07.11.2015

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Last week there was a news article about a man in New Mexico who took out a billboard accusing his ex-girlfriend of having an abortion without his knowledge (pictured above). This billboard has also sparked a new debate about the limits of “free speech” and privacy rights. Specific to the questions I asked above, my opinion is that if a woman gets pregnant – and she knows who the father is – she should tell him. I would hope that whenever I get a woman pregnant it would be someone I can see myself being with or at least someone I can stand having in my life for a minimum of 18 years.
This story brought up an interesting discussion on a talk radio show I frequently listen to from a perspective I had really only passively considered.
There are circumstances when an unplanned pregnancy at that particular time although you two are married can still have it setbacks ( affordability, continuing education, not ready to be parants just yet, already have an infant, etc.) so an abortion is usually the next step.
This is tough but as a man, I must say I agree with your stance on not making decisions on whether a woman keeps a pregnancy or not. BUT I do feel that if there was clear communication beforehand that the man did not want children, it is not fair for the woman to make a choice for him. But it seems you believe if a man says he doesn't want a kid he should be immediately taken to get a VASECTOMY!? But it seems you believe if a man says he doesn’t want a kid he should be immediately taken to get a VASECTOMY!? I don’t quite understand what the point was to this blog, other than to announce that some guy in some state put up some sign about some chick aborting his child. He stated the news story, gave background, gave his opinion on the subject matter from his perspective, and left it to the readers to discuss. I like that the radio host even thought to mention the aspect of the man being on the hook regardless of his wishes. My thoughts on a solution are: if the father is known or the parents are not married prior to whatever the cut off is for abortion and he does NOT choose to support, then child support should be limited.
SHE'S THE ONE PREGNANT AND SHOWING, and statistically, the receiver is at higher risk for contracting STI's! From the moment you choose to proceed, your gripings about whether or not u choose to support is an exercise in futility. We don't have any rights in this scenario and women are completely content about this double standard. I said in that EXACT SAME post that you're quoting to abstain from sex or learn to enjoy gay sex.
I personally think it is not COMPLETELY the government's responsibility to support women with children. If I were ever put in a position in which I had an unexpected pregnancy that I wished to terminate, many factors would come in to play in regards to if I'd tell the father.
I would hope and pray that I NEVER have a child out of wedlock, but if I did then I think that I would consider what the father had to say but ultimately it would be my decision. Hm…If I was pregnant by a man I was not in a relationship(that was long term and serious) with and I wanted to abort, I would not tell him. KevLow: Will the law require her to pay him child support (even though she didn’t want the child)? I know women that pay child support… I think as long as they do not have some type of agreement in which she gives up all rights she would have to pay. I hate the whole abortion debate because this (among others) is a topic where its hard if even possible to both be objective and take a side. As for men, sorry to say but my opinion is that having a baby is an unpredictable outcome of having sex. But that's how it is in the West where our laws our based off what the majority of woman want in these particular circumstances. From an ethical standpoint, the health of the mother is number one, including her mental health.
Thanks to Roe vs Wade, a woman has the right to make the DECISION as to whether to abort her unborn fetus up until viability (fetus able to live outside the womb). You mentioned that if you didn't want the child and she decided to keep it, don't you have any say so?
I know u asked for opinions beyond the legal issues, but honestly, we all know what the moral code should look like. And unfortunately, the law makes it a double standard for the would-be-father, but the mother is the one who carries all the risks and therefore, she should have to make the decision for her mental and physical health.
Legislation regarding abortion, child support and custody is wholly biased in favor of women. Yes there has been passive b*tching and moaning…which at the end of the day still equates to the same thing. The women also had a choice to sleep with a man who put a ring on her finger and not sleep with that guy as well. Also I know when you are married that your husband has to sign papers with you to get your tubes tied because it’s a permanent procedure but what about if you want to get an abortion?


