes as fun. Now, I do want to point out that this is essentially the same thing I recommend doing with the no contact rule. In the end, I think he was just confused about what he wanted and he stuck with his girlfriend. I broke the ice sending him a picture of something i knew he liked and telling him i thought he might like it. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on.
When you know everything is behind then you can start over as friends but don’t be friends with benefits again. I did though when we were still in a close condition told my friend that i kinda like he older her when she was still quiter than the current. After some weeks she wanted to get back, but i denied, not coz i didnt want to get back, coz i knew she wont be able to handle the stress of future again n we ll have these pointless discussions again.
Sure, it may be a little fun at first but eventually when the cheat codes make it that easy to complete I will lose interest.
If you acted desperate your ex would have gotten into the routine of ignoring you because you were desperate. He helped me with a fundraiser I was putting on and was so helpful and supportive, over the summer we’d see each other or text every week.
I tried not to be needy and I did good for a while but he never gives me answers to any of my questions and he rarely replies to me.
The once a week call would nor even reach 1 hour because he’s tired and had to work overtime. And now I’ve noticed that she took down a couple of our photos and has uploaded provocative photos on her social media. The break up was also a bad decesion as i also failed my exams n all that negativity was also affecting me a lot n i cudnt think straight.
If I am in that kind of mood then trust me, you aren’t going to get me to talk on the phone. When you do something like the no contact rule you really don’t want to ignore your ex boyfriend, you want to give him time to calm down and also improve yourself in the process. So, when you stop acting desperate he is going to perk his head up and try to sniff out the reason why you stopped being desperate. I used the time to improve my self by going to the gym, buying new clothes and working on being confident.
The end of summer he dropped away and when I reached out he didn’t respond then at an event he ignored me all day.
We started talking again and then slowly started flirting again (really, the attraction has always been mutual and there) and became pretty close. Last week I ended up losing it and sent too many texts which led him to say that I’m cut off but I called 5 days later and he answered. I saw him a couple of weeks ago (by accident) and we exchanged a couple of words and he seemed friendly and interested in my life. I’ve been doing a great job at improving myself throughout the NC period and can honestly say I am in the best physical shape of my life.
My birthday is next week on the 20th day of this 21 day NC and if she texts me do I ignore that? I wrote him friday about something i did that day that reminded me of a funny memory we had togeyher. I reached out One last time and he said he was leaving town for a month and to have a good rest of summer.
I called once everyday for three days and on the third day he just didn’t seem interested in calling so I lost it again and called many times. The day after I texted him again just to see how he was and I was getting pretty neutral responses.
That situation made me texted him and asked him if it could be possible to meet to catch up and he answered he is out of town and when he comes back he’ll be busy.
I really want to ask her to meet for a coffee so she can see this is stupid but maybe it is a bad idea. He told me he didn’t have an answer yet, and he said he would be able to talk to me in a month or so when he has a weekend off.
Fall came around and I needed closure so I wrote him an email sharing my thoughts and how I had feelings that whole time.
I asked him if everything was okay with us and he told me that yes and that hes good but that he texted me on this day and never got a response so he wasn’t sure. I asked me what situation we were in, and he said I wanted to take a break, so we were taking a break.
A couple of days after I accidentally found out that he has a facebook account without my knowledge when I installed facebook messenger but when I asked him about it, he simply changed his account name and privacy setting. 10 months into our 2 year relationship, while traveling out of the country with friends, we stayed at an apartment with two girls. Then i wanted to get back, i made her sure that I will do everything to make the future happen, I apologised for being a jerk, but she denied n said she needs space n wants to be alone n away from expectations and on her own terms.
A month passed by and he didn’t contact me, so I emailed him saying that I was done waiting for his answer that never came. We talked for maybe half the day but I feel like I was the one trying to keep the conversation alive. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. The one girl offered for me to sleep in her bed instead of the hardwood floor and I accepted the offer.
I told her that I ll leave the door open n if she ever changes her mind about getting back, she should tell me. Oh, I did that because he was constantly posting things on Facebook, so I knew he had free time.
We didnt talk much, she did call me rarely to ask about some study related stuff as she is my junior in college.
Then I said sorry and brought up the facebook thing saying that he must be hiding something from me. Yesterday she asked me where her cooler was (I had it and locked it up in my car with all of my other stuff).
I was not physically or emotionally involved with this girl – we literally just slept on the same surface. But last day she went home n we had a long video chat, ended up having phone sex on the chat, n the day after.
But after that she said she felt guilty and we shudnot do it, she didnt change her mind n refused to get back together, i thought she has finally agreed to be together, but she didnt.
He said that im the amazing person he has ever known, and he has never had these feelings for anyone before. He got extremely upset when he found out she had a new boyfriend so I thought I should back off a little.
And two weeks after I sent him a message about something that remind me of him, and I asked him if this is really what he wanted. My ex saw I was friends with this girl on Social Media, saw that she had messaged me (probably something like ‘hope you made it back to the USA alright’) and asked me who she is. He said that I didn’t make an effort and I never made a move on any of the hints he was giving me. So after she told me she was banging our mutual friend, I told her that I had actually slept in this girls bed but that nothing happened.
She was obviously hurt, but I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest so we could reconcile and since I didn’t actually cheat it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I was so worried about how he was feeling and giving him space that I never thought about voicing what I wanted. Nothing crazy, just the kind of upset you’d be when you find out someone you really wanted to be with is with someone else because you were too afraid to make a move. He told me that if I thought it was unfair that I should’ve done something about it and that I needed to be an adult and accept it. I just want to end this but I’m not sure if writing a break up letter would be the best thing to do. I’ve went by work a couple of times and just tried to have a casual conversation and it was the worst. I helped him through a lot, was there listening to his problems, helped him get someone to talk to. Next weekend will be 30 days since I sent my response to her letter, and 21 days since I asked if she received it, but her birthday is also coming up the following weekend which would be 30 days since I asked if she received the letter and 37 since I actually sent it. I think maybe part of it is that he still has feelings for me, that doesn’t go away after two weeks. Not sure if I should continue NC until she reaches out to me, or end NC a week before her birthday so that there is a build up before her birthday rather than randomly wishing her a happy b-day after NC, or the alternative which is not reaching out at all or doing a longer 45 day NC and reaching out after her birthday.
I am also afraid she might move home to be with her family soon because she doesn’t have many close friends in our city and her father is ill and she has been visiting home a lot. I have been ignoring her on Instagram (she posts like nothing is wrong), but she recently liked a very flattering selfie that I posted a week ago.



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