Let us agree to ignore the fact that this is a strange looking fellow and, judging by his means of announcing this to the world, doesn’t seem particularly bright.
Actually, his girlfriend sued him, but I believe he will win because the billboard does not name the ex-girlfriend. On the other hand, I know “sh*t happens,” which is why I try to minimize placing my [Richard] in women I don’t like. The host, a woman, pointed out that while a woman can choose to keep the baby or not the man has absolutely no (legally defensible) choice in deciding if he wants to pay child support or not. I speaking of situations in which preventative measures have been used and pregnancy occurs any way.
If you miss your pills for a few days, you should not be having sex or at least wear a condom if you don't want to get pregnant during that time.
Why should I completely cross ANY choice of having my own children in the future because at one point I didn't want children.
Do most of the ladies here plan to just always go through with the child if they get pregnant or always want that option open? Further, I provided some general thoughts and discussion points that the story has generated both within myself and in the public that I found interesting. I'm criticizing the writing because it is deserving of criticism based on its content and form. To criticize the writing style with erroneous statements make you look less credible in your argument. She could have be on the pill without his knowledge and then there is no baby issue to debate.
They are told by the women who are pregnant whether are not they are involved based on if they tell the man and the United States legal system. There should be more discussion in the AA community about the importance of BC and the realities of an active sex life. TANF(welfare) isn't doing its job to care for women and children in poverty and our people are not being properly informed about birth control and they are not getting proper sex education.
A lot of women don't completely take into consideration all of the issues that arise just because of sex. If he didn't want to have anything to do with the kid then I would just tell him to kick rocks and never come around me or my child ever again and he could keep his money.
If she doesnt want the child(even after the child is born) and he does, is he willing to have sole custody?
Will the law require her to pay him child support (even though she didn't want the child)? So i can understand why the ball is ultimately in her court when it comes time to make the decision.
Adoption alludes to the fact that the WOMAN not the man, endured 9 months of pregnancy (which has its own health and social stigmas) and childbirth.
That would kill a lot of these single parent homes, men that hate woman, woman that hate men, and children that end up becoming negative due to growing up in a negative environment where both parents didn't want the child.
An abortion during the 3rd trimester is only indicated if the mother's health is in danger. As an adult, becoming pregnant now should not come as a surprise when acts are pro-creation are exercised! As far as getting pregnant goes it’s both parties fault there is protection for men and women.
When there are MANY couples who're dying to have kids and can't, why not put your child in a better situation and give them a better life? In fact, had she not sued him no one outside of their friends would even know who she is. Furthermore, I think the Supreme Court’s dumb decision earlier this year to allow the Westboro Baptist Church to protest at military funerals under the protection of Free Speech set the kind of precedent that will allow this type of billboard (and worse) to exist under the protection of law. However, in real life, I have had more than one woman tell me that if she got pregnant she wouldn’t tell me. In other words, if he wants to have the baby but the woman does not she can have an abortion without his consent.
Just turn this into a news aggregation piece and refer the reader to AP or Reuters rather cutting and pasting parts of the story along with your neutral ruminations.
In this instance, I was more interested in people's opinions rather than listening to myself talk.
Honestly, I feel you are fishing in vain for an emotional reaction but to be frank, you are not significant enough to me to invoke that in which you seek. But the fact is many guys get stuck with the chick that feels like having a child when he does not want one. Now if they get married he assumes full responsibility or he can sign papers indicating he accepts the full responsibility with no contest. The best advice you can give is to find a way to enjoy sex with another man or abstain from sex entirely if you don't want the next 2 decades of your life put into the hands of other person that you have no ability in having a say about.
Policies would have to be made and public perception would have to be shifted so that AA babies would be desirable adoption options.


There is so much birth control being GIVEN away for FREE, that there should not be unplanned pregnancies to begin with. But I dont plan on having any biological children of my own, so I make sure pregnancy wont be an issue with me. If the woman can financially provide for her child and has a male role for it, then perhaps a dude wanting the kid is irrelevant.
I dont see why a man would convince a woman to keep the child if he didnt want it but stranger things have happened.
But i do think that if the father is known, regardless of the relationship status that is shared, he should be consulted about the final decision.
I hate debates like this because the solution is usually based off what the majority of the female consensus is. All you have to do is turn on Maury to see how many lopsided parental situations come up due to two people having unprotected sex.
It's always a risk and the possibility should be discussed beforehand, inasmuch as possible. There hasn't been a male poster thus far who is hanging his head because of lack of equal rights.
And my comment regarding what people are upset about (the man not wanting the baby vs the woman not wanting the baby) is both in regards to the comments here and observations in real life. If both men and women would have a discussion before having sex with each other about pregnancy and what should be done if such occurs (some do but many don’t) I think it would save both parties a head ache. Let’s focus on the issues at hand, such as: 1) When a woman gets pregnant, is she obligated to tell the man?
They had their various reasons but fortunately – well, as far as I know – these hypothetical situations never came to fruition.
Conversely, if he does not want to have a baby, the woman can still have the child and legally force him to pay 18 years of child support despite the fact that he clearly stated from the beginning that he did not want a child. That's the same thing with condoms, 2% error if used properly but 10% accounting for user error.
Back in the early 2000s, it was said that to raise a child it took over $500,000 per child.
Therefore, legally, the woman has no obligation to inform her seed donor of her pregnant status and her desire to have an abortion. Unless she fell into a coma while she was pregnant, and named you as the surrogate decision maker in her advanced directive, then it's still her decision. I just don’t buy into the mindset that I have the right to tell a woman what to do or what not to do with her body for 9 months and if she decides to keep it, as opposed to giving the baby up for adoption or having an abortion, then that decision may affect her for the rest of her life. Beyond the legalese, in your opinion, should a man be forced to pay child support regardless of if he stated from the beginning he did not want to have kids? Both individuals made clear what they want out of the relationship, why is the man at fault if the woman decided to continue with a man who did not want children. The same way you jump on a sports blog and clown somebody for having a bad game or criticize a sportswriter for his analysis of a game.
Seriously, thoughts like this coming from an adult who thinks he's grown is what really saddens me. Instead of putting money into billboards we should put money towards education, social services and government agencies!!! If you are already in poverty and struggling by yourself, is it smart to bring another child in the world to deal with the same issues? The laws of the land basically say besides providing his seed and his money, the father is a non-factor in child-rearing. If you want to create an actual dialogue, great, but have same damn class and not make outright lies about people's positions. Besides not having a point worth uttering, your writing is meandering…in other words it is poorly structured. If it makes you feel better, feel free to have the next word, the last word, or the next 100 words. We all want to feel and act grown without taking time to realize what it truly means to be grown. I'm not talking about true deadbeats but is it just that men have no control at all in this issue? Therefore, if she mentioned even once that she had no desire of keeping the baby before she fell into a coma, by law, you're required to uphold her wishes.
This is different from the physical and possibly mental toll it will undoutedly take on her regardless of her decision. I don't quite understand what the point was to this blog, other than to announce that some guy in some state put up some sign about some chick aborting his child.



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